Author: Merula
Pairings: 1+2
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yaoi, Angst
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine. I think I mentioned I had one of those 'earworm' songs? Yeah, I tried to get rid of it by writing a ficlet- which I couldn't make as depressing as the song. Yeah...
Black n' Blue
I hate hospitals.
Thumping my head against the wall, I intercepted a glare from Wufei and did it again just to tick him off.
"Can't you wait with any patience?" He growled in my direction.
"Are you serious?" I snapped back at him. "Trowa's-" I cut off the word that rose to my lips and sent a guilty glance towards Quatre's back. "I'm worried, okay?"
"We're all worried," Heero spoke up from his place beside the window. "Leave him alone, Chang." He added and I sent a grateful smile in his direction.
"I'm sorry," I said, more for Quatre's benefit than Wufei's. "I just... hate waiting."
Wufei's expression darkened and I knew he was going to say something- and part of me hoped for it. If I fought with Wufei, then I wouldn't have to just stand here and wait...
"I need coffee," Heero said suddenly and moved away from the window. Wufei blinked at him, derailed by the interruption and Quatre- Quatre didn't move. Hell- he hadn't moved since we'd sat him down in that chair. If Trowa didn't make it- would Quatre get up again?
A hand grabbed my elbow and I nearly jumped. Heero didn't smile- I don't think any of us could at that moment- and steered me out of the room.
"What-" I started.
"We're going to get coffee," he said amiably, "before Chang decides to swing at you."
"He wouldn't-"
"It was his decision that put Trowa into the path of that bullet. Are you so sure he doesn't want to take a swing at someone?"
"So someone will swing back." Sighing, I let Heero lead me down the hallway. "It wasn't his fault- we weren't expecting-"
"It doesn't matter. You know Chang."
We stopped in front of a small row of vending machines. Heero fed coins into one and we watched the cup fill. "Technically, it was Quatre in front of that bullet- Trowa put himself in the way." I said, just to be contrary.
"True," Heero pulled the cup out of the machine and handed it to me. He began feeding coins in again. "But either way, Chang feels guilty as hell. So don't bait him, all right?"
"I'll try not to." That almost-smile curved Heero's lips for a moment at my words.
"I guess that's the best I can hope for," he said as he took the now-filled cup out of the machine and we started back down the hallway.
"If he starts up again, I'll go for a walk," I promised.
When we got back to the waiting room, Quatre was missing. Panic surged inside me and I turned on Wufei. "Where is-?"
"With Trowa. They finished the surgery. They said Quatre could go in." Wufei looked- better- not as tightly wound and I relaxed a little even as Heero asked:
"What did the doctor say?"
"He's still in critical condition, but they're hopeful. He's in intensive care, so we can't all go see him- but Quatre's being allowed to stay for a while." I caught the wistful glance that Wufei cast at my cup and really looked at him for the first time since we got to the hospital. I thrust the cup at him and waited while he took a grateful sip.
"How long-"
"Not long. Which is good- we have to go in and report. Une's been waiting for us."
"She can wait," I snarled at him. "It's not like she doesn't know what happened!"
"Duo," Heero's tone was soft, but I still caught the reprimand. Dragging in a breath, I gave Wufei an apologetic look.
"Sorry- I don't mean to- I just- I hate hospitals. And I hate- feeling this way-"
"We all do," Wufei put his hand on my shoulder. "None of us likes standing by and doing nothing. Trowa will be okay."
"Quatre won't let him not be," Heero added, and startled a laugh out of Wufei.
"I know, I know," I sighed and stole my coffee back from Wufei. "Lucky bastards- I sort of envy that, you know?"
"You envy what exactly?" Wufei poked at me, nearly spilling the coffee in my hand.
"Just- I mean- Trowa threw himself in front of that bullet without a thought- to have someone love you that much- none of the people I date would do that for me. Hell- I don't think anyone would."
"I keep telling you that your dates are not of the highest quality," Wufei teased, but I couldn't respond. Heero's expression- he was looking at me- and there was something- in someone else I would've called it pain- but what would Heero be hurting over-?
"I'll go see Une and start the paperwork," Heero cut in abruptly. "You two stay here and wait for Quatre."
A moment later and he was gone, leaving Wufei and I blinking at each other. If that had been anyone else- I would've said they had just fled- but Heero? What nerve had we touched?
Wufei retreated to a chair and a magazine and I went back to the window, still puzzling over Heero's odd behavior. Hell... what had set him off?
Replaying the conversation, I could only guess. Heero- well, hell, Heero threw himself into danger all the time- for people he didn't even know. Look at that moment when he and Wing had been between Earth and that chunk of Libra....
Had there been someone he failed to save? Someone he'd... loved? He'd vanished after the second war for a couple years before joining the rest of us at the Preventers... what had he been doing? Who had he lost?
Damn, I wished I hadn't said anything. Heero was one of my best friends- I hated the thought of hurting him- even inadvertently.
A little over an hour later I was still mulling over Heero's behavior when Quatre appeared, looking tired, but smiling. "Hey," he said as we turned towards him. "Trowa's doing much better. They agreed to let me stay here- and I called Rashid. You two can go home."
"You mean to HQ," I told him with a smile. "Une needs a report."
He shook his head, not losing his smile. "She always does. Well, get it done and then go home and crash."
Both Wufei and I assured him that was in our plans and we headed out.
~*~
It was early morning when we got to HQ. Sally was waiting for us when we stepped out of the car, immediately snagging Wufei's collar. "Heero did the reports, Une has what she needs, you two have permission to go home."
"Is Heero still here?" I asked her and she shook her head.
"Once he was finished, I sent him home." She handed me a flash drive. "He asked me to give this to you."
"Thanks." The reports, no doubt. Heero was a fast worker and I was tired enough to be grateful- though- I had really wanted to see Heero. To make sure he was okay. Stupid of me, but I just had a feeling...
I left Sally and Wufei and headed towards my car. I didn't live that far away. I could be in bed in twenty minutes if the traffic lights were in my favor.
But once I got home... I couldn't help booting up the computer. Heero had seemed so... off when he'd left us. I guess I had some vague idea of double-checking the reports for him- verifying them in some way-
What was on the drive wasn't the reports- at least not the reports that Une had wanted. It was a series of medical reports. Heero's medical reports. Had he given me the wrong drive?
Curiosity stirred- we'd been in the Preventers for four years- in some pretty damn dangerous situations. Hell- looking over Heero's records- I was sort of surprised he was still considered fit for active duty.
Here was the time he'd got injured subduing that serial killer- guy had a hidden knife- I hadn't even seen the damn thing- but Heero had- and ended up with a knife through his hand.
Crap- I had forgotten about this one- we'd been undercover- and the bad guys had figured it out- Heero had boosted me out of there- but they'd caught him- not for long- hell if I was going to leave my partner in that situation- but they'd beaten him pretty badly. Fuckers...
The next one made me wince- that explosion had been a damn close thing- those idiots had been using fire throwers near some gas storage containers- hell, I had barely escaped being singed- and Heero's shirt had caught- luckily we'd managed to smother it quickly.
What was this one? Oh right- those terrorists- they'd managed to pull the breaks out of the car we'd been using to take Relena around- Heero had gotten Relena and I out of there- but he hadn't had time to jump himself.
I quickly closed the next one. I remembered the train incident all too well. Heero been months recovering- hell, sometimes in cold weather I still caught him favoring that shoulder. Maybe I should tell Sally about it.
The last one- hell, here was another one I tried to forget. Good thing Heero had been faster than that grenade- he'd fucking tossed the damn thing back at those idiots- with a bullet in his side. We barely gotten behind cover- and even then-
Crap. I had to wonder- maybe this wasn't Heero's drive- maybe Sally had mixed it up with one of hers? Heero had to be interesting to medical science- considering how many god damn times he'd been injured. Maybe she used it for presentations or something?
There was one more file. I wasn't sure I wanted to open it- more than likely it'd be one more thing that I'd forgotten Heero had done to himself. Maybe I could talk Une into giving the guy a nice safe desk job? If anyone deserved it- he did.
I clicked it- and discovered that it wasn't a medical file. It was a note.
Duo-
I do love you that much.
Heero
For just a moment- I didn't get it.
Oh hell... he'd... and I had said...
Before I even realized what I was doing, my keys were in my hand and I was halfway down the stairs.
I think... I think in some part of my brain, I was worried. After reading those files- after seeing that expression on his face- after that note. I think- I know- that I was worried that something had happened to him- or he had done something.
Underneath that was another feeling- as if something that had been missing had suddenly clicked into place- something I hadn't even known I was missing until now.
I don't really remember the drive to his apartment.
Heero answered the door, looking like shit. He had obviously been sleeping, but there were dark circles under his eyes and he didn't look like the iron man of Sally's medical files.
"I didn't know," I said to him and he blinked at me.
"Duo?"
"I didn't know. I didn't realize- you- you jump in to save everyone- I think we sort of expect it- I didn't know I was- different- I swear-" I really should've thought this out first.
Comprehension lit his face. "Duo- I didn't give that to you to make you feel guilty. I just- I thought after what you said that you needed to know. I know you don't feel the same. It's okay. Go home and get some rest."
Maybe at another time he could've pulled it off. But he was tired and maybe I was a little more sensitive to his expressions than usual. Even as he smiled and shrugged, I saw what was underneath.
Stepping closer, crowding him in the doorway, I decided enough was enough. "If you don't mind, I'd rather stay. I need to make sure you get some rest before I talk you into taking a nice desk job."
He backed up, blinking at me. "A desk job? But-"
"A nice safe desk job."
"But-"
"Oh, I'll take one too." I closed the door and carefully slid my arms around him. "I didn't know what you were doing- I didn't know what it meant. I'm sorry I missed it."
"It's all right- you don't-"
"I want to, Heero. Not that I don't appreciate everything you've done- but there's better- safer ways to show me how you feel."
"So... you want me to show you how I feel?"
"Yes. I didn't think about it before, but now... I think I do."
Returning my hug, I felt him smile against my shoulder. "I think I'd like that- but-"
"But...??"
"Can I get some more sleep first?"
"Mind sharing your pillow?"
"As long as you don't hog the covers..."
OWARI
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