The Claim Part 11
Duo's life changed considerably over the next couple of weeks. Not being bedridden anymore, he participated more in the life in and around the hut. He learned how to cook with the barest minimum, how to skin the dead wolves Heero brought home now and then, how to make arrows and keep the weapons clean and other things that opened a whole new world to him.
Up until now he had always been the son of the chieftain, always in plain sight to be observed and judged by the other villagers. For the first time in his life though, he now had his own household away from prying eyes, a mate he cared for deeply and even a dog. Not being able to mop for too long, Duo threw himself in his new duties with enthusiasm and tried to make the best of it.
He didn't forget his dead child though. Heero showed him the place where Trowa buried the small fetus. It was right behind the house, under a big oak tree. Duo couldn't have found a better place for his child to rest. Often when he felt lonely, despite his fervor and the happy face he gave, he went to visit the small grave and he talked to his child. He had done the same thing with his da when he died many years ago. Sitting by the grave, plucking the leaves away, just made him feel kind of closer to his next of kin, who weren't there anymore.
His relationship with Heero didn't change much though. Not from the lack of wanting on both sides, though. But Heero was aware of how vulnerable Duo still was, that he was still getting settled in his new life. And even though Duo wanted something more, even if it should be just a little kiss, he didn't feel confident enough to take their relationship a step further. And so they decided to wait and move forward in baby steps. Waking up in each other's arms slowly became a normal thing, a thing both of them craved, for they welcomed a human touch, the warmth of it - Duo, as a lifebearer, felt a natural need for being close to others, to touch and be touched; and Heero... since there hadn't been much human kindness in his life ever since his father died, he basked in the attention someone was giving him and only him. He wouldn't admit it though of course, being such a strong and hard Enforcer. Heero's outward indifference made Duo smile. He didn't fear the Enforcer. He hadn't feared him before either, but now that he knew what a caring and good-hearted person he was, Duo felt more at ease in his company.
There was only one thing that kept intruding on Duo's peaceful state of mind. And that was the question of if he would ever be able to have children again. It had been over a month since he lost his child, and his monthly bleeding still didn't come. Every time Trowa visited them, he assured Duo that the lifebearer just had to be patient, that his body went through a great deal of stress from which it must recover first. But the lifebearer couldn't help but get more and more depressed with each passing day when there was no change. He knew what it meant when the bleeding didn't come. No bleeding meant no children. He didn't know if Heero even wanted a family, but Duo always wanted a big family with a lot of children, laughter and happiness. He hoped that it could become Heero's dream too. But now, it was more and more likely that this was just another dream that wouldn't come true for Duo.
And as the days passed, the depression turned into crankiness. Duo's short temper flared up more often too and even though Heero did his best to be patient and understanding, it was obvious that it was grating on his nerves too.
And then the autumn turned into winter and the first snow fall became a heavy cover of sparkling white.
~*~
"I'll be going now," Heero said, throwing a bow over his shoulder.
Duo, bent over the cooking pot, just waved him off with a 'whatever' gesture. His crankiness seemed to reach its highest point that day, making Duo edgy and nervous, snapping at everything and everybody.
Heero sighed and started for the door. Seeing Shinigami pad after him, he reached out and patted the black head. "You're staying here," the Enforcer told the dog. Shinigami looked at the closed door and whined almost silently. When his Master didn't budge, he sighed and went back to lie down by the bed again.
"Why don't you take him with you?" asked Duo after witnessing the whole scene. He straightened and placed his hands on his hips. In his left hand, he still held a large spoon he used to stir the meat, from which the spicy smelling sauce kept dripping to the floor unnoticed.
"You know why, Duo," Heero said, one hand on the handle of the wooden door. "He stays here to protect you."
The lifebearer frowned. "Shaggy is a hunting dog. He can't stay in all the time and just watch the dust settle. And I'm not stupid to go out wandering through the woods." Suddenly he scowled at Heero. "Do you think I'm stupid?" he asked, suspiciously narrowing his eyes.
Sensing another argument hanging in the air, Heero raised his hands in surrender. "No, of course not." He looked at the dog, then back at Duo. Sighing again, he decided to give in. "Okay, Duo. I'll take him with me. But you have to promise me that you won't-"
"Yeah, yeah. I won't go out in the woods. No forest without you accompanying me, for there is a big bad wolf waiting to munch on me." Duo waved the spoon around, splashing the sauce in every direction.
Heero's eyes narrowed. "I mean it, Duo. This is not a joke. Just because I didn't find the beast's paw prints anywhere near the hut these last couple of days, doesn't mean that the danger is over."
The Enforcer's voice was hard and cold as steel.
Duo sighed and looked away. "I know that, Heero," he said quietly. "I don't take it lightly. As I said, I'm not an idiot."
Heero watched him a moment longer, then turned around and opened the door. "Come on, boy," he called the dog, clapping his hand against his thigh.
Shinigami raised his head from his paws, his ears standing straight. Hearing Heero call his name again, he jumped to his feet and dashed out of the hut, happy to be outside again.
Duo watched Heero close the door, then listened to the footsteps crunch in the fresh snow. He leaned his forehead against the wooden ledge of the fireplace and sighed deeply. He knew he was being unreasonable and rude and overall not the best companion, but he couldn't help it. A strange, unsettling feeling overcame him these last couple of days and he couldn't shake that feeling off no matter what he did. Not even his talks with his child helped anymore. He felt edgy and nervous, and he ached all over and he felt hot and he felt like crying and... he was mad as hell at everybody and since Heero was the only other person nearby, the Enforcer became the target of Duo's bad moods. He was in a really uncomfortable state of mind and it went so far that he really thought about asking Trowa what was wrong with him.
Duo took a deep breath and let it out slowly in an attempt to calm down his frayed nerves. That was when he smelled it. His eyes shot open and he bent down to the cooking pot quickly. Deep grey smoke was rising out of the pot. The sauce had cooked out, and even the meat was more similar to a black piece of coal than any food they might eat that evening.
Cursing loudly, Duo quickly caught the handle of the pot, to take it away from the fire. He screamed as the hot metal burnt his palm. Suddenly overcome with rage, he kicked the pot so hard that the black kettle flew of the hook and out of the fireplace, only to land by the bed.
Breathing deeply, the lifebearer watched the mess he had made, clutching his hand to his chest. And then it was too much. Everything was simply too much for him. He sank to his knees, his head half way to the ground, and started to sob. With his tears, he tried to cleanse his soul of the frustration and anguish, that accumulated deep inside him.
He didn't know how long he was crouched there on the cold floor, but when the tears finally subsided, his knees hurt and legs were cramping. And his leggings were wet, making the cloth cling to his skin. It made him shiver.
Gods, I'm pathetic, he thought to himself.
He rubbed his cheeks with his right hand, drying the tears with his sleeve. Through his red, swollen eyes he looked at his burned left hand. He sighed out in relief. It wasn't that bad, there weren't even blisters, the skin looked only a little red. He should really be more careful. The last thing he needed was to become more of a burden to Heero.
Propping himself on the desk of the table, he scrambled to his feet, his joints popping in the process. He looked around, taking in the disarray he caused. He should take care of that and start a new meal for dinner. Heero will be hungry when he comes back.
As he moved across the room and picked up the blackened pot, he felt the wet leggings cling to his naked skin. He needed to change into something dry, but first he would pour water on the burned remains of their dinner. If it dried like that, he would never get the rest off. So he set the pot by the fire, picked up the wooden bucket and poured the rest of the water into the bad smelling kettle. Satisfied, he set the empty bucket down and moved to the chest to change. He should better hurry up, since he had a lot of work to do.
But when he unlaced his leggings and pushed them down his legs, he froze, the breath catching in his throat. The soft grey pants were blackened with dark crimson red. Biting his lower lip, not daring to hope, he reached down and ran his hand over his buttocks. It came back stained with blood.
The lifebearer blinked a couple of times, then started to laugh. He laughed so hard that his knees buckled and he almost fell. Blood. He was bleeding. That meant... He still could have a family. Children of his own. He laughed and laughed, tears running down his face again, but this time it was the tears of joy, not of sadness. Everything made sense now. His crankiness, the strange aching feeling centering in his lower back, everything. He had never been so happy to get his monthly bleeding. Never before. Duo's bright eyes closed. He couldn't wait to tell Heero.
~*~
A couple of minutes later, dressed in dry pants, he sighed out happily and hugged himself. He had the feeling, as if he could dance around the room. With every move, he felt the soft padding against the back of his pants. He grinned, remembering how he found the padding, every lifebearer learned to make with the first bleeding, in the bundle his brother sent him. He could imagine how embarrassed Solo must have been while packing such an intimate thing for him. Poor Solo. Duo grinned again. His older brother had always been embarrassed by the small things surrounding the mystery of every lifebearer. He didn't feel at all sorry for his brother.
Giving out another happy sigh, Duo bent down and picked the stained pants. Looking at the slowly drying blood, he frowned. If he didn't wash it soon, he would never get the stains out of the fabric. And these were his favourite pants.
He looked at the empty bucket by the fire and an idea formed in his head. No, he promised Heero not to go into the woods, he chastised himself. Well, the stream is actually not in the woods, a silent voice in the back of his mind reminded him. Yeah, the stream was bubbling just a couple of steps from the hut. If he hurried up, he would be back really quickly. And besides, he would need the water to make dinner anyway.
Duo hesitated a moment longer, fighting with himself, then just gave in. He hung the pants over the back of one of the chairs, then crossed the room and picked up the bucket. When he stopped by the door, he took a deep breath and cracked it open the smallest bit.
Looking out, he carefully scanned the clearing around the house. Heero's and Shinigami's footprints were the only ones in sight. He opened the door a little more and slipped out, leaving the door open behind himself.
The cold hit him like a slap in the face. White puffs of steam came from his nose as he quickly started for the stream nearby. The fresh snow was crunching under his feet and he didn't even realize that the sound of his feet burrowing into the deep snow, was the only sound to be heard in the otherwise completely silent forest.
His eyes still scanning his surroundings, he crouched by the ice cold stream. He looked down at the running water, searching for the deepest spot to fill the pail. Bending low, he let the bucket sink into the sloshing current. The water splashed around as the bucket hit the water and Duo shuddered, feeling the droplets hit his skin. He should have taken a coat, or at least Heero's woolen vest. His wet hands were freezing and so he was really happy when the bucket was finally full. The prospect of returning back into the warm hut, made him quiver with impatience to be inside already.
Duo straightened, holding the heavy bucket in both of his hands, then lifted his head and...
... froze. There, just across the stream, the largest wolf he had ever seen was standing, his teeth bared in a silent snarl.
TBC...
Only two more chapters to go. Yay! Thank you so much to everybody who reviewed. I really really appreciate it!
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