I Backward Cast My E'e Part 25
Hello, hope everything is going well with you and yours.
I had a fairly roundabout e-mail typed up for you, trying to not be so forward, but reading over it, it seemed to me that being short and to the point would probably be more appreciated. I don't suspect telling you a longwinded story would make the answer to my question any more my business than it would otherwise be.
In short, I remember Jake on many different occasions making assumptions about people based solely on their appearance. We all do that to one degree or another, though we may often be quite incorrect, so I didn't really keep track of the details. However, recently I've remembered him saying on several occasions that men with long hair were most likely gay.
I naturally couldn't help but notice the length of Duo's hair. I don't remember when exactly Jake said the things he did, whether it would have been before or after the time you said you ran into him at that fair, nor do I know how long Duo's hair would have been at the time, though I imagine it's taken him quite some time to cultivate it to such a fine length.
It isn't really any of my business whether Duo is gay or not. I would just like to know whether or not Jake made statements to that effect at the time you ran into him. I feel like it would fill in yet another blank in my understanding of their relationship, and of the opinions and biases that Jake formed over the years.
For the record, I don't think I would have any problem with Duo if he is gay. I will be honest and admit that I do not know any gay people, or not that I know of, anyway, so I've never really thought too hard about it before. Maybe that's why I let Jake's occasional remark against them slide. I've resolved that, if for no other reason than for my daughter's sake, that I would like to give it some thought, and I hope that I will find myself open-minded, and I hope that I can pass that on to my daughter, and speak out against such prejudices so as to set a good example for her. I do not know how much of Jake's biases may have soaked into her brain. As I said, just for the sake of being kind-hearted and open-minded individuals, I plan to be more forward in encouraging tolerance in my daughter. But if you were to tell me that Duo is in fact gay, well, I would just put an extra effort into it, I suppose. As both you and Duo have been so generous in indulging my hope that Maddie can one day meet with you, it would be ridiculous to allow for such a minor thing to possibly get in the way of that going smoothly.
- Elizabeth
~*~
Yep, Duo had long hair went we ran into Jake. Can't say for sure whether or not Jake had the opinions he did about long hair when we ran into him, but if he didn't, he sure did by the time we left. It really didn't take him very long to make all kinds of judgment calls. Yeah, accusing Duo of being gay was one of them. But Duo started growing his hair out long before he figured out his sexuality, so I can't really say there's any correlation between the two things.
Yeah, it's none of your business, but I don't think Duo would try to hide the fact that he's gay from you. He's out and not ashamed of it, though I think he's smart enough to be discreet when appropriate. But that's now. When we ran into Jake, Duo was still figuring himself out. Don't really remember how far along in acceptance he was by then, but he definitely wasn't out about it. Jake could have messed him up pretty bad over it, but I guess we're lucky Duo's the type who'd go for being happy and gay as a middle finger to his old man, rather than taking what the guy said to heart and rejecting that part of himself.
So yeah, that daughter of yours had better not come here with any problems about that, or she shouldn't bother coming out at all. Duo's a great kid, and maybe you can barely find him without that boyfriend of his glued to his side these days, but he's not defined by his sexuality in the slightest.
- Howard
~*~
Thank you for answering my questions, Howard. It means a lot to me. I'll make sure Maddie doesn't have a problem with it. Not to make it sound as if it is only because Duo is gay and I want them to get along. But I'm glad that I know it now, since as I said before, I didn't know anyone that was gay that I know of, and it's always a little shaky to be trying to tell your child things without any knowledge or personal experience to back you up. It's almost as if they can sense your weaknesses in that regard, and will try to happily exploit that in their own favor. And I suppose I can't exactly get upset about that, since I hardly want her to accept the things that people say without question, even if they come straight out of her mother's mouth. I wouldn't want her accepting everything that had come out of her father's mouth, too.
I find myself wondering if Jake's strong and instant disapproval of Duo was a sign that he still felt that Duo was still 'his son' in some way, or if it's just a sign of one of Jake's personality flaws that he could take an attribute of someone he had long ago dissociated himself from and see it as a personal insult. I'm afraid I don't really want to know the answer.
At this point, I admit it's just my curiosity getting the better of me. You say Duo has a boyfriend. Would that by chance be that young man I saw him with all the time? Hiro, was it? I didn't finally learn his name until I ran into Duo that last time in the Village, but I do remember him being there every time I saw Duo. He was quiet most of the time, but he struck me as a very caring and supporting friend.
- Elizabeth
~*~
Heero? Let's just say, when you finally get around to dropping by with your kid, I'm sure you'll see him again.
~*~
"Hello?"
"Heero."
"Trowa." The greetings were followed by a brief silence.
"So... Spring break, huh?"
"Yep."
"Have you had sex with Duo yet?"
Heero blinked. This was what he got out of his comfy spot on the sofa for? What he put his reading down for? He drifted back to the sofa and sat back down next to his Grumpy companion. "Really? That's all the preamble you're going to bother with before popping the question on me?"
"I'm not talking 'til you do."
He deciphered that response, then sighed softly. Okay, fine, he could make this tiny little sacrifice to help a friend in need. "Yes."
"Wow. Really?"
There were any number of responses he could have made to that. He decided to keep to short and sweet. "Yes."
"Any issues?"
Heero reflexively glanced around his small apartment to make sure Duo wasn't around, though he knew full well that his boyfriend was off hanging out with some of his other friends on campus. "Almost. Maybe. Possibly. But then the moment was past and... well. That was that. Mission accomplished, you could say."
"Glad we finally got you prepared, eh?"
"He was ready to stop short again," he conceded with a snort. "We got to that point, and then I whipped out the stuff, and... I think he resisted for a few seconds. Not going to try to guess why. But then he got over it."
"Good for him. Was it good for you, too?"
Heero couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped him, though he tried to keep Trowa from hearing it and winning the point. "Good enough." Good enough for a second go at it to be made at some point, and that was really all that mattered.
"You didn't get all mushy about it, did you?"
He made an amused sound. They'd just been somewhat frisky with each other all day, and one thing had led to another in a way that he admittedly felt a little awkward thinking back on, but that was just his personality, and a year ago he'd have probably locked himself in the bathroom for a week, so he could be proud that he'd at least gotten over that sort of mortification, even if it did take a little mental yoga. "I'd probably reduce my chances of getting laid again if I got all mushy with Duo." Now that Heero had anted up, it was time to move along to whatever it was that Trowa had on his mind. "So. Quatre."
"Quatre..." Trowa sighed audibly over the line.
"No change?"
"He's... Well, at least I managed to not make him freak out and decide to break up with me."
"Ah. Well, you've got me beat, then. Duo really did break up with me for a little while that first time."
"Hm. Yeah, I guess that makes me feel better. Anyway. No change, I guess, if you're talking about whether or not we've reached any conclusions. But at least, as you said, I've made sure he's not dropping my ball."
"Is Quatre aiming so high because that's what he wants for himself, or because he feels like he has to?"
"A little of both, maybe. You know how he is with his dad. Or what his dad is like with him. He's been pushing Quatre harder lately. Quatre's pushing back with one hand and going along with it with the other. All things considered, I like his dad, you know? But sometimes, I just wish he'd shut up."
Heero twiddled Grumpy's ear for a bit, weighing his options. "Has Quatre... talked to his dad?"
"What, you mean like about backing off? Huh, you know, I don't really think he has."
"Maybe he should?"
"I suppose he could, but I don't see it making much of a difference. Winners don't settle for second best, after all. I kind of feel like it's probably better that they don't talk about it. Either Quatre's gonna get flaming pissed off and rebel, or he's going buckle under the pressure and do as he's told, and I'm not exactly excited about either option."
"Maybe... Quatre would find out why his dad is pushing him so hard."
"Winners don't settle... Are you trying to hint at something, Heero? 'Cuz if you are, you're doing a pretty crappy job of it."
"If you picked up on it, I couldn't be doing that crappy of a job, now could I?"
"Just because I can figure out that you're hinting at something doesn't mean I've any clue what you're hinting at."
That was sort of the point. Wouldn't be much of a hint if he was saying it straight out. "I'm not 'hinting' that Quatre should talk to his dad. I'm recommending it outright."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Try again."
"What's wrong with a father-son chat?"
"I'm getting really weirded out that you of all people are trying to push other people into talking more."
"I talk plenty when there's need for it. Quatre's got a need. He should try it."
"You either know something we don't, or you've had this kind of situation before. And since I've never known Odin to pressure you about anything, I'm guessing it's the first. What do you know?"
There was the occasional downside to having friends that knew too much, but having gotten this far into the conversation, Heero didn't think too hard about whether or not he would share his information with his friend. "Look, between you and me.... Odin may have mentioned a conversation he had with Quatre's dad once."
"Care to elaborate?"
"Quatre should really have a chat with his dad. It's not my place to say anything to him on his dad's behalf. But... I just think the two of them could learn some things about each other."
"Between you and me, you said. It's not your place to tell Quatre what Odin said Quatre's dad said. Just as it's not my place to tell Quatre what you said about what Odin said that Quatre's dad said. Which means you should just tell me."
There was probably something wrong with that line of logic, but Heero chose to go with it. "Quatre's dad is more or less okay with the gay thing, isn't he?"
"Yeah, far as I know. I think he'd prefer it if his son were straight, but he's not, so he deals with it. Why?"
"Quatre's not exactly 'out', you said, but he's not the type to live a lie, right?"
"Yeah, there's a difference between not saying anything and saying things that aren't true. What are you getting at here?"
"It's not easy being gay. What parent wants that for their kid? For Quatre, who's going out there into that cutthroat business world?"
"What, is he afraid Quatre's not strong enough to handle it or something?"
"I'm not going to put any words into his mouth. I have my information secondhand, after all. But I'd feel comfortable saying that, if Quatre's going to go out there with something that could be perceived as a weakness by others, then he better set out to be damn good at what he does."
"Great, you want to stick me with a guy hell-bent on overcompensating? Pass."
"It's not a matter of 'compensating' so much as 'mitigating'. Brilliant people are allowed their little eccentricities. He needs to be so brilliant that his sexuality is irrelevant, that anyone who tries to take advantage of it will not just lose, but be seen as an idiot. As far as I can see -- I make no claims as to what or how far Mr. Winner can see -- this is Quatre's best strategy for surviving in that world."
There was silence while Trowa pondered that. "I don't think he needs to go that far to make it in that world... But I also know that Quatre's not being half-assed about things. He doesn't want to just 'survive' in that world. He wants to thrive. He might even want to own it. And it's not something that his father is pushing on him. Maybe he raised him with that kind of personality, but whatever. It's all Quatre now. What you're saying, whatever the source of your wisdom... Maybe. Right or not about what Quatre's dad thinks, I think you're right that maybe they should talk. I think he needs to realize that Quatre's already aiming at the top, and he's probably going to get there, too, and all on his own. He doesn't need his dad telling him stuff he already knows."
Heero smirked proudly at Grumpy, as if wanting the bear to recognize his job well done.
TBC...
Back to Jei's Fanfictions Page