Author: Karen, The Huntress
Rating: R
Warning: Angst, language, mild lemon.
Pairing: 1x2
Feedback: Always appreciated.
Archive: Shades and Echoes, DHML Archive.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters.
Hello it is just me again. I had started this story a few weeks back and got stuck so I set it aside for a while. I finally finished it this week. Aren't you proud of me? Seriously though I hope it gives you a few minutes of entertainment. As usual feedback would be nice. I hope you enjoy my latest offering of the fanfic gods. Thank for your time and attention. Your friend and sister author. Karen, The Huntress.
Bittersweet Part 1
Heero was scared, more scared than he had ever been in his life. As he drove through the early morning traffic his mind wandered back reviewing what had brought him to this point in time. To this soul-sick fright that overwhelmed every part of his being.
Throughout the war he had relied on his training, which had become second nature, to handle any situation. When something happened he allowed his instincts to take over and never thought about the actual process until the danger or battle was over.
After the war and the shaky peace that followed he remained the Perfect Soldier handling each decision with the same cold detachment that had always worked. Even his relationship with his fellow Pilots had not changed in the stoic way he viewed his comrades-in-arms.
At Sally Po's request Wufei had joined the Preventers. Quatre and Trowa had each other as they attempted to build a new life together.
But Duo Maxwell, that was another story. Heero had known from the first moment he and Duo had been thrown together by war's harsh circumstances that there was something different about the way he related to Deathscythe's pilot.
The war had not allowed much time to dwell on these odd feelings. The emotions Duo stirred to life defied Heero's best attempt to give them a name, to put them in the same general category that he had filed everything else in his life.
When peace was finally attained instead of being relieved, Heero Yuy found himself dreading the separation the ending hostiles might cause. Freedom had been achieved but he wasn't at all certain he wanted to be free from the braided boy he had come to view as more than a friend.
Still the wrenching separation came. Heero wandered for many months seeking some elusive goal that seemed to stay always just out of his reach. He was a soldier, someone trained for war. Now peace had plunged him into a strange environment, one so foreign that he simply did not know how to cope. How does a warrior live with peace?
He kept up with Wufei easily enough through the Preventers. Even though Trowa and Quatre moved around in the first few months, the gentle Sandrock pilot and his now less impassionate lover had been good about keeping in touch.
Maxwell, however, disappeared without a trace.
In spite of all of Heero's computer skills the beautiful braided boy could not or would not be found.
Soon tracking down the mysterious missing American became Yuy's driving force. He had to have some focus, something to give him a reason to go on. Locating the one person who had ever made him feel alive was now Heero Yuy's sole mission.
He had unashamedly enlisted the other pilot's help. Until that time Heero had neither needed nor wanted anyone's assistance. But now he knew that every resource would have to be put into play if he had any hope of finding the elusive Shinigami.
More months followed. More dead ends and mounting frustrations. After days and nights of searching every link he could think of, every unauthorized site he could hack and enter, it appeared Heero had depleted every option.
Then late one night when Heero was so exhausted the screen blurred into one gray mass and his eyes felt like they were about to drop out of his throbbing head, the thought that Duo might be dead crept into his muddled mind.
Staggering to his bed Heero collapsed in the darkness staring into a black void made up of not only the room's lack of light, but also a heart-severing panic that shook to his soul's very core.
Heero was suddenly afraid, terrified to think he might have lost the only person who had given any meaning to his pitiful excuse of a life. Duo had become his only anchor in a swirling whirlpool of despair and utter loneliness.
"No it can't be. It won't be." Heero mumbled to the engulfing darkness of mind and soul. "Duo is alive I can feel it." he augured back against the total depression inundating his spirit.
"Duo I will never give up." Heero promised finally breaking under the strain.
Alone in the smothering gloom of deep despondency he let the tears flow freely.
*********
Two months more. Nothing, no trace. Then came the fateful night that put Heero's life-changing events into motion.
During yet another restless night, one plagued by the same repetitive nightmare that had become Yuy's whoring bedmate, Heero tensed. As the frightening dream of him falling away into nothingness grappling desperately for Duo's hand that was just out of reach once again invaded his sleep, Heero shook and sweated.
Mercifully, just before fear threatened to halt his heart's beating, the buzzing of the vide-phone urged him back to reality.
Heero's hand made two unsuccessful stabs before closing around the receiver. Clumsily his other hand prodded the keypad until the correct button was depressed.
The screen sparkled to life brightly displaying Quatre's haggard image in the darkened room. A blue shadow slid over Heero's sleepy features as he propped up on one elbow.
"Quatre?" Heero questioned blinking hard before his sight adjusted to the screen's glare.
"Heero, yes it's me." the elfin blond answered. "Are you awake?"
Heero cracked opened one eye but only enough to confirm that it was indeed Winner on the line. "I am now, I guess." he yawned using a great amount of effort just to sit up.
"What time is it anyway?" he wondered cracking open the other eye to check his watch, 3:30 am. "Damn Quatre you better have a hell of a good reason for calling so early." he declared rubbing the sleep from his watery eyes.
Quatre's face was a confusing mixture of upset and sadness. This contrary countenance spurred Heero's sluggish brain to pay more attention to his and his friend's impending conversation.
"What's wrong?" he inquired suddenly more alert.
"We have found Duo." Quatre announced abruptly not knowing any other feasible way to ease Heero into the news.
Now Heero was absolutely wide-awake. "Duo? How? Where?" he rambled running his anxious questions together into one continuous stammering sentence.
Trowa's face appeared besides Quatre's leaning closer to the screen. "Sally Po contacted us. Duo is in the Medical Center." Barton replied in his usual cool, no nonsense, manner.
Heero bolted upright his own brand of confusion merging with his now all too familiar worry.
"The Med-Center." he repeated excitedly the worry quickly turning to dread. "What happened?" his extreme anxiety demanded as it turned into panic.
"We are not certain," Quatre replied, "A half an hour ago Sally called us. She said she had walked into Duo's hospital room completely by accident. When she entered she was dumbfounded, not believing her eyes, but she knew it had to be Duo from his braid. She stepped in for a closer look and found him restrained and not at all responsive to her presence or her attempts to find out what had happened.
According to the nurse Sally questioned Duo has been there for a week registered as a "John Doe" because he had no identification on him when he was brought in. The assigned Doctor is not sure what happened because Duo has been too disorientated to tell his name or give anyone any details."
Quatre choked back a tremble in his voice, paused then tried to continue but was defeated in the attempt. Trowa put an arm about his partner's sagging shoulders and took up the relating.
"According to the Emergency Room records the manager of a rundown motel on the lower side of town discovered Duo in an unconscious condition." Trowa sighed, "The paramedics found a plastic bag containing illegal "street pills" clutched tightly in his hand."
Quatre had now recovered enough to add on the ending. "Sally says the Doctor couldn't be certain whether the overdose was accidental or an attempt by Duo to take his life. That is all we know.
We are leaving for the Med-Center now. I called Wufei; he is going to meet us there."
Heero stood up, "I'm on my way" he declared, "Quatre?" he added trying to calm his own quivering voice, "Do you think Duo......" the trembling worsened, "that he might have brain damage since he has been "out of it" for so long?" His words trailed off replaced by free flowing tears."
Quatre was crying, too, " Heero.........I don't know."
TBC...
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