A Reason for Living Part 14
Promises and Plans
Slim shafts of sunlight streaked over the bedroom. In gradual degrees Heero's senses began to wake up. Warmth radiating over his arm was the first sensation then his hearing registered soft breathing near his ear. His nose picked up a second scent reaffirming that Duo was still sharing the bed.
His eyes, however, were a bit reluctant to cooperate. Eyelids squeezed together tightly in protest against the sunrise's unwelcome intrusion. He cracked open one cobalt orb just enough to watch random patterns of light flutter on the ceiling. Then the other eye cautiously took a peek and decided that the brightness wasn't too harsh.
Heero's initial effort to roll from back to side was defeated by stubborn, inflexible muscles that caught along his spine and caused him to cringe. He braced one elbow and tried again. Finally the change of position was accomplished by painfully slow, deliberately calculated movements that allowed him to see his bedmate.
Duo was curled up on his side. An exposed shoulder's creamy skin was tinted pink by the dawn's rosy rays. One hand was tucked under his chin. His other hand barely touched Heero's arm but his fingertips generated enough heat to be keen felt.
Feathery bangs caressed Duo's forehead and tangled in his long eyelashes. The lower half of his braid snaked over the coverlet in a frayed rope of chestnut. His face mirrored utter contentment and a small smile tugged at his mouth.
For a several long minutes Heero did nothing but gaze at Duo's serene countenance which caused him to wonder if his braided bedmate was having a pleasant dream. Without thinking he reached over and bushed stray stands from Duo's cheek. The gentle contact widened the smile. A sigh escaped over Duo's parted lips then his eyes opened and Heero found himself drowning in a sea of violet.
Heero stared for a moment more before blinking to break the captivating trance. "Good morning." he whispered so as not to disturb the comforting quiet.
Duo took his own adjusting moment to wake up. "Mornin'" he replied in the same softly whispered tone. "What time is it?"
The simple lifting of Heero's arm to see his watch caused him to wince as more muscles expressed their objections. "6:45." he announced then carefully lowered the sore extremity.
Duo yawned and rubbed his palms over his eyes to chase away the remnants of sleep. "Good it's not too late."
"Too late for what?" Heero questioned the odd statement.
"Last night after you fell asleep I called Wufei." Duo explained, "I told him we would come to the Bureau this morning and I didn't want to be rushed."
Heero moved again and paid dearly for his efforts. Duo frowned in sympathy at 01's obvious discomfort. "You need a hot shower to relax your muscles then a good breakfast. Wufei can wait awhile." he decided leaving no doubt that the morning routine would not be a topic of discussion.
For the first time in over a year someone's reaction to Heero's scar was not considered as he issued an invitation. "Would you like to share the shower?"
"Can I trust you?"
Heero leaned closer, blue sparks flashed in his eyes. "I'll be a perfect gentleman."
*********
Steam hugged the walls and fogged the bathroom mirror. Twin silhouettes encased in misty vapors moved behind the shower curtain. True to his word Heero demonstrated proper decorum and thus earned the privilege to help wash Duo's hair.
Heero stood behind Duo and took great care with the shampooing. Duo backed into the shower spray and rinsed. Of course this maneuver gave Heero an excellent view of both Duo's frontal and rear attributes. The trustworthy agent then followed up with a generous amount of conditioner and the rinsing process was repeated.
But to Heero's surprise it was Duo who proved to be cunning. Squeezing out a large dollop of shower gel the freshly shampooed man rubbed the soap into a lather and smeared frothy bubbles all over Heero's chest.
Although drenched in pleasantly warm water a slight shiver tingled through Heero's body and in spite of the increased humidity goose bumps popped up on his skin. Duo's flattened palms moved in compact circles, his slick fingertips made a point to trace over first one nipple then the other until both nubs became rigid.
Opposite of Heero's adherence to his promised gentlemanly behavior Duo made no pretense of his lustful intentions as he turned his attention to his own chest. His hands followed the same patterns but he let them explore further over his stomach stopping just short of his rapidly rising manhood.
Heero stood motionless transfixed by Duo's wandering hands, his eyes were held spellbound by the sensuous scene unfolding before him. With a glimmer of violet Duo locked his sight on Heero's face and studied his reaction. "Do you like what you see?" he purred stilling his hands to gauge the change in Heero's expression.
All Heero could do was nod "yes" and swallow the lump in his throat.
"Then you will enjoy this." Duo declared. He stepped closer, wrapped his arms around Heero's waist and decreased the distance until his and Heero's bodies were pressed together. Using the soap's lubrication to his advantage Duo moved against Heero's equally slippery skin.
Even devoid of the usual friction Heero quickly became hard. He closed his eyes savoring the sensation of skin against skin. Then his eyes opened with a start and a hiss of air punctuated his surprise as Duo's hands slid down his back and cupped under his ass.
01 was held hostage by gripping hands on his trim buttock and a fully aroused penis on his front. Duo guided Heero backward until the wet, warm tile wall met his back. Now there was no escape but Heero wasn't certain that he wanted to flee from the overwhelmingly powerful urges pelting him like rain during a thunderstorm.
Duo raised up and captured Heero's slightly trembling lips. The kiss was forceful and demanding and the grinding of manhood on manhood added fuel to the fire. Heero slipped his arms over Duo's shoulders and answered the kiss with feverish reciprocation.
"Hummm." Duo's lips vibrated against Heero's lips before breaking the kiss that left the Japanese agent breathless. Heero's legs became wobbly causing him to use the wall and his grasp around Duo's shoulders for additional support.
There was a devilish gleam in Duo's eyes that clearly showed his intension to take the foreplay to the next level. His tongue flickered over his lips and his enlarged member twitched in anticipation.
Heero lost his virginity long ago and had engaged in many sexual encounters with women and a few with men but he had never been brought so close to pure ecstasy as he was right now. This was not merely going through the motions for duty's sake or an exercise in stress relief. Now his heart hammered, his knees were weak and labored breaths pounded in his chest.
Suddenly Heero experienced something as near to having an attack of conscience as he had in a long time. He was not questioning the ethics of Duo's copulative connotations and he certainly had not turned into a saint but this time something was different.
This time Heero actually cared about Duo's feelings. This time...he didn't want sex with empty emotions that was ruled by animal instincts. "Duo wait." he begged pushing to put some distant between him and the beautiful man.
Heero had to think and he couldn't make his brain cooperate as long as his blood supply was rerouted to his lower regions. With a shaky sigh he raked wet hair from his eyes then sucked in a centering breath.
A mixture of puzzlement and disappointment showed on Duo's face but he made no attempt to encourage Heero by any additional actions. "What's wrong?"
Heero opened his mouth then closed it. He didn't know what to say or how to explain his shift in attitude from willing desire to confusing compassion. His mind raced to put his feelings into understandable language but how could he express emotions in words?
He debated whether to use a chaste kiss to tell Duo how he felt but that would be even more bewildering. No, sending mixed signals was not the answered. "I'm sorry." was all he could offer in explanation.
Duo tilted his head and took a moment to study Heero's face. There was sadness in Agent 01's eyes that was perplexing. Duo had only been with Heero for three days but he had already witnessed the IPB agent's resolve and fearlessness in the face of danger. Heero had not hesitated to kill in self-defense and there was no doubt that he could take out a target without remorse if the mission dictated such an action.
"Tell me what's wrong." Duo insisted then added to the urging by gently stoking Heero's arm.
Heero slumped against the wall then slid down until he was sitting on the shower floor. Duo turned off the stinging spray and squatted down in front of Heero. "Tell me."
"As much as I want to love you it's not fair." was Heero's odd reply.
"Fair?" Duo questioned, "If we want the same thing how can it not be fair?"
Heero gazed up and tears joined the moisture on his cheeks. "I don't know what will happen when we get to the lodge. I can't promise that I will survive this mission. I can't promise..."A heavy sigh interrupted the words. "promise you a future with me."
Duo ran his finger lightly down Heero's cheek and let it linger on his chin. "The past is gone and the future is beyond our control, the only thing we have is the present." He lifted Heero's face until he could look lovingly into shimmering cobalt eyes. "Just promise me this moment, that's all I want."
"Would you hate me if I asked you to wait?"
Duo leaned closer and placed a brushing kiss on Heero's quivering lips. "I could never hate you. I don't know if what I am feeling now is love but I do know that I care for you and your happiness. If you want me to wait I will for as long as it takes you to be comfortable."
Heero choked back a renewed urge to cry. "Thank you for your understanding. I promise I won't make you wait too long."
"We will not speak of this again until you are ready." Duo answered then sealed the promise with his own consoling kiss. "I'm going to get dressed and braid my hair then fix a decent breakfast. You take your time and join me when you're ready."
Duo stepped out of the shower, put on a cotton robe, wrapped a towel around his hair and handed a second robe to Heero. With an empathic nod he closed the door and left Heero to ponder his place in Duo Maxwell's life.
*********
Heero Yuy, Agent 01. 0...zero...the sum of nothing. 1...single...solitary...alone.
Heero huddled on the shower floor like a child lost in the darkness. The robe creased as he hands curled around the white material and the soft fabric muffled his sobs as he gave up his solitary charade that he didn't need anyone else.
Over Heero's many years with the International Preventer Bureau he had purposely chose to be alone. He wanted it that way or so he believed, then it made sense. By himself he didn't have to acknowledge his feelings. Alone he could do his duty without being concerned for another person's safety or happiness. He could guard his heart from the entanglements of love and use sex for nothing more than a few hours of distraction.
Now Heero's singularity was being challenged, his unaccompanied concerns for self suddenly seemed so selfish. "Damn you Duo." he cursed the man who had turned his entire world upside down.
But Heero knew that the blame for his weakness rested solely with him. It was his fault that he had allowed Duo sway over his carefully guarded emotions. He had no one but himself to blame for the bittersweet pain that ached in his heart or the fact that he didn't want that pain to go away. After so many years he finally felt something besides utter bareness in his soul.
"Duo why did you force me feel? Why after so long?"
Pulling on the robe 01 wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and steeled his emotions. He promised Duo that he would soon decided if he was willing to surrender his heart but first the present assignment called for his undivided attention. If he and his fellow agents failed to plan properly, the mission would also fail then his and Duo's future could very well be decided for them.
*********
Heero braced his hands on the sink and stared into the mirror. The bruises on his face had begun to fade. The injection site on his arm was still tender but the swelling had gone down leaving behind a tattletale puncture mark and reddish discoloration.
"I'm getting too old for this shit." he thought. But then he reckoned that the odds of reaching retirement age probably wouldn't improve anytime soon.
Dark stubble made Heero look rougher around the edges than usual and dark circles gave him a worn appearance. "You really are pathetic." he mumbled before spreading on an even coat of shaving gel.
A razor made quick work of his emerging beard. As Heero rinsed off the razor he wondered what he would look like with a beard. Once he had started a mustache but the growing out stage was so itchy that he gave up after a week. Clean shaven...yeah that was the way to go.
While Heero dressed in the bedroom tempting aromas wafted from the kitchen. Coffee was the predominate smell but he couldn't quite identify the rest. He combed his hair and grinned because he knew the combing was an exercise in futility. No matter what his style his hair had a mind of its own.
Duo turned from the stove and smiled. Heero, wearing black trousers and a sweater in soft gray hues, looked more confident and certainly more at ease. Duo had donned navy trousers and a light blue pullover shirt that complimented his eyes.
"Sit down." Duo motioned to a chair. "Drink this." he ordered handing Heero a large glass of orange juice.
Duo set a glass of juice at his place and poured two cups of coffee. Cheesy omelets the size of the plates were the main course. A plate of toast rounded out the balanced meal.
"Be careful the eggs are hot." Duo cautioned then blew on a forkful to emphasis his warning.
Heero laced his fingers through the coffee cup's handle to steady the slight quiver in his hands. The steam felt good against his lips as he tested the heat level with a careful sip.
"This looks good, I didn't know you could cook." he praised Duo's culinary efforts.
Duo buttered his toast. "I can't fix anything fancy but I have mastered eggs."
Heero took a moment to savor the omelet. "You can cook for me anytime."
Duo laid his hand on Heero's hand. "I would like that very much but let's get through your assignment then we will discuss my gastronomic genius."
*********
"Duo Maxwell this is Quatre Winner and Trowa Barton." Heero made the introductions. "You remember Wufei." he added with a grin. Handshakes were exchanged then the IPB quartet and their new ally started their strategy session.
Heero debriefed. He detailed the previous night's events, including the "accident" used to cover up the sentry's downfall. He supplied rough renderings of the lodge's exterior and a crude outline roughly representing the grounds, complete with the infamous grassy clearing. Roads leading in and out were more clearly defined but only suppositions could be made concerning the building's internal layout. Finally he suggested the best insertion routes.
"If what happened last night makes Dorothy or Carter edgy, if they believe that security has been breached they may decide to move up the shipping schedule." Heero stated.
Wufei nodded in agreement. "We go tonight."
Quatre came down of the side of caution. "I understand your reasons but if they don't buy into the accident idea the entire place will be locked down."
"Dorothy has already set up a meeting with Hoffman and that will be the only time that all the players will be in the same place. If we want to eliminate the jackals it has to be tonight." Heero insisted.
"We have no manpower estimation." Trowa declared, "If we go tonight we won't have enough time to arrange for backup."
Heero stuck to his convictions, "The lodge sits on a hill with an unobstructed view in all directions. A large squad will be too easily spotted no matter how careful the approach. It would be next to impossible to hide a standard team. No, too many people will just get in the way."
Throughout the tactic debate Duo had remained silence. He knew the agents were trained in such matters and were better qualified to make decisions but the had to wonder if there was a safer way. "Why couldn't you send in helicopters armed with missiles and level the place." he offered an alternative solution.
As usual Wufei's reply was based solely on logic. "If we were certain all the blueprints and working specifications were at the lodge that idea would be practical. I don't think that Carter is foolish enough to run the operation without backup copies kept somewhere else. If we don't have everything then he could just set up at another location and start over again.
We need to get one of the disruptor's control units. The men at the Bureau's lab can pull it apart, see what make it ticks. If they know how it works they can develop a counter-device."
Duo couldn't argue with the Lone Dragon's logic. Still he felt that the operation was more than a small team could handle alone. "I don't know." he replied, "the idea of us against the world sounds a little crazy to me."
Trowa offered one of his rare smiles, "We've been called crazy before."
Quatre picked up Wufei's train of thought. "The trick will be finding one of the disruptors since none of us has seen one."
"That's why Duo is going along." Heero announced.
Wufei didn't mince words, "A civilian and a green one at that." he declared, "The risk factor is too high."
Heero came to Duo's defense, "Duo is the only person who knows what the control unit looks like. Once we are inside we won't have the luxury of unlimited search time, we don't have another option."
"Maxwell will be your responsibility." Wufei stated reverting back to the use of Duo's last name for emphasis.
Duo scowled at the Chinese agent, "I can take care of myself. You worry about your ass and I'll worry about mine."
Heero held up his hand to cut off any further heated exchanges. "We don't have time for bickering. We are a team so let's act like one. The mission is set for tonight. We will assemble here at nineteen hundred hours. Any questions?" When no additional discussions were forthcoming 01 adjourned the session.
*********
"Looks like rain." Duo commented as he stood by the bedroom window.
Heero had decided that a quiet afternoon and a hot meal at the safe house would be their best mission preparations. He squinted up at the gray clouds looming over the mountains. "A solid cloud cover will hide our activities at the lodge." he stated matter-of-factly.
Duo fought off a shudder, "I don't want to think about that awful place."
"I don't have a choice. If something isn't done about the disruptors the whole world will suffer."
"We all have choices." Duo stated resting his shoulder against the window frame. He closed his eyes to hold back the tears. "I don't care about the world I care about you."
Heero stepped up, braced his hand on the wall and leaned closer. "There is more at stake than what you or I want." A trace of sadness tempered his reminder. "Besides I thought you needed to know what happened to your friend."
"I do but storming the lodge is too dangerous."
"Some things are worth fighting for."
"Is this mission worth your life?" Duo hissed feeling helpless to stop the madness.
Heero knew the risks. Sooner or later every field operative had to make decisions without regard to their safety or their lives. As he reached for Duo's hand, an unexpected peacefulness attended his next statement. "Some things are worth dying for."
Duo jerked away. His eyes hardened under their watery glaze. "We both know what Robert was investigating and why he disappeared. We both know that he's..." His hand went to his lips to stop their quivering. Despondent tears flowed freely.
Heero pulled Duo into a consoling embrace. Duo buried his face in Heero's chest and clung to him like a lifeline. "Damn them all to hell." he mumbled as salty droplets dampened Heero's shirt.
Discouragement and anger had been bottled up too long. Duo needed to cry, too weep out all his pain. Heero wished that he could make everything all right but he knew, at that moment, nothing could cure Duo's heartache but cleansing tears. He curved his hand behind Duo's head, stoked his silken hair and simply let him cry.
When the tears had finally run their course, when the uncontrollable trembling had given way to catching sobs, Heero put his thumb under Duo's chin and lifted his swollen eye to meet his. "We need each other to get through this." he whispered letting his fingers trace the tear's tracks.
Duo nodded as he gazed up into twin pools of cobalt blue. Heero's mouth closed over Duo's lips and he tightened their entwined embrace. The kiss was gentle without a hint of any expectation other than comfort.
When the kiss ended a worn smile replaced Duo's tears. "I still think this whole damned mission is insane." he announced before leaving the window and flopping down on the bed.
Heero sat by down beside his newly established partner. "You're drained. Why don't you take a nap?" he suggested. "I'll tend to dinner."
"Will you stay until I fall asleep?"
Curled up against Heero's chest, Duo finally surrendered to serene slumber. Outside the cloud-shrouded sky had darkened the afternoon and encouraged evening to come earlier than it should. Inside dusky shadows were soothing and light rain tapping on the windowpanes was the only sound.
Reluctantly Heero eased off the bed. As though Duo missed the contact he sighed and shifted in his sleep but settled down when Heero spread a coverlet over him.
Standing by the window Heero studied his rain-warped reflection. The flame from his lighter momentarily cast a yellow glow across the glass then the weeping panes once again converted back to their damp dinginess.
Cigarette smoke drifted in no particular fashion. Heero continued his silent contemplation. An occasional wind gust splattered the droplets adding another layer of distortion.
"Wait a little longer." Heero whispered glancing back at Duo's sleep form.
TBC...
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