An Orphanage Series Book 4: The Meaning of Love
"Lady, I must protest this assignment wholeheartedly," Zechs stated, "I don't want anything to do with it!"
Lady Une fixed him with a stare. "Your objections have been noted, Preventer Wind. I need to know when you can be ready to leave."
He rolled his eyes as he stood, no longer capable of sitting still under that intense stare. "Why me? Why can't you send someone else? You know how Wufei will react to it, too..."
Une coolly replied, "You two are the best, and the best is needed. Besides, this will probably involve the airing of some family laundry. Would you want anyone else learning everything there is to know about your family and its doings? Taking it all to the press as soon as they can?"
Zechs hung his head- he knew that she'd use that argument. She was right, too. If anyone had to go through all of Relena's dealings and find out just what else she had done, he'd prefer that it be someone who would respect what she stood for and what his family had believed in. It had been a losing argument since the beginning.
Still, Wufei would be hard pressed to keep from killing Relena when he saw her, and Zechs honestly couldn't say that he felt differently... Even if she was his sister. He sighed in defeat. "You had this already scripted out before you even issued the orders, didn't you?"
Une gave a sardonic little smile. "Chang should be here in... five, four, three, two..."
There was a knock at the door, and Une's secretary stuck her head in. "Ma'am? I know you said that you weren't to be disturbed, but Preventer Chang is here and he won't accept a no..."
"Of course not, onna! Now let me through, or..." they heard Wufei snarling angrily at the other side of the door.
Une yanked it open wide and met Wufei's angry glare with a calm look. "Come in, Chang. I was expecting you." She closed the door behind them.
Wufei rounded on her. "Do you want Relena dead? Is that what this is? I can't believe that you'd even consider sending us!"
Une sat down, trying not to smile. "Next, you are going to tell me that 'Justice Must Be Served' and you'll be happy to do it, even though it should be left to Duo and Heero, and then you're going to say that I am a crazy onna and you don't know why you ever decided to work for me. Have I got that right?"
Wufei's jaw flapped, but no sound came out. He simply sat down and glared at the Lady.
She shook her head, half in amusement and half in frustration. "I've already explained it to Wind, Chang. Sending anyone else, we risk finding the true story about Relena on the front page of every newspaper within a few days of the investigation, not to mention little details about you pilots and the Peacecraft family that, no doubt, you'd understand the necessity of keeping away from public knowledge. I know that you don't like this- I don't like it either- but this is how it must be. Any questions?"
"If she says a word about Duo, I'll kill her..." Wufei began.
Une cut off any further comments with a sharp wave of her hand. "I don't think Zechs would approve, Chang, so try to keep the violence to a minimum."
Wufei rounded on his lover. "You won't take her side! I know you won't."
Zechs looked up into the deep, dark eyes of the man he loved. "I can't let you kill her, either, Wufei. She's my sister."
Une winced- there were going to be harsh words between these two before this was over. She just hoped that they would be able to get past it. "You have twenty-four hours to prepare for your assignment, gentlemen. Good luck." She showed them to the door.
~*~
The two Preventers walked in silence to the Ready Room that had been prepared for their use. Zechs kept a close watch on the Chinese boy at his side- the telltale signs were all there that he was in for quite a rant and lecture, as soon as the door was securely closed. He was not disappointed.
"I can't believe that you'd defend her, Zechs! She nearly killed Maxwell, and she did cause the death of that little girl, all because she was jealous! She doesn't deserve your protection! She deserves to go right to hell..."
Zechs cut him off in mid sentence. "She does, I know." The words were soft-spoken, but they cut through the air as easily as a beam cannon shot. "I never even wanted to think about her again- you know that," he continued sadly, "and certainly not to call her sister!"
Wufei was calmed by the conflict and pain that was evident in his companion. He sat down gracefully. Without a word, he picked up a remote and pressed [Play].
If it had been hard to watch the first time, it was equally as hard now- they watched the office sequence over again, both wincing as they once again saw Duo going down, saw the famed pacifist Relena Peacecraft kicking his wound over and over and gloating over the fallen boy in front of her, saw the agony that was plainly evident on the braided boy's face...
He hit [Stop]. Wufei didn't say a word as he turned to his lover and met his look.
Zechs had tears in his eyes as the tape ended, and he felt like worse than a traitor as Wufei turned to face him again. "Please understand it, Fei. I have to be the one who does this, and it doesn't mean I want to help her. But... she's all the family I have left."
Wufei felt his own tears rising and angrily help them back. "What about us, Zechs? Myself, Quatre, Trowa... Don't we count?"
"That's unfair, Fei," Zechs ground out, standing abruptly. He stormed towards the door. "We have a mission, okay? I don't like it, you don't like it, and you're determined to make me feel like shit about it! Well... fuck you, too." He slammed the door behind him.
Wufei sank back into his seat and clenched his fists in anger.
~*~
"Mr. Milliardo! Miss Relena was very happy to hear that you'd be paying her a visit..."
Zechs cut off the falsely cheerful assistant with a look. "I'm here on official Preventer business, young lady. Where is Miss Relena now?"
The girl took one look at Wufei's face and just pointed through a set of double doors. Both men gave her perfunctory bows and headed in.
Relena's face was bright as she saw her brother's tall physique. "Milliardo! I knew that you of all people wouldn't desert me... Oh, you," she added in a sour tone as Wufei followed him in, glowering at her hatefully.
Zechs gave her a sketch of a bow. "Miss Relena, we are here on official Preventer business and we require your full compliance."
She turned back to her brother with a hurt look. "What is this, brother? You'd actually take the side of that worthless slut my Heero married..."
"Oh, that's it! You are so dead, bitch..." Wufei stepped forward with murder in his eyes and Relena shrieked as she sank back against the sofa's arm and Zechs stepped smoothly between the two.
Zechs' head came around, blond hair flying wildly as he glared venomously at his sister. "Hold your tongue! We are not here to put up with your slanders, and I might not be able to restrain him next time!"
Wufei struggled madly in the taller man's grasp. "Let me go, damn you! I knew it- you don't give a damn about me or the others and this proves it!"
Zechs shook the Chinese Preventer until his eyes wheeled to meet the intense blue stare directed at him. "She's my sister, Fei! Think for a moment!"
Relena gave a small laugh. "Milliardo loves me, though, don't you, brother?"
He shot her a glare that Heero would have been proud of. "I would help him kill you slowly if you weren't who you are! I'm ashamed to call you 'sister'!"
Relena's eyes pooled with tears. "All of you! I hate you! I wish I could have killed you all- sick, perverted bastards who stole my Heero away!"
A man ran into the room as she began to wail, a high-pitched, continuous scream that sent shivers down both ex-pilots' backs. They watched in sick fascination as he restrained her and another quickly swabbed a spot on her arm and gave her an injection.
Relena crumbled into the arms of then men the Preventers took for her doctors, sobbing quietly as the shot took effect and she slowly slid into senselessness. Zechs approached them and lifted her in his arms, depositing her on the sofa easily before backing away to give the doctors room to work.
They looked up at the two Preventers. "She gets fits like this- it's all we can do to sedate her and hope she will calm down naturally."
Even Wufei looked horrified and shocked. "How long has she been like this?"
The man who gave her the shot stood and wiped his hands on his trousers before shaking hands with the two. "I'm her primary physician, Doctor Kenneth Jones. Can we adjourn to another room to discuss this?" He led them out.
Jones waited for them to be seated before he began to speak, "Miss Relena has been suffering from episodes like what you saw and extreme delusions since the end of the Eve War, when Heero left her for the first time, or so she says."
Wufei grumbled, but kept silent as Zechs asked, "Why didn't you at least inform the Preventers of this? You know what we are here for now."
The doctor shook his head. "In cases like this, sir, it is illegal for us to inform anyone but the patient's next of kin, who was listed as Miss Dorothy Catalonia. We regret it now, of course- she managed to hide a great deal from all of us."
Zechs hung his head. "I should have been there- I should have been her next of kin, and I could have prevented it..."
The doctor stopped him with a shake of his head. "With all due respect, sir, Miss Dorothy was at her side almost constantly, monitoring her, calming her, sleeping at her side when she couldn't bear to be alone... I can think of no other creature that could have provided better care or assistance. Your sis..." He stopped short at the look on the Chinese man's face. "Miss Relena has been craftier than any of us could have imagined."
Wufei finally spoke up, "Miss Dorothy informed us that Relena had pulled off many smaller stunts before trying to murder our friend..."
Doctor Jones felt a jolt of cold fear as he realised exactly who this Chinese man was, given what he had just said. "Yes, sir. She'd managed to give us all the slip many times- one time, she almost made it off the estate before Miss Dorothy found her and brought her back to us. As far as criminal actions... I don't know. I doubt anyone really does."
Wufei snorted. "She does."
"I don't think so, sir." Both Preventers gave the doctor a piercing stare, and he gulped before continuing, "In my opinion, Relena Peacecraft no longer knows what she is doing most of the time. In fact, the one thing she ever seems to remember is the attack on Mr. Maxwell and how it was supposed to get her Heero back to her. Nothing else seems to compute."
Zechs' hands were shaking. "Doesn't she ever talk about anyone else- a friend? Our father?" he prompted.
The doctor cocked an eyebrow. "As a matter of fact- yes. She talks about Miss Dorothy in her sleep, calling for her."
Wufei felt a jolt of guilt as he saw how this was all affecting his lover, and he stood quickly. "Thank you for your time, Doctor. We will probably need to see you again."
The man smiled at him in a professional manner. "Of course, sir. I'll just show myself out." He stood and left as quietly as possible.
Wufei turned to his now trembling lover. "Zechs, I..."
"Don't. Say. Anything," Zechs murmured. "Just hold me... please?"
The note of desperation in the normally over-confident and in-control blond's voice sent a wave of panic through Wufei, and he rushed to Zechs' side and gathered him close, aghast as he felt tremors of unshed tears in the taller man. "I'm sorry, Zechs, I'm so sorry..."
The blond gradually recovered his control and pulled back from his Chinese lover. Slightly hesitant blue eyes caught and held Wufei's gaze. "Do you understand now? Why I had to be here?"
Wufei nodded, but his hands tightened on Zechs' arms as the blond attempted to turn away. "Just one thing, and I know you're thinking it right now. This was not your fault."
Zechs felt a sudden rush of anger. "Jesus, Fei! I might have seen it- I might have been able to get Relena back, and not have a psycho bitch for a sister..."
"Don't you think Dorothy tried that? Face it, Zechs- you didn't know her!" Wufei yelled.
Zechs recoiled form the other man. "Don't you dare try to assume that you know everything about me, Chang Wufei! You can't possibly imagine..."
Wufei drew closer, heedless of Zechs' anger. "What was her favorite subject at school, Zechs? Do you know? It was biology. What was her favorite thing on a takeout menu? Chicken Lo Mein. Who was her favorite composer? Would you believe it was Tchaikovsky?"
Zechs stared at his lover intensely. "And how do you know all this?"
Wufei sat down again, his arm wrapped around his lover's shoulders. "Dorothy told me- we talked about Relena quite a bit back before the wedding. Dorothy knew her better than anyone, and even she couldn't get through, couldn't figure it out."
Zechs finally let his tears fall. It was true- his baby sister had been a total stranger, so much so that no one would have even contemplated calling him to deal with her insanity. It really hurt to admit it, even to himself.
Wufei held the quaking blond close and let his own tears fall as he rocked the former Lightning Count.
~*~
He was ready to take a short break.
The two Preventers had spent all morning and most of the afternoon going through Relena's files, and the Chinese boy's tempter had gradually faded as he read. The number of things... The girl had created several false identities and bank accounts for herself and, it seemed, for Heero, assumably to be used after she got rid of Duo and the two were free to run off together. Even worse, she had prepared... contingency plans. In case Warlock fell through.
It had been terribly difficult reading for the two- Relena had done her homework well. She had gotten her hands on all of Duo's file, somehow, including the parts that no one had known about until after the attack on L2. She had known everything about him, just as she had thoroughly researched Heero.
The stockpile of arms- it was no wonder it had taken them so long to track it! She had gone through so many cut outs and drops that her personal records of it were almost impossible to follow.
Crazy, yes, but it seemed that her madness had bordered on criminally brilliant.
Standing, he walked over to where Zechs was slumped in a chair, a cold cup of tea at his elbow as he poured over yet another document. He sank down next to the chair. "How are you doing, koi?"
The blond finally looked up. You could read his personal guilt on his face. "Can you believe all of this?"
Wufei sighed, resting his chin on the armrest of the chair as he looked up into Zechs' face. "Not really- it's too crazy. How could they have possibly missed this much?"
Zechs flinched. "These are her medical reports. They classified her as severely delusional, with acute OCD and a fixation on Heero. She somehow hid her other fixation- on murdering Duo. They also missed her violent tendencies. My question is how?"
"I don't know, Zechs, I just don't know." Wufei let his head drop so his lover wouldn't see the flash of anger and frustration there. The evidence in front of him would have proved to even the most biased of courts that Relena was not in control when she attacked Duo, or even when she put such meticulous planning into the crime.
All the same, the only thing he could think of was the sight of his friend, bleeding on the rug in his office, and Heero at his side, so scared that he was crying...
He whispered, "I wish she had been sane when she did it so I could kill her."
Zechs stiffened. He knew what Wufei was thinking- he was having the same thoughts, but coupled with a sense of personal failure. This woman had been his sister, and now...
Now she was a nightmare.
There was a knock at the door, and both Preventers looked up as Pargan walked in and gave them a small bow. "Doctor Jones to see you, as requested, Master Milliardo."
Zechs gave the old man a small smile. "Thanks, Pargan. You may send him in."
Jones was nervous as he entered the sitting room-turned base of operations. He gave the two Preventers a shaky nod as he sat. "Shall we begin?"
Wufei fixed the man with a look. "Okay, my first question- how did you miss her obsession with Duo Maxwell and her violent tendencies?"
Jones tried to meet the Chinese Preventer's stare bravely. "Hindsight is perfect, Agent Chang. Despite her... infirmity, Miss Relena was incredibly clever, and she knew how restricted she'd be if we found out about that. We should have, I realise that."
Zechs asked, "How were you controlling the subject for her public appearances?"
Jones turned to stare at the blond. "Pills- she didn't like taking them, but Miss Catalonia got her to take them, somehow."
A platinum eyebrow was raised in inquiry. "Why didn't you give the subject her medication more often, then?"
The doctor felt a surge of anger. "She is your sister, sir, if I could remind you of that, not just a subject, and the sort of drugs necessary would eventually kill her, if we just kept pumping them into her! What the hell kind of brother are you!?"
Zechs' eyes flashed, though he never raised his voice. "She's the sister responsible for nearly murdering one of my best friends, and planning to do far worse! Did you know that the gang involved was sent enough explosives and guns to kill every child in that orphanage? Did you?"
Jones blanched. "Sir, I did not mean..."
Wufei interrupted angrily, "You sit here and tell us that you should have known in a cool enough voice! Because of your incompetence, one child died and our friend nearly joined her! How dare you..."
Zechs put a hand over Wufei's arm and squeezed tightly in warning. "Wufei..." As the Chinese boy calmed down, Zechs turned back to the doctor. "What can be done for her now?"
The man was visibly shaken- he thought he knew who this Chinese Preventer had to be, given that he was a friend of Heero Yuy... "Miss Relena will need to be under constant surveillance and should have counseling, but I doubt that we'll be able to bring her back from it. I'm sorry, but this is my professional opinion."
Zechs rocked back in his seat. "Heero and Duo?"
Jones shook his head. "Hard to say, but I don't think she's be able to be in the same room with Mr. Maxwell and not try to kill him again. It's one of the few things that are clear in her mind anymore."
Wufei snorted, but held his comments back for Zechs' sake. Instead, he asked, "What else does she focus on?"
Jones smiled. "Mostly on Miss Dorothy, sir. Miss Catalonia was her constant companion and... I feel strange saying this... I... believe that the two were lovers for a time."
Zechs tried to hold back his grimace. Relena must have been pining for Heero and whining for him... even in Dorothy's arms. And the other girl had stayed by her, nonetheless. Relena had been incredibly lucky to have someone like that.
Wufei recovered first. "How does she feel towards Dorothy now?"
The doctor's expression became wistful. "If you mean to ask if Relena would forgive her, I think the answer is yes. Heero... was an obsession. But Dorothy... there was something real there, and it might be helpful to Miss Relena to have that around, as a sort of anchor."
"Let's get one thing straight, Doctor," Wufei snarled back, "Miss Relena is a criminal..."
"But she is also your lover's sister, Mr. Chang," the doctor countered adroitly. "I understand your anger over what happened to Mr. Maxwell and I apologise for the part I played in it. But if you really cared about Agent Wind, you would be a little more supportive of him right now."
Wufei recoiled as if he had been hit.
Zechs rose to his feet in barely controlled rage. "How dare you..."
He stopped short- Wufei had reached up and taken hold of his arm in a gentle, but firm, grip. "No, Zechs. He's right. My behaviour has been... reprehensible. I'm sorry."
Zechs sank back into his seat, still growling as he glared at the doctor. "I have one last question, and then you'd best get out of my sight! In your professional opinion, how likely is it that she will survive this... mental sickness?"
The doctor's trembling ceased as he gave the platinum blond a piercing look. "If we medicate her, her mind will be gone in four years max. If not... hard to say, but she might try to take her own life, since she could not get Mr. Maxwell's."
Wufei blanched, but Zechs simply nodded. "Very well, doctor. Now get the hell out of here!"
The man shamelessly scurried for the door.
Wufei knelt by Zechs' side and wrapped his arms around the other pilot. "I've... I've been a real shit, haven't I?" He got a small, vague nod in reply.
He gulped. "I'm sorry. I should be able to control myself and take you into consideration. You love her..."
Zechs gave a dry sob. "But I hate her, too. On one hand, I'd love to see her die, and the other part of me wants to keep her alive longer, so maybe she could be cured..." He buried his face in Wufei's jet black hair and sobbed again.
"Now you know how I felt, Mr. Milliardo," a quiet voice called from the doorway.
Both turned to see Dorothy Catalonia watching them intently from her place. Leaning against the wall. "Do I turn her in, or do I try to pretend that nothing is happening? Am I loyal, or do I make her hate me all over again?"
They watched her closely as she pushed off the wall and approached them- it was the same cool tone that both recognised from the War days, but her eyes were definitely different. "Mr. Barton once told me that there was nothing sadder than a woman who couldn't cry. He was wrong. How about the woman who learns to cry and to love, and has to give it away?"
"Dorothy..." Zechs began.
She cut him off. "She's lucky to be alive, if you can call that alive."
Wufei's voice was soft as he asked, "How did you get her to take the pills?"
She gave a small smile. "If she didn't swallow it, I would find it when I kissed her and she knew that I would get angry. I'd like to think that she loved me enough to want me to be happy."
Zechs gave the girl a searching look. "You never told any of us. You knew, and you said nothing..."
Her blazing eyes turned to the blond. "For heaven's sake, Milliardo! She asked me not to! She begged me not to let the world know... and I honoured that! Be reasonable!"
He gave a dry snort. "You of all people should know that 'reason' and my family don't go well together. You should have told us."
"What difference does it make now, can you tell me that? Maybe I should have- fine, I know I should- but I was scared! You have no idea how hard it was to watch her slipping further into it every day, crying out for him when she touched me, hiding things from me, but needing me there, nonetheless! You can't understand- none of you can!"
Wufei took a step in the angry girl's direction. "Why did you come back here, Dorothy?"
She hung her head. "Why? Do you really need to ask? Because I have to... she will need me..."
Wufei carefully put a hand on the girl's quaking shoulder. "Because you still love her and you want to help her. Is that right?"
She just nodded, and the Chinese Preventer looked up pointedly into his lover's eyes.
Zechs approached the two, giving Wufei's hand a squeeze to reassure himself. "Dorothy, she still needs you, yes. And you need her. But staying here means going into exile. You have to understand that!"
She nodded and worked up the courage to look up into Zechs' face. "I know, and it would have bothered me once. But there's no war to fight- the world is pitifully boring."
Both Prevernters stifled smiles at her attempt at humour- they knew the old Dorothy, the one who lived for such things, was long gone. "Should I try to blow a hole in it again?" Zechs asked, with an evil glint in his eyes.
It worked- all three laughed and the tragic air of the room dissolved. Gaining control again, Dorothy smiled up at the former White Fang Commander. "Most people try, sir. You succeeded."
~*~
Relena smiled as she woke slowly- she had the impression of being held close against another body, feeling the heat rolling off of another person's skin. It was heavenly... and she recognised the scent, as well. "Dorothy... mmmm... doro... thee..."
The other girl kissed her forehead gently. "Yes, Relena. I'm here. It's me, Dorothy."
Relena's azure eyes opened, and she smiled. "You came back to me."
Dorothy smoothed some of Relena's hair back from her face. "I will never leave again. I promise." She kissed Relena's forehead before pulling her into a tight hug.
The former princess shook a little. "I... I really screwed up, didn't I?"
Dorothy pulled back. "Relena?"
The eyes that looked back at her were clearer, a sign that this was one of the other girl's rare moments of near lucidity. "I almost did it, and now they all hate me."
Dorothy Catalonia wiped at the tears on Relena's face. "They... do not like you, that much is true."
"I hate him, I really do, Dor," Relena sobbed. "I can still feel his blood on my hands, and it feels good..."
Dorothy drew back, tears shining in her eyes. "Do you really mean that? Did you truly want the responsibility of taking someone's life?"
Relena's wide eyes were filled with tears. "I've lost him."
"But you will never lose me," Dorothy replied, hiding her pain behind a slight smile. "And I know that you want me here."
Relena gave a small smile. "I love you, too, Dor. I really do..." She kissed the other girl lingeringly.
When they pulled apart, Relena wiped at her face and sat up completely, trying to straighten her clothes. "Is my brother still here?"
Dorothy nodded. "Mr. Chang, as well. Why?"
Relena's face broke into a shamed glower. "I need to talk to him."
~*~
The two Preventers looked up in surprise from the report they were editing as the girls walked in, hand in hand. Wufei's eyes narrowed. "Yes?"
Relena stepped forward. "I... Dor, please..."
The other girl stepped up to her side and put an arm around her waist to steady her. "Miss Relena's having a good moment, and she wanted to talk to you before it goes again."
The other girl nodded and licked her lips. "I... I did something unforgivable. I still hate him, but what I did was wrong."
Wufei's glare lightened minutely. "He understands, you know."
Relena hung her head. "That only makes it more monstrous. I will understand if you all hate me, and I will apologise, but I need to do it now, on vid. I... might not have another chance."
Zechs wordlessly set up the recording equipment as Dorothy stroked her fingertips along Relena's arm, stroking her, letting her know she was not alone. She stepped back, though, as Relena gave the signal to Zechs and the recording began.
"This is for Heero and D- duo..." she began, trembling slightly as she tried to find the words. "I did something dreadful, and I want to apologise. I know it doesn't make it right, but... I will always hate you, Duo. You were in my way, and you refused to leave... you beat me time and again... And Heero- you have deserted me for him. I suppose I should be happy for you, but I can't be. I will never understand why...
"Even so, I was wrong, and I accept that. I'm sorry." She signalled to her brother, and the recording ended.
Dorothy was there immediately as Relena screamed and twined her hands in her hair, tears pouring down her face. She had done it- she had given up and admitted defeat...
He was truly gone now.
Dorothy looked up at the two Preventers and gave them a pleading look. Zechs simply nodded.
They left the mansion ten minutes later.
~*~
Lady Une flinched as she read the looks on her agents' faces when they walked into her office. Wufei popped the recording into her vid player and hit [Play] with no introductions.
She was shaking as it went blank, and she turned a pale face to her visitors. Zechs looked barely better than she. "She was lucid and asked this favour."
The Preventers chief nodded. "And Dorothy is going to stay with her? I suppose that it's for the best."
Zechs grimaced at her choice of words.
Wufei read his lover's posture and quickly stood, dragging the other man up with him. "It's all in the report, Lady. We're going home." His tone brooked no argument, and Lady Une knew better than to cross an angry Gundam pilot. She simply nodded, and the two left as quickly as they could.
The tall man was silent on the ride home, staring out the car window with a blank face, and Wufei bit his lip. This was not going to be easy.
He sat Zechs down on their bed and took a seat across from him, staring intently into the blue eyes for a moment before speaking. "Please... Talk to me, Zechs."
The blond's stare didn't change. "She knew, Fei. She knew that she was going to get worse again, but she wanted... God- I hated her, Wufei! I actually hated my own sister! I still do, in a way..."
The Chinese boy wrapped his arms around his taller lover. "Hate and love- they are so close to one another, Zechs. So close in fact, that you might be mistaking one for the other."
Zechs looked up. "Don't speak in riddles, Dragon. Not now."
Wufei sighed- he hated having to come right out and say things like this! "When you love someone and that person disappoints you, you can feel as though you hate him, but you don't really. You just... had so much faith in the other person that it hurt you terribly when they broke the trust."
Zechs wore a heart-breaking look of vulnerability, and Wufei pulled him closer. "Still, I betrayed my family..."
"No! You did no such thing!" Wufei gave the form in his arms a small shake. "Understand this, Zechs Marquise- families don't always agree or get along! There were times during the War that we pilots thought we hated each other- I wanted to kill Trowa, on the Libra, when he decked Maxwell like that- but we never did. And that's the thing- if the love and kinship wasn't there, we wouldn't have held back. If you had truly turned your back on your family, you would have let me dishonour us both by killing her that first day."
Zechs buried his face in Wufei's chest. "You wouldn't have done it."
"You're right."
The blond pulled back and gave his lover a small smile. "Thanks, Fei. I love you."
"I love you, too." Wufei smiled and kissed the other man tenderly before pulling him back to lie down, and he stroked Zechs' back as his breathing softened and he fell asleep. He smiled again as he looked down onto his lover's sleeping face- he had his own guilt and anger to deal with, but he supposed that Zechs had been right. He couldn't truly have done it, either.
Forgiveness was a confusing thing, but hatred was even worse.
As he settled back and allowed sleep to claim him as well, Wufei snuggled closer to his lover and allowed himself to be wrapped in the protective embrace of strong arms. He was smiling.
OWARI
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