A word of caution here....
I am not a "believer" of any particular organized religion. To my mind, organized religion causes more problems than it solves. I do, however, know perfectly lovely, intelligent and reasonable people who are totally happy with their particular chunk of organized religion, and who would never in a million years dream of inflicting that religion on others. On the other hand, yes; I do have first-hand knowledge of and experience with some thoroughly diseased, less-than-pretty branches of the god tree and the followers of the same, who would be perfectly thrilled to cut your head off if you disagree with them.
If you find my attitude here to be less than reverential, sorry, but oh well.
End word of caution....
The Chibi Problem Part 31
I had a while to get used to the idea of a date; it wasn't until the long weekend. I spent most of that time firmly ignoring the whole thing. I've been to unit parties before; if enough families show up, it's usually a pretty nice day. EOD is generally a pretty tight-knit bunch, so I decided to assume the best.
In the meantime, I had plenty of other stuff to play with. We had pretty well mastered the domestic side of the house, the kitchen and laundry appliances, so the Chibis moved on to learning the ins and outs of electronic equipment - how to use remotes and how to change DVDs and CDs and tapes without leaving claw marks on sensitive surfaces - what it meant when the smoke alarm chirped or screeched; how to handle automatic garage door openers and gates; door bells or buzzers, intercoms, walkie-talkies, cell phones, real phones, pagers; you name it, I found a way to expose them to it. I even managed to get BabyDoll and Happy into a local recording studio so that they could study the various mixing boards.
Ah, you're laughing! What could a Chibi possibly do with a mixing board, you ask. Well, I have no answer to that, but somewhere out there could be a person who mixes music who might have need of a small, intelligent and adaptable companion. You just have to think outside the box here.
Over the last couple of years, I've learned that these little guys share information and pick each others brains like furry little search engines. If my grand idea ever gets off the ground, they'll be ready for anything.
About three weeks after the fire, Teola asked me to go with her out to the house. Well, to what was left of the house. She said she wanted someone who could be both sympathetic and no-nonsense. I think really she just wanted to vent to someone who had an alternate viewpoint.
I've been drifting in and out of the so-called gay community for a number of years. I belong to some of the "friends of" groups and I've volunteered off and on for different events and groups. I'm comfortable there. I'm not a lesbian and I'm not a fag hag; I just like the slightly skewed people I've met. Over time, I've become a familiar face, someone who will willingly answer whatever 'whatthefuck' questions some of the community have about the straight world. Even though my answer to "what the fuck?!" is usually "damned if I know" a lot of people seem to feel like they can vent to me about the mean-spirited, lunatic and just plain stupid behavior of some straight people in reference to the gay community. It's generally safer than unleashing the same frustration on parents, co-workers and total strangers, so I don't mind. I usually agree with them, and if I don't, I can at least offer an alternate perspective. Hey, it ain't easy being different.
We parked on the road, the asphalt driveway still being littered with debris and badly pocked by the fire, and walked down to where the concrete foundation sat, lonely and worn like an empty plate.
"You gonna rebuild?" I asked in the stillness. Teola was leaning against a stanchion that had once protected a corner of the garage.
"Yeah. No. I don't know..." She sounded almost lost. Not a situation I have ever associated with Teola.
She retired from police work six months after meeting Ruthie; she said once that she wouldn't make Ruthie worry about whether she would be coming home every night. She's now the head of security for a high-tech R&D company. They were damn lucky to get her and if they'd hired her three months earlier, they might not have been as badly burned by a ripping good case of industrial espionage as they had been.
'Lost' is not a state that suits Teola.
"Haven't decided," I clarified for her. Okay; no surprise there. It's pretty traumatic having your home burned practically out from under you. "You could probably get a good price for the land. Insurance?"
"Oh, yeah. No problem there. Just... This is so far out... If it happens again..."
"Plan for it. Build with that in mind. Sprinklers. A gravity cistern. Fire retardant landscaping. Talk to the fire department; get their suggestions. Then get an architect who will build everything in."
"Yeah..." She didn't need me to make these suggestions; I wondered what she really wanted from me. "If we moved into town, it would be safer, but... we came out here so that Ruthie could have..." She shrugged.
Most cities consider Chibis to be animals, like cats and dogs. There are ordinances restricting how many you can have at any one time. Breeders are required to have special permits and to get one of those, you often have to petition the City Council and go before a hearing board. If your neighbors object -- and some idiot will; it's guaranteed - then no permit.
So I guess I'm there as a Chibi authority. Teola wants to know what I think the chances are of getting Ruthie to give up some of her Chibis and move into town, where it would be safer.
"About as good as a snowball in hell," I snorted in answer to the unasked question.
She sighed heavily. "Kinda figured that. She really loves those little guys." She pushed away from the stanchion to walk over to the naked slab. "I was thinking... Ruthie's going to be in therapy for a while. She won't be able to do a lot of things around the house. Maybe we should put off the rebuilding until she's better."
I could feel the glee lighting up inside of me. I walked over and draped an arm around her shoulders. "Teola, old girl, let me enlighten you..."
I explained about the Chibis and what they had learned and what they were capable of. She gave me the usual look; the one that wonders how quickly can the straitjacket get here if I call in a 5150?
"Look," I said finally; "You got anything better to do Saturday afternoon?"
"Well... No. Ruthie sleeps in the afternoon; I guess I could come over then," she allowed.
I gave her a squeeze. "All right then. So, got any ideas about what you want here?"
She gave me a sidelong glance as I wandered over to the back steps. "Well, the place was kind of small. We'd been toying with adding a second story. Maybe a master bedroom suite. Turn the downstairs bedroom into an office."
"Sounds good. What about the kitchen? Ruthie likes to cook."
"So do I... Maybe a combination dining room and kitchen," she said thoughtfully. "And maybe a bigger garage; one with room for storage and the laundry. And for Ruthie's car." Ruthie's car was lost in the fire.
"Get her something nice with the insurance," I suggested. Ruthie had confessed to me once upon a time that she had always wanted a sports car, but it seemed so impractical, so decadent.
"We were planning on getting a fun car," Teola said softly. "Ruthie's a great driver; she's wasted on the van. I thought I'd check into something like a Subaru to replace the van, and then see about something more sporty just because."
"She'd love it," I said warmly. "Especially coming from you."
"She'll be shocked at the extravagance." She kicked at a rock. "I don't care though. We can afford it. I damn near lost her... If she was the type to wear them, I'd smother her in diamonds and furs; a new car will make her happier." She looked up at me. "One that she can carry all her Chibis in."
I grinned and laughed and kept wandering, throwing out suggestions and ideas. I'd have her building a Chibi-friendly house without even realizing it.
~*~
Teola showed up on Saturday just as she'd promised she would. Berber opened the door for her and bounced into her arms before she much more than registered that he had opened the door.
"Geez," she laughed. "Hang on, Berber! I know you miss Ruthie, but she's not with me."
Berber chattered at her and then hugged her.
"He knows where Ruthie is," I said as I came out of the kitchen. "He's glad to see you."
Teola gave me the look; the one that suggests I'm a few grams short of a kilo. "Right."
I just grinned at her. The gundam and I were about to upend her comfortable view of the world.
"Have a seat," I offered, directing her to the sofa. "Want a soda?"
"Sure. Diet Coke, if you have it." She settled back with Berber on her lap.
I turned toward the kitchen. "Diet Coke, Kanbu," I called, leaning against the bar. A moment later the refrigerator opened, closed, and Kanbu sailed into the living room with a can of coke in a sling beneath him.
I should have had my camera out. Teola's jaw nearly landed on her shoes. Kanbu landed gently - we'd done examples of what happens when soda cans are jostled in flight or upon landing - and lifted the can from its sling and presented it to Berber. The little quatre wrapped one arm around the top and popped the tab more smoothly than I do. He held it out to Teola.
She took it automatically, still staring slack-jawed at Ruthie's Chibis.
"How in the hell...?"
"You know, I keep telling people how great these little guys are, but you all keep treating me like I'm feeble-minded," I said. BabyDoll swooped across the room to land on Teola's shoulder. She jumped and looked askance at my Chibi.
"Shiiiiii! No oiiiii! Moi loooo!" he snapped, hands on his hips indignantly.
"What the hell!"
"He doesn't like you thinking I'm crazy," I smirked. A moment later the room was filled with Chibis; the gundam ranged around the walls with my Chibis and Ruthie's Chibis in the center. Ruthie's were the only ones unarmed.
"Are those... weapons?" Teola stared wide-eyed at my little... guardians.
I reached down to pick up Seduces Humans; he trilled at me, flashing his purple eyes, and then returned to staring at Teola.
"Yep. Wild Chibis are armed. BabyDoll's mates are wild, so his babies are also armed."
"But..." She looked at Berber and Kanbu. "They don't..."
I shrugged. "They chose not to. They're already grown and thoroughly domestic, but the babies are now packing." BabyDoll reeled off a string of chirps and trills. "He says it's not fair for them to be helpless. See, that's the thing here. Chibis are not just animals. They're another form of intelligent, thinking, reasoning life. The domestic ones just don't know any different. But I've got a whole gundam of wild Chibis living in my yard, and it's been a hell of an education." I petted SH, then kissed the top of his auburn head and set him down.
"The first thing I learned is that Chibis get really attached to their 'mommies'. And they like being helpful. And they're curious and intelligent. And if you really listen to them, you can understand them. I think they're telepathic."
She took a swallow of Coke automatically, still regarding me as if I'd lost my mind.
"Want a snack?" I asked. She nodded, probably without even thinking. "Berber, I think Other Mommie needs a little more convincing."
~*~
Two hours later I was fairly sure that Teola was on the same page with me. Not the same sentence or even the same paragraph, but the same page at least.
Ruthie's Chibis had arranged themselves - chibits too - into a little platoon on the floor in front of Teola. Berber, as the default alpha of the little domestic gundam, was chattering and gesturing in an effort to explain to Teola that they all understood that Ruthie had been injured and that they wished to help take care of her, the way she had taken care of them for so long. Teola stared at the elegant little Quatre, her head nodding up and down automatically, even though it was clear to me and to Berber that she had no clue.
Berber finished up with a sigh and looked at me, his obvious frustration begging me to translate.
"You heard all that, right?" Teola looked at me. Stunned is too bold a word for her expression. Shocked doesn't work either. Maybe dumbfounded is closer. She nodded automatically again.
"Okay. They want to help take care of Ruthie. They understand that she was badly hurt by the fire and that she will need help to do things for a long while until everything heals. They want to help. They can bring food and drinks; they can bring the telephone; they can use the computer, do laundry, wash dishes or load the dishwasher. They will help in any way they can because Ruthie is Mommie and they love her." Berber cooed out a soft "kiiiiind". "And they love you too, and want you to feel better also."
Teola swallowed. "He said... all that...?"
"Actually, he said quite a bit more about love and loyalty and family, but this is the Reader's Digest version. We're not kidding, Teola. We're talking about basic daily care here; the kind of thing that costs thousands of dollars to hire, if you can even find someone you trust. You can't stay home for the next six months, and we both know that Ruthie will have a fit if you try. The Chibis are part of your family; you are part of their gundam. Berber and his boys will take as good a care of Ruthie as they would their chibits."
Her head bobbed again. "But... what about germs and infections...?"
Berber took off on another assurance that Teola would find them to be just as clean as humans. His tone suggested that he was mildly insulted that she had brought that up.
Domestic Chibis are scrupulously clean little critters. The only time I bathe BabyDoll is when he has a show; otherwise he is almost obsessive about being clean on his own time. He scrubs his chibits a couple times a day and has definite preferences in soaps. BabyDoll prefers the body washes and really likes the raspberry or spring rain scents. The feral Chibis don't bathe that often because it's difficult to find enough free water to immerse in, but they have other ways of staying clean. BabyDoll's mates have learned to use the "wishful water" as they call the sinks, and they do bathe once a day. The rest of the gundam manage to get in baths a couple times a week. They've even gotten over their distrust of the soap, reason enough for me to buy body wash by the case load at Costco.
So, yeah, the idea of Chibis carrying germs is pretty funny and even a little insulting.
"They're as clean as you are," I laughed. "Maybe cleaner; they don't go sticking their hands into half the stuff that we do."
Berber smirked at us. Kanbu snorted; he already knows he's cleaner than most humans. I love the heeros; they're so self-assured. They just know they are superior to any other life forms.
"You... you really believe this, don't you?" she said after a long silence.
"Look around you, Te; does it look like I'm joking?"
~*~
I paused outside Ruthie's room when I heard voices from inside. Berber and I were on our usual Sunday afternoon visitation run; he was eager to tell Ruthie that he and his boys wanted to help her to get better. I kind of wanted to see if Teola might have mentioned it last night. She was still looking distinctly shell-shocked when she left my house.
Teola's not stupid; she'll come around eventually. And probably kick herself for not recognizing it sooner.
I stayed back from the door; eavesdropping really isn't my style, but I was curious to see who the voice belonged to. It wasn't Teola and the tone didn't sound like a nurse or doctor. I found out when voices were raised and the visitor stormed out of the room, almost running me down.
Ruthie's oldest daughter stomped out of the room, snarling her parting remark to her mother.
"You'll burn in hell; that's what you'll do! God gave you a warning with the fire; that's what's waiting for you and that disgusting pervert you keep company with!"
I firmed up my stance since she wasn't looking where she was going, and I did not intend to be the one to give ground. Sure enough, she slammed into my side and bounced off. Have I ever mentioned that I am not a small woman? I am quite capable of being the immovable object when I want to be.
Any other time, I would have ripped her a new one, making sure to point out that the pastor of her much vaunted church had been investigated twice for child molestation, so she had no call to be flinging accusations. However, I could hear Ruthie crying and Berber was freaking out in my tote bag, so I took the high road.
"Fuck you, Meredith," I growled. "You still whoring for Jesus?" Her church, and her father's, is a weird off-shoot of an off-shoot of something that got run out of town - literally - years ago. There are some pretty credible rumors of sexually nasty stuff going on between adults and kids in the church, all in the name of "Jesus". They are on the watch list of several law enforcement agencies, but so far no one's been able to prove anything. My money's on the rumors, though. Ruthie's ex-husband is a sick, vicious chunk of pond scum and no one in their right mind would trust him to raise four kids except a rabidly homophobic family court judge.
Meredith either didn't have a script or the Bible in her hand opened to the right passage, I guess, because the best she could manage was, "You'll get yours too, jezebel!" And she almost ran down the hallway to the elevators. I watched for a moment to make sure she got on the elevator.
Berber was almost hissing at me, he was so anxious to get to Ruthie, but he was being a good boy and not showing himself where anyone could see him. I patted him and whispered that he needed to calm down so he could be of help to Ruthie. The little guy took several deep breaths and then turned those big aqua eyes my way, and we went to see Ruthie.
"Ruthie?" I said when we entered the room. "I ran into Meredith. Are you okay?" It's a stupid question, I know, but it seems to be an automatic social habit upon finding someone sobbing into a handful of tissues.
And Ruthie did what people always do: she nodded and managed to choke out "I'm fine."
"Yeah; right," I muttered. I opened the bag and Berber popped out like he was spring-loaded, scurrying over my arm to the bed and straight to Ruthie's shoulder where he wrapped his arms around her neck and began to thrum.
I have a theory about the Chibi thrum... I think it's done on a frequency that works on stress levels in humans. It's calming and soothing and just makes people feel better while it's resonating with their own internal rhythms.
I gave her a couple minutes with Berber and went to refill her water carafe. I met a nurse coming back.
"What just happened here?" she growled at me.
"Whoa!" I said immediately, raising my hand. "Not me; her daughter. I bumped into her - literally - on her way out."
"That was her daughter?!" she said incredulously. "Good lord!"
I shrugged. "Yeah, well, she takes after her father."
She frowned narrowly. "He was here a week or so ago. Pompous ass. I was about to have him removed when he finally went."
"Yeah. I think I'll talk to Ruthie about restricting her visitors."
The nurse snorted. "Please do; I'd hate to have to add to my workload by throwing one of them out a window."
It hadn't been done before because Ruthie is not the kind of person who would presume to barge into someone's hospital room and harass them, and therefore would not be likely to think of anyone doing that to her. Teola hadn't done it, because she didn't feel comfortable forbidding Ruthie's kids from coming to see her if they wanted to.
Ruthie has done her best to stay in her kid's lives since she lost custody six years ago, but the kids don't appreciate it. I think that's why she has Chibis, to fill the void left when she lost the kids.
Berber was certainly doing his best to make up for that freaking jackass Meredith, thrumming like a diesel engine and petting Ruthie's face and making the usual quatre chirpy noises.
I poured out a glass of water, stuck a straw in it and set it on the table so she didn't have to try to hold it in her bandaged hands.
I didn't mention Meredith again. I gave her a few minutes to get a drink, blow her nose, wipe her eyes and get Berber cuddled on her collarbone, then I told her about the ideas Teola had for the new house. I threw in a few suggestions of my own; some ideas for the enrichment of little Chibi-lives.
When she was sufficiently relaxed, I began explaining about Berber and the boys and the training they'd been getting.
She stared at me when I explained some of the things they could do to help her out over the next few months.
"But... But how did they learn all this?" she asked finally, looking bewildered.
I wasn't sure if she'd buzz for a net, but I figured screw it, and went ahead anyway.
"Ruthie, the Chibis are not dumb animals. They are intelligent; when you give them a chance, they think and plan and learn almost the way humans do. They can be taught to do things, and they will take what they've learned and pass it on to other Chibis. You're their mommie; they want to take care of you, the way you take care of them. They understand the concept of time, they get how the range and the microwave work; Ruthie, I think they can even read after a fashion. I've seen them looking at packages and then doing what the instructions say." She just stared at me, petting Berber's golden hair lightly. He had his sharp little blue eyes fastened on me and was nodding and muttering agreement along with his thrumming.
"Ruthie, I'm not trying to scare you, but these guys love you; they will protect you with their lives, more than any dog ever could, because they can assess a threat better than any dog. They'll be there for you when Teola is at work; they'll make sure you eat, they'll do the laundry, load the dishwasher and run it, change the channels on the TV, make the bed and water the spider plant!"
Berber cocked an eyebrow at me and I spoke to him directly. "It's the one with the long green and white leaves, with the miniature spiders dangling from stalks."
He brightened and chirped his understanding, then turned to Ruthie. "Moooiiii," he trilled. "Moooiii looo."
I smirked at Ruthie's "awwww" expression. "See? You understand him; you just don't realize it. Start believing that he really is saying what you think he's saying and it'll get easier." I laid my hand on her shoulder. "Let them help you."
She blinked at me then looked down at Berber. "Berber? What do you think about this?" It was half hope, half humoring me. Berber took it as an invitation to rock and roll.
"Chuuuu! Moooiii looo! Kiiiind! Hoooome!"
Okay; that last was a new one on me. Berber wanted to go home with her. He moved up to sit on her shoulder and began a litany of the duties that he and the boys were prepared to perform, from doing the laundry to cooking omelets for breakfast. Ruthie finally had to blink at me.
"He can... sort the bills...? He said 'sort the bills'. How does he even know what bills are?"
"Oh, they know. They've hung around watching me write checks and do the on-line payment thing. They understand that there are services that I have to pay for every month. They're a little fuzzy on the concept of credit cards, but I've noticed that a lot of otherwise intelligent human beings are fuzzy about credit cards, so I can't hold that against them. If you bank on-line, Ruthie, they'll help you pay the bills." I grinned at her expression. "Think about it; your fingers need never touch the keyboard."
She swallowed. "Oh...my..." She looked down at Berber. "You really understand me?" she asked hesitantly. He bobbed his head in an enthusiastic "yes!" "But I've had Chibis for years... Why didn't I...? Why don't more people... know about this...?"
"I'm betting that a lot of people do know about this, but they're afraid to 'know-know' about it. Maybe they're afraid people will think they're crazy. Maybe they think they're crazy! People tend to see, hear and believe what they want to; what they expect to. My next-door neighbor still doesn't want to believe that he talked to BabyDoll on the cellphone to get directions on where to find me when I got attacked. He knows he did, but it just upsets his world too much right now to believe it." I sat back lacing my fingers together over my knee. "So, Ruthie... Can you believe another impossible thing before breakfast tomorrow?"
She looked at me. She looked at Berber. Then back at me, and uttered a well-known tag line. "I want to believe..."
I grinned. "Then do. You'll see when you get out of here. Your babies are gonna take care of you."
TBC...
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