Author: Jei

Warnings: same as Additive Identity

Pairings: 1x2x1

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.

Maybe several weeks or so after the end of Additive Identity, not counting the little epilogue section.

Note: Okay, so I admit that I was nudged into writing this by certain recent tragedies in the news, and yeah that's probably in poor taste, but... well, you know how the ficbrain works, right? ^^'

Recovery

It was several minutes after he was sure that Heero was well and truly asleep that Duo let go of Heero's hand and placed it gently back on the bed. It took him a minute more to shake himself out of reverie and push himself to his feet while he had the will to do it. His fingers twitched, as usual demanding what they could not have, now that most of Heero's hair was trapped underneath the electrode net he wore, and Duo sighed, sparing a weak glare for the EEG readout that evoked such mixed feelings in him. It was better than that damn solitary number that had been output to display on that misbegotten communications satellite, when that had been their only window into Heero's brain, but he still felt completely at its mercy.

He left the room reluctantly, and mostly only because Heero would know if he didn't do as ordered. Heero could hardly string a one-word sentence together and could barely twitch the toes on the correct foot when tested, but God help him, the man could somehow tell if Duo didn't take these moments between Heero's wakefulness to take care of himself. Just as he could still somehow communicate his disapproval through nothing more than a look, all that he was left with until his facial muscles responded reliably again.

He was strolling down the hallway, pulling his arms this way and that to loosen them when Relena turned a corner headed his way. She waved, and smiled a bit crookedly. "I guess Heero's asleep now then?"

It had been just long enough since the incident that Duo could chuckle a little. He'd suffered enough browbeatings from all sides that all he could do was try to maintain his dignity and grace in the face of such a defeat. "A few minutes ago, yeah. Sorry."

She shook her head. "I'll catch him next time. How was he today?"

"Good," he answered reflexively, before snorting at the incredibly relative nature of the word. "Well, I mean, you know... All things considered. Saw some progress today, I think. His coordination's still shot to hell, but at least he's moving under his own power. Kind of. And he's staying awake longer now."

"All recovered from the trip back down?"

"Yeah, I think he just slept most of that off. He was good again -- all things considered -- after a few days. Heero's not the kind to let a little re-entry slow him down. And with the data they're finally able to get now that he's down here... Well, they're getting a better picture of what's going on inside his head. Still working on a plan, though."

"Were you just heading down to the commissary? Mind if I join you for a late dinner?"

Duo blinked, then shrugged a bit ruefully. Having a guest would prevent him from making dinner as quick as possible, if grabbing some food and running could really be called 'dinner', but Relena knew that. At least she hadn't tried to invite him off the grounds. "If you don't mind the food around here, sure."

She just smiled and gestured for him to lead the way. They walked together in silence for a minute before Relena spoke again. "I admire you, Duo Maxwell."

There was really only one response to that that he could come up with. "Huh?"

"And... I'm glad you're the one by his side."

"Uh..."

She cast a sidelong glance at him, showing a bit of discreet amusement at his flabbergasted look for a few seconds before the girlishness fled and she was left with a pensive expression. "I... suppose that you've seen him at his best and his worst."

"I... suppose," Duo answered cautiously.

"I haven't," she admitted easily. "Heero would never let me see him at his worst. And I... suppose I wouldn't want to."

"Oh?" A breath later, he sort of had it figured it out. "Oh. Kinda... kills his whole image, huh?"

"I hate to be so shallow, but..." She laughed a little helplessly.

"That's not being shallow, Lena," Duo said quickly, filling in the gap. "You guys just... That's just what you mean to each other. Honestly, I bet Heero wouldn't really want to see you at your worst, either, for what that's worth. Which, I dunno if that just made things better or worse..."

Relena laughed again, this time in relief at not having to explain too much. "Oh, it's terrible, isn't it? That's why... That's why it's good that it's you, Duo. You can be strong for him, instead of him feeling like he has to be strong for you."

Duo chuckled rather self-consciously. "Well, it's all just a matter of perspective. I mean, given what he's fighting back from... that's his strength right there. That's all the strength I need to see. That's him in the nutshell right there."

"Oh, Duo..." Relena beamed at him. "You're right. You're absolutely right about that." They fell into companionable silence again as a pair of Preventers walked down the hall past them. Once they had disappeared around a corner, Relena started up again. "He gave us quite a scare, didn't he?"

"Man..." Duo ran a tired hand through his bangs. "That's one way of putting it. I'm going to give him an earful, just as soon as he gets over that whole mumbling-nonsense thing."

"Saving it up until he can properly apologize, are you? Good. You may give him a second earful on my behalf," she announced loftily.

He smirked wryly. "Consider it done. Or at least added to that long list of things I've already got to talk to him about." He sighed. "He promised, yanno? Right before that attack, he promised that we'd have a chance to sit down and talk about stuff."

"He's keeping his word so far," Relena said softly. "He's coming back to us. And he'll apologize for making you wait so long. I know he will."

Duo snorted. "He better. Thinking about it... it all seems so petty in comparison, you know? I guess I can kinda see what he meant. About... 'last time', and how he was alive, and we were all okay, and that... that was pretty much all that really mattered. He's still totally not off the hook for not telling me stuff, but... I have to think to remember what it was all about now. Well, I guess if nothing else, he'll remember for me. At least, I hope he remembers..."

"He remembers everything important, Duo. I'm told the first clear word that came out of his mouth was your name."

"Yeah, he seemed awful pleased about that, too." He shook his head fondly. "I guess time will tell with the rest. Yeah, he's still Heero. No matter how many neurons may have gotten fried, no doubt about that. Even last time... Last time, while he was recovering, and I was with him, it was so... so crazy."

"'Crazy'?" Her tone made it clear that that wasn't quite the word she had been expecting.

"We... Yeah, I'd already had a pretty big thing for him by then, but..." He expelled a deep breath. "When it came down to just us, just me and him and none of all that stuff muddying things up between us... It was so clear to me. So easy to fall head over heels for him."

"Are things getting 'crazy' again?"

"A little bit, yeah. Less crazy, maybe, since we've been through this once before, but way more crazy, since it's different this time."

"Well, it'll give you a chance to fall in love all over again."

"Now if only we could stop doing this on a five-year cycle. I'd kind of prefer to be in a constant state of falling or something, rather than just once every--" He cut himself off abruptly with a shudder.

"Duo?" When she received no answer, she stopped, forcing Duo to stop with her. "Duo? What's wrong?"

He shook his head emphatically. "Nothing. Let's keep going."

She pinned him in place with a stern look that reminded him way too much of Heero in one of his stubborn moments. "We're not going anywhere until you tell me what just put that look on your face."

He took a few steps to the side to lean against the wall. He told himself it was to clear the path in the middle of the empty hallway, to give things more of a casual feel, and probably nothing to do with just wanting to go somewhere in defiance of Relena's edict because he knew that was probably all the concession he was going to squeeze out of her.

"Well?"

Definitely all the concession he'd get. He scrubbed over his face with one hand, the other hiding petulantly in his pocket. "Forget it. Like everyone keeps pointing out, I probably just need more sleep or something."

"You'd rather be in a constant state of love, rather than just once every five years? Is that what you were going to say?"

Duo's wince said it all. "I just meant... it shouldn't take something near-catastrophic for me to pull my head out of my ass and realize how damn much he means to me. Especially since it already happened once, because twice now is starting to say something." He bit his tongue after that, already having revealed more than he'd intended.

With a small sigh, Relena moved to lean on the wall next to him, though she wasn't really the wall-leaning type. "It's down to just you and him now, you said. None of those other bothersome things getting in the way. Make the most of this time."

"But there's always going to be 'bothersome things', Relena," he bit out, struggling to keep his voice down. "If not this stuff, something else is going to come up, something... something! And then what? Heero's gonna have to go get himself into another absolutely ridiculous situation that only he could possibly get into? Just to kick my ass into gear? Granted, he's got a stupid strange talent for it, but that doesn't mean I want him exercising it all the time. What if it's not even the 'bothersome' stuff going away that's good? What if it's like, I just like it that he's weak and he needs me? Wouldn't that be sick and twisted?"

"Don't you make me slap you in public, Duo Maxwell," Relena snapped quietly.

Well, that brought him to an abrupt stop. He blinked. "What, seriously?"

"Are you?" she demanded to know.

"Uh..." Suddenly he was shifting his weight uncomfortably and playing with the tail of his braid. "You mean, am I serious? Well, shi-- um, that is... Guy's allowed to vent once in a while, isn't he?" he concluded defensively.

Relena sniffed in distaste. "So you understand how completely absurd what you just said was?"

The question mark was hanging onto the end of that sentence by just a thread. Agreeing seemed to be the only viable option for getting out of this situation in one piece. "Yeah."

"Good. Now, you love him, and he loves you, and if some other 'bothersome thing' comes up, it'll be because you let it become a bothersome thing at all, which could only imply some level of foolishness on your part. And we know how little Heero tolerates foolishness, yes?"

"Uh. Yeah."

"Well, I'm glad that's settled. Shall we continue on to dinner?"

"Um. Of course."

Relena seemed perfectly comfortable in the silence that followed them to the commissary, though Duo might have characterized it as awkward. She stopped them again just outside their destination and turned to him with a sympathetic look on her face. "Duo?"

"Yeah?" He was reasonably confident that he had suppressed a cringe.

"Heero's strength is in his determination to fight through whatever obstacles life throws at him, to overcome them and succeed in achieving his goals. We should both remember that, and try to emulate it."

He stared at her for a little while, and then at the toes of his boots. At length, he exhaled loudly and looked up again. "Yeah. We should." He pushed open the door to the commissary and held it for her. "But couldn't you have said that first, without the threat of slapping me?"

"Hmpf," she said as she breezed on through. "You deserved it."

OWARI

 

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