Author: KatiKat
Warnings: AU, humor, dirty dialogue
Rating: PG
Pairings: Well, a lot but none mentioned. It's actually about Duo pouncing Heero.
Archives: KatiKat and Friends or http://www.livejournal.com/~katikat
Disclaimer: All the standard disclaimers apply here.
Notes: My big thank you goes to my wonderful beta Lucid Nightmare.
Notes2: This story was written for Stone Angel. I'm happy it cheered you up, girl! *huggles*
Notes3: Looks like not many folks liked my last story "Beware of the Monster", so hopefully, you will like this one better! :)
Short Stuff
"God, I'm so horny!" Duo moaned as he slipped into the seat in the booth where his friends already made themselves comfortable and dropped his head on the table. It landed there with a thump that made his friends wince.
"I gather that your date didn't go well, then?" the tall, long-haired blond said casually, hiding his smirk behind a cup of strong, hot coffee. Black, without sugar.
Duo didn't bother to raise his head. "You are such an observant guy, Zechs," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Nothing seems to escape you."
Another blond man, not as tall as Zechs but still a giant in the braided man's eyes, patted Duo's shoulder. "Oh, Duo, I'm so sorry." His voice was full of sincere regret. "I know that this time you held out such hope..."
Duo raised his hand and waved it, his head still lying on the hard wood. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, Quat." He let his hand drop, then sighed. "Why can't I just find a nice-"
"Hey, midget. No luck again, huh?" The cheery voice interrupted Duo's whining.
This time Duo did raise his head, only to glare at the waitress, who stopped by their booth, chewing her gum and grinning openly. "Who are you calling a midget, Hil?"
The girl blew a big bubble, then popped it. "Oh, I think a friend of mine who is... what? Half a foot shorter than me, a mere girl?"
Duo groaned and let his head fall onto the table with a thud.
"That was low, darling," said the grinning brown-haired man, probably the oldest of the small group.
"Was not, Treize," she retorted, then patted her best friend on the head. "He's a midget and will stay a midget, so it's time he got used to it." Duo's hand shot up and he swatted Hilde away, the dark-haired girl just smiled at him merrily, though. "So, what was he? The stool or the ladder category?"
Duo sighed, raised his head and dropped it into his palms. "Stool AND ladder."
"You poor thing..." she cooed. "That bad?"
"Yeah, when I tried to hug him, I feared his dick would poke out my eye," he answered with a disgusted snort. "Aren't there any normal-sized guys out there anymore?"
"We ARE the normal-sized guys," said the long-banged boy in the corner and pointed a half-eaten fry at Duo. "It's you who got the short end of the stick during puberty... no pun intended... maybe."
Duo snorted and didn't deign Trowa's comment worth an answer. "I mean, I tried everything and even the blind dates failed. If I wasn't so horny, I would have just given up already!"
"Then why don't you look around, sugar?" Hilde asked, pouring them all another mug of coffee.
"Yeah? And where if I may ask?" he turned to her.
She rolled her eyes and waved the hand that held the coffee pot around, coming dangerously close to scalding the guests sitting around. "Well, you ARE in Howard's Gay Grill, after all."
Duo sighed. True. Howard's Gay Grill was THE refuge of all gays in the town, but so far he didn't have any luck even here. Even Howard - a sixty year-old flower child, that still lived in the Woodstock era - gave up on him already.
Completely lost in his thoughts, he almost didn't hear the bell on the door jingle. Just like always though, he reacted automatically and turned around to see if MAYBE this time his Prince Charming was waiting at the door. And he almost toppled from his chair because...
There, at the door... the most beautiful, the most exotic, the most sexy... the shortest guy he had ever seen stood. He felt his jaw hit the floor.
"Oh. My. God," Zechs said, his eyes bulging. "I have seen a miracle and can die happy."
"What? What?" Everybody looked around then to the door where Zechs was pointing.
"There IS someone shorter than Duo in the world after all."
The Japanese man moved from the door to the bar where Howard was polishing the glasses and had a word with the old man. Howard pointed toward their table and the young man in a blue shirt and blue cap bearing the logo of some company headed to their table.
Quatre nudged his friend in the ribs. "Here comes your chance... literally," he added in a hushed voice.
Duo would have rolled his eyes at him, if he wasn't so busy drooling and disrobing the exotic man with his eyes. And when sex on legs stepped to him and opened his mouth to actually address him, Duo couldn't believe his luck.
"Sir, could you..."
"Of course, I can!" Duo interrupted him, jumped to his feet and pounced, sealing the other's lips with his own.
In the face of a horny Duo, the poor guy didn't stand a chance.
~*~
It was much, much later when Heero, the object of Duo's desire, admitted to his lover that back then in the bar, he only wanted to ask if Duo could move his car a bit since he had parked it right in front of the delivery entrance. But after ten years together, a marriage in Canada, three dogs, two cats and one gold fish... it really didn't matter, did it?
OWARI
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