Author: Ashkara
Archive: At the Vault. Anywhere else, please ask first!!
Rating: PG-13 at the worst...
Pairings: None discernible. 1+2 perhaps...
Warnings: Fluffy, silly, Heero in a pissy mood and acting his age... He's definitely acting OOC, but even he's entitled to whine in some situations, right?
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to some insanely rich Japanese people, not me, much is the pity. No money made, so please don't sue, okay?
Author Notes: We've all had days like this, I think. Everyone has bad days... even the Perfect Soldier. Anyone who spots where Heero started channelling Mojo Jojo gets a cookie (and yes, I had to put it in. Jordy the tie-dyed muse-pony insisted on it!)
Series Note: Guest authors welcome to submit a GWOTT. Drop me a line if you're interested! Oh, and these will be in no particular order, nor are they related. Just a series of weird moments in the characters' lives. Enjoy!
Gundam Wing Out-Takes Theatre Part 2
Wrong Side of the Bed
Heero Yuy, even at his best moments, would not have been called "perky". No - he was neither popular nor polite. Didn't say a word to his classmates or teachers unless asked a question. He was the sort of boy people generally avoided, and that was on a good day.
He didn't particularly mind. After all, he would only be at this school for as long as it took to complete the mission, and then he'd never be back and never have to see these people ever again. Mixing with civilians had never been his forte, and it never would be. In fact, he was lucky his fellow pilots put up with him on their joint missions...
But this was not a joint mission. None of the others were within 500 square kilometres of him. The bloody school had no single rooms. His "roomie" was bouncier than Quatre after a pot of Turkish coffee, louder than Duo, and seemed to have no concept of the words "Common Courtesy."
It was not a good day.
It was 2PM. Heero stifled a groan as he glanced at the clock - one minute later than the last time he'd checked. Normally, he might has enjoyed his physics class, but the air was stiflingly close and over-heated, and the bright sun streaming in the window was doing nothing to abate his headache. He checked the clock again - 2:02.
The teacher was droning on - Heero had stopped listening a good fifteen minutes hence - the low tone inviting the blue-eyed pilot to finish the tortured, interrupted rest he'd attempted to get the night before...
"Mr. Yamoto!"
The fact that Heero didn't recognise his cover name immediately was not a good sign. Half the class was giggling by the time he looked up blearily into the teacher's angry face. "Sir?" The class laughed again, and Heero glowered.
"You must feel you are pretty smart, Mr. Yamoto, if you can afford to sleep through this lesson!" the irate teacher bellowed down at him, adding to Heero's already pounding headache.
"No, sir. I apologise."
The evil bastard grinned at him. "You will apologise by remaining behind to clean the classroom, young man. I suggest that in the future, you pay attention!" More students laughed.
It definitely wasn't a good day.
~*~
Having finally finished tidying the classroom to his teacher's satisfaction, Heero considered joining his fellow students at dinner. He quickly vetoed the idea, though; the mere thought of food when combined with his headache was enough to make him nauseous! And to add insult to injury, there had been no more bottled water in the vending machine, and the can of soda he's bought instead sprayed all over his uniform.
By now, Heero only wanted a few small things: (1) to try the day over; (2) to kill his roommate; (3) for the mission to be blessedly over. He crushed his soda can in his hands into a compact aluminium ball and threw it as hard as he could, hoping it would hit someone.
With his luck that day, he'd now be reprimanded for littering, or he'd hit the principal. Or both. Exhausted and annoyed, he trudged back to his room-
There was someone in his bed.
Heero saw red. Of all the things for his dumbass roommate to do, to let one of his worthless, moronic, stinking caveman friends crash (probably drunk, already!) in Heero's space... he lunged for the bed and its occupant.
Said person rolled neatly away and to his feet with a smile, and all Heero could do was stare. "D... Duo?!"
The long-haired pilot bowed with a flourish. "The one and only!" I was in the neighbourhood, so I thought I'd... whoa. Hey buddy, you alright? Heero!"
Heero didn't resist the strong arm that wrapped itself around his shoulders and steered him to sit comfortably on his bed. He'd lost his ability to fight - it was gone, along with the apoplectic rage he'd felt only moments before.
Three aspirin and a bottle of water later (and how come Duo could get water and he couldn't, he'd never know,) he was sitting cross-legged on his bed, hugging a pillow to his chest. Duo took a seat across from him. "You wanna tell me what's bothering you?"
Heero glared across the room at his roommate's unmade bed. "Everything."
"Could you be a little more precise, please."
Heero took a deep breath, beyond caring that he was well and truly whining. "I want to kill my roommate, my teachers are assholes, I'm tired of waiting to finish the mission, I'm stuck here alone... what the hell are you doing here, anyway?"
Heero could have almost sworn that Duo was ready to laugh at him, and it did nothing to improve his mood. The other pilot simply shrugged, though. "Let's get out of here and I'll explain, okay?"
Heero simply hugged the pillow tighter. "You are - you're laughing at me. Well, just go away!"
"On your feet, Yuy!" Duo carolled, yanking the pillow away with lightning speed that Heero just couldn't seem to match, even though the aspirin seemed to be working. "D'you really want to be here when your roomie comes back?"
Heero was on his feet almost immediately. The damn guy knew him too well! Still pouting, he quickly changed clothes, strapped on his gun, and followed his fellow pilot out to the street.
~*~
They were comfortably seated in a back corner of a restaurant. Heero was dying of curiosity - Duo refused to say a word about the mission out on the street, but... Even indoors, the long-haired pilot was still wearing his leather jacket, meaning he had to be pretty well armed underneath it.
Duo finally took a deep breath. "Truth is - I came in to spring you from prison. Timetable got moved up - we've got confirmation that the plant is not only producing Taurus upgrades, but they've got a bunch almost ready to go. We'll be going in without our suits to blow it up."
"Thank all the Gods!" Heero sighed. "I meant it - I'm ready to kill these idiots I've been forced to call classmates."
"Oh, come on, Heero!" Duo chided gently. "They can't possibly be that bad!"
"They are bad!" the Japanese pilot insisted. "They are evil! They... they're unnatural..."
He glared as he watched Duo lose the battle and finally start laughing. "Shut up, Maxwell."
"Heero... Listen, man - did it never occur to you they'd say the same thing about you if they knew who and what you are?"
"This is different," Heero insisted. "There is something seriously wrong with these people."
"Heero..."
"My roommate sings in the shower."
Duo chuckled. "So do I, as you well know."
Heero practically growled. "He woke me up this morning, singing 'Raindrops Falling on my Head'."
He watched in no small satisfaction as the braided boy swallowed that. "Well... I'm sure it could get much worse."
"He woke me up yesterday singing 'Sex Bomb' by Tom Jones," Heero insisted, eyes wide and haunted. "Do you know how horrifying it is to wake up to that?!"
Duo was speechless for a moment, so Heero continued. "The bastard doesn't need sleep - he's up all the time, talking on the phone, playing air guitar and jumping on his bed..."
"Heero!" Duo interrupted. "I'm sorry, man - I should have taken this one..."
"No! Even you could not have taken this insanity..."
"Oh-ho!" Duo cackled. "And only you can, is that right, Mr. Tougher-than-Gundanium Perfect Soldier..." He trailed off abruptly as their food arrived, but he started up as soon as the waitress walked away. "I'm not good enough, huh?"
"Don't be an idiot, Duo," Heero said gruffly, but somehow couldn't keep a small smile off his face.
Duo beamed at him like the Cheshire cat. "That's what I was looking for! Now dig in, my man! My treat."
~*~
Even Heero was able to laugh by the time they got back to campus that evening - he'd been telling Duo about his Day from Hell, and the braided teen's laughter was infectious. He felt his black mood finally dissipating, and he took a deep breath. He could handle this for one more day. After all, his day certainly couldn't get any worse.
That thought abandoned him, though, as he peered up the street. There was a car in front of the school gate. A very familiar pink car. And stepping out...
It was no longer just a bad day. His day now officially sucked.
He grabbed a startled Duo by the wrist and dragged him back around the corner, blind panic taking over. "Duo... I will do anything you want, just please don't make me go back there!"
Duo lifted an eyebrow expressively. "But I thought..." Pulling away with his signature lightning speed, Duo casually peered back around the corner as a voice drifted down to them: "He's here! Pargan, this is the right place! Do you think it's too late to go inside and say hello?"
Duo's smile was twisted and evil as he turned around. "Well, Mr. Tough-as-Nails! He sets his own bones, bends steel with his bare hands, deals with insane roommates, but he's scared of a girl?! That's... Whoo-boy! That's rich!" Duo began laughing again, this time so hard there were tears streaming down his cheeks.
All Heero could do was wait for his companion to recover.
The braided teen slowly regained his composure, breathing hard as he wiped at his face. "Sorry, Heero. I just couldn't help it. I really... Just when you thought life couldn't get any worse, right?"
Her voice drifted back down to them. "Pargan, he's not here! Why isn't he here for me? HEEEEEEEROOO!"
Both boys shuddered hard and, shooting each other wry looks, broke into matching grins. "You don't have anything in that dorm room that you're particularly attached to, Do you, Heero?" Duo asked.
Heero simply glared.
Duo shrugged it away and clapped his hands together. "Then what do you say we go do something manly, like blowing up the bad guys?"
Heero nodded, but stopped Duo with a hand on his shoulder as the other pilot turned. "Duo - not a word of this to the others, right?"
"Ah - that depends, Hee-man," Duo chortled, pulling his friend along behind him. "Just what did you mean by you'd do anything I want when you said that before..."
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Maxwell!"
Duo's laugh split the night again. "Ummm... my mind didn't go there, lover-boy. Yours did! Heero's a pervert! Heero's a pervert!"
"MAXWELL!"
OWARI
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