Author: Lady Nagisa (with lots & lots of help from Cloudy Daze)

Rating: NC-17 (eventually)

Category: Yaoi, Angst, Lemon, AU, OOC, Probably others... but I'm never good at picking out more than the main ones I'm known for ><

Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 6x5, hints of a past 3x5 pairing

Archive: email me if you want it... I just like to know where my fics are ^_^

Author's Notes: ^^;;; Well... I actually started this over a year ago and then it got set aside in favor of finishing some other fics I had started. So... now that I have dropped one fic... or actually "evolved" into a bigger project... and another is almost at its end... I've been looking this one over again. I have a need to get out of the historical works for a while and do something a little more "now". So... after some recent needling from my lovely co-owner...

I also need to say a "Thanks" to a particular person... for sharing with me her experience with a disease she had as a child so that I could use it for this. Okasan... daisuke!

Without You Part 1

Adjusting his heavy duffel bag on his slim shoulder, the small blonde slowly made his way down the hallway of the building that would be his home for the next few months. He glanced down at the paper in his hand and then scanned the doors until he found the room that was supposed to be his. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and peered inside.

"Empty," He breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he wouldn't have a roommate after all.

He'd fought his family to be allowed to come here and then after winning had been gripped by deep terror. Four years of rooming with strangers was something he hadn't through about until after he'd been registered. He wasn't used to dealing many other people outside his family.

As a child he'd fallen severely ill, almost perishing. As he recovered, the doctors told his parents that he'd never be strong enough to live a normal life. Most likely he'd not live long enough to see adulthood. They'd kept him inside, teaching him privately, not allowing him to be with other youths for fear of him becoming sick again. As he'd grown older he'd started to chafe at their smothering and when it came time for his college studies, he'd fought desperately to be allowed to leave home to attend school.

And now... here he was... nineteen years old... alive and teetering on the brink of adulthood; old enough and strong enough to have defied his father to come here.

"No turning back now," He said to himself.

Walking into the room, he was happy to see that his sister had had his stuff brought here the day before, like she had promised. He set his bag on one of the beds and picked up one of his suitcases. Setting it on the bed, he opened it and began to put his things away.

A couple of hours later he stood back with his hands on his hips and smiled. He'd managed to get everything done without having to stop and rest, but now, he was exhausted. He set the last of his suitcases in one of the two small closets and decided to lie down for a while. Just a short time to recover his strength, and then he'd maybe explore the grounds of his temporary home.

A thud and a sudden flash of bright light brought him straight up from the bed, his heart slamming painfully against his chest. He raised a hand to shield his eyes, blinking against the blinding light, trying to see what was going on. As his vision focused he saw a young man standing in the doorway. Guess I get a roommate after all.

"Hi." He said to the other boy as he walked into the room.

"I didn't mean to startle you. With no lights on I didn't think there was anyone here."

"It's alright. I shouldn't have slept so long."

He watched as the young man carried his bags into the room, moving with a fluid grace that the blonde envied. With a start, he realized how striking this boy was... tall, reed slender, brown hair with light auburn highlights, short in the back and longer in the front, falling forward and covering one of his deep green eyes.

The blonde stood and held out a hand. "I'm Quatre Winner."

The other boy turned around and looked at him. "Trowa Barton." He replied, ignoring the outstretched hand.

Quatre lowered his hand, trying not to feel rebuffed. Not very friendly, I guess, he thought as Trowa went back to unpacking his things.

"Well," The blonde said, picking up his jacket from his desk. "I'll leave you alone."


As the door closed quietly, the brunette raised his head and looked at the solid wood. It was going to be a long semester sharing a room with that one. He almost looks unreal... so small... like a doll. Within seconds of entering the room Trowa had taken in every inch of the boy's small frame, from his slim build to his soft blue eyes, hair spun like golden silk and alabaster skin.

A really long semester...

A knock on the door drew him from his thoughts. "Yeah!" He called out and the door flew open admitting another young man, with long chestnut hair, shot through with strands of gold, pulled into a braid and vibrant violet eyes.

"Hi, Duo."

"Heya, Tro!" The boy said happily as he flopped on the bed that belonged to Trowa's roommate.

"Uh... Duo... that bed belongs to someone else."

"Oops!" Duo jumped up and went to sit on Trowa's bed. "So, you got a roomie after all."


"You don't sound very enthusiastic."

"You know if didn't want a roommate." Even if he does look like a golden siren.

"Oh... yeah... that's right... harder to hide your dirty little secrets."

Trowa threw a pillow at his friend. "Did everything work out for you?"

"Of course! Heero will be here tomorrow." Duo replied with sparkling eyes. "We're lucky that all three of us managed not only to get into the same college, but that we were able to get into the same dorm. After being together for the last four years, I hated the thought of us all being split apart."

Trowa raised an eyebrow at the thought of Duo letting anything short of world destruction separating him from Heero Yuy. Setting his laptop on his desk he chuckled. "Yeah... and lucky for you that Heero's parents decided to stay in the states."

"You better believe it! I would have had a real hard time convincing my parents that I needed to go to school in Japan... especially to be with a boyfriend that they know nothing about."

"More like impossible."

"It was a joke, Tro! Geez... get a sense of humor, will ya?" Duo laughed. "

"I will... about the same time you get a haircut and take Heero home to meet your mother!" Came the dry reply.

"Alright! Alright! I get the idea! I'm going to head back to my room. I just wanted to make sure you got here alright."

"Father practically threw me out of the car."

Duo's eyes glittered. "At least you don't have to deal with the bastard here. I'll see you tomorrow, kay?"


The chestnut haired youth left and Trowa quickly finished putting his things away. He then decided to take a walk around the campus, just to get a better look at it. He hadn't cared when he applied to come here... he had just wanted to stay with the only two friends he had that didn't care what he was like... and he had wanted to get away from his father.

A couple of hours later, the brunette returned to find Quatre, changed into sweats and a t-shirt, sitting in the middle of his bed reading a book. The blonde looked up, as Trowa walked into the room, and smiled happily.

"I see you got everything put away alright." He said.

"Yeah." Trowa put his jacket in his side of the closet and pulled a notebook from his desk.

Quatre sighed as the other boy sat on his bed and went back to his reading. He didn't see much sense in trying to talk to someone that wasn't interested in talking. After a few more pages he got up and set the book on his desk. He flipped back the blanket on his bed and climbed under it, reaching up to turn his lamp out.

"Will my light bother you?" Trowa's voice cut the silence.

"No. I can sleep whether there's light or not." Quatre replied.

Trowa didn't answer and Quatre fell asleep to the sound of a pencil scratching across paper.


The next morning, Quatre was jolted from his sleep by a heavy weight landing on his bed. Letting out a startled squeak he flew out from under the blanket and plastered himself to the wall, his breath coming in short bursts. Bright violet eyes peered at him from where Duo was perched in the middle of his bed.

"Soooooo," The chestnut haired boy chortled. "You're the roomie! Where's the rest of you?"

"E-excuse me?"

"You're sort of... little... is that all there is to you?"

Trowa, who had wandered out of the bath just as Duo had landed in the middle of the blonde, decided enough was enough. "Duo... behave. You've scared him half to death." He said as he vigorously toweled his hair. "Then again, you'd scare anyone first thing in the morning. I don't know how Yuy does it."

Quatre glanced up to see the slender boy walk across the room, clad only in a towel, and closed his eyes again, trying to hide further into the wall.

Duo looked closer at him. "Geez, you are awful pale. You alright?" He asked reaching out to check Quatre's skin.

Quatre swatted his hands away and leapt from the bed. "I'm fine!" He gasped. "You just startled me, that's all!" He grabbed some clothes from his dresser and bolted for the bathroom.

Duo sat back down on the edge of the bed as Trowa dropped his towel and pulled on a pair of jeans.

"That wasn't necessary, Duo." The brunette said quietly, shrugging on a black t-shirt.

"How was I supposed to know he was scared of his own shadow?" The other boy pouted. "I was just playing around."

"You don't even know him."

"I was TRYING to remedy that! We are all going to be crossing paths for at least the next semester."

"Try to think of a better way to do it, alright?" Trowa replied grabbing his jacket. "Let's go grab some breakfast."

"Sure, I'm always ready to eat! You know that." Duo said following him from the room. "By the way, Tro, you're sort of defensive of him, aren't you? Although, he is sort of cute."

The next sound was the violet eyed boy swearing as Trowa whacked him across the back of his head.

"Just because I don't think you should act like a blathering idiot, it doesn't mean I'm interested in him!"


"QUIT trying to set me up!"


Quatre leaned his forehead against the smooth wood of the bathroom door and struggled to catch his breath, trying to ignore the sharp twinges of pain that shot through is shoulder. Whoever that friend of his roommate's was, he'd nearly scared the life out of him.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," He murmured as he heard Trowa and his friend leave.

Making sure that they were truly gone, he wobbled from the small room on shaky legs and sat on his bed. Clutching his clothes to his chest, he closed his eyes and fought against his own fears. I've been through this before. The dizziness will pass... it always does.


Well... first chapter of new fic... although I know it won't earn me forgiveness for Born in Chaos... hopefully it will get me a little bit?


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