Fire in the Hole Part 21
Satisfied with the way his solitary workouts were going, Duo soon engaged the other pilots to help him. He worked on strategy with Quatre. Trowa helped him to increase his flexibility. With Wufei, he practiced increasingly more strenuous katas. He paid close attention to, and willingly took direction from Heero in martial arts and hand to hand combat.
With the latter two, he was careful not to joke or flirt and in acknowledgment, they were a study in detachment. For all of his partners, he traded his own skills as a thief, a picklock and a street fighter.
At the end of a week, he rated himself as 90% back. He wouldn't want to seriously go one on one with Heero or Wufei (when did he EVER have THAT death wish?), but he figured he could give Trowa a decent fight (even win, if he chose to use some of his more underhanded moves) and on strength and agility alone he could beat Quatre.
He took Deathscythe out to a remote area, and spent a day immersing himself in his Gundanium partner's systems and abilities, and was relieved to note that his cockpit moves had suffered very little.
"We've still got it, 'Scythe," he laughed at one point. "Shinigami is still the best!"
During his test runs, in a back corner of his mind, he mulled over his situation.
Who did he love more? (Heero.)
He blew up a chunk of mountain.
Who was more attuned to his needs and moods? (Wufei.)
He decapitated a dead MS.
Who was more romantic? (Wufei.)
He shot straight up at full power.
Who was stronger? (Heero.)
An instant 90-degree right turn.
Who was more forceful? (Heero.)
A twisting barrel roll.
Who treated him better? (Wufei.)
He skimmed the ground to fire a single pinpoint burst.
Who was more fun? (Wufei.)
Deathscythe reeled out a string of machine commands.
Who made him scream like a banshee and beg like a dog? (...Heero...)
He and Deathscythe froze in place, hanging silently on the edge of space.
::Well, shit.::
~*~
::I didn't expect him to ever speak to me again, let alone train with me. Rough, unpolished; he'll never win points for style, but my god can he fight! I'm learning from him! What DO I feel for him? He's smarter than he lets on. He understands the tech manuals as well as Heero. He has quiet moments when he is just so... Do I really care for him? I've learned more about him and I like what I've learned. I like finding him beside me. I like running my fingers through that impossible hair. It was supposed to be a favor to Quatre and a way to get them back together. I like kissing him. I like holding him. I like that thing he does. He has to choose. He'll choose Heero, of course he will. He loves Heero and now he knows that Heero loves him. He has to choose Heero. He HAS to! He will choose Heero!::
::Won't he..?::
~*~
::He's actually applying himself! He's never listened to me before when I tried to teach him. He's never come this close to besting me. I was a fool, an idiot, an arrogant bastard to try to order your life, your feelings. Take me back, Duo; please take me back. I will love you forever. I will be good to you. I will be whatever you want me to be. I will be better than Wufei ever was! I need to be at your back again. I want to feel that power during battle. I want to see you grinning on my screen again. I want to hear you laughing. I want to share your madness both during and after our missions... God, he's smiling at Wufei. Smile at me, please let him smile at me! Yessssss!::
::Shinigami, my angel, take me back...::
~*~
"Quatre, have you seen Wufei or Heero?"
"Not for a while. Is there a mission, Duo?"
"Umm... No. I just need to talk to them. Separately."
"Duo! You've made a decision!"
"Well... Yeah. I have."
"Which one?"
"Um, I'd rather --"
"It has to be Heero! Oh, I knew you'd choose him!"
"Quatre..."
"That's wonderful! You two are perfect for each other!"
"I don't --"
"What's going on?"
"He's chosen Heero!"
"Oh? Well, congratulations."
"Will everybody just shut up for a minute!!! Thank you! I'm not telling you, until I talk to them! You aren't involved with this! You guys don't need to know yet!"
"I'm sorry, Duo. You're quite right. Quatre, why don't we go upstairs."
"But Trowa --"
"Upstairs, my love. This is Duo's affair, and he's entitled to conduct it as he chooses."
"Thanks, Trowa..."
"Wufei is on the lawn and Heero is holed up in Wing."
~*~
Heero climbed out onto the roof of the hanger. From that vantage, he could see most of the estate. He could also think undisturbed. Not that Duo ever disturbed him... All his glares, all his silences; none of it was because Duo disturbed him. The more he ignored Duo, the more time he spent trying to get his attention. He... enjoyed... knowing that gorgeous Shinigami would go to such lengths just for him...
::What a jerk you are.::
::Yes...::
::Leaving him twisting in the wind, hoping, wondering, desperate to know how you felt.::
::I didn't want to hurt him... I told myself he would be better off not getting close to me...::
::Lying again.::
::Oh, yes.::
::You just liked seeing him beg.::
::He wears his emotions for anyone to see...::
::Anyone but you.::
::I saw...::
::And..?::
::I... didn't know how...::
::Bullshit.::
::I was afraid.::
::Better.::
::I was trying to be...::
::Perfect.::
::...Yes...::
::What do you want to be now?::
::I... don't know... Wait, yes I do. I want to be his.::
::And if he chooses Wufei?::
::I... I'll accept it.::
::And self-destruct at the earliest opportunity.::
::No! That would hurt him! I will not hurt him again!::
Heero looked down on the lawn. Wufei was doing his routine again. Duo approached from the house, hailing the Chinese youth. Heero lay flat to avoid being noticed.
Heads close, they murmured together. Duo ran his hand up and down Wufei's bare arm and Wufei stroked his hair, playing with his braid. He couldn't read their lips from this angle, but their intimacy suggested the worst. Wufei took Duo in his arms then, and kissed him deeply. Duo didn't try to pull away, instead laying his arms around Wufei's neck.
Heero squeezed his eyes shut until it hurt. When he looked again, they were gone.
::Well, there you go.::
He nodded to himself, then said aloud, "'Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...'"
~*~
Duo stepped into the hanger and looked around. A couple of the techs were working on Sandrock and a group of Maguanacs gathered near their own MS. He turned in their direction, but caught a movement in his peripheral vision. Heero ducked out of Wing's cockpit and climbed down the gantry.
::Get it over with,:: he sighed inwardly.
::Might as well.::
He faced Duo from a few meters away. "Were you looking for me?"
Color high and violet eyes wide with nervousness, Duo clasped the end of his braid in his hands. "Yes, I was," he said quietly, his eyes never leaving Heero's.
"I wanted to talk to you. I've already spoken with Wufei," he began, and Heero flinched. He couldn't help it; the mention of Duo's choice was like a slap across his face. "I... I care very much for Wufei, Heero. He was kind to me when I needed kindness. He gave me companionship and affection and... and tenderness when I was going to pieces. He kept me from... He stopped me..." He paused to take a deep breath and let it out again. "He distracted me from eating a bullet or cutting my throat."
The color drained from Heero's face. His heartbeat echoed thunderously in his ears. A chill worse than Arctic winter swept through him and settled in his bones. His soul howled its anguish. Never in his worst nightmares had he entertained the idea that Duo would kill himself over a broken affair. He opened his mouth, to say something, anything, but Duo waved him to silence.
"You couldn't have known," he said huskily. "J did his best to dehumanize you, for your own safety and sanity. He had you for a lot longer than G had me." Duo shrugged and shook his head. "I just want to explain how much it hurt me, to know that you didn't care, that everything between us was smoke and mirrors. It didn't stop me loving you, though. And Wufei recognized that. He was willing to care for me, knowing that I didn't care for him the same way. Wufei is a terrific guy, Heero."
He heard himself respond shakily, "Yes, he is."
Duo dropped his eyes then with a sigh. "That's why it's taken me so long to work this out. I love you and you left me. I care for Wufei and... and he cares for me."
::Here it comes...::
"But he also understands my feelings. And he was gracious and caring when I told him that I loved you and wanted you back. He wished us every happiness." He stopped, watching Heero from behind his long bangs.
Heero stared at him.
'I care for Wufei and he cares for me.' Yes, he said that...
'He also understands my feelings.' That was in there, too.
'Gracious and caring.' Check.
'I loved you and wanted you back.' Okay.
'He wished us every happiness...' Yeah.
'I loved... YOU... and wanted YOU back...' Uhhh...
'HE (Wufei!) wished US (Duo and I!!!) every happiness.' Ohmigod!
Heero stared at him; his midnight eyes glazed as his brain attempted to process the correct placement of pronouns in Duo's words.
"Heero? Do you still..?" began Duo hesitantly. Stunned silence was not what he expected. ::If he hits me, I'm gonna KILL him!::
"You... want... me..?"
"Um, yeah..."
"You... still... love... me..."
"That's what I said." Now, this was definitely different...
"Wufei... stepped... aside... graciously..."
Duo sighed. He'd expected more than a mental meltdown after Heero's vocal and territorial declarations of the past days. Like maybe a kiss?
"Yes, Heero. He's a good guy." Did I make some weird mistake here?
"Yes... Yes, he is a good guy..." He blinked and suddenly lunged forward to grab Duo's arms. "You really want me back?! After the way I treated you?! The way I hurt you?!"
Duo drew back, startled, but didn't try to escape Heero's grip. "I love you," he said simply. "I think -- I hope -- that you've changed. That you'll love me back. Am I wrong?"
"Are you WRONG?!?!?! Hell, NO!!! I mean YES! I mean - Fuck it!" He wrapped his arms around Duo, bent him back and kissed him as hard and as deep as he could, until Duo began to squirm and pound on his back. He broke away, panting, and Duo gasped, sucking in air.
"You DO love me," he wheezed. "You almost suffocated me!"
"Sorry. YES, I DO love you! Take a breath; I'm going to do it again!"
"Hee --"
::YEEEEHAH!!! MINE!!! MINE!!! Mineminemine! All MINE!!!::
~*~
Quatre snuggled in Trowa's arms in the window seat of the huge kitchen, feeling rather smug about guessing correctly.
"He had to pick Heero. He might care for Wufei, but he doesn't love him. And Wufei certainly doesn't love him!"
"Hmmm..."
"Do you think I'm wrong, Trowa?" He frowned at his love's lack of enthusiasm.
"No, my love, just not entirely correct." He brought the teapot over to refill Quatre's cup.
"Oh? In what way?" he'd begun, when Wufei walked into the kitchen, his duffel over his shoulder.
"A mission?" inquired Trowa.
Wufei shook his head. He pulled a few items from the cupboards, stowing them in his bag. "I'm going to take a ride. By the way, thank you, Quatre, for the motorcycle."
"You're welcome..." replied Quatre uneasily. "I did promise, for your help with Duo and Heero."
"Yes, you did."
Trowa looked at Wufei's bag. "Is the timing of this ride coincidental to their reunion?"
Wufei shrugged silently.
"Everything is fine now," said Quatre with forced brightness. "You needn't leave because of them. We're all friends again." He would feel a lot better right now if Wufei would rant and curse in his usual fashion. His taciturn avoidance was more Heero's style.
"Yes, we are. We have all kissed and made up." He shouldered the bag.
"You didn't expect him to choose you, did you?" Quatre asked slowly, bewildered.
"No. Why should he? He loves Heero and Heero loves him. This is the way it should be. My attentions were simply a means to the desired end." He paused with his hand on the doorknob. "And they will live happily ever after."
"Or as long as any of us can expect to live." Trowa shifted Quatre off his lap and stood up.
"Yes, that is true."
Trowa touched Wufei's shoulder. "Why are you going now, Wufei?"
Wufei's usually rigid posture changed almost imperceptibly. "Because," he whispered, and only Trowa heard him, "I wanted him to choose me. Because I've found... I've found that I... love him." In a normal voice, he said, "Because they'll drive me crazy with their noise. I'll be back in a few days. I have my notebook and cellphone and I'll check in." With that, he opened the door and left.
Trowa and Quatre watched from the windows until they heard his new motorcycle roar to life and vanish into the late afternoon.
"Trowa... Is he coming back?" asked Quatre as he encircled Trowa's waist and laid his head against his shoulder. He hadn't heard what Wufei said, but he could guess. More fallout from his abysmal stupidity. Would it ever end?
Trowa turned, wrapping his golden angel in a hard embrace. "Yes. When he has mended his own heart." Quatre's face lit up and he opened his mouth to speak. Trowa silenced him with a kiss instead.
"No, you will not," he breathed a few minutes later. "He needs no help from you. However, I DO need your help." He steered Quatre toward the doors. "I'm having a terrible time juggling my balls alone."
OWARI
Back to PlaidDragon's Fanfictions Page