Blue Forest Banshee Diversions Part 4
Heero finished his quick read-through of Tiffany's report and initialed the top left corner before flicking the rolled parchment into the distribution tray.
A cellular phone trilled across the room and Inazuma reached for it absently.
"Magical Investigations Office," he began automatically. A squawk erupted from the instrument, causing him to jump.
"Um, sir -" he tried as the squawking continued. "Sir? Please sir, you need to calm down. We'll do our best to help you, but -"
The bellow that issued from the tiny piece of Human technology made the Elf hold the phone away from his ear, a look of helpless startlement on his usually cheerful face.
Heero looked up, curious to see if the young Elf could deal with a difficult caller. The usual thing was to give the external phone duty to the Human Wizards and Witches who had experience with the technology, but Heero didn't like having half the staff afraid of or uncertain around Mundane artifacts, so he had instituted a new procedure.
Not that he felt himself to be "in charge" of the office; their only designated supervisor was Q, but the Wizard had duties that reached far beyond investigations, though it was still his favorite, and had every confidence in the people under him to take charge when needed.
"Sir? Please, sir; I can't understand you," the Elf continued, gamely attempting to get through the noises coming from the phone. Finally, he looked to Heero, his expression pleading for rescue.
Heero snorted and came to take the phone. "May I help you?" he growled into it firmly, only to blink as the rush of incomprehensible words poured over him like a tsunami. He turned a baleful eye on Inazuma and pointed to his "out" basket. Inazuma hurried to grab the parchments and folders and scurry from the room.
Relieved of the need to maintain his decorum, Heero returned to the phone.
"Shut up!" he roared into the miniature microphone and the noise stopped. "Much better," he said into the silence. "This is the Magical Investigations Office; may I help you?"
"I- I- Yuy? Heero Yuy?" said the voice from the phone hesitantly.
A familiar voice, Heero thought. ::Where do I know that voice from?::
A relieved sigh from the speaker. "Thank god! This is Dee Latener; we met on that toad demon thing."
Ah! The New York City detectives; this was the dark-haired one, with the smart mouth. He and Duo had met them once since that event, for coffee, when they were in the city. And Duo had had lunch or dinner with Latener's partner, Ryo McLain, several times. The Banshee liked the gentle, part-Japanese cop; they had become... penpals of a sort.
This one now... This one was loud, abrasive, argumentative and sarcastic. Heero found him quite companionable.
"I remember it well, Detective Latener. How may I help you?"
For a man who had been screaming the heavens down a moment before, he now seemed to be at a loss for words.
"I... Jesus! Something -" He drew a harsh breath and Heero imagined him to be taking a long pull on one of his omnipresent cigarettes. "I think I've got a Magical problem! Ryo's gone and -"
Heero returned to his desk and seated himself. "Detective Latener - Dee, just explain slowly; I'll do my best to assist you. You said Ryo is... gone? Gone, how?"
"Gone poof! Vanished from sight in front of a dozen people! I... I wasn't there... I should have been there..."
Yes, going 'poof!' usually involved Magic of some sort.
"Hmm... Let me think a moment," said Heero. "Where was he when this happened?"
"At the intersection of 78th and Fifth Avenue, right across from Central Park."
"In sight of a crowd, you said?"
"Yes." Again the sound of the detective sucking in cigarette smoke. "Nine o'clock in the morning."
Heero turned to the computer and tapped a couple of keys. He examined the screen, then keyed some commands.
Ah-ha! Well, wasn't this interesting.
"I may have the answer to your problem, Detective Latener."
"Already?! Damn, you Wizards are quick!"
"I am not a Wizard, Dee; I am a Wyvern."
"There's a difference?" Heero snorted, but the Human sounded genuinely confused.
"Yes, there is a significant difference. I do not do magic, I am Magic. According to the event database, Ryo may have triggered a portkey. There is -"
"A what?! What the hell is that?" Obviously, patience was foreign to the volatile cop.
Heero sighed, once again wishing that Humans in general were not so inclined to ignore or disbelieve anything that made them uncomfortable.
"A portkey is mass transit for Wizards. They are generally arranged to move large numbers to and from events or locations, to obviate the need to fly or teleport individually. According to the list I have, a portkey was enabled at the corner of 78th and Fifth Avenue in New York City for the purpose of transporting fans to the Quiddich Cup in Tanzania." He paused, waiting for it. He was not disappointed.
"Tanzania?! Ryo's in Tanzania?!"
Heero couldn't quite repress a chuckle. "Apparently. Relax, Dee. Have another cigarette. I'll see what I can do about getting him back."
Heero turned to the brazier next to his desk and flicked a bit of powder into the flames. "Transit, please."
A head appeared almost immediately. "Heero! Nice to see you! It's been a while."
"The pleasure is all mine, Montgomery, but I'm afraid we have a problem."
The thirty-something Wizard frowned warily. "Tell me there hasn't been a complaint."
"Sorry. You have a faulty portkey in New York City. It ported a Mundane Human in error."
The man groaned and clutched at his head. "Not again! I am going to feed Wildomar to the nearest sneetch! This is the fourth time this month she's screwed up an emplacement!" He snatched up a quill and reached for a piece of parchment. "Give me the details." Heero did so. "Good Goddess! A Mundane Human! The poor fellow is probably out of his mind. We are going to be so sued!"
"Mmm... Maybe not," Heero interjected with a smirk.
Montgomery looked hopeful. "You know something?"
Heero's smirk widened to a small grin. "The individual in question is a New York City police detective. Duo and I worked with him and his partner on an investigation a while back. His partner is on the phone right now."
Montgomery swallowed. "He's not going to get ugly about this, is he? Oh Goddess, at least it was an adult this time!"
Heero raised one eyebrow, but held the question for another time. Montgomery looked about ready to self-destruct. "Hang on, please; let me see what kind of deal I can arrange, while you get started on locating Ryo at the Quiddich Cup."
"Oh, Lady! Thank you, Heero! I owe you my first-born!"
"I've met your first-born," replied Heero dryly. "I wouldn't take him for sushi. What part of 'smack on the butt' do you and your wife not understand?"
Montgomery grinned wanly. "It's her whole family. I'll tell her you offered to eat him; maybe it'll help."
"I doubt it," Heero muttered to himself as he returned to the cellphone.
"Dee? How would you feel about a nice weekend in... oh, say, Paris, for you and Ryo, as an apology from the Transit Department?"
"A weekend? On the house? But where's Ryo now?"
"Transit is working on locating him right now." He glanced at the flames to find Montgomery waving frantically, a huge grin gracing his tanned face. "In fact, they may just have him. Hold on."
"Gregor just called to say he'd found a Mundane Human wandering about the stadium looking disoriented. The man's name is Ryo McLain!"
"Outstanding, Montgomery." He touched the phone mute. "Ryo has been located, Dee. He's a bit disoriented, but otherwise fine. Now, Paris; yes, or no?"
"Um... Damn, Heero... You guys are good! Paris, yeah sure! Why not? But how do we -"
"I'll take care of that. Give me your location, and I'll have someone there in 10 minutes."
"Okay... Damn... Thanks Heero... I don't know what I would have done without you..."
"Just have a good time in Paris; send a postcard by owl mail." Heero closed the phone and turned to the flames. "You dodged the bullet this time, Montgomery. I suggest you get rid of that incompetent idiot before you take one between the eyes next time. Oh, your department is picking up the tab for a weekend in Paris for Mr. McLain and his partner, Mr. Latener. All expenses."
"No trouble at all! Do you think they'll enjoy a five-star hotel? Presidential suite?"
"I'm sure they'll love it, Monty," Heero chuckled. He closed the connection and opened another to the teleportation pool. When he had Jake's visage in the flames, he detailed the job, and the Wizard laughed, even as he teleported to Dee's location.
Crisis averted, Heero tilted his chair back and propped his boots on the desk. Sometimes instinct was all it took...
A soft throat clearing made him look around. Standing in the doorway were Duo and Inazuma. Inazuma looked embarrassed, Duo looked rather... smug.
"You big old plushie lizard," Duo trilled. "That was such a sweet thing to do!"
Heero shrugged. "Sweet had nothing to do with it. It was our fault; we made it right."
Duo crossed to drape his arms around Heero's shoulders and kiss his cheek. "Oh, sure, but Paris? Ryo will spontaneously combust!"
"He won't like it?"
"He'll love it! But he'll feel so guilty!"
"Hn. He'll get over it."
"I'm sure he will, with Dee's help." He nuzzled Heero's jaw. "You're still a sweetie."
"If you insist..."
"...I do..."
Inazuma glerped, and scurried from the room, closing the door silently, but firmly behind him.
OWARI
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