Blue Forest Banshee Diversions Part 52
ii kibarashi - What Are You Watching?
Trowa opened the front door and edged in, grocery bags and soda blocks balanced precariously. Wufei was sitting on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table with a pad of paper, a pencil and a soda cup (extra-extra-large). He was intent on the television.
"Hey, lizard," said Trowa from around the bag handles clamped between his teeth. "Little help here, please."
Wufei jumped. "I didn't hear you come in. You're supposed to make some noise, not be creeping around like a thief." He came and took the bag from Trowa's teeth and grabbed the two soda blocks.
"I thought I did," Trowa grumbled. "It took me almost two minutes to get my keys in the door."
"I knew we should have told the landlord to stuff it and installed magical locks," Wufei muttered, following him into the kitchen.
"And she'd have just made us remove them again," Trowa reminded him. "After the Warthollows mess."
"Yeah, yeah." He dropped his burden on the counter and returned to the living room and the TV.
Trowa snorted and rolled his eyes. Next week it would be Wufei's turn to do the shopping and see if he'd give him any help. Lazy lizard.
He put away the shopping and gathered the ingredients for dinner and got that started. The rice would take about twenty minutes, so he turned down the heat on the sweet and sour and went to see what Wufei was so engrossed in. The Were-Dragon wasn't usually such a dedicated TV fan.
He curled onto the floor next to his roommate and glanced at the TV. "What are you watching?" He blinked at the television; blinked again.
"Q asked me to take a look."
Trowa dragged his eyes away from the screen to stare at Wufei. "Say what?"
An annoyed sigh. "Q asked me to take a look at this... stuff and give him my analysis."
"Q asked you to watch porn?!"
"Yes."
Trowa looked back at the screen. "Het porn?!"
"Yes."
"Human het porn?!"
"Yes."
"Why?!"
Wufei rolled his eyes even as he scratched out some notes on the paper. "Because I have more experience."
"With het porn?!" Trowa squeaked. "Is there something you haven't told me?!"
Wufei smacked him on the shoulder. "Shut up! Of course not! He just wanted to know if the female is a succubus."
Trowa stared at him. "And... you have experience with succubae?"
"Yes."
"Since when?!"
Wufei pointed the remote at the screen and paused the DVD. "Since about three years before you started here," he said in exasperation. "Some dickwit of a Wizard summoned a clutch of the things and set up a tidy little blackmail business. I got to know the... girls. And no; you do not need to know the details," he growled. "It suffices that I am extremely familiar with succubae, and Q wanted an expert opinion." He started the DVD again
Trowa blinked at him. "Oh." He looked back at the television. Well, whatever they were, the actors were certainly enthusiastic about their performances. "So, is it a succubus?"
"This one? Probably not."
"This one...?"
Wufei gestured to a stack of DVDs on the floor under the coffee table; there must have been thirty of the things.
Trowa's eyes widened. "Holy crap! You have to watch all those?!"
"Of course not!" Wufei snorted. "I have three left. And I'm not watching; I'm skimming."
"Okay... Um... Have you found any succubae in your skimming?"
"Only seven." He made another note. "But they're in seventeen of the DVDs so far."
"Oh. And what will Q do with this information?"
"Locate them and send them home."
"Ah. So, it's illegal for them to be here?"
"Without a visa; yes. The person who summoned them will be held responsible; they'll probably be fined and barred from summoning any more succubae for a while. They know the rules."
"Why have I never heard about this before?"
"Because most summoners know the rules and abide by them. If they know what's good for them."
"Huh." Trowa returned his attention to the screen, tilting his head slightly in curiosity. "Wow. Flexible." Wufei just snorted.
Trowa made a note to himself to look up the statutes involving sex work when they went into the office next week. And if Wufei thought he could just brush this off...
Ha!
OWARI
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