Author: KatiKat
Warnings: A silly and christmassy AU!
Rating: PG
Pairings: 1+2, 3+4
Archives: KatiKat and Friends
Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply here.
Notes: My big thank you goes to my wonderful beta Lucid Nightmare.
Notes2: Oh yes, the obligatory Christmas fic! :D This one has been sitting on my puter for over two years but now it's finished. Hopefully, you will like it :)
Santa's Elf
The crashing sound coming out of the living room shocked Heero out of his silent musing and caused him to almost spill the scotch he was pouring himself at the moment. Heero laid the bottle back on the table and frowned. He knew that he was alone on the ground floor - Trowa, Heero's brother, was up in his bedroom with his lover Quatre and Quatre himself had told him that the servants had the day off so that they could celebrate Christmas Eve with their families.
'If that was thieves, then it would be the perfect ending for a screwed up evening,' he thought to himself in annoyance. He was really tempted to let it be and stay there with his bottle to play the silent companion. But then he stood up with a sigh deciding to check it out - he had to defend Quatre's property after all. Maybe if it were really thieves, the evening could end with some action and break him out of his depressed mood. Heero drank down the almost full glass in one gulp and leaving the bottle and the glass standing on the table in the cozy study that he used as his office while spending time at Quatre's mansion. He tightened the belt of his midnight blue bathrobe and made his way over to the living room.
He stepped out of the room where he was hiding from the world and walked down the dimly lit corridor to its end where the big living room lay. His slippers didn't make any sound on the thick carpet, so he didn't even bother to try to sneak around. The thought that it wouldn't be very wise to face the possible intruders clad only in silk pajamas and a bathrobe didn't even occur to him.
Heero stopped in the open door and looked around the living room lit only by the happily blinking lights on the big Christmas tree. At first he couldn't see anything or anybody, but then a small movement over at the fireplace caught his eye and he squinted to see better in the darkness of the room. What he saw made him make a double take and raise his eyebrows.
The figure of the intruder was not *at* the fireplace. It was *in* the fireplace. He - or was it she? He really couldn't tell - was clad in forest green leggings, green shirt, red pointed shoes and - if he saw correctly - a silly pointed red hat. He couldn't see the figure's face because he (Heero decided that it would probably be *him*) was sitting inside the fireplace, only his long legs sticking out of it, his clothes stained with ashes, soot and melting snow. He was obviously trying to scramble up onto his feet while cursing like a sailor.
Heero coughed a little to get the intruder's attention. The figure - Heero still didn't know if it was young or old - jumped up in surprise and hit it's head against the fireplace's lodge. "Oww!" he - yes, it was definitely a him - cried out and crawled out of the small place on all fours before sitting down on his heels and rubbing his forehead. "Why did ya do that? Don't ya know it's not nice to sneak up on people when they're not looking? Ya could have given me a heart attack!" the man accused him with annoyance.
Heero's eyebrows moved up again, nearly reaching his hair line. An annoyed thief accusing him of doing harm to him? That was... refreshing, Heero decided. Finally something new. Maybe this evening won't be as boring as he feared it would. Then he looked at the man's face more closely and his jaw hit the floor.
It wasn't a man. It was a boy, barely eighteen at the most he would guess. He had a heart shaped face, flawless skin, huge deep violet eyes, upturned nose and pouty lips. He had a long rope of braided chestnut hair in which pieces of half burned wood and long tree needles currently stuck. But what surprised him the most were the pointed ears. Small, cute looking points. He heard about masked thieves but this was ridiculous.
The boy stopped rubbing his forehead when he noticed Heero's shocked stare. "What are you looking at?" he asked with a frown. He looked around himself to find the source of the human's surprise and found nothing.
"What?" he asked again.
Okay, Heero wanted something to happen, but this... 'You should stop staring and do something. He broke into your house after all,' he reminded himself. Collecting his wits, he moved down the three steps into the room. Stopping near the figure that was still sitting on the carpet - white carpet! - covered floor, he propped his hands on his hips and frowning, asked: "What are you doing here?"
The wannabe-elf looked up in surprise. "Huh? I think it's obvious."
"It is?" Heero inquired further although he had to admit his annoyance started to fade. Annoyance, he realized, not anger. Funny, he wasn't angry at the guy for breaking in. He was actually glad the boy offered him a distraction from an evening that nearly turned into more useless pondering about his non-existent love life.
"Of course it is," answered the boy in a voice people used to talk to children or the mentally retarded. "I fell down through your chimney of course."
'Okay,' Heero thought, 'this could take a while.' "And why did you fall down through my chimney?" His patience seemed to be endless.
Heero was surprised to see the boy actually blush and lower his eyes. "Well, uhm... this was, well..."
"Yes?"
"Okay, Santa kicked me out of his sleigh when we were flying above your house. Satisfied?" The boy stood and glared at him, crossing his arms over his chest.
Hm, either the boy was the best actor he had ever seen or he was delusional. Or maybe Heero had a little too much to drink this evening, and this was not even happening. Maybe it's just a silly dream and he will wake up in the morning with a hell of a hangover and feeling like he had eaten cotton balls last night.
Heero sighed. This distraction was taking a quick turn into the weird zone. "Let me get this straight, okay? You are an elf, and because you are a loudmouthed idiot, Santa Claus kicked you out of his sleigh and you fell through my chimney into my fireplace. Is that correct?" He prayed that he misunderstood the boy.
But the elf gave him a brilliant smile of excitement. He clapped his hands together and began jumping up and down with barely suppressed energy, causing black droplets of water to drip down on the once snow white carpet. He nodded. "Exactly."
"I think I need a drink," Heero said. "Then I will call an ambulance and tell them that there is a patient waiting for them in this house. I don't know if it will be you or me, but one of us is in serious need of psychiatric treatment."
The longhaired boy pouted. "You don't believe me!"
"No, I don't."
He threw his arms in the air. "Why not? Don't tell me you don't believe in Santa Claus and elves. That's blasphemy!" he cried out in horror and looked at Heero as if he had grown another head. "You didn't even make a wish?" he asked incredulously.
Heero started to shake his head to tell the wannabe-elf that no, he didn't make a wish but then he stopped himself. Wait a minute. Wish? He really did make a wish this year after Quatre talked him into it, repeating over and over again a lecture about Christmas traditions. What did he wish for? If he remembered right, it went something like "I wish to find somebody whom I could love and who would love me back. Who would fill the quiet of this house. Who would bring something new and refreshing into my life. ". But... he didn't believe that it would be fulfilled. He didn't believe in Santa Claus anymore. He just said it to satisfy Quatre.
Heero coughed a little to cover his distraction. He still didn't believe this boy's tale. "Okay, let's just say that I *might* believe your story, okay?" Seeing the boy's face brighten up, he reminded him hurriedly: "I *might* believe it, understand? But then, could you explain to me why Santa Claus kicked you out of his sleigh?"
The wannabe-elf sighed. "Well, actually I'm not sure. He mumbled something about a wish made in this house and taking care of two things at once or something... I think he might have been a little bit annoyed by my talking," he admitted, his face turning a deep shade of red.
Heero blinked. This... couldn't be right. A wish? That was... ridiculous... wasn't it?
The boy's eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute. A wish... did you make some idiotic wish that brought me into this mess?" He waved his arms around and frowned at Heero.
Now it was time for Heero to blush. "Well...." he started, then shuffled his feet, but stopped immediately when he realized what he was doing. He glared at the elf in annoyance and crossed his arms over his chest. "And what if I did? I sure as hell didn't wish for such a noisy brat as you!"
"What?!" exclaimed the boy and jumped to his feet. He propped his hands on his hips and leaned forward slightly, so that the long rope of hair fell over his shoulder and dangled down his chest. "You... you... boor!" spat the elf, obviously unable to find anything ruder at the moment.
Before Heero could answer to the offense, a sleepy voice sounded from the stairs: "What's going on here?"
The occupants of the living room turned around, meeting the startled eyes of two young men - one tall and dark-haired, the other slightly shorter and blond. They watched them for a moment, their eyes growing larger as they took in the mess on the white carpet, Heero's state of undress but especially the 'intruder's' appearance.
"Santa's elf?" asked Quatre in disbelief.
The dark cloud disappeared from the elf's face, a bright beam replacing it. "Yes! A true believer!" he crowed, clapping his hands in joy. "See? I told ya!" Heero snorted and rolled his eyes. The elf frowned at him again after that, his mouth twisting in annoyance. "Hey, you don't need to turn your nose up at me, you stuffed shirt! You obviously got what you wished for. We don't accept returns!"
"Wished for? Return?" stammered Quatre, confused about the whole thing.
When Heero only grimaced and stayed silent, the elf walked up to him, leaving black foot prints on the white carpet. "Yeah, this... jackass... obviously wished to meet a special 'someone' and to Santa it seemed like a great joke to make ME-" he pointed at himself, "-the indispensable Duo, the gift, so he kicked me out of his sleigh just when we were flying above this house. And so I played the chimney-sweeper for you." He looked down at himself and exclaimed again, horrified: "By all the holy reindeers! Look at me! My costume is ruined!" He tried to dust himself off, veiling himself in a cloud of dark grey ash.
Heero sidestepped, raising his hands in protest. "Hey! Cut it out! It's your fault anyway!"
The elf stopped clapping his clothes and the cloud settled a bit - on the white carpet of course - his eyes bulged. "M... my fault?" he almost shrieked, the pointed end of his hat bouncing on his head. "Is it my fault that you are too much of a skinflint to hire a chimney sweep?!"
Heero propped his hands on his hips. "Well, if you had knocked on the door, I would have opened it for you. I'm so~o sorry for not expecting my guests to use the shorter route and go through the chimney!" His voice was angry, words spat out.
"You...!"
Suddenly, Quatre laughed and clapped his hands merrily, bouncing on the stairs. The arguing men fell silent and turned to the blond one in surprise. "Terrific!" Quatre called out, grinning. "You are just perfect for each other!" He beamed at them, ignoring the shocked stares they gave him.
"Are you nuts?" Heero shouted and shook his fist at his friend. "You can't..."
"What?!" Duo cried out, his arms flailing. "That's so wrong..."
And above the house the jingles sang and the merry laughter of one content Santa Claus echoed through the crisp cold air. Another wish fulfilled.
OWARI
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