Author: Merula
Pairings: 1x2
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yaoi, Angst, Sap
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.
Edge
"Can you believe it? I'm still surprised he's alive."
"It worked though. We'd never have gotten through if he hadn't pulled that stunt."
Heero closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He isn't going to get mad. He isn't. It's not his right. He's Duo's partner, his roommate, his friend. He's not Duo's boyfriend, He's not Duo's lover- even if sometimes Duo slips into his room late at night... they never talk about it in the morning... at least Duo never says anything and Heero finds that though he can stand against Duo's chattering, he can't face Duo's silences. So he never says anything either.
He can't say anything. He can't do anything. Duo's life is his to risk, and if he chooses to take stupid chances, no matter how the other agents admire him for it, it's not Heero's right to scold him for it.
Even if he desperately wants to.
"You have to admire his courage-"
The conversations continue to swarm around him as the agents divest themselves of their gear, changing out of their field uniforms. Heero moves slowly, his eyes focused on his locker, hoping no one addresses a comment to him. He's not sure he can answer civilly.
"I think it was idiotic." Chang's voice cuts through the babble, several aisles over. "It was a completely unnecessary risk. We could've come up with another plan."
Heero silently agrees.
"You're just mad you didn't think of it first," Duo answers, his voice loud in the sudden silence. "I saw the opening and took it-"
"And very nearly got yourself killed."
"I didn't even get a scratch."
"It's nothing to brag about, Maxwell. That you didn't injure yourself is a minor miracle."
"Shinigami saw me through- he always does."
"And when he doesn't?"
"Then I won't be here to give you a bad time. Relax Chang, it's not like I'd be leaving a family behind- not like you..."
"It'd be better for you if you did have someone."
"Nah, I don't want to be tied down like that..."
For some reason, that's enough to make Heero slam his locker shut. The sound echoes in the locker room, making the agents near him turn their heads in surprise.
Duo appears at the end of the row of lockers. "Heero?" He's still in his field uniform, soot streaked and nearly vibrating with energy.
"You are such an idiot." Heero says and then turns on his heel. He hasn't finished changing, hasn't done anything other than pull off his vest, but if he stays here he's going to slam Duo into the lockers and really give the Preventers something to talk about.
Once out of the locker room he heads for the stairs, going up instead of down. He can't face their office now, he's still too angry.
The roof is empty and the cool breeze feels good on Heero's face. It's blessedly quiet and he can finally begin to pull his thoughts into a semblance of order.
On the edge, the breeze is a little stronger, the street far below him. If he closes his eyes, it's almost like that moment of standing on Wing, the detonator in his hand- the moment before falling into that safe darkness...
"Heero?" He doesn't turn around. "Heero? You okay? I know you're angry- and I know I should've told you I was going to-"
"Shut up." He doesn't want to hear it. Not now.
"Look- I know it was a stupid thing to do, but I did it, right? We finished the mission-"
Heero grits his teeth and turns around. Duo is standing a few feet away, still in his damaged field uniform.
"How would you feel if I took a step back right now?" He says and watches Duo's eyes widen.
"Don't you dare!" Duo snaps. "That's suicide-"
"What you did today was suicidal. How is it any different?"
"It was for the mission-"
"We could've found another way."
"We were running out of time-" Duo reaches out a hand as Heero shifts slightly. "Look, don't even joke about this Heero- you're right on the edge-"
"You're always on the edge."
"For a reason!"
"I have a reason." Here on the edge, Heero finds it easy to speak. Is this why Duo always talks? "I don't mean anything to anyone. No one will miss me. No one will care. Why can't I step back?"
"What the hell are you talking about? No one will care? Are you insane? What about the others?"
"They don't stop you. Why should they stop me?"
Duo edges closer and Heero shifts again.
"What about me? I need my partner-"
"You don't need me. I wish you did. But I'm not good enough-"
"No!" Duo shakes his head, his expression anguished. Heero wants to reach out a hand and soothe that pain away- but he can't move. "No, Heero, you have it wrong. You're too good-"
"No." Heero closes his eyes. "If I was, you wouldn't do things like today."
Arms wrap around his shoulders, a warm cheek presses against his. "I'm sorry," Duo murmurs in his ear. "I'm so sorry. I never meant- I didn't know!"
"Duo-" He slides his fingers into his partner's braid. Should he pull Duo away? Or hold him closer?
"I am an idiot." Duo's grip tightens. "But I'm not letting you go. You decide Heero- over the edge or away from it. It's your choice. But either way, I'm not going to let you go without me."
There's only one choice to make.
Duo doesn't let go, even as Heero steps away from the edge. He simply holds on tight to his partner as if he's afraid Heero will dash back to the edge if he doesn't.
"Home," he says in Heero's ear. "We need to talk."
"Home," Heero agrees and lets Duo pull him towards the stairs.
OWARI
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