Author: Karen, The Huntress
Pairings: 1x2
Warnings: None really, just a generous amount of sap, songfic.
Archive: DHML Archive
Rating: PG
Feedback: Always appreciated.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters. The song, "The Rose", belongs to Amanda McBroom.
The Rose
Some say love is like a river that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love is like a razor that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love is like a hunger an endless aching need.
I say love is like a flower and you its only seed.
*********
Duo's POV
I don't know when I first realized that Heero meant more to me than just a friend. I guess the change from comrade to companion came in slow degrees until one day the realization sank in. I knew that sex would come long before the love, but I suppose that was all I needed at the time. I even resigned myself to the possibility that Heero might never be able to fully commit to a relationship. In the beginning it was hard to read Heero's feelings. He continued to call me baka and delivery his usual "death glares". But I often felt that the name-calling and sight threats were a halfhearted defense mechanism to shield his confused emotions.
I have witnessed Yuy in action. Seen him take Wing Zero into the heat of battle with no focus other than the enemy's total defeat. It was not that he was suicidal in the true sense of the word but his life meant nothing in the overall picture. I believe early in the war when he self-destructed that act was completely mission originated, that he saw no other option. That doesn't make his decision right and certainly not sane, but that is Heero's combat style, win at any cost.
As the battles wore on the entire Gundam team was transformed. We evolved from idealistic teenagers sworn to save the colonies to little more than mercenaries used by power hungry bastards to further their careers and bring glory to failing military leaders. The reasons for fighting became blurred. Slowly the winning was not as important as our survival.
For the first time I looked to the future and someone to share it with. Slowly Heero became my savior, an anchor in a swelling tide of destruction. A healer to bind my wounded heart as the killing cut deep and the scarlet flowed freely. He was my portion of peace when death was the only bread on the table. No I don't know when it happened but somewhere between my loss of innocence and my rebirth as Shinigami, Heero Yuy became my lover. Now he is the seed planted in my soul that will grow into an entrusted flower whose love with never fade.
*********
It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes a chance.
It's the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.
*********
Heero's POV
I don't know when I first realized that Duo meant more to me than just a friend. In the beginning the war was all that was important. Saving the colonies, the power hungry warmonger's destruction was all that mattered. My life was but a cog in the military machine with Wing Zero my means to bring about the enemy's defeat. My sole purpose was winning and the personal cost was trivial in the overall picture.
I have witnessed Duo in action. Seen how the easygoing and sometimes irritating baka could, at the battle call, transform from youthful innocence to the Grim Reaper's efficient servant, the self-declared Shinigami. As our team changed, shed our optimistic beliefs and took on the soldier's mantle, I found that I began to question my training's absolute resolve. I slowly started to look for something beyond the conflict, anything that made sense in my warring world's insanity. Then in meager degrees I began to realize that Duo Maxwell was my salvation.
Despite my often harsh words and even harsher behavior he did not give up on me. When I threw up shields to guard my heart he found a way around every barrier. When the battle horrors invaded my sleep, when the night terrors grabbed hold with icy tentacles that tore into my soul I would wake in his arms. He knew I was using him. Sex not love was then my driving force. I always did the taking and Duo the giving but he never complained even when I knew his heart was breaking. For so long I denied my emotions, was not willing to trust Duo with my heart. But through his persistence, his unconditional love, Duo showed me that if I never risked possible emotional pain that I could never truly learn to live.
I don't know when it happened but somewhere between letting go of my fear and learning to trust Duo taught me how to live. He became the music by which my heart learned to dance. He became the peace that banished my war dreams and saved my soul from senseless dying. Gradually satisfying my needs turned into concern for Duo's feelings. Lust changed to trust and now I am free.
*********
When the night had been too lonely and the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong.
Just remember in the winter far beneath the winter snows,
Lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes a rose.
*********
Duo's and Heero's POV
We are not sure when we first realized that we loved each other. By gradual degrees we felt the connection begin to grow. During the war, the destruction, we tried to hide from the misery in each other's arms. Fleshy gratification eased the stress but did not sooth our soul's trembling.
Forces set in motions long before our birth had controlled our pasts. Greed, the primal thirst for power, shaped our futures. The colony's cry for freedom called up the combat while the dreams of conquest fueled the war.
Our nocturnal journey into the senseless conflict became a never ending maze. The path of peace a lonely road to nowhere. We put on our soldier masks, hid away our conscience and offered false courage to our souls. But somewhere in the cold darkness, as a blanket of blood-tainted snow shrouded our hearts, we found a seed of hope. In that vessel of rebirth we made our commitment. Together trust's warmth melted our frigid fears. Just as red rose represents passion, a delicate blend of beauty and strength, so our commitment continues to grow in peace's spring season.
OWARI
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