Author: PlaidDragon
Pairings: 1x2/2x1; 5xS/Sx5
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language
Disclaimer: Dum-de-dum-de-dum.... They'll all be mine just as soon as I finish this sweater for Deathscythe.... the bunnies said so. ^__^ But in the meantime... they're not mine. O.O;;;
Lockjaw
Duo paused to tie a loose shoelace; Heero and Wufei continued on down the sidewalk still debating the merits of the film they'd just seen.
He straightened, intending to jog after them, and was yanked violently off his feet and into a shadowed courtyard. He yelped, even as a hand covered his mouth and an arm wrapped around his ribs lifting him right off his feet.
Oh, hell no!
He slammed his head back, right into his attacker's face and the hand over his mouth fell away.
"You are fuckin' dead, dude!" Duo yelled, twisting to stomp on the guy's foot and jam an elbow into his ribs.
The guy staggered, recovered with a snarl, and threw a roundhouse punch that connected with Duo's jaw and threw him hard into a wall. Pain exploded in his head, sparkles of brilliant color bloomed behind his eyes. Yells from the street - assistance on the way - kept him from going down. He pushed away from the wall and dived after his attacker, slamming him into the far wall. He hauled back and punched the guy once, twice, and then the colored lights flashing in his peripheral vision grew larger and brighter and took him away.
~*~
The smell woke him up.
I know that smell, he thought fuzzily. Don't like that smell.
Then something tickled his nose and brushed his lips. He muttered dire threats to whatever bug or bit of dust dared to annoy his sleep.
"Wake up, babe," said a low voice next to his ear.
"Don wanna..." he whined. "Tell OZ it's too early...."
"Come on, hon; Sally wants to check your eyes."
"Sally...?" he mumbled. He pried one eye open and the doctor's face swam into view. "Huh...?"
"You haven't a clue yet, have you?" she smirked.
"Huh?"
She chuckled at that. "And you thought he wouldn't be able to talk."
"I said that Chang said he wouldn't be able to talk; I know better."
"Well, how about if you give Sleeping Beauty a kiss and then run along to your interrogation."
Heero snorted and obediently leaned over his owlishly blinking husband to brush his lips gently over Duo's. "I'll be back soon. You can come home tomorrow if you're good today."
"Um-hmmm..." Duo sighed, still mostly asleep.
"Okay, Agent Maxwell, open those pretty eyes and let me see your pupils." He snorted and complied blearily.
"Wha'dja give me this time? ...feel like wet spaghetti..."
The little light flickered in his eyes. "The usual, plus a bit of the good stuff to keep you out a little longer. I know how you are."
She should, by this time. He began to smile, but that hurt. What the hell...? Oh yeah... That punch... Wait a minute...
He made a few experimental moves. Sally smacked his hand lightly.
"Stop it, Maxwell. You're wired up."
His eyes popped open. He lunged to a vertical position. He squawked. His face suddenly hurt; a whole lot.
"Wired?!" he gasped, grabbing at his face. "He broke my jaw?!"
"He sure did," she chuckled evilly. "You'll be eating through a straw for a while."
"Sally!" He could still talk, he realized, even without moving his jaw much. He just couldn't open his mouth... Aw, shit! Regardless of what "good stuff" she'd given him earlier, he was damn well wide awake now.
"Milkshakes, Duo," she soothed. "Chocolate, coffee, strawberry; all day, every day for a couple of weeks. I know you love that idea." She reached back and touched the call button; the response was already arranged and would be along within minutes.
Well... yeah... But there was more at stake here than his sweet tooth.
"Sally. Heero and I are scheduled for a vacation, starting Monday," he growled through unfortunately-clenched teeth. "It's our anniversary! Can't you slap a regen on this and get it healed?"
"I would if I could, but you've already maxed out. That's why I gave you the special stuff; to keep you under for the regen. That's why you should be good to go in less than two weeks. And why you don't hurt like bloody hell right now."
He tried again to open his mouth. Nope; a centimeter or so was it and even that hurt like crazy; he backed off from that quickly. Where did the woman get the idea that this didn't "hurt like bloody hell"? He groaned and melted into the mattress.
"Dammit... We made reservations and everything! This is supposed to be our... the honeymoon we didn't get," he sighed.
Sally softened slightly at his pathetic whimpers. "I'm sorry, Duo; if I could do anything more to speed it up, you know I would, but regen isn't magic. It's just a jump start; it still takes time for everything to heal properly. You're already short-siding because of who you are; I don't think we can hope for anything better." She sat down next to the bed. "I know it would be rather awkward, but you could still go on your vacation."
He glared at her, snarling through clenched teeth again. "Sally, I had high hopes of spending two weeks in bed. It's our honeymoon!"
Sally blinked; no, Duo never minced words when he was irritated. And people always assumed Heero was the undiplomatic one.
The door opened then and an orderly entered with a food tray. He set it on the table, saluted, grinned and disappeared again.
"What's that?" Duo grumbled.
"Your breakfast. I thought you'd like coffee flavor." She brought the table around and stripped the paper off the straw while Duo glared at the tall paper cup.
"You cannot distract me with sugar right now, dammit." He folded his arms over his chest as if to refuse the offered milkshake. "My honeymoon is toast."
"There's nothing wrong with your other end, Maxwell," she smirked evilly.
"Sally," he returned ominously, "What part of 'blowjob' do you not understand?"
"Oh. Ah. Yes, that could be a problem..."
"Could be a problem?!" he snapped. "Ouch! Crap. I wanna kick that jackass's butt from here to Sao Paulo. He ruined my 24/7 ravishment of my husband, dammit!"
Okay, it wasn't funny, but Sally still had a hard time not laughing. Those two were so damn cute together; Heero so cool and icy and Duo so hot and volatile. Fire and ice; together they were just explosive. And they kept life from ever being boring.
She stuck the bendable straw in the shake and handed it to him, nodding her approval when he sighed and began to drink, grumbling under his breath.
"Well... Hm... I'm sure Une will be more than happy to reschedule your vacation," she offered. "Especially after the commendations."
Duo paused in his soto voice muttering and cursing. "Commendations? What commendations? We haven't done anything to warrant commendations since last year."
Sally blinked at him. "The guy you just took down." The "duh!" was clearly implied in her tone.
Duo frowned; he had paused for another cautious perusal of his wired and swollen face. "What about him?" Shit! He was going to be black and blue for weeks!
"Duo! Didn't you recognize him?"
"Recognize him?! He grabbed me from behind, Sally; we weren't formally introduced!"
Sally burst out laughing. "You didn't even know?! Ohmigod! Duo Maxwell, you really are amazing!"
He glared at her, but as usual, it had no effect on the doctor. "Well, thank me for brightening your day," he growled, and took another cautious slurp of the milkshake. It wasn't a regular shake; he could just barely taste all the nutrient junk that made it a "food" rather than an indulgence, but it was pretty close. Close enough for government work....
"Duo! You took down Romero Kaloogian!"
It was Duo's turn to blink. "Huh? You're kidding, right?"
"I am not!" She opened the computer that Heero had left for him, and booted it up. "Sign in," she commanded, and he did so, still not quite believing. She took it back and opened a news site and shoved it back at him. "Read and preen, Maxwell! The Tenacious Trio strike again!"
A mug shot photo of Romero Kaloogian front and center, with three official photos of Heero, Wufei and Duo on the side. The headline read "Preventers Capture Escaped Serial Murderer".
Duo skimmed the text; if his jaw hadn't been wired shut, it would have landed on the floor.
"Holy shit!"
"'Romero Kaloogian, convicted serial murderer and suspect in a new string of recent murders,'" he read slowly. "'Was captured last night by Preventer Agents Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei and Heero Yuy, when he made the near-fatal mistake of trying to make one of the agents his next victim.' 'Near-fatal'?! You mean they didn't kill him?" he demanded.
"You know the rules, Duo. Only as much force as needed to bring the subject under control," Sally smirked. "But he did need a lot of force, it seems."
"That guy is crazy! Of course it takes a lot to bring him down! He put three cops in the hospital last time," he huffed. "Hey. Why am I not in worse shape?" he demanded crossly. "Didn't I pass out? I remember him hitting me, and I think I hit him back..."
"Oh, you did," she grinned. "Heero said you were pounding the crap out of him when they reached you, but then you started to fade out and he got in some pretty good shots at you. The prick went for your gun and they had to jump on him. Wufei says he'll buy you a new weapon."
Duo stared at her suspiciously. "What's wrong with my gun?" He'd had that automatic since the war; he liked it, it was a comforting old friend.
Sally did a good job of keeping her face blank for all of five seconds, before starting to giggle. "Kaloogian was threatening to kill you with it, so Heero had to take it away from him. Wufei said Heero was pretty angry at the moment. So was Kaloogian. He expressed his displeasure by kicking Wufei in the groin and trying to shoot him, since Heero was blocking his shot at you. Heero took the gun away and pistol-whipped Kaloogian with it, all the while snarling in Japanese. Your gun... well, it got a little bit... bent. Wufei is quite grateful," she smirked. "Since he was in no shape to take his own revenge. So am I, by the way. He's on a week's medical leave and totally at my mercy at home."
Duo stared at her. "Let me get this straight... You're grateful that your husband, as a substitute for me, got kicked in the balls by a psychotic serial killer? You're a hard woman, Sally."
She smacked his hand lightly. "Smartass! Wufei and I are happy the psychotic killer wasn't able to do any worse. Besides, I've been trying to get him to take some time off for months now."
Duo lay back down, staring at the ceiling. "This is just... surreal. We've been looking for that stupid fuck for weeks, and he just happens to grab me? Geez, what are the odds of that happening?"
"Several million to one, I suppose? I was never that strong in statistical probabilities," she sighed. "But you do kind of fit his victim profile; long hair, slender build. And he did take a couple of his victims right from under the noses of other people."
He thought about it for a while; Sally waited silently. "So... a kick in the balls and a broken jaw is all it cost to get him... And my gun, of course. After how many murders this time? Nine? Or was it up to thirteen?"
"Fifteen, altogether. They found his squat early this morning."
"Geez!" Fifteen murders. This time. All because the law wouldn't put him down like the rabid animal he was, in the first place... Justice, my ass; Shinigami believed in revenge. Damn. Too bad he couldn't break that fucker's jaw. Wait a minute... "What did you mean, Heero pistol-whipped him? Heero's Mr Rule Book; he wouldn't rough up a suspect unnecessarily."
"I said the guy needed quite a bit of force; do try to pay attention, Duo. If Heero hadn't been there, you and Wufei would probably be dead. Mr Rule Book went into Maximum Zero Overdrive to protect you and my hubby. I've already told Une that if she gets on Heero's case about it, Wufei and I will personally make the rest of her life a living hell." She patted Duo's hand and leaned in close. "You're the second person to know, from me, at least; I'm pregnant."
"You-! But-! Whoa!" Again, his jaw would have been in his lap if it hadn't been wired up. "No shit! Well, no wonder you want to keep him around." He blinked, trying to picture Chang Wufei as 'daddy'. Nope; not even his imagination could stretch that far right now. "Oh, hell no!" he snorted. "That's it; Chang is wrapped in cotton batting from now until that kid graduates college. Does Heero know?"
Sally smirked at him. "Not sure. Wufei may have been moved to share that with Heero. He did suggest asking the two of you to be guardians."
"Really...? And you...?"
She poked him in the shoulder affectionately. "And who would be better guardians than the Pitbull and the Psycho? No worries for the kid's safety with you two around."
Well, damn. And the wiring wouldn't let him grin like an idiot. On principle, he probably should object to the label of "psycho" for Heero; the guy wasn't psycho, he was just... dedicated.
Sally glanced at her watch. "In fact, the Pitbull should be back in a couple of hours or so; just in time for lunch."
He blinked. Wha...? Wait a damn minute...
"Sally!"
"Gotcha!" she laughed. "Now, what flavor would you like for lunch?"
"Pureed cheeseburger?"
"I'll check with the dietician. In the meantime, how about if you lie back and rest for a bit. Heero's under the misapprehension that you're napping right now; we don't want to disillusion him, now do we?"
There was an argument in there somewhere, but frankly, he didn't feel like chasing it down right now.
Romero Kaloogian, huh? Wow. Fucking double-wow, even. It was probably bad for him to be wishing that the sick fuck would decide to hang himself in his cell, but it was the absolute truth. If he'd known during the attack who had grabbed him, he might have just put a bullet into him and damn the IA. Fifteen, Sally had said. Add that to the twelve from his first spree... Shit. Just... shit.
~*~
He dozed for a while, blinking himself back to full consciousness at the sound of soft voices.
"You're supposed to be in a wheelchair!" hissed Sally.
"Don't be ridiculous, woman! I can damn well walk!" grumbled Wufei softly.
Duo turned his head to see Wufei hobbling painfully across the room with Sally hovering at his side.
"You can hardly stand, you idiot!"
"Pfft! It's not like I need them right now, woman; the mission is already accomplished! I wanted to make sure Maxwell is all right."
"You jerk," she growled with more than a little affection. "You don't want him to be an only child, do you?"
Wufei lowered himself into the chair Sally had vacated, not noticing that Duo was awake. "He can be an only child for a couple of years; that won't hurt anything. Dr. Schwartz says I'll be fine in a week or so." He hooked an arm around Sally's waist and drew her down on the arm of the chair. "So, how is the mouth that roared?"
"If I could get my mouth open, I'd be yelling at you right now, you asshole," growled Duo before Sally could answer.
"Well, I see it still roars," Wufei smirked. "How do you feel, aside from that?"
"Pissed! Why didn't you tell me you're going to be a father?" Duo accused.
Wufei broke into a full grin. "I was planning to break the news once we got to the pub. Circumstances intervened."
"Right," Duo snorted. He reached out to poke his friend in the arm. "Congratulations, you horny old dragon, you. I didn't know you had it in you." He waggled his eyebrows, ignoring that it made his face hurt. "Of course, now it's in Sally."
"I'm going to let that one go, Maxwell, but only because I do not wish to deprive my child of the chance to also be horrified by you." Sally poked him in the ribs. "And because you were directly responsible for getting that monster off the streets. Good job; I'm sorry that Yuy and I weren't quicker in backing you up."
Duo waved it away. "A broken jaw, a damaged gun, Kaloogian back in custody; it works out okay. I just wish..." He hesitated with a sigh. "Not this week, you know?"
Wufei looked to his wife for clarification; she leaned down to murmur in his ear.
"Ah. Your vacation. I forgot about that. I'm sure it can be rescheduled, though..."
"Probably," Duo sighed.
Sally's phone beeped; she flipped it open. "Po." She listened for a few seconds. "I'll be right down. Don't worry; not a problem at all." She closed the phone and got to her feet. "Trauma's being carpet bombed with casualties from something; I'm going to go help." She kissed Wufei lightly. "You go home and rest, jerk."
"When I'm done here," he replied blandly.
"Asshole."
"I love you too, wife."
"Playing with fire there, aren't you?" said Duo after Sally was safely gone.
"I have a five-day grace period; I'm not wasting a moment," Wufei smiled.
"Brave words. You know she's gonna get you after, right?"
"Of course. About your automatic, Duo..."
"Sally said Heero pistol-whipped Kaloogian with it."
"You passed out just as we got to the courtyard and Kaloogian grabbed the gun and shot at us, then threatened to shoot you. We both jumped on him, but my angle of attack was less that optimal. He managed to do some... damage..." He winced in remembrance.
"Sorry, man..."
"Nonsense. That piece of toad shit broke your jaw. I will heal before you do. When I went down, Kaloogian turned the gun on you. That would be when Heero teleported to your side and removed the automatic from Kaloogian's possession and proceeded to pound the crap out of him with it." He paused to smirk rather evilly. "It was a beautiful sight to behold. Did you know that Heero has quite a sewer mouth in Japanese?"
"Not... exactly. Wow. Heero went nuts for me... Man, that's love," he would have grinned, but for the wiring. "You know, I'm gonna go nuts myself with this wiring."
"Quite probably." Wufei glanced at his watch. "I will stay until Heero comes back, if that's all right. I'm sure if there is some sort of rush downstairs then Sally will not be ready to leave for a while. Why don't you get some sleep?"
~*~
Duo dozed off and on for a while. Each time he awoke Wufei was there; sometimes sitting quietly with his eyes closed, sometimes paging idly through a magazine. Damn. The guy was a great friend to sit with him when he felt so lousy himself. But where the hell was Heero? Surely it was lunchtime by now...?
"Wufei?" he mumbled finally, feeling oddly wrung out. "When's lunch? And where's Heero? Sally said he'd be back by lunchtime..."
"I don't know." He sounded a bit concerned and pulled out his phone to hit the speed dial for Heero. It rang only once before being answered. "Yuy, where are you? Duo is getting worried." He listened for a moment. "Okay; I'll tell him." He closed the phone. "He just got out of the car; should be here in a few minutes."
"Thanks, Wufei... Guess I'm finally starting to feel it. Man, I'm tired."
"You do look rather... mmm... washed out. Probably the combination of adrenalin, stress, pain and anesthesia. And the regen; that does take it out of you."
"Not as young as I used to be, either..." Duo sighed. "Man, remember when we were kids? Going for days without sleep, cutting suits and dolls to pieces by the hundreds, laughing about it... Well, I laughed; you and Heero did those... scary-noise things. And you were always going on about justice..."
"We were very young back then, and certainly not as bright as we thought we were," Wufei agreed ruefully.
"But we got the job done." Duo shook his head slightly. "Wow. I can't get over it. We caught Romero Kaloogian. By accident. Right here in River City. Why the hell didn't that stupid fuck go somewhere else? He had to know that every person with a damn badge would be looking for him here. How can anyone that fucking stupid be such a successful serial killer?"
Wufei sighed and shook his head in silent agreement. Duo relaxed again, staring up at the ceiling. How far from the parking structure to here, he wondered. Even allowing for having to park up top and take the stairs or the elevator down... Assume some crowded areas inside the hospital... Assume having to show ID at least twice... Should be no more than fifteen minutes.
Hm. He'd been so zonked when Heero left that he hadn't checked for any injuries to his knight in gundanium armor. Still felt like a damn dishrag.
"Hey, Wufei?"
"Yes, my friend?"
"Did Heero get hurt in the fight?"
"Keeping in mind that this is Yuy we're speaking of, I believe he had a bruise on his collarbone. I think Kaloogian kicked him."
"Bastard," Duo muttered. Maybe he could manage a few minutes alone with that prick... Five minutes. Hell; two would be plenty.
Nah, couldn't do that; he was supposed to be the good guy. Think about something else...
"Hey, Wufei; have you picked out a name yet? For the baby?"
"As a matter of fact, we have."
"Well? You gonna share?"
"Only if you swear not to make fun of it."
"We're talking about my... my... un-god-child here! I'm not making fun of his name!"
"Very well. We have decided on Chang-Po Qiao Long."
Duo mouthed the names together silently. "It's got a nice rhythm. It... it flows."
"Sally chose it; Qiao is the name of one of her most illustrious ancestors."
"Your doc has good taste."
"Thank you," Wufei murmured dryly.
"Wonder what she sees in you..."
"I've often wondered the same about Yuy."
They smirked at each other.
"Wufei... Has it been fifteen minutes yet?"
Wufei checked his watch, frowning. "Twenty-one minutes," he offered.
"Is the hospital that crowded?" Duo wondered, trying not to get anxious.
"I'll call him again; perhaps he is speaking with the doctor. You know how long-winded they can be."
Before he could dial, though, the room phone rang. Wufei reached for it.
"Chang." He listened for a moment. "What? Woman, slow down; I can barely understand you." He blinked and held the phone out, staring at it for a moment as if it had suddenly become a snake, before putting it to his ear once more. "Sally, say that again. Yes. Yes. Ye~es..." He put a hand to his eyes. "Shit. But Heero- Oh. Okay. I'll tell Duo. Yes. Well, try to make it quick; you know he has the patience of a gnat. Thank you. Sally? Love you." He hung up the phone and looked around. "Where's the remote for the TV?"
"Screw the TV!" snarled Duo. "What's going on and where's Heero?!"
"Ah! Here we go." He ignored Duo's demands and flicked through the channels to find the local all-news station. The voice-over was erratic, nearly hysterical; the picture was of the outside of the local police department. A pale, harried-looking woman in a police uniform was trying to answer a bombardment of questions. Her hastily-donned microphone kept cutting out and it was hard to follow what she was saying. Wufei grabbed the laptop from Duo's table instead and began typing.
"Wufei!"
"Heero's fine; stop screeching," he replied absently. "He's with Sally; she's doing a bit of stitching and then she'll send him right up."
Duo stared at him. "Stitching?!" It came out as a squeak. He looked back at the TV. Still mostly noise. He did catch something about "Kaloogian", "lawyer", "emergency" and "Preventer." Oh, shit... Oh, mothering shit...
"Ah!" cried Wufei and spun the computer to show Duo. "Kaloogian went psycho while the cops were questioning him. He attacked his lawyer, the DA and a bunch of cops."
Together they skimmed the breaking news. No one was quite sure what had brought it on; Kaloogian was being questioned by a police detective and the DA; his lawyer was advising him not to answer questions. Two police officers and a Preventers agent were also inside the room, with more cops and Preventers outside. With no warning, Kaloogian had attacked his lawyer, throwing her against a wall and then punching her several times. The others had gone to her rescue; the officers outside had raised the alarm and joined those inside. Kaloogian had then turned on the cops. One cop was dead, another was in critical condition, as was the hapless attorney, and several other cops had sustained severe injuries. The DA had a broken arm and a fractured skull. Kaloogian was dead. There was no mention of the Preventers' agents.
They stared at the news in awe. "Holy shit," breathed Duo after a long moment. "Damn," agreed Wufei softly. They both looked up at the TV. A previously recorded tape showed ambulances, fire trucks and rotating red and blue lights, dozens of uniformed cops and people rushing back and forth. A stretcher came out the main doors, and then another. Ambulances were loaded, sirens came on and the camera wobbled as the operator jumped out of the way. The time was listed as 1053. It was now almost 1230.
"But what about Heero..." Duo breathed, wide-eyed. "He was there, wasn't he?"
"That's what the delay is," Wufei said quietly. "Who do you think took Kaloogian out?"
Duo turned to stare at his friend. "How bad?" he demanded.
"Sally says a broken wrist and a cut over his cheekbone. He's been splinted; she's just stitching the cut now. He brought one of the cops who passed out afterwards in with him."
"Why didn't he say something?!" Now, he was annoyed. Dammit! Heero knew better than to go off and play without him.
Wufei snorted. "What; Yuy admit to an injury? He's your husband; why do you think he didn't say anything?"
Duo snorted. Apparently the Ice Man was alive and well. Well, he'd have a few words to say about this overly-protective need-to-know crap.
They watched as the video loop repeated itself, and then a live commentator came on with an update. It wasn't terribly enlightening. Duo was twisting the sheet into a rope, wrapping it around his hands like a garrote. Wufei took out his cellphone and dialed Heero's number again. It was answered after several rings.
"Um... Yuy?" The response was apparently in the affirmative. "Are you... okay?" Wufei asked carefully. He held the phone out so that Duo could hear the answer.
"I'm fine now," Heero said sourly. "I didn't realize I was bleeding until I got into the emergency room with the cop. Your wife pounced on me before I could get away."
"Ah," said Wufei, understanding completely. "Duo was concerned; he knows how long it takes to get here."
Heero groaned and muttered in an aside, "Come on, Sally; I've had stitches before. They don't have to be perfect."
"Yes, they do, dammit," came Sally's voice in the background. "I'm not sending you up to Duo looking like Frankenstein's monster. Now, hold still!"
Duo snorted, some of his color coming back. He leaned into the phone. "Heero! Let the doctor finish! Quit being an idiot!"
"Why aren't you asleep?"
"I was! I woke up to discover you've been fooling around on me, dammit!"
Silence, then a sigh. "Wasn't part of the plan, babe; sorry."
Duo sighed. "I know... Love you..."
"Love you too. Be there shortly." The phone went dead.
Duo lay back down with another sigh. "Why does this crap always happen to us, Wu? Does Murphy hate us that much?"
"I think Murphy knows we can handle it." He shifted in the chair. "Although... It would be nice to handle things without bruises."
"What? No bruises? C'mon Fei; you know a day without bruises is a day without sunshine," said Duo wryly.
Wufei blinked at him. "Actually, I like overcast days..."
Duo snickered, winced and sighed again.
The door opened a few minutes later, admitting the orderly with Duo's "lunch". Duo looked over hopefully, but settled back with a sigh when it wasn't Heero. He managed a tight smile for the orderly, a youngish black man with gold hoops in one ear, a diamond stud in the other, a nametag reading "Jamison" and a friendly grin.
"Dr. Po said you're to drink it all; she wants to get you out of here tomorrow."
"And this is the requirement? I think I can manage that," he quipped, stirring the concoction. It looked faintly pink, probably strawberry. "I asked for pureed cheeseburger..."
"The dietician just laughed, I'm afraid. Sorry."
"No respect for a fallen hero," snorted Wufei.
The orderly lost his smile. "Mr Maxwell, if you really want a pureed cheeseburger, I'll buy one and run it through the blender myself. I appreciate what you guys did, getting that monster off the streets again."
"He shouldn't have been out there in the first place," Duo sighed. "Apparently, maximum security ain't what it used to be."
"No kidding. Um... I'm glad you got him anyway. Gram Gillette was my partner," he said softly, busying himself with wiping down the table and checking the trash bin.
Duo and Wufei looked at each other.
"I'm sorry," said Duo. "I wish there was a way to find these guys before they go nuts."
Jamison nodded. "Floor 8 says they're working on it, but from what I've read, people have been working on that one for a few centuries. The psychos are still here." Duo finished the shake and he took the empty cup. "Again, thanks, Mr Maxwell; Mr Chang. You guys do a great job." He grinned again and vanished silently.
Wufei sighed. "Not good enough. Gillette was number four."
"But at least there won't be any more from this one."
"True. And maybe the next one won't be as clever."
"Yeah...." Duo relaxed against the pillows with a sigh.
"Tired?" asked Wufei.
Duo nodded. "Kinda hurts, too," he admitted reluctantly.
Wufei blinked. It would have to be considerably more than "kinda" hurting for Duo to admit to pain. He poked the call button. "I think you need another pill."
"Nah... It can wait until Heero gets here."
Wufei frowned at the door. "It may take that long to get anyone's attention," he muttered. "Don't these people care that patients may need them?" He got to his feet slowly and limped to the door, opened it and peered out, then shut it almost immediately.
Duo noticed. "What's wrong?" he growled.
"I can see the elevators from here; they're full of media. Security and what looks like every nurse on the floor are holding them off." He pulled out his phone again.
Duo slumped back with a groan. "Vultures, dammit," he muttered.
"Une? Chang. I'm with Maxwell at the hospital. The media are trying to swarm our floor. Security is losing ground and Yuy is on his way up. I think we need backup before he gets here or PR will have some 'splainin' to do. Floor six; thanks." He closed his phone and smirked at Duo. "Une is sending in the hounds."
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!"
Wufei blinked; Duo snorted.
"Hmm... Apparently not quickly enough," murmured Wufei, once again peering out the door.
"GET OFF THIS FLOOR, OUT OF THOSE ELEVATORS AND OUT OF THIS HOSPITAL! NOW!!!"
Wufei turned to grin at Duo, whose eyes were the size of saucers. "Honeeeey; he's hoooome."
A rumble of protest from the hallway.
"I SAY SO! OUT! IF SOMEONE DIES BECAUSE OF YOU, I'LL SEE EVERY-DAMN-ONE OF YOU IN PRISON! Get that fucking camera out of my face or I will feed it to you!"
"GENTLEMEN! LADIES!"
Wufei snickered. "Uh-oh... Une's here. They're stuffing into the elevators like sardines into a can... Yuy just planted his foot in someone's butt so the doors will close. Ha! Noin brought a squad in riot gear... Heero's coming..." He hopped away from the door only an instant before it burst open.
"Duo! Are you okay? They didn't get in here, did they?" He didn't notice Wufei flattened against the wall until he spoke.
"Yuy, please!" he huffed. "Do you think I'd let those hyenas disturb Maxwell? I am insulted!" He stuck his nose in the air haughtily, but the effect was ruined by his snicker.
"Chang, you're supposed to be resting, not fending off jackals." Heero wrapped his arms around Duo, hugging him close. "Okay?" he murmured and kissed his forehead.
"I am now," Duo sighed.
"I was resting," insisted Wufei, returning to the chair. "Not like I couldn't still kick ass on those fools," he sneered.
"Lemme see," Duo demanded, turning Heero's head to get a look at the stitches. Wufei also leaned closer. "Hmm... Not too bad," Duo allowed critically, tracing the twelve tiny neat stitches covered by a clear plastic butterfly. He glanced at Wufei who was also nodding his approval. "Your lady does pretty good work."
Wufei snorted in amusement. "The lady has taken up quilting."
Heero also snorted. "An outstanding use of her skills."
Duo reached for his arm. "Wrist now. How bad is it?" he demanded checking the splints and wrapping.
"Clean break. Sally says she'll stick it in regen as soon as the swelling goes down, and then cast it. Tonight or tomorrow." He nuzzled Duo's temple. "Sorry about our vacation, babe..."
Duo huffed. "So am I, but hey, I'm a big boy; I can handle it."
Wufei snickered. Duo glared at him.
"I already talked to Une," Heero said. "She says we have six weeks of medical leave plus up to six weeks of vacation, if we want it. Starting now."
Duo stared at him. "Really? Well, shit; we may have to name our first child after her!"
"Oh, please! Just stay out of trouble; that's all I ask, Maxwell!" Une stood in the doorway, looking only a bit ruffled. She stalked over to grab a straight chair. "Noin has that under control," she said sourly, referring to the media blitz. "The cops are still freaking out or those bastards wouldn't have gotten in here in the first place. But never mind that now. Maxwell, how are you feeling?"
Duo waggled his hand in a so-so gesture. "Hurts; feels weird. Annoying, since we had our vacation planned."
"You can still talk, I see," she smirked, and Duo glared at her. "I know, nothing would stop that," she agreed. "Well, as of now you all have six weeks combined medical and stress leave. I don't want to see any of you -" She glanced at Wufei. "Especially you in the office for six weeks. Oh, by the way, Chang; congratulations," she said slyly. "I believe you have Lamaze classes beginning next week."
Wufei inclined his head regally. "Thank you, Commander; and I believe I do."
She snickered. "Continuing; I see no reason why you can't add your vacation onto your convalescence, if you so choose. It's not like you haven't all got time on the books. Keep me advised." She stood and offered her hand formally to Duo and to Heero. "Thank you both for your parts in capturing Romero Kaloogian; outstanding work, as usual." She turned to Wufei. "Chang, thank you for your part in the capture. Outstanding performance." He bowed minutely.
She headed for the door, pausing briefly. "Enjoy your time off; I'm sure your desks will be over-flowing once you return." She lifted her hand in farewell and vanished.
Duo rolled his eyes. "Now, exactly how are we supposed to enjoy our time off with that threat hanging over us?" he snorted.
Heero grinned at him. "I believe we will manage somehow... I am still capable of one-handed push-ups," he murmured in Duo's ear.
Duo's eyes lit up and he chuckled warmly. "I'll just bet you are," he breathed.
~*~
"Hey, Wufei! How ya doin'?!" grinned Duo on the vidphone. "You surviving the Lamaze classes?"
"Obviously," returned Wufei with a smirk. "I have been voted the 'coolest partner' by the ladies in the class. And I see you are fully recovered."
"Oh, man; it's so great to be able to eat real food again! I never thought I'd be saying I'm sick of milkshakes, but I am sick of milkshakes! We're going out tonight for steak," he growled happily.
"My heart sings for you. Now, to what do I owe this progress report?"
"You? Nothing. I actually called to tell Sally that the wires are off and I'm good as new. The doctor she referred me to was great - not as great as your wife, but 90% there!" He took a long swig of soda straight from the bottle. "Is the lady in question available for a minute or two?"
Wufei leaned away from the phone to call, "Wife! Maxwell is babbling on the phone."
Sally came from the kitchen carrying a tray of chips, salsa and drinks. "Husband. I heard him." She sat down next to Wufei, handing him the tray and nudging him off the bench. "Duo, you look like yourself again! How did it go?" "Sally, you look gorgeous! Is that slimy lizard taking good care of you and my un-godchild?" He waggled his eyebrows at her. Look ma; no pain!
"He is trying his best," she sighed theatrically. "And we are doing fine. Except for the sore feet thing. And the aching back." She shrugged. "What the hell; it's only a couple more months. Now, answer my question, Maxwell."
"It went fine. Doctor Fang was great - he sends his regards, by the way. He numbed everything and popped the wires right out and then gave me twenty minutes in regen to finish up." He grinned broadly. "I had a half pound cheeseburger an hour later. With onion rings. And Heero's taking me to the Famous Texas Bifuteki Resutoran, Home of the System-Famous Kobe Suteki," he laughed.
"Oooh...! I've heard of that place! I'm jealous! And I want a full report when you get home," she laughed. "How is Heero doing?"
Instead of answering, he yelled over the top of the phone. "Hey stud! Doc wants to know how you're doing!"
"I'm doing wonderful," came Heero's voice. "I'd show you, but I'm naked and I doubt if Wufei would approve."
Sally laughed delightedly. "To hell with him! I wanna see!"
And instant later Heero's face appeared, upside-down, at the top of the screen. "All healed," he smirked, tapping the fading scar on his cheek. "And the cast comes off day after tomorrow."
The doctor pouted. "Oh, so not fair Yuy!"
"You see enough of me when I'm really injured, Po."
"This is true," she smirked. "Duo says you're taking him to that steak place; you're a good husband."
Heero rolled his eyes, still hanging over the top of the phone. "Right. A Texas-themed Kobe beef restaurant on L1; will wonders never cease." He disappeared and Duo returned.
"Gotta go, Sally; our reservation is in forty-five minutes. You guys take care. We'll be home in about two weeks; don't let Wuffers go back to work without us," he laughed. "And make him rub your feet!"
"Oh, I do! Have fun; eat some deep-fried mushrooms for me. Bye." She signed off.
"Speaking of..." began Wufei, patting the sofa next to him. Sally settled herself comfortably and plopped her feet in his lap.
"Rub, lackey," she commanded and reached for the chips and salsa as he began massaging her feet. "Ahhhh... I could get used to this," she sighed. "How many kids did you say you wanted?"
OWARI Back to PlaidDragon's Fanfictions Page