Author: Merula
Pairings: 1+2
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yaoi, AU, fantasy, sap, humor...
Disclaimer: I don't own GW.
Mage vs. Guard Part 1
"I don't need a bodyguard!"
"Yes you do!"
"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!"
"I don't care. You're still taking one with you."
Heero inhaled sharply and glared at Relena. "Look, you know when I joined the Order I was training to be a soldier. Unlike most of these idiots here I know which side of the knife is the sharp one. I don't need a bodyguard."
Relena lifted an eyebrow and sniffed. "You were eight years old. It's been a long time since you've had to worry about defending yourself at all. You will take a bodyguard with you."
Heero took a deep breath. "With all due respect my Lady, after what happened to the last one, I don't think the Captain would be willing to give me one."
"You mean he wouldn't be willing to give you someone he worried about losing." Relena smiled. "Not to worry, the Captain has already picked someone out for you. He said to tell you that if this one annoys you to please turn him into something useful. Frogs aren't good for much."
"It was only the one!"
"I know," Relena smiled wider. "I understand the Captain uses you as one of his threats. You know- 'do your job right or I'll assign you to Yuy.'"
Just wait until he saw Chang again. "So he's no doubt saddled me with some idiot that he wants to get rid of. All the more reason to go by myself."
"This is a dangerous job. You need a bodyguard. End of discussion." Relena got up from her desk and gestured towards the window. "Besides, your horse is already saddled, you're already packed, and your bodyguard is down there beside your things waiting for you."
Heero glanced down in the courtyard. Sure enough, his horse was there, and beside it was someone in the green leathers of the guard. Damn. Too far away to tell who it was, but at least it didn't look like the idiot that he'd had to take along last time.
"I refuse to take responsibility if he resigns when we get back."
"I know, just like the other five that resigned- most of them mid trip." Relena frowned. "I do wish you'd try not to scare them away. Do you know how hard it is to find guards who are willing to work with mages?"
"Fine. Anything else before I go?"
"Well, we could discuss your lack of uniform..."
Heero yanked at the edge of his dark blue tunic. "I'm not wearing those... things."
"Robes. Traditional mage garb."
"They're pink."
"They're light red."
Heero turned and headed for the door. "Pink." He said as he left the room, slamming the door behind him.
Relena sat back down at her desk and allowed a giggle to escape. If half the things she'd heard about the new guard were true- Heero might just be meeting his match.
~*~
Heero swung himself up in his saddle, deliberately ignoring the guard on the horse beside his. For a moment he thought that Chang had assigned him a female, due to the long braid of hair dangling over a shoulder. But once he got closer he realized the guard was definitely male.
"You are Mage Yuy?" The guard asked in a faintly surprised tone.
"Who else would I be?"
"I don't know- you aren't wearing the robe." The guard frowned. "Maybe you're a thief."
"Yes, and what an amazing thief I must be to try and sneak into a Mage School in the middle of the morning to steal a Mage's luggage."
The guard shrugged. "Could happen. Thieves are a tricky bunch you know."
"No I don't know."
"Then you'll have to take my word for it."
"Why have you caught a lot?"
"Nope, I used to be one." The guard grinned. "Duo Maxwell at your service my Lord."
Heero rolled his eyes. No wonder Chang had assigned him this one.
"And just what did you do to get assigned to me, Duo Maxwell? Try to steal from the Captain?"
Duo shook his head, his braid sliding off his shoulder. "Nope, gave that up ages ago. I...uh... kinda beat the Captain... during practice..."
"Really?" Heero hadn't heard of anyone even coming close.
"I got in a lucky shot." The guard shrugged. "Still, the man holds a grudge."
"If he assigned you to me, then yes, it's safe to assume he does." Heero turned his horse towards the gate. "He's no doubt hoping that you will annoy me and I'll turn you into a frog."
Duo followed. "A frog? Why a frog? If I'm going to get turned into something I'd like a mammal at least..."
"A mouse."
"A dog?"
"A rat."
"Ew. No one likes rats! How bout a bird?"
They were waved through the gate. Heero shook his head. "How about you try not to annoy me so I'm not tempted to turn you into anything?"
"Well, that was my main plan, but it's always good to have a back-up." Duo grinned. "Besides, I'm a terrific guard, you'll see."
"Really?"
"Sure. I can use the sword, long and short, toss a dagger, shoot a bow, fight like a wolverine and fuck like a rabbit."
Heero choked for a moment. "So then a rabbit would be a good thing to turn you into..."
"Not really. I only mentioned it cause you know, it's nearly winter. Just in case you needed someone to keep you warm."
"I'm a Mage, I can conjure fire, I think I'll be fine."
TBC...
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