Moments of Haven Part 73
X'mas AC198 - Part II
Duo looked around and caught sight of the others trailing behind them and off to the side. He slowed, but Heero's soft cluck of his tongue and tilt of his head made him keep pace with his boyfriend again. "D'you think it's okay?" he whispered, feeling antsy. It felt like there were little pinpricks of funny looks bouncing off his back, right between his shoulderblades.
Heero sighed, its sound covered by the soft rustling of leaves in the wintering woods. Their pace was stroll-like enough that the twigs did little more than shift and crinkle underneath their feet, with perhaps the occasional crackle for variety. "Maybe it's better if we just leave them be for a little while. Give them some time to figure things out."
"Give -them- time? -We're- the gay ones. Aren't we supposed to be the ones figuring things out?"
"We've had since spring to figure things out. Surely we can give them at least a few hours." And at least a few minutes apart. It was always easier to react to things when a person wasn't being put on the spot. Initial reactions often got muddled by other things, the act of revelation rather than the content of the revelation itself, and Heero wasn't particularly keen on following the progression. He wasn't sure what steps would be taken in the meantime, but he was fairly confident that it would all end up alright.
"Since spring, huh?" Duo echoed. Yeah, that was about right. It seemed so long ago, and yet not nearly long enough. His new and improved relationship with Heero came as naturally as breathing these days, and hey, even breathing had its occasional problems -- hiccups, coughs, asthma, bronchitis -- so the analogy didn't bother him overmuch. And yet it wasn't as if it simply washed away the memories of their former lives. The past was still there, just past-er. "What do you think? Do you think we really did just forget to tell them, or were we really hiding it from them? I don't remember making any decision not to tell them. Not recently anyway. Sure, in the beginning, we were figuring things out still, so I get not telling them right away. But now..."
"Well, we told them. What's done is done." Heero wasn't the sort of person to dwell on such things unless he ran out of other, more worthy things to dwell on. He had plenty of those.
"I know. But... they're our friends. Family, kind of. I just want to know if we were hiding things from them." That was important. And if they hadn't been, he wanted a plausible defense ready for the inevitable accusation.
"We told them as soon as it came up. It's not like we ever lied to them about it." The defense sounded a little vulnerable, even to him, but he left his faith in it. It would hold up.
Duo frowned. "I believe there are such things as lies of omission, Heero."
And it was an admirable trait of his, Heero thought, even though he was mistaken in applying it in this instance. "I don't think it's omitting anything when there was never an opening in which to bring it up. It's not like we've ever discussed relationships with any of them before. It's not the sort of thing I would just announce out of the blue."
"So maybe we just didn't know how to say it?" That wasn't a bad excuse. Not a terrific one, but at least it was understandable. Even right now, if the others hadn't walked in on them, he wasn't certain how he might have gone about informing the others of the change in their status. Maybe acting as they had was a way of doing that, of smoothing the transition for them with visibly intimate, though not sexual, behaviors. Yeah, maybe that would work. Maybe they'd been telling them for a long time, just really slowly.
Heero nodded thoughtfully. "And... I think it would have been different, if they'd known."
He chewed on his lip for a few seconds. "...Do you think it'll be different now?"
"No, provided they get over it, which I think is highly likely. With all we've been through together, this... this is nothing compared to that. If they get hung up on this... I'll be very sad." Heero paused for a moment to listen and make sure the others hadn't fallen too far behind before he chose a path leading northward. "But that's not what I meant, really. I meant, now is a good time for this, I think. We're committed. We're long-term."
"I liked that." He smiled slyly, casually bumping their shoulders together. He wasn't sure why it sounded better than 'love' to him, but it did, and he would remember it and use it again sometime later.
Heero smiled in a sidelong manner himself. "We're in a good place, where what they think can't shake us. A few months ago... things might have been different."
It was the first time he could ever recall hearing Heero express any sort of doubt, no matter how vague. "Imagine we'd said something before, and then things didn't work out. Do you believe we really could have gone back to being 'just friends'?"
In the beginning, perhaps. But a few months ago? "I think that would depend on what ended up breaking us apart," he answered cautiously. He wasn't sure if he should consider it a good thing that their relationship was powerful enough to have everlasting effects on them regardless of success or failure, or if he should be disappointed in himself for having had such hubris as to believe that they could have gone back to mere friendship so easily. He really hadn't had any idea how deep and complex and involving a simple love could be.
"Yeah, I guess," Duo agreed slowly. "Maybe. If we did actually manage that, I can't imagine that they could believe it, and wow what a mess that could be."
"Instead, what they don't know can't hurt them?"
"And then maybe one day we'd all be at a get-together or something, and it'd just be like, yeah, me and Heero, we tried that whole snogging thing once." He shrugged, waving his hand airily. "Didn't work out. So, who's up for that hike now? Heh, guess that's really no better than what we've got right now."
"Only it did work out, and that makes all the difference in the world."
Duo's gaze dropped to the ground for a while as he hid the curve of his lips. "Yeah. I guess." Their shoulders bumped again as they enjoyed the scenery. Duo had been right; this really was more of a stroll than a hike.
*****
"Why didn't I see it?"
"That's the third time you've muttered that to yourself, Winner," Wufei scolded him.
"I pride myself on being able to read people, you know. Looking at them now, it's like it's so obvious they're so close to each other." He attempted to keep the pout off his face.
Trowa looked ahead to the pair in question, murmuring to each other softly, heads always kept tilted slightly toward each other in a show of constant awareness. "You've always known they were close, Quatre. They're just a little closer than you thought."
"A little?"
There was really no reason for Winner to be hissing things through his teeth like that, Wufei thought, even if Trowa's words had been a wonderful understatement of the facts. "It's only been a few days. Maybe you would have picked up on it yourself."
Quatre was barely mollified. Either he needed to work on his people skills, or he just needed to spend more time with his friends. "Would you have guessed it?"
"No," he admitted. Perhaps he would not have been surprised to find Duo in a relationship with someone, but Heero would have been a surprise with anyone. There was no offense intended toward Heero; he only believed that his taciturn comrade had little interest in such things. That the two of them had decided to started a relationship with each other was quite bizarre indeed, and yet he was not entirely surprised. The two did have a penchant for sometimes bizarre behavior. In that way, they were evenly matched. "No, but I do not pride myself on my ability to read people."
"Hmpf, some Preventer you are."
"I only need to know when a person is lying to me, or if that person is trustworthy. I do not need to be able to divine the details of their sex lives. On the off-chance that such a situation does arise, that is what Po is for."
Quatre wasn't interested in the details of their sex lives. It was that there was a sex life at all. "So you don't think they were lying to us?"
"They aren't that kind of people. As Yuy said, if they did lie, then I do not believe that they did so with any malice. Simple discretion is an admirable trait."
Trowa nodded and put in his two cents. "I don't believe that it is in any of our natures to be openly demonstrative with our most vulnerable of feelings while in the presence of others."
"And yet they are with each other," Quatre mused. "Hm, no, maybe it's not so surprising, after all. They always did seem to be strangely communicative with each other. Somehow. Argh, look at them communicating right now."
The two had bumped shoulders quite companionably, conveying some sort of message through the simple contact. As a quiet communicator himself, Trowa saw nothing strange about it. "Quatre, do you have a problem with their relationship?"
"No, of course not." The look he threw Trowa was more irritable than anything else. "Don't say things like that. They can do whatever they like, if it makes them happy. It's just..." He trailed off, not quite certain how he wanted to finish that sentence. For lack of inspiration, he chose the most obvious conclusion. "...Unexpected in so many ways. I'm surprised. Back in school, there were times I thought for sure they'd tear each other's throats out. Not that they were ever vicious or anything. It was obvious they were just on two completely different wavelengths. And now look at them."
"If it's mere surprise that's throwing you off like this, then you must be terrible in the boardroom."
"This isn't the boardroom," he snapped. His sharp and immediate retort left him feeling nonplussed, and he shrugged uncomfortably afterwards, trying to cover it. "It's just... weird."
"It's their business, Quatre. They seem to be happy with the way things are. It's not our place to judge."
"I'm not judging. I'm not saying it's wrong, or even right. I'm just saying. It's... weird. Unexpected." Something about it threw him off, anyway. He watched as they touched shoulders again and rolled his eyes. Oh, sure, now he could feel their closeness. Stupid people-sense. What the hell good was it when he couldn't even see such obvious things about the people he considered closest to him? "Don't you think it's weird?"
"Not really." They got along. They decided to make things physical, for whatever reasons. Trowa had seen it before, plenty of times, recently and when he was younger. The only odd thing about it to him was that it seemed lasting. But then, it was always possible that they would change their minds later. People did that a lot. That wouldn't be odd at all.
Wufei cleared his throat. "If that's all. Perhaps we should consider letting them know that we have no difficulties with their relationship. Since they seemed to be concerned about that." Which was very considerate of them. If nothing else, that scored them points.
Taking the silence of his companions as assent, he moved to catch up with the pair, leaving the others to follow. "I believe there is a small lake about a kilometer to the west of here."
Heero nodded, taking the neutral offer in stride and turning their feet in that direction.
A little uneasy with the unspoken acceptance, Duo made small talk into the silence. "You know what this place doesn't have? A hot tub. Or a jacuzzi. Or something along those lines, anyway."
"You don't like baths or swimming, Duo," Heero pointed out, knocking their elbows together. "Why would you want to sit in a jacuzzi?"
Quite beside the point. "They're totally different, man. I'm surprised. I mean, isn't that what rich folks do? They stub their toes skiing or something, and then go soak in the jacuzzi afterwards?"
"Who would pack swim trunks in this weather?"
"Who says we couldn't... um, do something else," he finished lamely. If he was going to go skinny dipping, it certainly wouldn't be with any of the others, anyway.
It was a less than graceful recovery that should have been unnecessary. Since Wufei was the one that had initiated this, he took responsibility for it and spoke. "I can only speak for myself, but I expect you to act with a certain decorum and respect for others. Beyond that, you may do as you please. What you do in the bedroom is definitely none of my concern."
Trowa nodded in agreement, then looked expectantly at Quatre, who was a little grumpy for being singled out, even if he had brought it upon himself. "I have to sit on that couch."
Duo blinked, then shrugged. "No prob. We'll make out on some other couch." Heero elbowed him in the side, and he ignored it. "But you know, technically, we were just on the back of the couch, which probably isn't where you sit anyway, so..."
"Well. As long as that's settled, then." Quatre smiled pleasantly. "If you're happy, I'm happy. Carry on."
Heero and Duo glanced at each other and acknowledged their current standing. Things probably weren't so simple as they sounded, but the moment slid on by. They still had quite a few days left in their group vacation, so they could deal with this situation the same way they had dealt with everything else in their relationship thus far: one step at a time.
TBC...
Back to Jei's Fanfictions Page