Going to Extremes Part 3
The Release
Waking up after only a few hours sleep, I quickly slipped into the jeans and t-shirt I'd laid out on the chair beside the bed the previous day. Then leaving my room, I walked quietly down the hall and peeked in Duo's to make sure he was still asleep before heading down to the kitchen to start breakfast. I was down there for nearly fifteen minutes and was just finishing the home fries and bacon before starting on the eggs when he walked into the kitchen, his arms wrapped protectively around his waist. I noticed that he's found the clothes I'd left for him the previous day also since they were different from the one's he'd worn on his date the night before.
"Good morning." I said softly as I continued to flip the eggs in the pan. "Do you want your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?"
For a few minutes, the only sound in the kitchen was the hiss of the grease and, as I kept my back turned to him, I wasn't sure of what he was doing during that time. Then, in a soft voice that was little more than a whisper, he said. "I want to go back to school."
Setting the skillet off to the side, I finally turned fully to look at him, immediately noting his averted eyes and defensive stance. Breathing a small, inaudible sigh, I turned back to the stove and began the process of scraping the food I'd prepared down the sink. Once I was finished I turned back and gave him a nod, "Alright, let's go."
At my words, his head immediately snapped up and he gave me a stunned look. I could tell just by that look that he'd expected me to try and keep him here but that wasn't the plan and while the next part would be hard for me, I knew that keeping him locked up would only make things worse. So, walking over to the door leading to the garage, I grabbed the car keys from the small set of pegs by the door before turning back to see if he was following.
For a moment, he just stood and stared at me but when I didn't make a move, he started forward, and turning back to the door, I walked out into the garage and climbed into the driver's side seat of the car. Not a moment later, he joined me in the passenger's side and I immediately started the car as I hit the button to raise the garage door.
The ride back to CSU was silent and a heavy tension filling the cramped space as he rested against the car door as far from me as he could possibly get and still be in the vehicle while he stared out the window. Although, a couple of times I caught him looking at me before he'd quickly turn away. Then when we arrived back at the campus and I once again parked my car in the lot for our dorms, he was out the door and headed across the lot in the opposite direction from our room before the car had stopped moving. Heaving another sigh at his actions that I'd fully anticipated, I shut the car off, got out, and locked it up tight before making the trip across the lot and to our cold and empty dorm room.
********************
It was nearly two months before I saw him again. He managed to retrieve some of his stuff during the times I was either in class or out with the guys and while I was upset that he kept avoiding me for so long, I was heartened when I realized he wasn't taking everything from the room. It was at the beginning of the second month that I learned he was staying with one of his first girlfriends, Hilde. At first, the fact caused a small amount of jealousy to sprout, but I also knew the two were more friends than anything else so I shoved it down and reminded myself that I really didn't deserve to have any expectations from him. After all, I was lucky he hadn't filed for a roommate change or worse.
Then, returning from my last class of the day, a little over two months following his kidnapping, I came back to the dorm to find him sitting on his bed. He looked up at me when I first entered but quickly looked away and I could almost hear my heart beat harder in my chest. Closing the door behind me, I made sure to turn the deadbolt so that we'd not be disturbed before walking over and setting my books down on my desk.
"Hey." he finally said, his voice washing over me in a way that made my knees tremble; it really had been a long two months.
"Hey." I said and turned to look at him. "I've missed you."
"I've been... staying with Hilde." he stated. "Needed some time to think."
"And did you?"
"Yeah."
The silence that fell after that seemed to press in from all sides and I felt that my eardrums were going to burst because of it. But I also felt that this was his turn, he obviously had some things to say to me and while I had quite a few of my own, his would have to come first.
"Heero." he said after several more minutes of quiet. "We need to talk, there are some things about me I've never told you and I think they'll explain a little."
"Ok." I said and leaned back against the desk to listen.
"Could you sit down please, it bothers me to have you standing over me."
Understanding the rationale for his request, I grunted a reply and moved to sit on my own bed, knowing I needed to keep some distance between us.
"Thanks." He said once I was sitting down. "When I start, I don't want you to interrupt, for anything. It's not going to be easy telling you this stuff and if you stop me, I might not finish."
"Fair enough." I nodded and gave him an expectant look, waiting for him to speak.
"Like I said, I've been staying with Hil and we've been... talking. I didn't tell her about what you did because I don't want you getting in trouble for it. You know that, even though I agreed, in some circles what you did is still considered rape." he said and I nodded my head in agreement, knowing for a fact that my actions could be deemed that way. "But I know you didn't want it to be that way and I also know that if I'd told you to stop, you would've."
Once again, I nodded at his words but didn't interrupt, for which he gave me a small smile. "I know I've never talked much about my childhood, and there's a reason for that. You see, I was raised in a very strict family and, as the only child, I was always expected to carry on the family name. When I started high school though, I began to notice that while I was interested in girls and all that, I preferred hanging out with my friends more, who happened to be all boys.
You can probably figure out that I was pretty upset when I realized I was seriously attracted to one of them. For a long time, I hid it, until the day he admitted to his attraction for me. And while most people would think, Ahh first love how sweet, it wasn't, actually it was horrible. Our parents found out about it not long after we confessed to each other and while his were shocked, they seemed to accept it. Mine on the other hand were furious.
At first, they simply kept me from seeing any of my friends. Then they started making me go see doctors, both medical and psychiatric. They even went so far as to pull me out of the school system and my mom taught me in the living room of our home. I wasn't allowed to have any friends that were boys and only a few that were girls and I had to listen to my father lecture me almost every day about how disgusting and immoral homosexuality was.
After a year of living like that, they decided to try putting me back in school, at least to finish my senior year. They didn't have to worry though, by then I'd already molded myself into the perfect little heterosexual they wanted me to be because I just couldn't stand the thought of the twin looks of disgust they had given me when they'd first found out. So, I went back to school and I got a girlfriend, actually several girlfriends. I didn't get along well with the guys at the new school and that was all well for me and my parents.
When I decided to come here for college, my parents were all for it. It's not that far away and the dean's an old friend of my father's so he figured it'd be safe. The day I received my letter though and it said there were no more rooms in the dorms so I'd have to find alternate housing, I started reconsidering. Mom and dad though wouldn't hear of it and they were helping me get an apartment near by when the college called and said they'd just had a vacancy open up if I still wanted the room.
So, I packed up and said goodbye to them before making the short drive here. You can imagine my surprise and a bit of unease then I met you and learned you were openly gay with a boyfriend no less. At first, I considered it my ultimate test; if I could prove that it didn't effect me than I was 'cured' just like my parents wanted me to be. But I wasn't and while I kept denying it like I taught myself to do back in high school, I just couldn't get it out of my head. I was actually thinking of requesting a room change, or at the very least looking for an apartment, just before you kidnapped me."
"Duo I--"
"Don't interrupt, Heero, please." He said, holding up his hand to stop my apology, the look on his face was pure misery and I wanted so much to go over and hold him but I remained where I was, determined to listen to the rest of his story. "What you did; confused and frightened me. Actually, I think my reaction to what you did was the real source of my confusion and fear. Then, when you brought me back without a fight, it made it all the worse. I was so sure you'd want to sit down and talk it out, to get me to admit to the whole thing. Letting me walk away that day probably scared me more than anything else, but it was also the one thing that kept me from bashing your head in."
At that, I couldn't suppress the small laugh, knowing he was trying at least to lighten the mood a little. But the small smile soon slipped from his lips as he looked down at his hands. "I ran to Hilde and she immediately let me in. I was crying by that time and she sat and held me for a few hours I think until I calmed down. When I told her I need a place to stay, she didn't even ask me why but went and got some stuff for the couch and told me I could stay for as long as I needed.
Over the past two months, we've talked about a lot of thing. Turns out, she already knew about the fact that I was hiding my preferences; said she realized it after we'd gone out a few times and while she didn't hold it against me, she was rather upset that I was fighting it so hard. Seems that my motto of running and hiding but never lying was being serious tarnished by it. Anyways, with all the talking we've been doing, I came to realize that I was tired to hiding and had been for a long time. So, last night, I called my parents and told them. They of course cursed and screamed at me but I didn't let them change my mind and that's why I'm here." He finished and looked me in the eye, the fear and pleading I saw in those violet depths had me across the room and my arms around him before I could stop myself. "I'm not sure if I'm ready for a... physical relationship, even after what happened between us. But I'd like to try being with you as more than friends, if you're still up for it?"
"Oh god yes." I breathed as I buried my face in his hair. "Anything, all I ask is for a chance."
"Then you have it." He said while nuzzling into my chest as he brought his arms up around my waist. "I'll have to find a place to stay and a job though; I seriously doubt my parents'll keep funding college now that I've come out."
"Don't worry about it, I've already decided to keep the house, and even though it's a half hour drive, I think it'll be a good place for us to live. And I'm pretty sure I can get you on at the bookstore, at least for a start."
"What about the rent? I seriously doubt if even two jobs at the bookstore will continue to cover it."
"We'll think of something."
"What about Quat and Tro?" he said, sitting back to look me in the eye. "And Fei and Zechs, maybe we can get them to move in too, share the rent."
"That just might work; it has three bedrooms so there'd be plenty of room." I said before smiling brightly at him. "Why don't we ask them."
"Sounds good to me." He smiled back and leaned forward to brush our lips together in a chaste kiss. "You'll wait for me though, right?"
"Forever." I breathed.
OWARI
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