Author: Merula
Pairings: 1x2
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yaoi, Heero POV
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.
Found
It's not that I never expected to see him again, like I fled trying to escape him forever... It wasn't like that.
But the war was over. He had a place... I didn't. I know that I could've stayed with him, that I could've gone to work at the yard... but that would've been leaning on him for support- and I didn't want to do that.
Looking back on it now, I know I was also worried about what would happen when he got tired of me, when he decided that I wasn't worth the effort and moved on...
So I left.
It was harder than I thought it would be... I meant to say goodbye face to face, to tell him... a lot of things...
I couldn't do it.
So I left while he was sleeping. I left him a note, packed my clothes and left.
I remember part of me hoping he'd wake up, hoping he'd stop me...
He didn't wake up.
I kept an eye on him afterwards. I knew when he left the scrap yard, joined the Preventers... I knew it when he ended up in a hospital- a victim of friendly fire... I knew when he finally recovered and went back to work.
There were things my computers couldn't tell me about him... they couldn't tell me if he was happy, if he liked his job, if he had fallen in love...
I thought about contacting him... and always decided against it. How could I be sure he even wanted to see me again?
I didn't spend all my time monitoring him of course. I went to school, got a degree, got a job that would no doubt have amazed my former friends, got a home, a car... all of the aspects of a normal life.
Except for one. I tried dating a few times, but... I guess I couldn't give my heart to anyone else. Duo still held it- would always hold it- even if I never saw him again.
When I got a job offer in his city, I took it. I didn't have any plans to try and contact him, didn't even think that we would even run into each other... but I liked the idea of being in his city.
I should've realized that my job put me into his sphere, that it was possible we would meet again...
So when he walked into my office I should not have been surprised...
~*~
"Are you the one with the test results?" An angry voice demanded from the doorway.
"Yes," I said, intent on my sample. "Come in, which are you looking for?"
There was no answer.
I looked up from the sample to find Duo Maxwell, in his full Preventers gear, standing in my doorway. We blinked at each other for a moment.
Damn, it was good to see him.
"Which test results do you need?" I asked, unable to think of anything else to say. The Preventers only showed up at our offices when they were in a rush.
His mouth opened and closed for a few moments. "Heero? What are you doing here?"
"I work here." I tapped my name badge. "See? Now what test results?"
He strode over to me, yanked me off my chair and growled. "I don't see you for years and that's all you can say? What test results?!"
"Well, I assumed you were on a job and needed them in a hurry."
He glared at me for a moment longer, and then let go of my shirt. "Same old Heero. Mission first. Yes, I am looking for test results on a guy that was brought in last night. Gunshot wound to the back of the head." He sighed. "It's good to see you."
I walked over to my desk and picked up a file folder. "Right here. The gunshot wound didn't kill him- there was a lot of interesting stuff in his body." I met his gaze. "It's good to see you too."
"Toxicology report done already?" Duo asked. "Oh- and where the hell have you been?"
"No, I mean he had some things stuck in his body that he shouldn't have." I handed him the folder. "I've been going to school, working..."
Duo studied the report, wincing a little. I couldn't blame him, it hadn't been pretty. "All here in town?"
"No, I moved here a few months ago."
"Can I take this with me?" He closed the report.
"That's the whole point of making a report for the Preventers."
"Thank you." He tucked the file folder under his arm and checked his watch. "Damn it. I have to meet Fei with this. How long are you on shift?"
"Til five."
"Good. I will meet you back here. If you run off I will hunt you down and shoot you." He lifted an eyebrow. "I want to talk to you."
I tried not to smile. "I'd like to talk to you too. I'll be here."
"You'd better." He turned around and headed for the door. Right before he reached it, he turned around again. "Wait- I won't be keeping you from a wife or significant other waiting for you at home, will I?"
"No. I don't have anyone like that."
His lips curved in a smile. "Good. I'll see you at five then."
It took me a while to get focused back on my work. It had been so good to see him, and yet... he'd changed. I hadn't expected that, though I should have. He seemed harder- something I should've expected. He'd been a Preventer for a while after all, the job had to take some toll.
But he also seemed sadder... and I wondered what had changed him, dimmed that bright personality of his...
~*~
My boss leaned in my doorway at 4:30 and coughed to get my attention.
"Yes?" I asked as I turned away from the sample I was working on.
"Why don't you go home early today?"
I blinked at her. Alicia was not the type to tell people to go home early. She liked us to arrive early and leave late.
"I'm not quite finished up here..." She moved into the room and looked over my shoulder.
"I can finish that up for you. You run along." I must've looked completely surprised because she leaned very close to me and whispered: "Go look in the hallway."
Mystified, I slid off of my stool and went to the doorway. I cautiously peeked around the doorjamb.
Ah.
Duo was leaning against the wall by the receptionist's desk, still in his Preventers uniform, lazily swinging his handcuffs around a finger.
Our receptionist was watching him like a mouse watches a cat. Her eyes were wide and she twitched every time the handcuffs clanked together.
I looked back at my boss. "How long has he been here?"
"Since four. He said he was an old friend of yours. He's making Jilly nervous. Please take him away."
Since four? But I had told him I didn't get off until five... why was he so early?
I shrugged out of my lab coat and nodded at Alicia. "Thank you."
She smiled. "No problem Heero. Just please don't let him come back?"
I wondered what Duo had been doing out there...
"Of course. Good night." I walked out into the hallway. Duo's head snapped around in my direction. He smiled.
"Heero! There you are!" He put the handcuffs back into their holder and straightened up.
Jilly looked relieved. "Are you leaving early Heero?"
"Alicia said it was okay." I told her. "You have a good evening."
"I will now," I heard her mutter as I opened the front door for Duo.
"Where would you like to go to talk?" I asked him.
"Someplace close. Is your car here?" He looked around the parking lot. "I can drive..."
"I usually walk to work- I don't live too far away. Would you want to go there?"
Duo frowned for a moment, and then nodded. "That would probably be best." He waved me towards a dark blue car with the Preventers logo on the side.
We got into the car and I gave him the directions to my apartment. It wasn't until then that I realized I might have made a tactical mistake. Did I really want Duo knowing where I lived?
Too late now. Guess some things had never changed... he still threw me off balance without even trying...
"So," I said into the silence, "do you like working for the Preventers?"
He shrugged. "Some days are better than others. Mostly yes."
"I was surprised when you left the scrap yard."
He gave me a quick sidelong look. "You knew when I left?"
Oops.
"I kept tabs on everyone," I said quickly. "Just in case..."
"In case of what? Death? Would that have brought you out of hiding?" Duo's voice darkened. "You didn't let us keep tabs on you."
I bit my lip. Well, here was a chance to say something I didn't think I'd ever get to... "I am sorry about leaving like that, Duo. It's not how I wanted to do it."
"It was a pretty fucked up way of saying goodbye. I thought I deserved a face-to-face goodbye at least." The undercurrent of anger in his tone made me flinch.
"You did."
"Then why didn't I get one?" Duo pulled into the parking lot of my complex, parked in the first open space and shut off the car. He turned to face me, frowning. "Why sneak off like that Heero?"
"I... I didn't think I could do it."
"What? Sneak off?"
"Say goodbye." I had to look away from him. "I mean... I meant to say goodbye, I really did, but... it was harder than I expected..."
"It couldn't have been any harder than waking up and finding your note." He shook his head. "That was the worst morning of my life."
Sorry didn't seem like enough somehow. "Mine too." I admitted. We sat in uncomfortable silence for a long moment and I wondered what to do next.
He gave me a faint smile. "Going to invite me in or are we just going to sit in the parking lot?"
We walked up to my apartment in silence. Once inside, Duo looked around, not hiding his curiosity. "Going for the minimalist look?"
I shrugged. "I don't really spend a lot of time here."
"Go out with friends a lot?"
"Work," I smiled. "You wouldn't believe how demanding some of the officers get about those test results."
He snorted, amused. "I can imagine." He sat down on my sofa and crooked a finger at me. "Come and sit down."
I sat down beside him avoiding his gaze, focusing on the stack of mail I had left on the coffee table. "How is everybody else?" I asked seizing on the first safe topic that came to mind.
"Fine, for the most part." He lifted a shoulder. "I don't see them all that often. Wufei left the Preventers and went to work to go to work for Relena. Quatre moved permanently back to L4."
"Trowa?"
"With the circus still I think. Quatre would know."
"Hilde? Howard?"
"Hilde's married. Howard's still running the Sweepers." He leaned forward a little with a faint smile. "As much as I'm enjoying making polite stilted conversation with you- I think it's time we moved back to other topics."
He was right. "I know."
Much to my surprise, instead of saying something, he reached into his jacket and pulled out his wallet. With that faint smile still on his lips he opened it and pulled out a worn and folded piece of paper.
I was mystified until after he unfolded it and handed it to me.
It was the note I had left on the counter all that time ago.
He had kept it? All this time?
I reread it- some of the words had faded in odd places- almost as if the paper had gotten wet- and bit my lip. I hadn't explained things well at all in it, not like I remembered...
"I'm sorry."
For a moment, I thought I had said those words... but they were Duo's. Why was he apologizing to me?
"I didn't know you were feeling like that. I thought you were happy with me. If I had known, I would've done something..."
I shook my head. "Duo, this wasn't your fault. I didn't explain it well. I was happy with you, it was just... I... I just didn't want to lean on you for help all the time. I needed... to find my own way." I still wasn't explaining it well.
"Without me."
So much hurt in those two words.
I looked up and met his eyes, swallowing hard. "You deserved someone who was strong enough to stand on their own."
"I had someone who was strong enough to stand on his own," he countered. "I guess he just didn't know it back then."
"Maybe not," I admitted, and swallowing hard, added: "and maybe too I thought I'd better leave before you told me to go. Before you got tired of supporting me."
His eyes closed for a moment. "And there's the heart of the matter- you left before I could leave you."
"Yes."
"Idiot." Duo opened his eyes and glared at me. "I never would've told you to go."
He said it now, but... "How can you be sure?"
I was suddenly pinned to the sofa, Duo on top of me, my wrists trapped above my head.
"Because I don't want you to go now. As much as you hurt me, as mad as you made me- I still want you."
He still...?
He kissed me then, hard and demanding. Before I could respond, he pulled away a little. "Do you still want me?"
I wanted to say more, but "yes" was all I managed to get out before he kissed me again. When he finally let me go I was nearly breathless.
"Be sure," he said, his eyes narrowing slightly, "because I don't intend to let you go again."
"I don't think I could leave again," I answered, knowing it was the truth. It had been hard enough to leave him once. I'd never manage it again.
He dropped down on my chest, his hands releasing my wrists, wrapping himself around me. "Promise me."
How could I say no? "I promise." I slid my arms around him and held him close to me, knowing that this was the reason I had come to his city, this was the reason I had taken the job in the crime lab- somewhere inside I had hoped to somehow get back what I had stupidly thrown away.
"I won't leave again."
OWARI
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