Thank you to everyone that reviewed! Hugs to all of you.
Heero's POV:
More to Life Part 2
Duo yawned again. He was staring at his computer, his eyes wide and glassy looking. I wasn't surprised, he had left the apartment before I had this morning, claiming that he needed to go in and do some work.
It was now way past the end of our shift. And he was still here.
I knew I should've been too, but I was getting worried about Duo. He had seemed okay after Quatre's visit. Almost normal. And then this obsession with work started.
Duo has never been a slacker. It's one of the reasons I like having him as my partner. He always does his part of the work. But now he seemed determined to do all of mine too. Was this another type of depression? Quatre had warned me that Duo would still be susceptible to them.
How long had he been like this? A few weeks? As I thought back, I was startled to realize that Duo had been staying with me for over four months now.
Not that I wanted him to leave. Duo was a considerate roommate- not messy, and my cats loved him. Other than the tendency to wrap himself around me when he slept, I had no complaints there. He had been paying rent since he moved in and he mentioned looking for an apartment of his own every few days or so.
I never pushed it since I didn't really want him to leave. Plus, apartments were scarce in our city these days. It really made more sense for him to stay with me.
Speaking of home, I wanted to go there. And I wanted my exhausted looking friend to leave as well. Duo's eyes had big dark circles under them and I wanted to get him home, fed and in bed before he collapsed.
"Duo, it's time to go home," I said.
No answer.
"Duo?"
Nothing.
"Duo? Duo!" I leaned over the desk and waved my hand in his face.
"Heero?" He blinked and looked up at me. "What?"
"It's time to go home. I can finish that report tomorrow." I told him, truly worried now.
"Nah, it's okay. You go home, I'll do it now." He turned back to the screen and yelped when I reached over and hit the shutdown key.
"Duo- your shift's been finished for over an hour now and all you've done is stare at that screen."
"An hour?" He sounded surprised. "Why didn't you go home? I know you have that one contract to finish..."
"I was waiting for you. I started the prelim on the L4 case."
"Heero- I told you I'd do that." He frowned.
"I had the time." I countered and pulled him out of his chair.
"But it was my job..." he protested. "I can do it. You go home..."
"You are coming with me," I said firmly. "You're working yourself into a shadow. You need to rest." He yawned again and looked chagrined.
"Okay. I can come in tomorrow early..."
"We have tomorrow off," I snapped, scooping up his jacket and pulling him out of the office. "You are going to rest."
Duo continued to protest all the way down to the car. I steered him towards my car, and he was too tired to remember that he had brought his.
He fell asleep on the way home, waking briefly when we got there. I managed to get him to the bed before he passed out again.
He was exhausted. Damn it, I should have done something about this sooner. How long had I not noticed him overworking himself?
I went to the phone to call Quatre.
"Heero!" He answered on the first ring. "You got my message?"
"Actually, no," I told him. "I just got home. What's wrong?" Quatre was frowning and that was never good.
"Where's Duo?"
"Sleeping. He's been working himself into the ground. I called because you told me that he might slip back into his depression and I wondered if that could be a sign..."
"Are you two especially busy?"
"No. He's been doing all of his work and as much of mine as he can steal. I'm not sure how long he's been doing it for," I admitted.
"Well, you're a workaholic too, Heero. If you're noticing something, then it's bad," Quatre said, matter of factly.
"He's exhausted." I told him. "I brought him home and he passed right out."
"Damn it," Quatre sighed. "This isn't good."
"Why? What else is going on?"
"Hilde got married."
"What?" I blinked. "But she and Duo- it's only been four months!"
"She met the guy about a month ago. Head over heels according to Cathy. They got married three days ago."
This was going to kill Duo. Damn it.
"Do you want me to come and tell him?"
"Do we have to tell him?" I countered.
"If we don't he might find it out another way, when we aren't there to help."
"Good point." I took a deep breath. "I'll tell him tomorrow. We have the day off. Can you visit?"
"I'll make time." Quatre nodded. "Sure you don't want me to tell him?"
I hesitated. Why did I want to tell Duo? Quatre would be better at it by far, but... somehow I just...
I shook myself.
"No, I'll do it. You'll have to deal with the aftereffects."
"So will you," Quatre smiled. "You're a good friend Heero. I know Duo appreciates you."
"Hopefully he'll remember that after I tell him. Good night Quatre."
I went back to the bedroom and looked at my sleeping friend. Duo was huddled in on himself, scrunched up into a small space on my large bed. He was frowning in his sleep, and I wondered if he was having some kind of upsetting dream.
Yawning, I decided my computer projects could wait a day. I was going to need all the sleep I could get.
I got ready for bed, doing one last perimeter check before sliding under the covers.
No sooner had I gotten settled under the covers than Duo slid closer and cuddled up to my back. I glanced back at him before I turned out the light, and was surprised to see that Duo's frown was gone. His lips were curved in a contented smile. The bad dream must have faded into something happier. I was glad. I turned off the lights and settled down into the bed, Duo a warm weight against me.
I had turned the alarm off so I was sure that Duo would sleep in. I was wrong. I awoke to an empty bed and the sound of the front door closing. What the hell? I jumped out of bed, ran through the apartment and pulled open the front door.
Duo was standing in front of the elevator, a few feet from our door.
"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded.
Duo blinked. "I'm going in to work."
"We have the day off." I snapped.
"I have some stuff to do." He waved his hand in the air. "I won't be there all day, I promise!"
I can't really tell him in the hallway that he needs to stay home so I can tell him that his ex-fiancée is married. What to do?
Maybe...
"And how are you getting to work?" Duo blinked again.
"I'm going to drive," he said slowly, as if talking to a child.
"You aren't taking my car." I told him smugly. I had him now!
"I wasn't planning on it." The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. "I'm taking mine." He stepped onto the elevator. I leaned against the doorframe and crossed my arms.
"It's still at HQ, you know."
He stepped off the elevator.
"What?"
"You didn't drive it home last night. I drove you home. We left your car there."
The elevator doors slid closed as Duo stared at me.
"I don't remember that..."
"Which should prove to you that you need a day off." I pointed out.
He frowned. "But you're going to be working on that program all day. If you're going to work you could lend me your car..."
"I'm not." I interrupted him. "I'm taking the day off. I need my car today."
For what, I had no idea. Running errands maybe? But the grocery store was in walking distance... what did I need the car for? Maybe he wouldn't ask?
"You have plans for today?"
Damn it. Think fast...
"Well, I was hoping we could go do something. A movie or something..."
Duo was looking surprised. I guess I really am a workaholic.
"But that project..." He protested.
"Isn't due until next week." I straightened up and stepped backwards into the apartment. "C'mon Duo, let's take a day off okay? I'll buy you breakfast to start with..."
Duo was still giving me an odd look, but I managed to get him back inside the apartment. I hoped he wouldn't try to sneak off while I was getting ready, but it there wasn't any good way of keeping an eye on him while I was showering and getting dressed.
Luckily, he was still on the sofa, flipping channels exactly where I had left him when I hurried out.
"Where do you want to go for breakfast?" I asked him as we rode the elevator down to the ground floor.
"I don't know..." He gave me a half-amused half- chagrined look, "I haven't been out to breakfast for a long time. Hilde and I used to go occasionally..." His voice drifted off and I cursed at myself.
"We'll find someplace," I led him off at a brisk pace down the sidewalk.
We managed to find a coffee shop about a block away and secured a table by the window. I was glad. Duo was amusing himself by making up stories about the people passing by, so the conversation was not all on my shoulders.
Which was really good, since I was still trying to figure out a good way to bring up Hilde's marriage. 'Oh, hey Duo guess what?' was not going to work...
The waitress brought our menus, promised us coffee and vanished with brisk efficiency. I reminded myself to tip her well.
Duo returned to staring out the window. "Look at that girl with all those books. How can she carry so many? Do you think she knows some secret art of book stacking? Library-fu or something like that?"
"Maybe. Did you decide what you wanted?"
"Uh huh." He answered absently, smile gone again as he stared blankly out the window.
I wondered if he was trying to distract himself, and sighed. If I had known about the Hilde breakfast thing I would not have suggested going out. It pained me to think that I had inadvertently hurt him.
Our waitress returned with the promised coffee, took our orders and vanished once more. Maybe she knew some kind of martial arts skill too. I commented on this to Duo, who immediately grinned.
"Serving-Fu. Don't make her mad. I bet she can use a plate to slice someone's head off twenty meters away."
"Imagine what she could do with spatulas," I added, happy to see Duo smiling again.
"Or frying pans," he laughed and leaned back in his seat. I took a sip of my coffee as we settled into silence. Duo was watching me over the rim of his coffee cup, consideringly. I took another sip of coffee, nervous now.
Okay. I had his attention. How do I start?
"What's going on Heero?"
I looked at him in surprise.
"Something's up," he continued, putting his coffee cup down on the table. "You always work on your days off. It doesn't bother you when I do the same. Something's going on- what is it?"
"You're overworking yourself," I countered bluntly. "You didn't even remember how you got home last night. I'm worried about you okay?"
The look he gave me then made me flush.
He sighed. "So, I guess it must be bad if you're noticing, huh?"
"That's what Quatre said." The waitress appeared with our food. After assuring her that we were fine, I continued: "I called him because I was worried that you were getting depressed again."
He picked up his fork and poked at the food on his plate. I waited, unsure of how to continue. "I don't mean to worry you, " he finally said.
I noticed he didn't deny the depression.
"I know you don't," I told him. "But I'm your friend and I want to help. I know I'm no Quatre..."
"I don't want you to be," he interrupted. "I like you just the way you are."
Why did that sentence suddenly make me so happy?
"So, is that the only reason that I'm getting breakfast?" He continued. "Are you going to ask me to move out or something too?"
"I don't want you to move out." I blinked. "You're a considerate roommate Duo. I don't care if you stay with me permanently."
It was his turn to flush. I didn't see where I had said anything that should've sparked that reaction- maybe he had been thinking that I was going to throw him out?
I took a deep breath. He had asked what was going on, I needed to tell him.
"There was one other thing though." I put my fork down carefully. "When I called Quatre last night to talk to him about you, he had some news."
"Bad news, I take it?" Duo smiled faintly. "Just tell me Heero."
I took a deep breath.
"Hilde's married."
Duo put his coffee cup down with a slight thump. He stared at me, silently for a long time while I searched for something to say.
"It was a few days ago. She's known him for a month. Cathy keeps in contact with her, so she knew about it, I guess it was a pretty quick kind of thing. Quatre didn't give me a lot of details..." I closed my mouth and waited. Babbling was not going to help. Duo had not moved. I reached out a cautious hand and touched his wrist. "Duo?"
"Why didn't she call me?" He said softly, almost to himself. "I thought we were supposed to be friends... why didn't she tell me herself?"
I didn't know the answer, nor did I presume to understand Hilde. I stayed quiet, my hand on Duo's wrist, waiting. He sat, staring at me, his normally expressive face blank.
It worried me. I had expected anger, sadness, something. Not this strange blankness...
Duo's hand moved under mine, his fingers reaching around my wrist with a tight grip.
"Heero... I can't sit here..." It was a faint whisper.
I squeezed back and let go of his hand. I pulled out my wallet, tossed money on the table to cover both of our uneaten breakfasts and tip our poor waitress. I got to my feet, pulled Duo up and out of his seat and got us outside.
"Where?" I asked him.
"Home," he replied, still in a whisper.
He stayed close beside me all the way back, and I wished with all my heart that I had waited for Quatre. Quatre would've handled this way better than I had. He would've at least waited until Duo had eaten his breakfast...
Once the apartment door closed behind us I half expected Duo to go and hide in the bed again. I was relieved when he dropped down onto the sofa. Lia and Liam jumped up next to him, purring loudly, sensing his distress.
I sat down beside him and hesitantly opened my arms. Duo immediately leaned into me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
We sat silently. I didn't expect tears, the last time I had held him like this, when he had arrived on my doorstep, he hadn't shed any tears. I just held him, feeling him shiver, even in the warmth of our apartment and wished that I could do something for him. Something to help him. I didn't want Duo in pain. I didn't want him hurt.
The sudden realization was like being thrown into an ice-cold pool of water.
I loved him.
Damn it.
I must've done something- squeezed Duo or grunted or something, because he tilted his head back and looked at me.
"Heero?"
"Hm?" I replied, still in shock.
"You said 'Damn it'."
As long as that was all I had said. "Just thinking that I suck at this. I'm sorry Duo. I should've let Quatre tell you..."
"No," Duo put his head back down. "I'm glad you told me." I heard him chuckle lightly. "You'll let me mope for awhile. Quatre won't. I'm sure he's got a lecture ready for me already."
"What do you think he's going to say?"
"That I'm being an idiot. So what if Hilde's married? Was I really still in love with her? No. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with me just because she found someone else to marry so quickly and I haven't found anyone..." His voice dropped off.
"And there isn't you know." I told him. "How could you have met anyone working all the hours that you do?"
"Figures," he muttered, butting his head into my chest. "You would manage to get in a bit about overworking. I'm just trying to make it easier for you..." He stopped and I felt him tense. He hadn't meant to say that.
Was Duo working harder to make things easier for me? Why?
"You're just trying to win that partner of the year award," I teased, and felt him relax. So his overwork was due to me.
"That's right." He sat up and I let him go. "Did Quatre say when he was coming over?"
"Nope. He was just going to clear some time for you."
"I think I'll call him and get it over with." Duo sighed. "Poor Quatre has got to be getting tired of coming over to beat some sense into me." He got to his feet and headed towards the phone.
I watched him as he picked up the phone and dialed, my thoughts in a confused jumble.
I loved Duo. Not that I could or would ever tell him that. Not only was I was too damaged to ever consider any kind of romantic relationship with anyone, but Duo would definitely not be interested. I had never seen him display any interest whatsoever in his own gender. Duo relied on me to be his best friend, to support him and be there for him. I was not going to jeopardize that.
Plus, I had said or done something that had convinced Duo that he needed to overwork himself. It explained why so much of my work had ended up on his desk these last months. What it was I had no idea, but now that I knew, I was going to put a stop to it. Duo needed more free time to go out and meet other people, be social, find someone that made him happy.
I had to help Duo. Somehow.
TBC...
Back to Merula's Fanfictions Page