Author: Merula
Pairings: 1+2
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, sap
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.
Just in Time
I hadn't meant to go back to the office. It was just one of those things- the informant was late, his information too important, and even though I knew Une was more than likely at the party I was supposed to be at, I knew I needed to get it into a concise form for her- especially if Quatre had brought that 'old family recipe' eggnog again.
So I hurried to the office, assuring myself that I'd only take fifteen minutes to type up the report and then get to the Christmas Eve party I was missing. Twenty minutes tops.
Rushing down the hallway, I stopped in surprise when I saw that Heero's light was on. The party had started over an hour ago, and Heero was one of those guests that always showed up on the dot. Had he forgotten to flip the light? Though that wasn't like him at all.
Pushing the door open, I half-expected to surprise a member of our cleaning staff- I didn't expect to see Heero with a carton on his desk, meticulously packing up his office.
"What are you doing?" Had he gotten a promotion? Was he moving floors?
"Duo?" He blinked at me. "Aren't you supposed to be at the party?"
"My meeting ran late. I came in to type up the report for Une. What are you doing? Are you moving offices?" I hoped not. I really liked having Heero down the hall from me.
Much to my surprise, he shook his head and looked uncomfortable. "No, nothing like that."
"Then why are you packing up?"
He lifted a shoulder in a half shrug, his mouth opening slightly as if he was searching for something to say.
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. "You're leaving."
"Yes."
"Where are you going? Is something happening? Some kind of threat like five years ago?"
"No," he shook his head, his eyes focused on the carton on his desk. "Nothing like that."
I reached forward and touched his wrist. Something was really wrong here. I didn't know what, but I was going to find out. "Then where are you going?"
"Just away," he shrugged again.
"But why?"
I waited as he stood silently, his fingertips playing with the edge of the box. "I... I wasn't expecting to have to explain it to anyone. I'm- not sure how to say it."
If he was asking me to let it go, it wasn't happening. "Try."
He moved away from me, away from his desk and went to stand by the window. His back was to me, but I could see his reflection in the glass.
"I'm tired."
"Tired of what?"
I half expected him to tell me he was tired of fighting. Tired of the Preventers. Maybe even tired of his friends- like me.
"Of being alone." I nearly missed the words, he said them so softly.
"But Heero- you aren't alone! You have all of us-"
He shook his head. "Not that kind of alone."
Oh. "So- you met someone? Or is it someone from before?" The words were hard to get out, but I needed to know. If Heero was going off to his one true love, then I needed to face some realities myself.
"No. I don't have anyone like that." He rested his head against the glass. "It's not so bad at other times of the year- but this time is always bad... I can't do it anymore. I can't face another year. Another year of hunting criminals, of waiting for this fragile peace to break, of killing people for a good cause... of having to face it alone..."
"You don't have to face it alone." I joined him at the window. "There is someone more than willing to share all of that with you. To share their life with you."
"Relena's engaged and you know I never felt that way about her." He frowned at me.
"I meant me."
I saw his eyes widen in surprise.
"Look, I know you've never even thought about me that way," I spoke in a rush, before he could get a word in. "I wouldn't expect you too. But I need you here with me, Heero. You're what gets me through it all. Let me help you-"
"Duo-"
"I wouldn't expect anything. Really. But I can help. You can move into my spare bedroom- so you don't have to be home alone. I can listen- you know I can. I can even set you up on dates with the girls from the shooting range. They adore you, you know."
"Duo-"
"Just don't- leave. That's all I ask. You can even leave the Preventers- get a job doing something else. I'll support you, help you look, anything..."
"Duo!"
Closing my mouth I waited for him to rage at me. Waited for him to get angry. Instead, he just looked at me, his expression faintly puzzled.
"I get you through? But I don't do anything..."
"You're here. That's enough."
He wet his lips. "Are you saying you love me?"
Now was not the time to evade the question. "Yes."
He looked away from me. "But- why?"
"I don't know. I just do."
"Since when?"
"Since the moment you showed up again after the Mariemeia thing. I knew then. How long before? I don't know." He turned back and met my eyes again.
"You never said anything."
"Thought you'd kill me."
He snorted faintly and reached out to brush a hair off my cheek. "I might have."
"But not now?"
"Not now." His lips curved in a faint smile. "I don't know what it feels like to be in love. I'm not sure I'd know it if I did. But right now- I'm happy. Happier than I can remember being in a long time. What do you think that means?"
I smiled for him. "It means that you are going to unpack that box while I write Une's report, and then we are going to the party together. After a few cups of Quatre's eggnog we'll talk and see what happens."
He smiled back. "Sounds like a good start to me."
OWARI
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