Quatre's POV in this part.
Hungry Heart Part 7
Trowa looked at me, his eyes dark as he held the piece of newspaper out to me. "I think we need to talk." Why was he upset? What had happened? Was he having second thoughts?
I propped myself up on one elbow and took it from him carefully. It was the ad from the paper.
Well, that answered one of my questions- it was his. He had been looking for me.
"I just saw this, the day before yesterday actually," I told him. "I don't get the newspaper. Someone had left it on a table and I found it."
"What were you going to do with it?" He asked and I wondered at the tone. Something was going on here that I was missing. I didn't want to be missing anything...
"Honestly? I didn't know what to do. I thought it might be from you, but I wasn't sure." I touched the initials on the scrap and smiled faintly. "I wanted to answer it, was thinking about ways to do it, but..." I paused. This was the difficult part. I didn't really want to get into this... I didn't want to hear about that other... Trowa was with me now and keeping him here was all I cared about.
"But..." Trowa prompted, watching me closely. He seemed less upset and I hoped I had said something right. "Why wouldn't you answer?" He smiled faintly. "You know I'd never turn you over to your sisters."
"My sisters?" I repeated, and then realized what he meant. "They asked you to look for me?"
Was that why he had put out the ad? For them? So... he hadn't been looking for me? But last night... he had said... Then again, he'd had a lot to drink...
Trowa shook his head, sliding up in the bed, resting his back against the headboard. "They were frantic. Heero called me because they were begging Duo to help them find you."
"What did you say?"
"That you wouldn't be found if you didn't want to be. But we had to do something to satisfy them so I came up with the idea to put the ads all over so that we could tell your sisters that we were looking for you."
Oh...
His hand touched my cheek, turned my face towards his. "But I never meant to tell them that we had unless you gave me permission, I swear it. I won't tell them now."
"Thank you," I didn't know what else to say. So he'd done it for them? But, he'd said...
His fingers stroked over my cheek. "What's wrong? You... you look so sad all of a sudden. Do you miss your sisters? Your job?"
I couldn't tell him the real reason. "Sisters yes, job no."
He smiled warmly at me. "I was so glad that you managed to leave. I wish you had done it years ago."
"So do I." I put my head down on his lap, unable to look at him in the wash of guilt that swept over me. If I had left years ago, then I could've taken Trowa with me, made sure that he was mine and mine alone...
His hand tangled in my hair. "How did you get this so long?" He asked, trying to smooth it into some semblance of order. "Extensions?"
"No, I grew it for a year, covered it with a wig."
His fingers stilled. "You planned this for a year?"
"Yes."
He was silent for a long moment and I wondered what he was thinking. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded strained: "A year... and you never said a word to me?"
"I didn't say a word to anyone." I looked up at him again. "Trowa... we exchanged maybe three, four emails in the last year? I... wasn't sure..."
"Wasn't sure of what?" He pulled away from me, wrapping his arms around his knees. "Wasn't sure you could trust me? Wasn't sure I wouldn't try and talk you out of it? You know how I felt about it! Damn it- would it have been so bad to ask me to go with you?"
I moved away from him, curling up at the foot of the bed, startled by this new revelation.
He wanted to go with me? But what about....
Unless... unless I had been wrong... and if I had been....then... who had Trowa been talking about last night?
"I didn't tell you," I said carefully, "because you were the reason I finally got up the nerve to leave."
He frowned at me. "That makes no sense! If I was then you should've trusted me!"
"Trowa-" I started to reach out a hand to him, and then stopped. "I decided to leave when Duo sent me pictures of the wedding. Until then... I had thought... well, that I had no choice. There were so many people relying on me- though I understand the company is doing better than ever now, so maybe that isn't true either." I took a breath, met his eyes. "I hated my job. It kept us apart and I hated it. Because I couldn't leave I thought I should... step away from you... make sure you knew you were free to do what you wanted... and then I saw those pictures... and that man was there with you... and I didn't just hate my job anymore. I despised it."
Trowa blinked at me. "Man?"
"The one that was always next to you in the pictures."
He gave me one incredulous look and then hauled me into his arms.
"Idiot." He said into my hair. "That was some Preventer friend of Duo and Heero's. He hung around me for a bit and I couldn't get rid of him until I dumped him on Dorothy. Why the hell didn't you ask me about him?"
Relief swept over me for a moment. "How could I? We'd grown so far apart... I was afraid to hear that you'd.... moved on..."
He didn't answer, just held onto me, and I realized that all his talk about someone who left him, who hurt him- was really about me. There was no one else. I was the one who had done this to him.
"I'm sorry," I said into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I should've asked. I should've told you. I wanted you with me..."
"I wanted to be here." His voice was very soft. "More than anything, I've always wanted to be with you." He shifted a little, turning me in his arms and putting his forehead against mine. "Will you let me stay here with you?"
It took me a minute to find my voice. He was still willing to stay? After... after all my mistakes? "What about the circus?"
"They'll be fine without me. I'm sure Cathy can find someone else to throw knives at."
I had to smile. "As long as it's not me for stealing you away."
He laughed and pressed me back into the pillows. "Ah, you know how to duck, right?"
"Trowa!"
"She'll be fine," he kissed my shoulder, moved down to my chest. "Trust me. She just wants me to be happy."
I threaded my fingers through his hair. "And- do you think you'll be happy, here with me?"
He smiled. "Nothing could make me happier..."
TBC...
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