Author: PlaidDragon
Pairings: 1+2
Warnings: AU, Language, Humor
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its original characters do not belong to me.
This is sort of an experiment; y'all can tell me how successful it is. ^___^ I had an idea for a Halloween-kinda fic and it surprised the hell out of me. O.o Normally, I can never come up with a themed fic anywhere near the appropriate holiday, so I don't exert myself to do so. But this time... I thought I'd give it a shot. ^___^ Consider this a very rough draft; everything in it is subject to change once I have time to stare at it for a while. >_> I probably should light a few hamsters to get the rest of them working again, too. ^___^
Oh, uh... "language" warning. ^___~
Ticket
Another branch snapped back, whacking Duo in the face. "Goddammit," he muttered. "Stop leading me places where the foliage is trying to kill me, dammit!" he yelled ahead of him.
"Watch where yer goin' then!" came the surly reply. "Not my fault yer a damn klutz!"
"Could you at least pick a path?!" Another wet branch slapped at his shoulder.
"If there was a path, I'd be followin' it, ya idiot. Yer the one wanted to go this way."
"You said I would find it this direction!"
"Ya never asked how far this way, dumbass."
Duo stopped walking and scrubbed his hands over his face. Fuck. It wasn't supposed to be like this... None of the books ever warned of this; none of his instructors ever warned him... Even when he told G what he hoped to do, the old fart never opened his bloody mouth. Just nodded and looked mysterious, as always. He should just turn around now and go back to the manor and slap the crap out of that smirking old weasel.
Except... he wasn't sure where he was, or which way was "back".
A figure materialized almost nose to nose with him. He jumped back with a start and fell over a tree root, landing hard on his butt in the wet leaves.
"Dammit, stop doing that!"
"Keep up, then!" The figure squatted down to his level. "Ya know, I expected ya to be a little more... experienced. I mean yer greener than the leaves. Ya asked me to take ya to what ya want; I'm taking ya there. And yer standing here having a private pity party." The figure snorted derisively. "Some wizard ya are, kid."
"I'm not a wizard," Duo muttered, climbing to his feet. "And you know it. Just... You're not what I expected either, you know."
"Yeah, yeah... Ya wanted some happy-slappy, 'yes massah', forelock-tugging peon, didn't ya? Well, sorry dumbass; ya got me instead. Too bad; live with it. And get moving!" He turned and strode ahead into the tangled underbrush.
"Yeah," Duo sighed. "I got you... Not much of a friend..." He followed the other slowly. "I better find it, you pissant jerk!" he yelled. "Or I'll fucking send you back!"
"Ya can try!" drifted back to him.
True; he could and he would probably fail. He didn't have enough power or experience yet to push that obnoxious thing around. Never should have chosen him... should have picked that little blonde girl. Bet she wouldn't be calling him "dumbass" every third sentence...
He caught up to his impatient companion a few minutes later, ignoring the rolling eyes and annoyed sighs.
"All right, which way from here?"
"Ya want the long way or the short way?"
Another facepalm moment. Damn, but this character was a pain in the ass.
"Why don't you decide, since I'm such a dumbass?"
"Glad to see ya know yer place, dumbass," he laughed.
"Will you just quit that?!" Duo yelled. "I asked, you answered; now do your damn job, asshole!"
"Hey! I'm not yer slave, pussyboy! Ya don't order me around!"
"Yes I do, dammit! I summoned you! Of course I order you around! That's how it works!" he screamed at the glowering spirit.
"Ya know what; fuck ya. And the broom ya rode in on. I'm outta here." He swung around and disappeared into the trees again.
"Hey! Get back here! You can't just leave! I summoned you!"
There was no reply.
"Ah, shit..." Great. Just fucking great. Dammit, he was going to hunt down the authors of all those books and all those instructors - starting with that old fart G - and slap the shit out of them for not mentioning one word about pissy, disobedient, motherfucking ghosts.
Duo sighed heavily and started walking in the direction his recalcitrant ghost had gone. He wasn't really lost, he told himself; eventually he would find a town or a settlement and get himself oriented again. But how humiliating to have your first ghost just blow you off like that! He'd be a long time living this down.
He slogged through the wet brush for several hours, pausing now and then to call out, hoping that the rotten spirit would answer him. It wasn't supposed to be able to just walk away from him. The summoning was supposed to hold it. But then... he didn't recall ever seeing anything about the maximum distance the summoning would hold it to... Great. Why did all these little "gotchas!" only occur to him now? Why not in class or the workshops or the labs, when he could actually ask questions and maybe even get answers? Another facepalm moment. No wonder that weasel G smirked so much. He was probably setting his students up for just this.
He was gonna kill the old fart when he got back... Slowly.
He ducked under a fallen tree trunk and straightened up to find a pair of brilliant blue eyes regarding him benignly. He gasped and staggered backwards, banging his head against the tree trunk.
"Shit!"
A dark eyebrow above one blue eye lifted disapprovingly and a strand of thick dark hair slid across a perfect cheek.
"Ah. Sorry," Duo apologized automatically. "Wasn't expecting to see anyone."
"Hn. You should pay more attention to your surroundings."
"Uh... yeah." What astonishing eyes...
"In any case, if you are visiting, I need to see your visa."
Duo stared at him. "A... visa?"
"Yes. You crossed the border about a thousand meters back. A visa is required."
Duo opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and finally managed a disappointingly foolish-sounding "Huh?"
The man cocked his head slightly. "You don't have a visa. Shall I assume you weren't intending on visiting at all?"
Closing his mouth with a snap, Duo nodded. "I don't even know where I am. I was following my... my companion... and we got separated... He was showing me a path, but..." Oh, my little green goblins; what a devastating creature!
Understanding dawned in those fabulous eyes. The rest of the package was pretty damn fabulous too, Duo noted distractedly while trying to pull his wits together. He'd always had the hots for Asian-looking guys. And the broken nose from Wufei to prove it.
This particular man was no taller than Duo, though a bit sturdier in build and dressed in mottled green and black. His boots were smooth leather and his chocolate brown hair fluffy and unruly. Wufei had nothing on this guy.
"Ah!" The man reached into a pocket somewhere on his person and withdrew a small notebook. "It must belong to you. I'm afraid I'll have to write you a ticket," said the embodiment of all his wet dreams. "It's against the local ordinance for it to be running around off-leash, even if you are just passing through."
"Huh?" Okay, the wit-gathering wasn't going so well. If only the man wasn't quite so perfect...
"Your spirit. We require spirits to be leashed at all times, except in the designated spirit parks. I also noticed it doesn't have any tags."
"Tags?"
"Tags. All spirits must display tags with their summoner's information. Did yours get out of his collar somehow?"
"Collar?"
The man looked at him in concern. "Are you all right?"
"I... I don't know," Duo managed to reply, wondering just when he'd fallen down a rabbit hole and why he hadn't noticed. "Where am I?"
The man took his arm solicitously and lowered him to a seat on a relatively dry rock. "You're in Faerie, just south of Elfham and Dwarvshire. Where were you headed?"
"Um... He... It was supposed to be taking me to my heart's desire..." he mumbled, entranced by those concerned blue eyes.
The blue eyes blinked and seemed to deepen in color. "And your heart's desire is...?" he inquired softly.
"Family," he whispered obediently. "A place to belong..."
The blue-eyed man smiled then and the whole world lit up. "You wish to immigrate. Excellent! In that case... I can escort you to the immigration office and you can start your paperwork!" He did something and a glass globe with a silver bale handle appeared. "Here is your spirit. You can get it licensed at the same time and you won't have to pay the fine."
Duo stared at the globe; at the swirling blue and gold colors. "How did you...?"
Heero waggled the globe a bit, smirking at it and causing the colors to pop like tiny fireworks. "It's a headstrong one, isn't it? I can see how it got away from you." The colors in the globe pulsed with a sharp-edged irritation. "Have you named it yet?"
"It... He said his name was Solo..." Fascinating how the swirling colors conveyed annoyance. He could almost hear Solo calling him a dumbass.
"You let it name itself? That's never good; it'll never mind you if you let it run you."
Duo looked up. "I didn't know that... No one ever... Who are you, anyway?"
"Sorry," the man smiled with an elegant tilt of his head. "My name is Heero; I'm the warden for this district. And you are..."
"Duo... Duo Maxwell. I am... confused," he confessed helplessly. "You say I've wandered into Faerie? I thought that was a myth..."
Heero of the brilliant blue eyes smiled at him again. "I am very happy to meet you, Duo Maxwell," he said with a distinct purr. "And Faerie is no more of a myth than wizards."
"I'm not a wizard."
"No?" Curious confusion for an instant.
Still staring at the swirling, pulsing globe, Duo said reluctantly, "I'm a necromancer. Sort of."
A hiss of surprise and a soft "Are you now... A trained necromancer?"
"Sort of," he repeated. "I just graduated. This is my first ghost."
He looked up at the Faerie warden. "I have no family or friends... I wanted him to show me the place I would be welcome..."
Heero smiled warmly and offered his arm. "It did, Duo. I do believe it did..."
From somewhere very far away, Duo heard a snort and a caustic, "Told ya, didn't I? Dumbass."
OWARI
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