Silence Part 2
My first waking thought is, ::What the hell happened?! Where am I?:: Then, ::Solo! Duo! Where are they?!::
I open my eyes to darkness. Complete and utter pitch-blackness. No night has ever been this dark.
::That bastard! Goddammit, the sonuvabitch shot me! Am I... blind..?::
For some reason, the idea of being blinded (and all the logistical problems involved in that) doesn't bother me half so much as the thought of never being able to look into Duo's shining violet eyes again. Of never again seeing my precious son's cobalt blue eyes (Duo's idea, not mine; I would have preferred Solo to have any eyes but mine).
And then I remember Duo flying over the counter to my side as I wrestled with the gunman. ::What did he do to my Duo? Did he hurt my son?::
I try to sit up. I open my mouth to shout for someone. I feel nothing. I hear nothing. The gun went off in my face; did it blow out my hearing as well as my sight?
I try to touch my face. Nothing happens.
::Whatthefuck?!::
::What's going on here?!::
::What happened?! What the hell happened to me?!::
Panic claims me, sucking my training, my experience, even my common sense into a black hole of terror.
I scream. There is no sound. Nothing.
::Duo! Oh my god! Duo!!! Where are you?!::
~*~
Voices. I hear voices. The sound causes a surge of relief like an electrical shock through my entire body. ::I'm not dead. I'm not deaf. Contact with the world has been established.::
But I can't understand the voices. The words make no sense. I frown. That isn't right; I speak seven languages, I should be able to at least pick out the thread of the conversation.
The emotion is plain, though, a voice in pain, a soul in anguish. It's a familiar voice, a welcome voice, but for a long time, I can't place it.
Something touches me. I feel a pressure on my face and something else...
::Why the hell don't I know what's going on! I don't understand this!::
I'm still in darkness. I try to speak, to get the attention of the voices, but nothing happens.
A scent. A heady, intoxicating scent that I know intimately. Musk, sweat, strong emotion... Heat, sex, passion... My Duo...
::It's him, in this place. It's Duo! He's here!::
But the scent is fading, growing faint even as I place it and make the connection to my love. Duo is leaving. Going away.
::No!!! Duo!!! Don't leave me! Duo!!!::
~*~
::I can see!::
There is light! Faint and gray, but light all the same! I'm not blind after all!
I see movement at the corner of my eye, but I can't follow it. My eyes won't move. My head won't move.
::Ah, fuck!::
Now I understand.
::Heero Yuy, no baka!:: Of course, I can't move. I'm paralyzed.
::Well, shit...::
But I'm alive. I can see. I can hear. I can smell. (Duo's been here; I can smell his distinctive berry shampoo, even though he isn't here now. And other scents that I know I should know but can't place.)
I try again to speak. Nothing. Crap.
A figure pauses just inside my field of vision. I hear the murmur of a voice close by, then a reply from further away.
A tone of dissent. An argument.
The figure near me reaches out to touch my eyelids, pushing them closed.
::Hey! What the hell was that for?! Keep your hands off me!::
In the darkness, I feel a new presence. A familiar scent.
::Duo!::
I smell him; I feel him! Oh, god... I hear his voice, cheerful, light, but with an undercurrent of misery.
He's talking to someone. And then he's alone with me. We're alone together. He touches my hand, lifting it. I feel his warmth, the strength in his fingers. There is a feeling of movement, of pressure. I feel...
Oh, god...
I feel his lips on mine...
I want to reach for him. I want to grab him and pull him down into my arms. I want to devour him, to taste him, to dig my fingers into his flesh until he whimpers. I want to kiss him and lick him and fuck him. I want... him...
And I can do nothing. Paralysis. I can't return his kiss, his touch, his embrace. I can't even open my eyes to see him!
::Goddammit! You bastard; you heartless bastard! Why did you close my eyes, like I was a fuckin' corpse?! You lousy, damned... bastard!:: I scream, alone in my darkness.
::Duo, Duo, Duo... I'm here! I'm here, my love! Oh, shit... Duo, my angel, my darling, mylovemyonlylove...::
I feel the liquid heat. Drop by drop on my face, my shoulder. Duo is crying. I hear him, I feel the tears. He's holding me, lying beside me, I realise. I want to turn into his arms so much...
My insides twist with the wrenching pain of his sobs.
I can feel his hair tickling at my nose. That silken mass of chestnut hair... Who is brushing out his beautiful hair? I suddenly picture him sitting alone on the bed, stroking the brush through his auburn mane, separating it into plaits, slowly weaving the plaits into the familiar braid, tying it off with a piece of ribbon.
It hurts; it hurts so much to feel him hurting.
~*~
Things in my tiny world are becoming clearer. Voices, sounds, words are becoming clear and recognizable. My thoughts are becoming more coherent. I begin to understand what happened, why I'm here.
The would-be robber shot me in the head. Duo killed him. Duo and Solo were not hurt. (I give a heartfelt, if disjointed, thanks to Duo's God every time I wake for that blessing. And I remember, sometimes, to also thank her for not taking me from them completely.)
I understand that I've been in a coma. I don't understand why I'm awake, but no one sees or notices. I try to attract their attention, but still my body holds me prisoner, trapped in silence.
I'm able to recognize more of the voices and their words.
Sally Po has been here often, talking with the doctors (they always move away, out of my hearing when they talk, as if afraid to have me hear what they're saying) and with Duo.
And Quatre, Trowa and Wufei come often, usually when Duo is here, sometimes when he isn't.
Other voices, not so often. Hilde and Catherine come occasionally; their bright, female mezzos trembling with unshed tears. And once I heard Rashid, the commander of the Maguanac Corps, his voice a deep, respectful rumble in counterpoint to my Duo's light tenor. A warm, solid contralto belonging to my nurse is a constant during the daylight hours as she reads aloud from whatever book currently strikes her fancy.
Oh, but best of all visitors (besides my darling Duo), the rare occasions when Duo brings our son, our wonderful Solo, for brief visits. He's growing up so fast. His voice, his words, the way his young mind works, all those things tell me that time is passing.
He's seems not to fear what must be a frightening sight to a child; to see a parent lying still and unresponsive, like a still-breathing corpse. I wonder what he's thinking as he pats my cheek and holds my hand and chatters away about his life (sounding more than a little like my violet-eyed vixen). He talks about his school (how long have I been like this, I wonder sometimes; how much time is passing while I lie trapped in this recalcitrant shell?), and his friends and the things he likes. He has a pet I learn, when he sneaks it into the room to show me, a solemn unblinking reptile of dubious origin, that he's named "Sweetums".
The incongruity strikes me as funny; I wish I could laugh.
~*~
Sometimes Duo sneaks into this place at night. I don't know how I know that it's night, maybe because I doubt even Duo would dare the things he dares during the hours when people are coming and going so frequently.
He slides in silently, shedding his clothing as he crosses the floor, slipping into bed beside me, bare skin to bare skin, to hold me and touch me and worship my body in the way he always has.
My husband, the hentai.
Duo talks sex to me. He strokes my hair, my face, my body. He reminds me of things we did when we were first in lust with each other, before either of us recognized the love. He talks of the stolen moments during dangerous times, the nearly disastrous events, the heat, the passion, the fearsome power of our love and need for each other.
And he promises that the best is yet to come.
And somehow, I believe him.
He will not leave me like this. He will not let me slip away.
::I love you, Duo. God, how I love you!::
TBC...
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