The Chibi Problem Part 12
BabyDoll chose to stay with me that night. In fact, he spared barely a glance at the two pathetically pouting alphas. I felt sorry for the little guys, so I made sure to take them food and water when I made dinner.
BabyDoll and I had baked beans and cornbread and pineapple dump cake after. Killer appeared on the chair arm while we were watching a "When Nature Attacks" program on Discovery, and attempted to coax BabyDoll back to the nest.
Angel was sitting on the terrace outside the nest watching with interest.
At first, the little mommie ignored his mate, but eventually persistence paid off and he turned his attention to the handsome wufei.
And knocked him right off the chair onto the floor.
Serenely, BabyDoll went back to watching the videos of tornadoes ripping apart trailer parks.
Angel snickered behind his hands. No wonder he hadn't made the attempt.
Killer bounced back to his feet and let loose a string of sounds that had to be chibi-curses.
BabyDoll ignored him.
And that was the way it went for three days. One of the alphas would try to coax BabyDoll back to the nest; one of the alphas would be ignored or physically rejected. They didn't seem to be angry about it, which was a relief to me, just damned persistent.
If I had thought they might hurt my little doll, I wouldn't have gone to work. By the weekend, things began to take on a different tone.
Angel fluttered in from outside bearing several large ripe raspberries. He didn't attempt to approach BabyDoll, instead leaving the berries on the "terrace" of the nest. BabyDoll spared a glance that direction before snuggling into the crook of my arm. A while later, Killer bounced out of the room and was back in a matter of minutes with a brightly colored doily. He folded it carefully and placed it next to the berries. BabyDoll raised his head to watch curiously.
I think someone is trying to get your attention, I murmured after the third trip produced an armload of violet pansies.
He snorted and shrugged his shoulders dismissively, but I noticed that he was keeping an eye on the growing mound of offerings.
Over an hour later, the magic number of bribes or the size of the pile seemed to have been met. BabyDoll stood on my leg and yawned, stretched his arms and his wings, then hugged me, thrumming against my neck. Then he launched into the air to cruise lazily over to the nest. He inspected the offerings carefully while Angel and Killer watched avidly from the entrance to the nursery.
At last he took up the doily, swirling it around his shoulders, gathered up the raspberries and strode into the nursery as his husbands stood aside and heaved twin sighs of bliss.
BabyDoll apparently approved of not only their tokens, but their care of the eggs as well, by the sound of the soft rumbling coming from the nest. The alphas disappeared within and I changed the channel to "When Good Pets Go Bad."
~*~
Visits from the gundam were next. For the next thirty-two days, we had a seemingly constant stream of chibis from the slider to the nest and back, with the occasional side trip to the refrigerator.
DeathSky had become in locum parentis to BabyDoll, it seemed. He and his mate, the sleek and lovely wufei, spent much of their day with my little firecracker. Call it anthropomorphic wishful thinking if you must, but I think they missed their baby, who had gone with his mate to form the new gundam.
The whole thing brought to mind the concept of communal parenting. Even the chibits and the juveniles came to visit.
The bright little duo, along with his sleepy quatre brother, came every day. I worry about the young quatre, because he seems to have absolutely no recognition of what's going on around him. Every time I see him, he's in a dreamy fog.
But his bright-eyed and bouncy brother sees everything, so I guess he's okay. I named them Happy and Sleepy; I figured I couldn't rightly call them anything else.
Their nervous parents came with sometimes, and even let me get close, though I didn't try to touch them. Once, the little quatre, apparently bored, crawled up onto my leg and fell asleep there. When it came time to leave, Happy just swooped down, gathered him up and swooped back outside.
That's just weird, I said to DeathSky, who watched benevolently. What would happen if a cat or a coyote caught him when he was asleep?
DeathSky rumbled a laugh and suggested gently that I'd obviously never seen a disturbed quatre. I wouldn't like it, he assured me, and neither did the predators who had been unfortunate enough to disturb one.
Yeah, maybe.
~*~
The clock on the face of the VCR read 0357. Something wet was sliming my cheek. I put my hand up to wipe it away and encountered a tiny, warm body. I sat straight up.
Whatthefuck?!
"Shiiiii..." came a tiny squeak.
I reached for the light over the bed, trying not to move out of fear of... something. As the illumination flooded the room I looked down and saw the scariest, most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life.
A newly hatched chibit shivered on my pillow, its miniature wings spread out to dry.
First thought: holy shit...
Second thought: BABYDOLL?!?!?! Where the fuck are you?!?!?!
Third thought: is this the only one, or did I -- Goddess forbid! -- LAY on one?!
After all that thinking, only one sound emerged. I screamed.
Three seconds later, Killer and Angel were on either side of me, heavily armed and looking for intruders.
I pointed at the baby. Where are the other two? I yelled. Why is he in here? Where is BabyDoll?
Angel stowed his weapons, took the chibit, cuddling it gently, and gave me a reproachful look.
"Omae..." he muttered. "Ninmu, ninmu." He shook his head and rolled his eyes.
A moment later, BabyDoll sailed in carrying the baby heero, which he handed to Killer. He paused for a few seconds to give his hysterical mommie a pat on the arm, then sailed out again.
Why aren't you all in the nest? I demanded, and Killer glared at me disdainfully.
"Onna! Kisama! Injustice! Clean bed!"
Okay, I may have misheard the last, but that was the image his crisp cries produced.
Then BabyDoll was back with the little wufei. He prodded me until I put out my hand, then he laid his baby in my palm and returned once again to the living room.
But -!
He was so tiny... And he was wet and cold. I pulled the blankets up to make a nest in my lap and laid him in it. I snagged a t-shirt from the chair and used it to dry him off. He squirmed a little and squeaked and Killer climbed into my makeshift nest to trade the little heero for his own now-dry son. Angel was next, although he seemed reluctant to give up the baby duo, and wanted him back as soon as I had finished drying him.
Little Cat popped onto the bed to stick her nose curiously into the midst of all this, and promptly got said nose smacked with the flat blade of a katana. She gave an indignant "mmrrrpt!" and left.
I don't remember most of what I did after that, but by the time BabyDoll flew in to join us, there was a t-shirt nest on the bed under the covers next to me. Both papas were happily cuddling their offspring, but were delighted when BabyDoll appeared.
He "Shiiiniii-ed sleepily to me, and wrapped his arms around my neck, laying his head on my shoulder for a few minutes. I petted him, swore that he was going to be the best chibi-mommie in the whole world, and kissed the top of his head. Then he snuggled down with his mates and their babies, and soon we were all asleep.
~*~
I had a dream. Unlike the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, mine was not a hopeful dream. It wasn't exactly a nightmare either, although I suppose that depends on which side of it you're on.
My dream involved chibis, juveniles and chibits. Lots of chibits. Lots and lots of chibits. BabyDoll, Killer and Angel were multiplying exponentially. Their babies were having babies, and those babies were having babies. The house was filling up with chibits.
It was a whole lot like the Star Trek episode on Tribbles.
There were chibits in the cupboards, chibits under the furniture, chibits in the bathtub, chibits hanging from the lamps. The walls were beginning to bulge from all the chibits. All of them screaming at the top of their lungs "omae o korosu", "kisama!" and "Shiiiniiigamiiiii!"
And me? I was sitting on the floor, surrounded by chibits, staring and drooling.
I woke up sweating and terrified to move, lest I squash one of the millions of chibits. It took me a good five minutes to calm down and recognise that it was only a dream, and that I only had three chibits to worry about squashing.
That made me look quickly for the nest I'd made during the night. To my relief, all was well. Angel and Killer made a set of parentheses with the babies between them, all of them warm and sleeping. BabyDoll, however, was gone.
I slid out of bed as carefully as I could, and padfooted my way to the living room. The condo was empty, but the covers on all of the pillows had been changed and the whole thing smelled fresh and jasmine-y, as if it had been scrubbed.
"Clean bed" Killer had said; I wondered if this was what he meant. Still didn't explain BabyDoll's whereabouts. I heard some chibi-calls outside, and stepped onto the patio to look.
There was BabyDoll, doing his level best to hang freshly washed laundry on the clothesline, and being assisted (?) by little Happy and another duo. They didn't notice me. I stepped back inside, grabbed the videocam and stuck it out the door. This I wasn't going to miss. The chibers would lose their minds over this.
BabyDoll and Happy were holding the pillow cover against the line and the other duo was doing his best to squeeze the clothespin far enough to get it over the line and the cover while hovering unsteadily. On the ground, a gaggle of grounders cheered them on. I gave it a full minute, in which they managed to pin up two covers, before going to help.
Sweetie! Here, let me do that!
I caught him and the third cover just before they hit the ground. Happy and the other helper landed on the line, panting, their little chests heaving from their efforts. BabyDoll's heart was going furiously and he trembled against me.
"Moiii..." He gave me a look of distress and clutched the cover. "Hooooowaaaa..."
You washed the covers? He nodded. I could have done that, sweetie. I cuddled him and he let out a shuddering sigh.
"Keeeee... Shiii... omae o korosu, kisama, kanryu, kanryu... Shiiiniiigamiiiii... Moiii loiii..."
A fleeting impression of a not-very-pleasant after-hatching mess.
I understand, Baby; birth is messy. You didn't have to do it for me. He relaxed and butted his head against my jaw. But you're very sweet to do it anyway. Did you do any other cleaning?
He lifted his shoulders in a "maybe" gesture.
Damn! You are gonna be a good mommie!
These critters just amaze me! I pinned up the cover and took BabyDoll back inside. Through his chirps and hums, I deduced that there was more laundry and that it was also feeding time for the babies.
You know what to do? I asked, feeling just a bit silly. He must know what to do; he's the mommie. He nodded brightly, and I set him down in the kitchen while I attended to the rest of the laundry. By the time I finished, the microwave was humming and the two papas were on the dining table with BabyDoll and the babies.
What's nuking?
"Chiii..." trilled BabyDoll happily.
Chiii? Okay, that's a new one. I peeked into the nuker and saw scrambled eggs cooking.
You're scrambling eggs for the babies?! I asked in amazement. The books said nothing about this. Even Pete didn't warn me about this!
The microwave finished, and BabyDoll fluttered over to open it and carefully dished the steaming eggs into three doll-sized Tupperware bowls. Then he flew them to the table one at a time and made a fourth trip for the flatware.
I sat down before I fainted and watched as the three parents shoveled scrambled eggs into the three ravenous newborns.
Better than rat, rumbled DeathSky from behind me. I almost fell off the chair.
You gotta be kidding!
He grinned at me and hooted with delight. Domestic, came the picture from his chirrups and thrums; feed baby domestically. Wild feed wild.
Yep; perfect logic. But... rat?! Ick!
Well, I said when I got my voice back; at least they'll have shiny coats...
TBC...
Back to PlaidDragon's Fanfictions Page