Author: Gypsie1201
Pairings: 1x2
Warnings: Death fic, Angst, Post EW, POV
Rating: R
Archive: A Study in Obsession, Debs-Dragon - GW Diaries, Akira_1x2
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters, nor will I make any money from the creation of this story.
Feedback: All is welcome and much appreciated.
Summary: It's a matter of believing.
Author's Note: Title and inspiration from the song "Shadow of the Day" by Linkin Park.
Shadow of the Day
The coffee in my cup has long since grown cold as I stand here looking out into the world that surrounds our home. This morning, the sun had been bright with a light breeze and I'd opened the windows so that the warm air could circulate through the stuffy room. It'd been a long, hard winter this year and we'd both been eagerly awaiting the beginning of spring and the return of the sun. The chance to enjoy the warmth and clean air that spring always brought.
As the day had progressed though, the storm clouds had gathered, yet another sign of warm weather's return. And by the time four o'clock arrived, the rain had begun to fall, chilling the air once again and I'd been forced to close the windows for fear that the cold might hurt you. You'd grown so weak over the last few days, barely able to even raise your head from the pillow.
When the wars had ended and we'd finally brought lasting peace to the earth sphere, we'd had such high hopes. Hope for a life free of fighting, free of struggling to survive, free of loss. Little did we know that that freedom and hope would be so short lived. We'd only just settled down into our new home, just three short months following the Mariemeia Incident, when the doctors made the diagnosis that would change our lives forever.
It was a rare form of cancer, known only to strike those of L2 origin, and was thought to have something to do with the plague that had ravaged that colony so many years ago. You never thought your living through that horrible time could have such terrible consequences in the end. But I wouldn't have had it any other way, and neither would you, even with all the pain it's brought. Even with all the heartbreak.
Reaching out, I flip the locks on the windows and pull the blinds until they're completely closed, blocking out the now dreary, gray afternoon, before turning toward the bed. The doctors had been right when they said it wouldn't be long before the sign began to show themselves. How they managed to hold off for so long, they didn't understand but I had a feeling they hadn't. I can remember how easily you'd gone down with just one punch during the uprising. Not something you'd likely done just a year earlier so I knew even then, the cancer was beginning to sap your energy, your so very beautiful life force.
As I look at your pixie face now though, I can't see it, the ravages that the cancer has put you through over the past year. Instead, I see the wonderful man I fell in love with not long after I fell to earth. Even the smile that lights your face is heart-warmingly familiar. It's a smile I haven't seen in quite a long time, at least not without the tinge of constant pain you've been under. But now, it's free of that pain, finally free of it all.
With sure steps I wouldn't have been able to manage a few weeks ago, I carry myself to your bedside, pausing for only a second to set my cold cup down on the table as I pass. Once there, I raise one hand and gently brush the bangs back from your closed eyes. You look so peaceful, sleeping, and I can't help but smile in return even as my eyes once again fill with tears. It'd happened about an hour after the rain began to fall, peaceful and quiet. Something else I'm glad for, that you were able to see one more sunny day and that there wasn't any more pain. God knows, you've known enough of that.
Of course, this was something we'd talk about, quite a bit actually, especially a few weeks ago. You'd seemed like you knew the end was near and you'd wanted me to know that you were ready and that I didn't have anything to be sad about. We'd sat up for hours one night, the longest you'd been able to stay awake for several months, as you told me about growing up on L2; about the plague, and Solo, and most specifically, about your time at the Maxwell Church. You told me about everything you learned there, the things you'd abandoned in your need for revenge after the church's destruction, the things you'd re-embraced after the diagnosis. You were so adamant that there was something after this life, that there was a life to be lived even after death, that I had no choice but to believe you. And it's for that reason alone that I'm not falling apart at the seams right now; the reason that I can smile and know in my heart that, after a lifetime of pain and sorrow, you are finally at peace.
With a heaviness in my heart that no amount of talk or reassurance could ever erase, I gently pull the sheet up to cover your face, before turning away to make the call. The tears I'd been holding back are freely flowing down my face by now and they only seem to increase when, as I reach for the telephone, I see the many cards, balloons, and flowers sitting on your bedside tables. The guys had come over just the night before to spend some time with you and at that thought, I find one more thing to be thankful for. They didn't know it at the time, as they told you how much better you looked and how, one day soon, you'd be up and driving them all crazy again, that you were actually saying goodbye.
Picking up the telephone with one hand, I pluck one of the red roses I'd bought for you just the day before and bring it to my nose. Red, the color of love and passion, the color of the highlights in your hair when the sun hit it just right, the color of the spirit that made you who you were in life just as you will be forever. Without looking, I quickly dial the number I've kept memorized for just this occasion, knowing I would need it, but dreading it all at the same time. When it's finally picked up on the other end, there's no need for words. Quatre's hushed sobs that I can hear in the background are enough for me to know that your passing did not go unnoticed by everyone but me and I can't help but smile yet again. You had given so much of yourself, so much of your love, in your life to those who needed it, it was only fair that it be returned to you now.
"We'll be there soon, Heero." Trowa's voice, sounding soft and sad, comes across the line and I nod my head.
"Take your time." I return before disconnecting the call and replacing the phone on the base. Then, taking the rose, I walk back over to the window. With my free hand, I part the blinds so I can look out across the rainy, darkening landscape, allowing my mind to drift.
"Promise me, Heero." you beg, your hands gripping my own in as tight a grip as you can manage. "Promise me you won't give up, that you'll keep going no matter what happens."
"Duo--"
"No, I want your promise that you'll keep living, for me, until we can be together again for real."
"Duo." I breathe, my eyes filling with tears.
"Promise me." you desperately breathe and I can feel your grip releasing.
"I promise you, love." I tell you with as much conviction as I can manage around the breaking in my voice. "I promise, just as long as you promise to wait for me. Wherever you go, whatever comes next, you'll wait for me there."
"I promise, 'Ro, I'll be waiting at the doors with bells on."
And I know you will be. If it's one thing I've learned about you during our short time together, it's that, once you set your mind to it, nothing could turn you away. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of my life without you by my side, but I know I will, simply because I promised you I would. It won't be easy and I know I'll miss you everyday. But I do believe that someday, one day, on that day, we'll be together again. And when that day comes, nothing will take you away from me ever again.
OWARI
Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park
I close both locks below the window.
I close both blinds and turn away.
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple.
Sometimes goodbye's the only way.
And the sun will set for you,
And the sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in grey,
And the sun will set for you.
In cards and flowers on your window,
Your friends all plead for you to stay.
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple.
Sometimes goodbye's the only way.
And the sun will set for you,
And the sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you..
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you..
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you.
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