Author: Jei
Warnings: Shounen ai
Pairings: 1+2
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.
Summary: Oh, Duo. Outsmarting himself again.
Note 1: Mostly inspired by last week's funfact, and a certain comment & reply that got me thinking that Duo is probably in more need of distraction than Heero is.
Note 2: Kinda shoulda been a dialogue fic, except there were a few things I wanted to stick in there that wouldn't have worked as dialogue, and I'm not enough of a purist to bother trying to make it one thing or another... so you get mostly!dialogue-fic, and admittedly some pointless conversation that probably could have been summarized out in non-dialogue since I committed to writing mostly!dialogue... but then I didn't. Well, anyway. You get the point.
Where The Heart Is
"Hello?"
"Geez, were you still awake or do you just sound awake even after you've just woken up? 'Cuz I can never tell with you."
"Duo?" He reached out to flick on the lamp on the bedside table and squinted at his clock.
"Uh. Yeah. Um. Hey. Uh. Hope you don't mind and all. I mean, I don't think I expected you to pick up at all and really, why are you answering calls this late, anyway?"
Heero was fairly certain he was awake. He wouldn't be able to dream up this kind of conversation. "I get a call at three o'clock in the morning, I assume it's worth picking up. Especially if it's you." Clearly, his mouth was awake, but his good sense hadn't quite kicked in yet. He appended a smooth cover-up onto his statement. "Or any of the others."
"Um. Nah, this totally isn't important. I should let you go back to sleep--"
"I said, 'worth picking up', Maxwell. World order doesn't have to be falling apart to make it worth picking up. Are... you okay, Duo?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."
"Just... making a social call?"
"Yeah! No! I mean... Ugh. Fuck."
"Duo? Did... something happen?" Duo's conversational skills were usually better than this. "I heard you were wrapping up your case today..."
"Yeah, that's, uh... Yeah. That's it. No, I mean... Fuck."
"Duo?" He ratcheted it up a notch.
"Geez, you don't have to sound all concerned and stuff, Yuy. Don't worry. Yeah, the case wrapped up fine. I'm just making my way home now and I'm like thirty minutes out or something and I can barely keep my eyes open and, if you haven't noticed, I don't think I'm quite thinking straight right now, which is probably why I called you at three o'clock in the fucking morning and I totally apologize for that, but I was just kind of hoping you could, yanno, maybe help keep me awake until I get home. Which I know is kind of an awkward thing to ask, all things considered, but--"
"No worries, Duo. It's fine." He laid back on his pillows with a faint smile. "I'd be happy to make sure you get home in one piece."
"Um. Yeah. Thanks, man. I think I owe you. I mean, if this crazy idea is any indication of where my brain is at right now, I think I owe you big. I'm really sorry--"
"Why are you driving home at three o'clock in the morning, Duo?"
"Huh? Oh. Um. Well, like you said... You know I've been out in the boonies for the last week or so, chasing down my perp. Had a hell of a day flushing him out, too. Anyway, finally got all that stuff straightened out with the locals so I could leave, and that was around midnight and I guess I could have stayed there one more night but I just really wanted to get on home and I figured I could make it another three, four hours. Long enough to get home, yanno? Guess I ran out of midnight oil, though. Not as young as I used to be, I guess. Yeah, I could probably get home in one piece, but hey, I've got plenty of things trying to kill me on a regular basis. No sense in letting a tree or something finally being the one to do me in."
"If you can't make it, Duo, just pull over and catch a quick rest."
"Nah, I can do it. I'm almost there. Besides, I think I'm gonna crash, nothing quick about it. Um. Crash like sleep-crash, not car-crash."
"I figured."
"Yeah. Hey, I think part of your keep-me-awake duties has got to include stopping me from rambling on like an idiot, 'cuz really, I'm dyin' here. Um. Not literally."
"I figured."
"Shut up."
He chuckled softly. "Way to ask me for a favor, Maxwell."
"Shut up. ... Sorry. Yeah, I really shouldn't have called--"
"You know you can call me any time, Duo. It's okay."
"I... I know. It's not like I've forgotten where you stand or anything. So I kind of feel like I'm kind of taking advantage of you right now, which is, like I said, totally not cool, but, well, I'm just still... You know, can we not have this conversation right now? I'm... I'm still working on it, and anyway, it probably shouldn't happen when I'm half-asleep and not really rational."
Heero hid a quiet sigh, but had to admit that there were probably better subjects to keep Duo awake. "Then debrief me."
"Huh?"
"Tell me about your day. You knew he was out there. What pinpointed his location for you?"
"Oh. Um. Okay. We finally connected the dots on some of the forensics we had on file..." Duo went over the steps that led to their eventual discovery of the suspect's whereabouts and the resulting siege. Heero made sounds at all the appropriate times to prove he was still listening and prompted Duo for more information when he sensed the opportunity to kill some extra time. He kept his questions light and sociable, pleased as Duo's tone turned from business to casual. The occasional yawn intruded, but he seemed relaxed and alert. When he had covered even the ever-exciting bureaucratic dance he'd done to work out the jurisdictional complications of his case, he laughed. "Shit, I'm just hitting the edge of town. That's it -- none of my criminals are allowed to leave the city limits anymore."
Heero smiled and snuggled a little further under his blankets. "I'll make sure your suspects know the rules."
"So. How was your day, Yuy? Still chasing that net scammer?"
"Down to a hunt now, more than a chase. We're just waiting on him to fall into some of our traps, and then we'll be good to take him down."
"You sure he isn't scamming anyone else while you're waiting on him?"
"History shows that his scam is big enough that he can really only handle one instance of it at a time. We're keeping a close eye on his activities, anyway."
"Cool. And after that, you'll have a bulletproof case, right?"
"Yep."
"Good. That guy makes me think vicious things just thinking about how many charities lost their endowments thanks to him."
"We'll get him. And try to figure out how much we can recover for his victims."
"Won't be enough, though. Geez, I'm squeezing my wheel real tight right now."
Time to change the subject, then. "Hey, you weren't here on Tuesday, right? You missed out on Stella's brownie mishap."
"Ooh, brownies? Man, I'm definitely not leaving the city for work anymore. Though now I'm wondering, does 'mishap' mean I should be glad I missed out?"
"Let's just say she brought in the wrong batch. It was supposed to go to her mother."
"Hey, yeah, do you know how her surgery went? I hope they got it all. I remember -- whoa. I get it now. I think I would have liked to be there!"
"Luckily, she figured it out before anyone other than Parker had chomped one down."
"Bah, who would notice if Parker was stoned, anyway? The guy's kinda spacey on a daily basis, if you ask me."
"Probably because he spends half his day trying to impress Simmons."
They exchanged office gossip for a few minutes before Duo finally sighed in relief. "Yes! Finally home. I'm-- fuck."
Heero sat up. "What?"
"Shit. How the hell--?"
"Duo? What's wrong?" He swung his legs off his bed as if he could spring into action and fix something.
"This is... I..."
"Duo? Did something happen to your place?" His mind ran through the possibilities, but nothing was quite computing. Duo wouldn't have been able to see into his apartment right after pulling into his parking space, and Heero would have heard if the place had burned down or something.
"I... Oh man. I... wouldn't know. Since, yanno, I'm not actually at my place."
"What? Duo? Are you okay?"
"Huh? Yeah... I'm just totally weirded out by the fact that I just pulled up in front of YOUR apartment."
"My apartment?" He turned reflexively toward the window, knowing that he couldn't see out front through it.
"Uh, yeah. I must really need to sleep. Um, okay, guess I'll just get back on the road, then, and--"
"Don't be ridiculous, Duo. Come on up."
"What?"
"You can crash here for the night."
"What? No. No way. I can totally make it home."
"But you're already here, Duo. Just come on up. You can go home tomorrow, after you've had a good night's sleep."
"Nah, I wouldn't want to bother you or nothing. I'll just--"
"Not a chance, Maxwell. I'm already awake. I've been awake for a while now."
"But--"
"And see, I'm already converting my couch into a bed. Leaving now would be even more of a bother, because I'll have done all this for nothing."
"But--"
"I expect you to be up here in a few minutes. And I'm not going back to bed until I see you tucked in for the night. Yuy out." He hung up in the middle of another protest.
Duo stared at his phone. The timer stopped counting once the line was disconnected. It blinked with what seemed an absurdly large number, given how quickly the minutes had passed once he'd made the call. After verifying the time with his car's clock and his wrist watch, he put his phone away and stared at the apartment building in front of him. A few light slaps to his cheeks confirmed that he was indeed in front of Yuy's apartment and not his own. Nor was he parked headfirst in a tree trunk. He banged his forehead against his steering wheel. "What the fuck, subconscious?" he muttered. "Just what the fuck?"
His subconscious smirked, and pointed out what to it was obvious. You wanted to go home, didn't you?
"Oh, shut up." He sighed and resigned himself to climbing up those stairs and walking into an apartment that was definitely not his. He'd spend a few minutes being decidedly uncomfortable, but he wouldn't really fight too hard if Yuy wanted to tuck him in. The rest of his discomfort, all of him agreed, he could face after he'd gotten some sleep.
And who knew? Maybe after he woke up in the morning... he'd open his eyes to find out he really was home.
OWARI
Back to Jei's Fanfictions Page