Author: Merula
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yaoi, Assassins, Angst
Pairing: 2x1
One Night Sidefic 4
Trust
Duo was late coming down to breakfast. I could hear the water running upstairs and I debated as I put the bread in the toaster if I should go up to him.
The last few days had been... difficult.
I took a deep breath and headed upstairs reminding myself to be very- careful. The last time Duo had hunted down one of the Org's orphans, he'd left me at home. This time I had insisted on going along- and I shouldn't have. No matter that the Org had ordered Duo to take me along this time- Duo usually didn't play by their rules when one of his 'siblings' was concerned.
The bathroom door wasn't locked. I had half-expected it to be, was somewhat surprised when the knob turned easily in my hand. At least I was spared the trouble of trying to pick the lock.
Duo was in the shower, leaning against the wall, arms wrapped around himself, his eyes closed, his hair clinging to him.
I put my hand on the glass, said his name softly.
He didn't move.
Carefully opening the door, I reached inside and shut the water off. His eyes opened and he held his hands out to me.
"I can't wash it off." His voice was faint, his eyes unfocused. I knew this look and it worried me.
I took his hands in mine. "Wash what off?"
He blinked at the touch, focused on me. "Heero? What are you doing?"
"You've been in the shower a long time. Breakfast is going to get cold."
He let me pull him out of the shower, reached for the towel on his own. I turned to pick up his shirt and his hand caught my wrist.
I flinched. I couldn't help it.
"Heero?"
The shock in his voice made me turn quickly, pushing my sleeve up a little. "Wrists are a bit raw still, sorry about that..." I moved closer, putting my arms around him, wrists out of his sight, and tugged the towel around him. "After you get dry come downstairs for breakfast, okay?" I kissed his eyebrow and turned to head for the door.
"Are you... Do you... I didn't want to hurt you...I'm sorry..."
Oh no. "Duo-" I turned back around and pulled him close to me. "This is not your fault. I should've listened to you and stayed behind."
He shook his head. "No... you couldn't have. She told me she was coming for you- she told me that she'd hurt you. I thought you'd be safe with me..."
"I was safe with you."
His fingers ghosted over my wrists. "No- you weren't... I didn't know... I mean, she was always the best with the drugs. Always figuring something out. She was the one who developed the harp pills. I should've known something was off..."
"Duo. Stop it. It wasn't your fault." He was shivering under my hands. I ran the towel over him quickly and pulled him to the bedroom. I twisted his damp hair up out of the way as we curled up under the blankets on our bed.
He closed his eyes and put his head down on my chest. "I hurt you."
"Duo- it doesn't matter. It's not any different than..."
"Yes it is! I didn't... I never wanted to hurt you that way..." His hand touched the back of my neck, traced the faint scar there. "I never want to hurt you in any way... but sometimes my reactions... I can't help them..."
"I know that. It was part of my training too." I brushed my thumb over his cheekbone. "Like the time you snuck up on me in the shower and I decked you, remember? Dangers of living with an assassin, right?" He didn't return my smile.
He nodded. "But Heero... this was different...I didn't... I never..."
"Duo." I cupped his cheek, made him look at me. "It's not as bad as you're thinking. It's truly not." I smiled for him again. "It's not like we haven't done that before, right?"
"But..."
I shook my head. "Don't. Don't let her win. Can't you see? She knew the effect this would have on you."
"Bitch," he muttered, putting his head down on my chest.
"Yes," I agreed and waited. I knew there would be more.
"Did I... Do you hurt anywhere else?"
"No."
He gave me a doubtful look and so I pulled away from him a little so that I could yank off my shirt. I tossed it on the floor, my jeans following a moment later, and then I lay back on the bed.
"See for yourself love."
He examined me carefully. "Bruised."
"Where?"
He touched my hip, lined the marks up with his fingertips. "Here."
"Didn't even notice."
He shook his head at me. "Heero-"
"I didn't."
He snorted. "How can you be so calm about this?"
"How could I be anything else?" I lifted an eyebrow at him. "What really matters? The job is complete. She's dead and we're alive."
"But I..."
"You were a little rough with me under the influence of a drug. That's it."
Another snort. "A little rough," he said and put his head down on my shoulder.
"You've been a little rough before."
"I know." Deep breath. "You never are."
"Have you forgotten that broken arm of yours in Calcutta? And the black eye from that punch? And the..."
He put his hand over my mouth. "Not that kind of rough."
I kissed his fingertips. "I know." I couldn't tell him that I had always been careful on purpose. I know too much about his background to be anything else.
"Maybe you should be."
"Hell no."
"Didn't I tell you once that anything I did to you, you could do to me?"
That made me pause. Did he say that once upon a time? Maybe he did.
I met his gaze, realized that he was going to insist on it- and there was no way in hell I was going to do anything of the kind to him.
"That doesn't mean I want to do it."
He lifted an eyebrow at me. "Truly? You mean all the times I've used that rope on you- you never once thought about using it on me?"
He had me on that one.
"Even if I had, I never would. I know why you use it on me. It doesn't raise any bad memories up for me. For you... could you honestly say that it would be safe for me to use it on you?"
I watched the emotions flit over his face, knew that he was giving my question his usual careful consideration.
He rested his forehead against mine. "I think you would be perfectly safe."
For a moment I couldn't breathe. He wouldn't say that unless he felt it was the truth.
"You trust me that much?"
"More." I couldn't help the smile that curved my lips and he smiled back at me. "You know I love you more than anything. Don't look that surprised."
"It's not that and you know it." I pushed him back into the pillows and kissed him. He opened his lips, slid his arms around me- and a moment later pulled away.
"Heero- I meant it- you can..."
"I know," I smiled and nudged his legs open with my knee. "But that's not what I want right now, okay?"
I saw the faint hint of relief in his eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Right now, knowing you'd let me... that you trust me that much- is enough- more than enough..." I kissed him again and he relaxed against me.
"You're too easily satisfied," he grumbled, trying to hide the curve of his lips.
"Quite the contrary," I told him, and set out to prove it.
OWARI
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