Dragonheart Part 15
It had been Heero's intension to give Duo the bedchamber next to his room but after the upsetting circumstances surrounding Duo's arrival Heero did not want to be apart from his friend's company. If they had been at Duo's home they would be sharing the bed so why not at Yuy Manor?
The setting sun sunk in measured degrees between the mountain peaks. Large and fiery like Shinigami's eyes its solar rays flared over the horizon juncture tinting the skyline blood red.
Duo stood on the bedroom balcony leaning his forearms on the wisteria-draped railing. He had undone his braid and tied his loose hair back in a ponytail. A sporadic breeze feathered the silky mane and fanned out the ends like graceful wings.
Just below his solitary viewing point a stone gargoyle squatted hunchbacked on the ledge. The waning sun's redden glow touched the stone sentry's weathered profile lending a menacing gleam to its bulging eyes.
But unlike the gargoyle's stony stare that perpetually kept its watchful gaze in centered concentration Duo's sight were fixed on nothing in particular. His eye's faraway cast hinted that his mind had drifted somewhere beyond his field of vision, outside his surface consciousness and perceptive thoughts.
The sunset's thinning shafts melted into a deep pink. Its brightness painted a ruddy hue over the Keeper's fair features and its spiking firedanced in his eyes.
*********
Heero had been in town until early evening purchasing seed for the spring planting. He also set up several accounts for the Gypsies who had agreed to trade their craftsman skills for food and other basic necessaries.
The haggling over prices had taken longer than he expected and by the time he got home Odin and Duo had finished the evening meal. Anna wanted to reheat the leftover vegetable and wild onion stew but Heero insisted that missing supper was his fault and that Anna should not be expected to make a special effort for him. Instead he made up a plate of cheese, fruit and bread along with a new bottle of wine then went in search of Duo.
*********
Heero paused off to the side not wanting to intrude on Duo's preciously private moments.
"Heero." Duo acknowledged his friend's presence without looking around.
"It's getting late and I was wondering where you were." Heero replied softly. "I thought that you might like something more to eat. I was told that you didn't have much appetite at supper." he added as the last of the dusky colors faded from the sky.
Duo let out a lengthy sigh then refocused his sight and thoughts back in their proper places. "I have no secrets here." he sighed again.
"Anna was concerned for your health."
Duo pivoted to face his friend. "I appreciate her concern and I will thank her in the morning." Once more a pensive gaze veiled his violet eyes, "Isn't it beautiful?" he nodded as the sunset's remnant traces faded away leaving only purple streaks behind the mountain.
Heero joined Duo. "Yes it is. Each day is a wondrous gift."
Duo leaned his shoulder on a support column. "Do you believe in fate?"
Heero shrugged his shoulders, "I'm not sure. Although I have given study to the concept I am not certain that powers outside of ourselves control our lives. I do believe that we each have a hand in shaping our own destiny by our ideals and choices." he declared as he recalled his choice of becoming a soldier and how that choice had altered his way of viewing the world. "Why do you ask?"
"For as long as I can remember whenever I've needed direction someone has provided an answer. Some people like the Gypsies have been with me a long time and others like you and Anna have more recently come into my life. Each time in their own unique way each person has been my saving grace."
A slight smile curved up Duo's mouth. "Even Shinigami, by some intervention divine or otherwise, found a place with me. It is all very perplexing."
Heero put a hand on Duo's shoulder, "It would seem that something beyond ourselves has had a hand in our fate," he agreed, "but whether the source of our guidance comes from heaven, well, I am not that wise."
"I suppose some parts of our lives are always to remain an act of faith." Duo stated reaching up to lay his hand on Heero's hand.
Silently Heero watched as the velvety aura of evening vanquish the daylight from the sky. "I suppose." he replied in thoughtful consideration.
As the sunless horizon slowly turned to twilight, tiny specks of starlight shone dimly through the opaque curtain of night. "Why don't you come in and share my supper with me?" Heero urged.
"I will shortly just grant me one last quiet moment to myself."
"All right but don't tarry too long the air is cooling quickly and I do not want you to catch a chill." Heero withdrew leaving his contemplative friend alone with his thoughts.
"The stars are so far away yet their light touches our sky." Duo whispered out loud as he beheld the flickering pinpoints. "Perhaps their gleaming halo beacons were set in the heavens to show that, no matter how remote the fulfillment of man's desires for peace might seem, with faithfulness and firm conviction there can be an end to hatred."
Duo's body felt fretted by his powerlessness to stop the upcoming conflict neither could the growing night chill numb his weary soul nor deaden the dull ache in his heart.
Turning from the railing he left the gargoyle sentinel and the star's distant twinkling to keep their silent watch alone. "Perhaps one day there will be peace."
*********
Heero tamped down the coals and banked the fireplace for the night. He spread out a blanket, set the plate and wine on the floor then realized that he had forgotten to bring any glasses. "No matter." he thought, "If I was gong to catch something from Duo I would have before now."
The balcony doors closed with a click. Heero could tell by Duo's slight shiver that despite his urging his friend had stayed too long in the damp night air. He pulled the duvet from the bed and wrapped it around Duo's shoulders. "Sit with me by the fire." he invited using gentle pressure on the small of Duo's back to guide him to the floor.
Red-orange fingers of flames clawed up over the logs before the blaze broke apart and dissolved into wisps of smoke. The fire provided the only illumination creating ever-changing patterns of light and shadows on the walls and ceiling. Crisp crackling added to the soothing atmosphere.
Duo tugged the coverlet snuggly around his body to ward off both the natural clamminess and the wintry encasement surrounding his heart. Heero pulled out the cork with a soft pop then handed the wine bottle to Duo. "This will help warm you up."
Duo took a sturdy swig and wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand. "This is good."
Heero picked out a piece of cheese and waggled the yellow morsel near Duo's lips. "This is also good."
Duo and Heero settled into a routine of food and drink, sharing the bottle and eating with their fingers like uncivilized barbarians. When the wine loosened their inhibitions the increasingly intoxicated friends began to feed each other first a slice of apple then bread and cheese.
Another turn at the bottle and it wasn't long before both the teacher and his student were relaxed...no, more than relaxed...sloshed. For some unknown reason Duo broke into a fit of giggles and Heero didn't need much encouragement to join in the silly behavior.
Soon the combination of the fire and the wine's warming sensations put Duo in an uncomfortable condition. Clumsily he tugged at his sticky shirt struggling to slip the damp material over his equally damp chest. Finally after a bout of swearing that would put a sailor to shame he was freed from the binding garment.
With a soft sigh Duo laid back on the blanket, laced his fingers behind his head and closed his eyes to stop the ceiling from spinning. At that moment he was perfectly content to drift off into a state of nothingness.
Firelight fluttered over Duo's fair face and traced shadowy designs across his smooth torso. His creamy skin glistened with sweat and blushed with a wine-induced glow.
Heero remained quiet for a long time studying the body laid out for his inspection. There was a subtle familiarity in his friend's repose. Even though he and Duo had bathed together many times there had always been the distractions of conversation and hair washing. Now there was only silence except for the occasional crackling of the fire.
Soon Heero realized that Duo had completely captured his attention. Suddenly sober he found himself caught up in a certain fascination as he watched the steady rise and fall of Duo's chest which had grown more muscular from his daily workouts and practice sessions.
He noted how Duo's loose ponytail flowed over his shoulders, how his bangs tangled in his long eyelashes and how stray cinnamon-colored stands clung to his moist cheeks. He beheld the silver cross that was now tinted crimson by the reflection from the fireplace.
*********
Heero had been so worried during those endless weeks after he returned home. Not knowing of Duo's happiness and security almost broke his heart. Every hour he resisted the urge to ride blindly back to Duo but all he could do was fight the helpless frustration until the ache in his heart and the pangs of separation were too shape to bear.
In spite of his unworthiness Heero offered frequent prayers, fervently swearing an oath on his soul, begging that Duo be kept safe until he could fetch him. He also pledged that if he and Duo were reunited that Duo would never again be without his protective position at his side.
When Shinigami delivered Duo in such a weakened condition, the fear of losing him had stirred strange emotions. "It is the stain of worry." Heero told himself, "When Duo is well," he further argued against the disquiet feelings, "then everything will be all right."
*********
But those odd feelings had not faded with Duo's recovery, they lingered in Heero's heart's most private places. A certain brand of passion pressed him to tell Duo what was truly in his heart but what would Duo's reaction be?
Heero had never felt this way about anyone before. A link had formed, an uneasy sexual urging. But how could that be? They were both male!
As Heero found himself more troubled and confused the conflicting sentiments were quickly becoming too hard to handle On two separate occasions Heero started to speak to Duo about his uncharacteristic feelings and each time his nerve abandoned its promise to follow through.
Once finding Duo practicing alone in the central courtyard Heero had hid from sight toying with the idea of seduction. He stood shyly in the shadows committing to memory each of Duo's movements, enjoying the way he muscles rippled under his shirt and how the sun bounced across his hair like a thousand glittering diamonds.
The next time, watching from his window as Duo walked in the moonlit garden, Heero gave serious consideration to being so bold as to invite Duo to be his lover. That idea was not such a farfetched notion, Heero knew of more than one relationship between soldiers during the war so were his feelings really so unnatural?
Duo was beautiful there was no doubt about that and the attraction was stronger than anything that Heero had ever experienced before but was this allure lust or love?
"If I do bare my feelings," Heero wondered, "will Duo be amused or upset or angry? Will he dismiss my loving request as just infatuation? Does he see me as a friend and not as a man with wants and needs?
A renewed ache gnawed at Heero's heart as he struggled with his contradictory emotions. "Could I risk Duo's rejection? Would it ruin our friendship? Am I merely fooling myself by believing that I could be in love or are these passions just expressions of the relief of having Duo here with me?"
Too many questions and not knowing the correct answers or a true path was slowing eating away at what confidence Heero had gained to that point.
Duo was his only faithful friend, someone whom he had come to depend on. Was he now mistaking his dependency for more than it was? "Am I so afraid of being alone that I can not live without Duo?"
Duo stretched his hands above his head elongating his toned body. A small yawn spoke volumes as to how at ease he was at that moment. In the security of Yuy Manor and in the company of his treasured friend Duo had no worries.
Duo's stirring brought Heero back from his soul-searching analysis. Suddenly all he wanted to do was run, to put as much distance between himself and the object of his, perhaps misplaced, desire. However as hard as he tried he could do nothing but gaze upon Duo as he was held spellbound by the Keeper's powerful presence.
*Now.* Heero's internal council commanded inside his head, *Talk to Duo now.* his heart ordered with an urgency that almost took his breath away.
"What would he say?" How to approach the subject? How could Heero put into words emotions that he did not fully understand himself? Suddenly he wished for some of that bash boldness that he had previously lectured Duo about.
A shaky sigh blew over Heero's lips. The faint sound caused Duo to open his eyes. "Did you say something?" he asked pushing up on his elbows.
Heero let his sight run over Duo's naked chest fighting the overwhelming impulse to blurt out what he believed to be his accurate feelings. "NOW!" his heart demanded.
Without warning Duo's sight locked with Heero's focused stare and he was held fast by the captious attraction of those haunting orbs. Then mercifully several silky tresses slipped over Duo's eyes helping to allay their transfixing influence just as it began to bore into Heero's soul.
Heero swallowed hard pushing the confusion and uncertainly away. Forcing the overflowing affection and his fear of rejection back into the guarded recesses of his heart he found enough courage to speak. "Nothing. I said nothing." he lied struggling to keep his voice even.
He had to put his thoughts on another track, rein in his building sexual energy. He needed to use the last of the wine to lull his mind into a sedated state until he was too numb to feel anything. With one drink he finished the last dregs hoping that his fraying nerves would not hasten his crumbling facade or that his trembling body would reveal the lie that everything was all right.
Pushing the painful confusion aside he stood up and staggered on unsteady legs. "I think we need to sleep." he announced as he gathered up the duvet and headed for the bed.
How was he going to sleep with Duo so near? "The same way you stilled your nerves before battle." he muttered under his breath. "Lock away your mind." he continued the stern reprimand of his betraying body.
*Can you?* His inner voice challenged his determination.
"I have to." he answered slipping between the cool sheets.
Duo braced his hand on a chair and cautiously stood up. He, too, moved with a wobbly gait as he rounded the foot of the bed. Fumbling with the laces on his trousers he finally succeeded in stripping down to his breechcloth.
Heero tensed as Duo climbed into bed, curled up on his side and face him like he always did. The dogged desire to be more than friends reared its head once more and this time Heero knew that he could not keep silent any longer.
"Duo." he whispered as if he was afraid that someone else might hear him.
Duo shifted his head on the pillow and centered his captivating sight. "Yes."
In the limited light emitted from the fireplace Heero raised up enough to see Duo's face. "I have something I...need to... tell you." he stammered as his nerve once again threaten to declare desertion.
A puzzlement flickered across Duo's face. He had never seen Heero so ill-at-ease. "All right what is wrong? And don't tell me nothing." he said letting Heero know by his tone that the truth was the only acceptable reply.
TBC...
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