Author: KatiKat
Warning: Silly, completely and totally OOC, insanity pure AKA do not take it seriously :D
Rating: PG
Pairings: Well, I think that 1+2 fits here :)
Archives: KatiKat and Friends and http://www.livejournal.com/~katikat
Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply here.
Notes1: I would like to thank my wonderful, amazing beta Lucid Nightmare :)
Notes2: Well, yeah... here is my contest fic. I really really wanted to join this contest but for the longest time I had no idea what I should write about. Then this idea popped in my head and... well, it's insane *shakes her head* Read and see for yourself :)
To Be a Star
Over the awful plastic frame of his glasses, Heero peeked at the traffic light. Nope, still red. For once, he thanked the traffic sprites who didn't like green. He had an exam this afternoon and still had to stuff these awful mathematic formulas into his head. Whoever convinced him to go and study computer science should be shot on sight. He quickly returned to the book he balanced on the steering wheel. "So, when we add X to Y and multiply it with-"
Unfortunately, he wasn't allowed to finish the sentence because at that very moment, the passenger door of his small beetle sprang open and somebody threw themselves in the car, slamming the door closed again. Manly or not, Heero squeaked, the book falling into his lap together with the unknown person's head and his twice duct-tape-repaired glasses he balanced on the tip of his nose slipped down and hung from one of his ears.
"What the-"
Sadly, he wasn't allowed to finish this sentence either because at that very moment a group of shouting, screaming and yelling girls passed his car and the person - black clothes, long braid, bright yellow backpack, he noted from the periphery of his vision - pressed his face closer to his groin. Heero stifled a moan, gripped the steering wheel tightly and fixed his eyes on the stop sign on the other side of the intersection. His cheeks were so hot, he feared he would combust.
"Are they gone?" came the whisper from a dangerous closeness of his private parts.
Heero nodded furiously. He had no idea what this person - from the voice he recognized that it was a man - was asking about but it didn't matter at all. He would do anything to get the intruder away from... his nether region.
The braided man lifted his head slowly, very very slowly, from the student's lap to peek over the dashboard. Heero's eyes stayed fixed on the stop sign. He always liked the shape of this particular traffic sign. It was highly unusual and-
"Thank god!" The stranger breathed out in relief. "I thought that they had me this time."
Heero refused to answer or even look at the man. Nope, he would definitely not look the man in the eyes. If he did that, he would surely die of embarrassment. And Heero didn't want to die yet, since everybody predicted he would have a great future.
"So, I will be on my way!" The intruder sounded way too cheerful for Heero's taste. "Thanks for the help, man!"
What happened next shocked the poor student even more than having a stranger suddenly sniff at his private parts. The other man caught Heero's face in his hands and... KISSED HIM! On. The. Lips! Heero caught only a glimpse of blue-violet, amused eyes, then the door was thrown open again and the man was gone.
Heero blinked. What the hell? He didn't know how long he would have been sitting there and starring dumbly at nothing if the honking of the cars behind him didn't wake him up from his daze. Heero blinked again, then quickly took his glasses off and reached for the book to put it aside too before he shifted gears only to stop short with his hand poised over his lap.
That little thief stole his book!
~*~
"Hey, go easy on the door!" Wufei Chang shouted as Heero stormed into the little apartment he shared with his fellow students Wufei, Hilde and Dorothy and slammed the door shut with such force that the pictures rattled on the walls.
Almost immediately Mr. Wong, an elderly Chinese man who lived just below them, hit his ceiling and therefore their floor, with the handle of his broom. "Quiet up there!"
For once, Heero felt the urge to stomp around the apartment just to make even more noise. He resisted the urge though, but threw his battered black backpack on the ground and huffed.
"What's wrong?" Wufei asked as he popped his head out of the kitchen door in curiosity, his heavily gelled black ponytail defying the laws of nature and sticking straight out. "Did the test go bad?"
Heero looked at him, confused. "The test?" Them he remembered. "No, the test was okay. But there was this guy. In my car. And he took my book!" Heero raised his voice.
Wufei blinked. His friend never raised his voice. "What book? What guy?" He abandoned peeking out of the door and stepped into the living room. Something interesting had happened to Heero today which was an unusual thing in itself, since Heero was the most boring guy that ever walked the earth.
"He just jumped in my car and put his head in my lap and then he kissed me and stole my book!" Heero was breathing heavily, obviously upset.
Wufei's eyebrows climbed to his hairline. "He kissed you? And put his head in your lap? And why do you care about this book so much?!" Heero's explanation made no sense.
But before Heero could finish his explanation, he was interrupted once again. The third time that day. And this time by a loud squeal from his fellow roommates, followed by more thumping of the broomstick.
Both young men rolled their eyes. Girls! But they still followed the weird squealing, screaming and yelling noises to one of the two small bedrooms. There, on the bed, sat two girls holding each other and jumping a foot high on the cushions. The TV was on so there must have...
"That's the guy!" Heero shouted, pointing at the braided man on the screen. "That's the one who kissed me and stole my book!" An immediate silence fell over the room as everybody turned to Heero to look at him oddly. "What?!" he snapped at them.
Hilde looked at him as if he wasn't quite right in the head. "Heero, that's Duo Maxwell. He is a star, a singer. He has chosen a recording studio here in town to work on his new album. Where do you live that you don't know him? He is all over the city!"
"And me! He just jumped in my car and kissed me!"
Dorothy snorted. "Right, Heero. Keep on dreaming."
She waved him off, but before she could make another snarky remark, the screen was filled with a black-and-white photograph of the star singer kissing their boring roommate. Everybody's jaws hit the floor. For different reasons of course. Hilde jumped at the remote control, turning the sound up.
"... say about this picture? It's clearly visible that you're kissing a man, Mr. Maxwell," the reporter said, sticking a microphone under the singer's nose.
"Oh yes," Duo Maxwell said, looking embarrassed. "I think you caught us then, huh?"
Heero blinked. "Us? Caught? What the-"
"Sshhhhhhhhh!" interrupted the girls and waved at him frantically.
The singer sighed in resignation. "It looks like we have to come out. You see, I'm gay and Heero - the guy in the picture - is my lover. We wanted to keep our love life out of the press until he finishes college..."
"WHAT?!" screamed Heero, but his voice drowned in the storm of shouting and screaming that exploded in the room. "That's not... He is not... We are NOT..." But it was obvious that nobody was listening or caring for his opinion in the matter, so the overwrought student shouted the first thing that came to his mind: "And he stole my book!"
And thus the world discovered that one boring student of computer science who went by the name Heero Yuy, had a secret love affair with Duo Maxwell, singer extraordinaire and the new sweetheart of half of the population - males included.
God help us all!
OWARI
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