Author: Gypsie1201
Pairings: 1x2
Rating: R
Warnings: Angst, POV, Post-EW, Sap
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters nor will I make any money from the creation of this story.
Feedback: All is welcome and much appreciated.
Beta work by darkmisstical.
Summary: When we're at our darkest, it only takes a little light to lead us home.
Author's Note: Written for Moment of Rapture's "The Seven Deadly Sins" contest.
In the Light
Three days. Three long and hellish days. That's how long those bastards had him and if they think they can keep me from making them pay for that, they're sadly mistaken.
A simple mission Commander Une had said; no need for the both of us to go in and since his infiltration skills would be the most useful, he was the obvious choice. In both her eyes and mine. But none of us could've expected the level of organization and preparedness a small bunch of petty drug and small arms dealers could have. It didn't help that they had managed to place their own mole at headquarters and knew he was on the way even before we did. He walked right into the trap they'd laid for him and none of us even realized it until he didn't make his scheduled check-in nearly ten hours later.
After that, all hell broke loose. Une, at my insistence, immediately launched a rescue mission. But when we got there, all we found was an empty warehouse in the middle of a sweltering swamp. Not even a scrap of evidence was left behind indicating where they might have gone or even when they might have left. In fact, the place looked like it hadn't been used in years, which made me wonder just where our intelligence had come from. It was following that hunch that led me to their mole, but by then, he was long gone as well, and along with him, my last chance of finding the one thing in this world that I simply couldn't live without.
Or, at least, that's what I thought. For the next two days, I spent just about every waking hour at headquarters, going over and over and over the evidence we had, trying to find something, anything, that would give me a clue as to where they might have gone. But every time I thought I'd found a viable lead, it would turn into just another wild goose chase until I felt like I was chasing my tail most of the time. Then I got the call. He'd been found, or more specifically, dumped on the sidewalk at the front of the building. They'd just thrown him out the door of a moving car and left him there, probably thinking he was already dead, but they don't know my Duo. He may be small for his twenty years of age, a fact that I use to tease him mercilessly, but he's strong and stubborn as the day is long. There was no way he was letting those animals beat him and when he woke up in the hospital only a day later, the doctors were more than a little impressed, and surprised, by it.
I wasn't though. I knew he'd pull through, and not just because of that mile wide stubborn streak. I knew he'd be all right because I wouldn't let him be anything else. I didn't care what it took, I was ready and prepared to do it to bring him back to me and he knew it too when he opened his beautiful, violet eyes and gave me the best smile he could with his face still swollen from where they had beat him.
"Heero." he'd breathed and I nearly felt myself crumble at that one word. But instead, I'd leaned down and carefully brushed my lips against his, making sure to not apply too much pressure to the broken skin there. When I'd drawn back, he'd already slipped back into sleep, the pain medications doing their job and making him rest so his body could heal. I only stuck around for a few more hours after that, watching over him as he slept, in case he woke up again. Then, silent at a mouse, I slipped from the hospital, with only one thought on my mind.
It's the sound of footsteps from just around the corner in front of me that brings me back to the present and the dim lit hallway I'm crouching in. Quickly, I turn and head for the closest door, knowing already that it's unlocked since I'd checked each one as I'd moved down the hall. The bag on my back, much lighter than it had been when the night started, bounces a bit in reaction, but I ignore it. I'd brought enough explosives to level a small city block with every intention of using each one of them.
After I knew he was going to be all right, I'd quickly returned my attention to finding the people who took him in the first place. And surprisingly, it hadn't been that difficult. They'd let themselves become overconfident when they thought we couldn't find them and made the one mistake I needed; they used one of their own vehicles to dump Duo with. One of the witnesses had managed to get the plate number and from there, I was able to trace it back to its owner. It was easy to follow the man until he led me right to their operation, which they just happened to set up in one of the old OZ military bases that had been decommissioned after the war. Just the thought of my beautiful Duo being held in the place had my blood boiling even more than it already was and before anyone could stop me, I'd grabbed the stuff I needed and was on my way.
Which, once again, brings me back to the present. Grabbing the doorknob, I twist it and push the door inwards as silently as I can before slipping inside and closing it just as soundlessly behind me. Then I crouch and wait. The remaining two explosives weigh heavily on my back and I can almost hear them calling to be placed quickly so they can spread their death and destruction along with the others. But they're not the only voice I hear in the back of my mind. I can still see the burning determination in Wufei's eyes when he warned me against taking the law into my own hands. That Duo wouldn't thank me for ruining my life, and his, for revenge. But Wufei doesn't know. He doesn't know what was done to him during those three days these bastards held him and if I have anything to say about it, no one ever will.
It's the faintest of sounds from behind me that cause my blood to run cold in my veins even as I freeze, my breathing and heart beat nearly stopping too. But not even my worse nightmares or my most feared possibilities could've prepared me for that soft voice calling through the dark.
"Mommy?"
Shock and nausea rip through my body and I jerk in reaction. Once again, the bag slams into my back, the sharp edges of the explosives digging into my ribs almost in accusation and the nausea returns. For one fleeting moment, I almost convince myself that the sound, that the voice, is just a figment of my imagination. That I'm conjuring a nightmare from my past, but in the next instant, I hear the sound of small, bare feet landing on the concrete floor before they begin treading softly across the room.
Spinning around so that I'm facing the sound, I somehow find myself sitting on the floor with my back pressed to the door, the bag sitting at my side. I watch in horror as a small flashlight is flicked on, exposing two small legs and the bottom on a knee-length white nightgown before it flips up and straight into my eyes. I don't blink though, not because it doesn't bother me, but because I can't take my eyes away from what I see before me.
She's no more than five years old and although I can't make out the color of her hair with the light shining in my eyes, I can see the two pigtails it's been pulled back in.
"Who are you?" she asks softly and the slight quiver in her voice gives her fright away. I'm almost instantly reminded of a mission from a few months ago where Duo and I had broken up a kidnapping ring. When we found the children, they were so scared they wouldn't even trust us enough to follow us to safety. But then, my amazing lover bent down in front of the smallest one and smiled at him. That's all it'd taken for the boy to take Duo's hand and allow himself to be led from the room; the others following close behind. I'm not Duo though and dealing with children has never been a strong point for me especially little girls that remind me so much of her.
It's reaction once again that causes me to jerk, my hand clenching into the bag at my side and that's when the full realization of what was about to happen hit me. There were ten other explosives already set about the facility, all on timers set to go off in two hours since I didn't trust a manual detonation switch not to malfunction. And not just in structural areas either. I'd set most in the housing units with the express purpose of killing or maiming as many of them as I could in my desire to see them pay for what they did to Duo. And as the full implications of what I'd been prepared to do dawned on me, I could feel myself go cold. Never before, not even during the war, had I so thoroughly enjoyed the thought of killing another human being. And as I stare into the light, watching it begin to tremble in her small hands, I can't help but wonder if I'd finally become one of the monsters I'd spent the past two years trying to stop.
"Oh god, what have I done?" I breathe and practically jerk my hand away from the bag and its deadly inhabitants, feeling as though I'd been burnt. My actions though send the little girl back a few steps, but no further and even as my frantic thoughts try to work a way out of the mess I'd created, I can't help but admire her courage. "It's alright." I croak out and the sound of my own voice makes me cringe. The desperation and anguish I can hear is enough to make me sick and I can tell by the increased shaking of her light that she's noticed it too. "I won't hurt you."
"Who are you?" she asks again and this time, she takes one tentative step forward, her small feet making almost no sound on the concrete floor. "Are you a friend of Mommy's?"
"I'm..." I have to stop and think. What do I tell her? What can I tell her? In my anger, I'd come to this place with the express purpose of destroying everything and everyone with no thought to who they were just that they had tried to take my Duo from me. "I'm not sure who I am." I hear myself whisper and the truth of those words hit me harder than I would've thought. I don't even realize I've started to cry until I feel her small fingers brushing at the salty trails streaming down my face.
"It's ok." she tells me as she crouches down in front of me. "You don't have to cry."
Her words though only bring more tears to my eyes and in my shame, I bring my hands up to cover my face, hiding myself from her. But she doesn't let me. With the innocence of a child, she reaches forward once again and pulls at my hands, prying them away from me face.
"Do you have a boo-boo? I always cry when I get hurt."
"No." I say even as my mind flashes back to the last vision I have of my precious lover as he lay sleeping on the hospital bed. "But someone I care about does."
"Oh." she says with a nod of her small head. I notice that, before she knelt down, she took a moment to put the flashlight down on its end with the light pointing up, surrounding us. "My baby brother fell down yesterday and scraped his knee. When he was crying, I wanted to cry too because I knew it musta hurt really bad. Is that why you're crying?"
"Part of the reason."
"Oh. What's the other part?" she asks and another piece inside of me cracks. I can feel it, right in the middle of my chest. I let my head fall backward until it's resting on the doorframe as I stare up at the circle of light on the ceiling. For a long moment, only the sound of our breathing can be heard in the room; hers soft and low, mine harsh and scratchy.
"I've done something... really bad." I finally admit aloud to her, and myself as well. "And I... I don't know how to fix it."
"Why'dya do something bad for?" she asks and it's only when she squeezes my fingers that I realize she's still holding onto my hands. Bringing my head back down, I allow myself to look into her little eyes, which, even in the dimness of the light, I can see are green to match the red of her hair.
"I was... so angry because my... friend was hurt and I wanted to get back at the one's who hurt him."
"Like how my daddy wants to get back at the people who hurt him?" she says with another nod of her small head. "Mommy says it's wrong to want to hurt other people just because they hurt you. She says it's not our place to punish them. I don't understand what that means since she's always punishing me when I do something bad, but it always makes daddy really mad when she says it."
"Your mommy's right." I tell her as I give her small hands a squeeze in return. "Your mommy is absolutely right."
"You could try saying you're sorry to the one you hurt." she tells me as a hopefully expression crosses her face. "That's what mommy made me do after Mickie broke my favorite toy and I hit him. Then she sent me to bed without dessert." she says with a small pout and I can't help but smile a little at it, bringing a smile to her own face. "Wouldn't that help you feel better?"
"I'm not sure if I can do that." I tell her. "But I just might be able to fix what I did so that no one gets hurt."
"Oh, oh, oh, that's what Mickie's mommy made him do for breaking my toy. He had to put it back together for me. It still doesn't work quite right, though."
"But he tried, right?"
"Yeah, that's what mommy said, too." she gives me another pout and I can't stop the soft laugh from escaping me. Reaching forward, I use the fingers of my right hands to ruffle her bangs before pushing myself to my feet, picking the flashlight up off the floor as I go. Then holding out my hand, I only have to wait a moment before she takes it. "Time for you to go back to bed. I wouldn't want your mommy finding you awake at this hour."
"Oh, no." she says with a firm shake of her head before pulling me across the room toward her small bed. "Mommy doesn't let me stay up late at all."
"Well, then, we'd better get you back in then."
Once we reach the bed, she releases the hold she has on me before scrambling onto the bed and slipping under the covers. Holding out the flashlight, I wait until she takes it before pulling the covers up and tucking them securely around her. But before I can turn to leave the room, she grasps the sleeve of my jacket and the flashlight beam is once again shining directly into my eyes.
"Here." she says as she pushing the light even closer to me. "You might need this."
"But don't you need it?"
"I think you need it more."
Taking the small flashlight from her hands, I turn the light until it's shining on the floor. I can tell from the way she's looking at me and from the fact that she hasn't released my sleeve that she still has something to say, so I wait. Fortunately, since, now that I know what I must do, I can almost feel the ticking of the clock, I don't have to wait long.
"What's your name?"
"Heero." I tell her without even the barest desire to lie. Any other time, I would've been kicking myself for such a slip, but this is different. "What's yours?"
"Anna." she says just as a yawn stretches her jaws and her eyelids begin to droop. "Will you come see me again?"
"Maybe." I tell her as I reposition the covers and in the next instant, her breathing evens out as sleep finally claims her once again. "Maybe one day." I breathe softly before flipping the flashlight off and slipping it into my pocket. I have a lot of work ahead of me for the next hour and a half. Finding and disarming each of the ten explosives I'd already set was no small task. Doing it without getting caught though would be the real challenge. Then, I'll find a place not far from the base and call headquarters. I'll call Wufei and tell him where they are. I'll tell him about the children and make sure they know not to come in guns blazing. Then, once I know it's all right, I'll go home. Home to Duo and maybe, just maybe, when he wakes up I'll tell him about the little flashlight I've kept safe in my pocket.
OWARI
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