Kyuuketsuki Duo: The TV Series Episode 20
Shaken, Not Stirred

Quatre has accepted him so easily into his heart, but I am yet unwilling. There is nothing that he does to raise my hackles, and yet he has done little to reassure me of his good intentions. He is a boy of too many secrets -- no, not a boy, not at all. An otherworldly creature, a guardian of the veil between our world and the Shinma's. Who knows how many years have come and gone beneath his amethyst gaze?

Yet another secret. But of course, like so much of Duo Maxwell, a paradox, for it is not so much a secret as something he merely does not mention. Would he tell, were we to ask? Or would he artfully dodge, slip between our questions as easily as he does through the shadows?

Would I be more willing to accept his ways, had I not seen so often in my dreams the smug countenance of a demoness, smirking mockingly as she bowed herself out and into a shadow?

Why? Why does my mind insist on drawing parallels between him and the demons I have faced? Sometimes it is a struggle, an intense mental exercise to remind myself of the differences.

I despised Lei Fang from the moment I saw her. I was wary of Duo from the start, but then again, I am wary of a great number of people. But even so, he has a certain affability about him, a charm and charisma that urge me to give up my doubts and suspicions. Even now, as I watch him leading Quatre through some simple mental exercises, he playfully teases the boy to set him at ease. He acts with such calm confidence that our young spiritualist cannot help but to be encouraged by it. He smiles, and Quatre finds himself following suit.

He and Lei Fang both have an affinity for the mysterious smile, but hers always had an edge. Either she was so filled with malicious joy that she could not keep it to herself, or else she wanted you to know that she knew something that you didn't. Duo's unnerving smiles are offhand, natural. Either he is teasing, or he is smiling from something beyond our knowledge. There is no sense of superiority. Just that he isn't quite entirely here.

I knew Lei Fang for less than a day, yet it seems so much longer, for I have known her ever since. The demon temptress has stayed in my mind to haunt me intimately, even more so than the demon Epyon himself. It was she, with her slick words and deceitful, womanly ways, who ensnared my cousin and broke the seals. Yet Duo, I met only shortly thereafter, and he, for whatever his reasons, remains distant, tries to keep us out of his world, as much as he can, rather than suck us in.

Lei Fang was filled with lies. She is a demon, a creature of shadows and Hell dimensions. Duo claims not to lie. He is mostly Shinma, a creature of shadows and the realm of the Dark. Lei Fang would manipulate us. Duo would save us from being manipulated.

No, but that isn't quite true. Not confirmably, at least. Freeing us from the silken lies of the false reverend served his own purposes as well. But he could easily have destroyed the Shinma with less trouble, had he had no care for our welfare. It is possible that he could have displayed such concern as a act, towards what purpose I know not. To keep us in his confidences? What possible use could we have to him?

But, no, Duo is far too straightforward for such elaborate subterfuge. Even as he avoids giving us our complete answers, dances through our words and leads us in his own direction, there is a certain openness to his evasion, if that makes any sense. I think he does that more for our benefit, than his own. He herds us gently away from those things we don't need to know, placates us with smooth misdirection rather than outright rejection. Is he even capable of giving a completely straight answer?

I take it back. Duo isn't very straightforward, after all.

Can I blame him? We are creatures of two very different worlds. The beings of the otherrealms make it their practice to deceive. But it seems to me that Duo takes the effort to set himself apart from them. He chooses not to lie, or so he says. He engages in human activities. He lives in a house, goes to school, does his homework, socializes with his friends...

...and returns Shinma to the Dark in his spare time. Ah, but am I not similar? I go through the motions of daily life, when really, my main focus lies somewhere in another realm entirely. The main difference is that he has been at this for so much longer than I. When he first started down his path as guardian, did he stumble along as well?

Just where is he from, anyway? Did he spring full-grown from the veil, a construct of ether and power? But no, he said his duty was passed through his bloodline. He must have had a father and a mother. Did they keep the truth of his heritage from him, give him the illusion of normalcy for the duration of his youth? Is that why he can act so naturally human? Or did he know from the start who and what he is?

Yet it is clear that he has been at his duty for much more than the sixteen years of his appearance would imply. Then what of the rest of his line, if he is as long-lived as he seems to be? And surely he must be, for there are far too many dark shadows swirling within his eyes, on those occasions when one can catch him thusly revealed. Or perhaps the knowledge and memories of all his ancestors and predecessors are passed along to succeeding generations, and he carries the burden of them all. One does not work for so long on such a grim duty without earning at least a few scars. Where do his lie? And will they rise up to strike us when we least expect it?

Do I mistrust him merely because he is of that other world? I don't like to think that of myself, and yet, I would think even less of myself, were I to discard the notion immediately.

The others have taken to him. What holds me back?

What have I to gain from him? Can he help me, with his knowledge and experience? He has his own battle, and I mine, and so our struggles are quite separate.

"Wufei." I look up. He has left Quatre to practice on his own for a moment, and stands now before me, beneath the shade of one of the many trees in Quatre's landscaped yard. He is garbed in his school clothes as usual. To put us at ease, no doubt. "Things going okay with you?"

I raise an eyebrow at him. Of course things are going okay. Nevertheless, he remains completely unfazed by my response.

"I appreciate you coming out here."

My eyes must surely have widened, at least a little. What could he possibly appreciate about my mostly suspicious presence? He obviously needs no help with training Quatre, and my company is not so sparkling that anyone would seek it out.

"Shows me you care what happens to Quatre and stuff."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, keeping an eye on him. Keeping an eye on me. Making sure I don't go and do evil and unspeakable things to him."

He knows. He knows I don't trust him yet. He knows I am watching him closely. He knows I come here not so much to learn from him as because I don't trust leaving him alone and in charge of directing Quatre's use of his power. Who is to say that he isn't trying, in his own way, to manipulate and use Quatre the same way the Darcy creature did?

I am not surprised that he knows.

My heart. My heart says to trust him. My mind says to not. If it were the other way around, if my instincts were screaming at me of evil intentions, but my mind were unable to find any evidence, I would not hesitate to follow the dictates of my inner feelings. But this... this is different.

Perhaps I just choose not to trust, regardless of what is advising it.

He shrugs carelessly, and halfway across the yard, Quatre winces. Duo must have done something, tested or corrected him. The blonde's countenance quickly smoothes itself back to one of concentration. "Yeah, I know you're here playing chaperone for us." He quirks a smile at me. It's a nice, clean, and honest twitch of his lips. "Not that I don't think there's some stuff for you to be learning now, too.... But that's good. That you don't trust me. It'll keep you safe."

"I don't trust you, yet you trust me with his safety?" I ask, jerking my chin in Quatre's direction. Do I trust me with his safety? My failures only began with the night of Epyon's release. Did I not prove weak and ineffective that night? Was I not defeated effortlessly by Lei Fang? Does my mother not now lie in a hospital across town, because I failed to save her soul and grant her release? Did I not get manipulated into allying myself with the enemy? Did I not fail to protect Meiran from harm?

"You shouldn't trust too easily, especially in this business. But I know you enough to know that you wouldn't want to see anyone hurt. Especially someone like him."

His assertion does not allay my doubts. "Do I know you enough to return the favor?"

Another smile, but this one is one of those mysterious, yet strangely honest, ones. "No. You don't. You may never."

"That does nothing to reassure me."

"Just trust that so long as you don't get in my way, I won't get in yours. I am devoted to my duty, and you to yours, and I see no reason why they should run to counter purposes."

"That still does nothing to reassure me."

He laughs, and it does not send chills down my spine. "Would you trust me if I coddled and reassured you?"

Perhaps he does know me well enough.

TBC...

how many ?s can i fit into a single fic? unfortunately, i feel it is appropriate, because wufei is as yet full of questions. the title is supposed to refer to wufei being shaken, not stirred.

 

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