Author: Sami-pi
Rating: G? Oh wait I swore. So PG.
Genre: humour, gen-fic (well, you can read-in a 1x2x1 if you want)
Characters: Duo, Heero, guest appearance by Une
Warnings: I'm probably not as funny as I think I am.
Notes: inspired by... well by that stupid button-that's-not-a-button on my computer at work. ^O^
It's a Merula-inspired drabble, peeps!
The Button
"Hey, Heero?"
The stacks of paper on Heero's desk shifted slightly and one blue eye peered out at Duo from the narrow gap created between them.
"You want coffee?"
The papers shifted again to create a small, empty space on the desk, just big enough for one standard-sized coffee mug.
"Half a cream and one sugar, right? Be right back!"
Duo returned shortly, as promised, and placed Heero's coffee squarely on the patch of desk allotted for it.
"Dude, I so did not sign up for this paperwork shit."
Heero shrugged, even though Duo could not see it, separated as they were by the three foot high wall of paper between them.
"I thought being a Preventer's Agent would be more...well, less..."
Heero transferred a sheaf of papers from his "in" tray to his "done" tray.
"Oh wait, Heero, was that the Trafalgar file? Can I just slip this affidavit in there?"
Duo walked around to Heero's side of the office and reached over his keyboard to access the folder he needed.
"Shit, sorry, I got a little coffee on your hard drive."
Heero admonished his officemate for walking around holding a cup full of hot liquid.
"C'mon, relax. I'll just wipe it off."
Duo swiped his thumb across the surface of the mini tower.
"Hey! What's this? Is it a button? What does it do?"
Both Heero and Duo peered at the round mark on the otherwise smooth casing.
"There's no label..."
Heero kind of knew that tone of voice.
"What do you think?"
Heero shifted all of his papers over to Duo's desk across the office.
"Have you backed up all your work?"
Heero nodded.
"I'm doing it..."
There was a small "whumf" and smoke began to curl out from the computer's fan.
"Huh. Was that a self-destruct button? Your computer has a self-destruct button?"
Heero shoved Duo to one side so that he could peer at his computer.
"Let me look, dumbass. I'm the demo-guy."
Duo pulled the computer towards him and pried open the casing...which rewarded him with a puff of black smoke right in the face.
"Arg! I can't believe your computer has a self-destruct button! Only Heero Yuy would - hey, mine has one too! Did you back up my computer too, Heero?"
Duo moved their combined stacks of paperwork to the floor.
"How do you suppose they make the explosion so self-contained, Heero?"
Heero poked at the ruined remains of his computer and shrugged.
"I mean, do you think the casing is Gundanium alloy? It must be right? It was completely undamaged! It even kept its shape."
Duo was bent over his computer, busy opening it up and examining the contents.
"I don't see anything suspicious in here... looks like your normal computer inside. Certainly nothing explosive. All the wiring and circuits are in order..."
Heero trotted over to have a look, being the self-proclaimed "computer-guy" if Duo was going to be the "demo-guy", and he had to admit that Duo's assessment was correct.
"Do you think it's incendiary, or do you think it's just a short circuit?"
It looked like a simple short, but one could never be sure, and Heero always liked to be sure.
"Yeah, we should try it out. It's better to know what we're dealing with. I mean, we have to work with these things!"
Looking around for something combustible, Duo could only see the stacks and stacks of un-filed paperwork dominating their small office.
"Heero... You're not going to say I can't, are you?"
Heero handed Duo the Trafalgar file.
"I love you."
Rolling his eyes, Heero closed up the computer casing, trapping the Trafalgar file inside.
"Fire in the hole!"
There was a small "whumf" and smoke poured out from the computer's fan.
"Ace, Heero! It's an incendiary device in there!"
Duo hurtled out of their shared office, shouting for Trowa to back up his computer.
"I found a way to get rid of all that paperwork!"
~*~
Commander Une gently rubbed her temples as the fifth smoke alarm of the day went off.
"Explain to me, again, Mr. Reid, why Internal Security thought it was wise to equip all the computers with self-destruct buttons?"
There was no answer from the dejected-looking man sitting across from her.
"And will someone PLEASE tell me why I didn't execute Duo Maxwell when I had the chance?"
OWARI
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