Coffee Shop Encounters CSE-11: Bitter Chicory
"A Jack Daniels, Roberto. Make that two."
The Cajun bartender looked up in surprise as a figure sat heavily on a barstool, green eyes glinting angrily under a fall of auburn hair. He shot a look across the café - Wufei and Heero were both staring in confusion - it was perhaps the first time since they'd all met that Trowa hadn't joined them at their table, or at least said hello. Roberto turned back to the angry young man at his counter. "It's a school night, boy. Dat's not a good idea..."
"I don't care if it's a good fucking idea, Roberto," the green-eyed youth growled, looking up at the other man.
The sheer menace of the young man's glare was enough to make Roberto back off. "Okay! Okay, jus' calm down, okay? Bordel de merde......" He backed away, muttering under his breath as he shot the other two a concerned look and jerked his chin in Trowa's direction. Wufei nodded immediately and stood, dragging Heero behind him.
Trowa knocked back a shot expertly, only barely wincing as the liquid trailed down his throat like a lava flow. He shot a depressed glare at the remaining full shot glass before turning his gaze in Roberto's direction. "Can you just leave me the bottle?"
Wufei and Heero, just close enough to hear the question, sped up and quickly took the two seats right next to their friend. "Trowa? Are you... where's Quatre?" Wufei asked.
"At his fucking office, where else?" came the bitter reply. "Go away, Chang. I need to get drunk in peace." Trowa downed another shot.
Heero lunged in and pulled the bottle away before Trowa could pour himself any more. "Trowa, why don't we just give him a call..."
"No! The little bastard can figure out why I'm so goddamn angry with him on his own, thanks! Give me back that bottle!" Trowa snarled, eyes glinting dangerously.
Worried, Heero passed the bottle to Roberto, instead. "This isn't like you, Trowa."
Wufei leaned in from the other side. "What the hell is going on?"
Trowa turned his poisonous glare on his Chinese friend. "What day is it today, Wufei? Do you remember? No? Well, you're not the only one. God dammit!" He slammed a fist on the countertop and stood, pivoting on his heel to stalk out the door without another word.
Heero shot Wufei a blank look. "It's September 20th. Any idea what he was talking about?" he asked, as he pulled some money from his wallet to cover the liquor and passed it to Roberto.
Wufei shook his head, following Heero back to their own table, where they quickly gathered their things. "The 20th... If it's supposed to be a special day, I don't get ... oh. Oh. Damn - no wonder he's upset!"
Heero looked up as he swung his bag onto his shoulder. "What?"
Wufei shook his head. "Their first year dating anniversary, Heero."
"Shit." Both young men headed out of the café to look for their friend.
~*~
Relena and Duo shared a look and a smile as the last child grinned and grabbed at his form, practically flying out of Duo's office. It was the official end of what they called "Mom and Dad Day" - the day when every child brought home their extracurricular activities permission forms for approval and signature. Normally, both a child's parents would have to sign; in this case, every child in the House lined up at the door to Duo's office, and Duo signed as the House Administrator, with Relena as the Case Worker. Or Dad and Mom, as it were.
Both of them leaned back with a sigh, and Relena groaned. "Only four playing soccer this year. I hope that will mean fewer trips to the hospital with broken bones."
"Joey's taking up boxing," Duo replied drolly. "What do you think?" Both of them groaned again, then giggled.
Duo was still laughing as the phone rang and he reached for it-
"Hello? Hi! I was just thinking about y- ... What?!" Relena watched bemusedly as a series of emotions played over Duo's features (the caller was obviously Heero,) but lost her smile as all the colour drained from her friend's face. "Jesus! He really... Aw, crap. Did you find him?"
Relena could hear Heero speaking loudly into the phone, she watched Duo intently as he listened, then nodded. "Okay - you guys keep looking while I collect Q... Relena's here with me - she'll watch them for twenty minutes, won't you, babe?" he asked her, waiting for a nod before he continued. "Bring him back here when you find him - we'll be waiting. See ya soon - I love you... heh, in your dreams, lover! Bye!"
Relena started talking before he even hung up the phone. "What's the matter? Is Heero okay? Is it my brother? Who's..."
"Slow down there, sweetheart," Duo said, rubbing at tired eyes. "Heero and your brother are fine. Quatre... forgot an anniversary, though, and apparently Trowa got severely pissed off about it and ran off, and Q's not been accepting any calls. I'm gonna go pick him up, myself, while Wu and Heero chase down Trowa and bring him here, in turn."
Relena looked sceptical. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, they might fight about it..."
Duo shrugged. "I know, but they need to be in a place that's neutral territory for the both of them, so that rules out Trowa's place, Quatre's place... even Roberto's, since it's so close to Q's office. If they get too noisy, we'll make them take it out doors." He made one last check for his wallet, then grabbed his car keys from the desk top. "Twenty minutes, max, is that okay?"
Relena nodded, sinking back down into Duo's chair. "You'd better get going now, before any of the kids catch you."
Duo flashed her a grin as he ducked out the door.
~*~
"I said no interruptions, Julia. I meant it," Quatre growled, not bothering to look up from his paperwork as he heard his office door opening.
"I just told Jules to go home. Now it's your turn," Duo replied evenly, crossing his arms over his chest.
Quatre looked up and scowled. "What is it with you people? Can't you see that I'm busy? I swear, if it's not..."
"Shut up, Winner," Duo growled, stalking forward with a gleam in his eyes. "Busy, huh? So busy you've been snapping at people all day, from what I've heard from Jules. Not to mention a certain tall, green-eyed guy who, from what I heard, decided to drink himself silly this evening."
"I don't want to talk about it, Duo. Please leave," he blatantly looked back down at the mass of paper on the desk before him. "I don't have time for you right now."
"Is that what you said to Trowa, as well?" Duo asked, stepping closer. "If I recall, you haven't had time for him in almost a week."
"It's none of your business, Duo," the blond growled, slamming his elbows on the desk top and dropping his forehead into cupped hands. "I said leave."
"Not without you, buddy," Duo said. Quatre looked up, confused. The last time he checked, Duo was in front of the desk, not behind it and in position to physically lift him out of his chair. "You've royally fucked up, but with any luck, we can help you make it up. Now come on..."
"I SAID LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, DUO!" Quatre shoved his friend hard, sending the braided young man stumbling backwards into the wall with a loud thunk. Quatre immediately gasped, hearing Duo's head snap back and knock into the wall. "Oh, God..."
Sprawled on the floor, Duo glared up at him. "Jesus Christ, Winner! What the hell is the matter with you? Are you always this unpleasant when someone's trying to save your ass?"
Quatre knelt next to his friend, but seemed hesitant to reach out to him. "Duo, I... I shouldn't have shoved you like that. I'm sorry. It was uncalled for."
"No shit," the other agreed, wincing as he touched the back of his head. "Please tell me you didn't shove Trowa, too."
"No, I just..." Quatre heaved a sigh. "I literally don't have the time, Duo, and he was so insistent, he wouldn't go away, or shut up about it..."
Duo groaned again and glared at the blond. "Think real hard, Q. Why would Trowa of all people get like that?"
"I don't care!" Quatre cried, backing away and glaring out his window. "If he can't understand that what I'm doing here is important, then maybe we don't belong together, after all."
Duo went pale. "Oh, God. That sounds like a quote, Quatre. Please tell me I'm wrong."
The blond sat down heavily at his desk. "No, you're right on the money, Duo."
The braided young man choked, then shook his head sadly. "One hell of a thing to say to someone on your one year anniversary, asshole."
"What?!"
~*~
They all listened in silence from outside the door of Duo's office.
Duo had argued for a while when Wufei and Relena wanted to listen to what was going on inside, but now he was squirming between Heero and Relena to press his ear to the door, much as he always discouraged the kids of the House to do. He silently hoped this drama ended before any of said children came downstairs looking for him.
Quatre had been completely silent on the way over to the House, his expression completely blank as he stared out the window. Duo couldn't help worrying that this was never a good sign with the blond; Quatre Winner was almost as naturally emotive and ebullient as Duo was, himself. It hadn't helped that it took Heero and Wufei almost three hours to round up their wayward friend and bring him over.
"This is so stupid."
Everyone turned as one to glare in Wufei's direction, and he had the grace to blush slightly. "Think about it - they're being damned quiet in there. They're eventually going to open this door, and..."
"We'd look pretty stupid, all standing here, eh?" Heero finished for him, getting a nod in reply.
Relena turned incredulous eyes on him. "Oh, come on! You can't possibly try and convince me you're not curious..."
A crash from inside the room brought everyone's head around, and they quickly back away from the closed door.
Just in time - Trowa came barrelling out, green eyes blazing with hurt and anger as he walked past them without a word. Duo caught Heero's eye for a moment before he took off after the taller teen.
The others were vaguely aware of hearing the front door close before they walked into the office. One chair was overturned in front of the desk. Quatre was seated in the other, white faced and wide-eyed with something that looked like shock. Wufei walked over and knelt at his friend's side while Relena quickly righted the other chair and perched in it, Heero at her shoulder. "Quatre? Are you okay?"
It took a moment before the blond acknowledged the question and turned anguished eyes to his friend. "Wufei. I think... I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life."
Heero and Relena exchanged looks of alarm, and the Japanese teen quickly moved to Quatre's other side. "What happened?"
Quatre choked on the words. "I told him I don't want to see him anymore."
~*~
Duo and Trowa were sitting on opposite ends of the latter's bed in his dorm room. Trowa had both knees pulled into his chest, arms wrapped around them as he stared miserably at his friend. "Do you think I was being too clingy?" he asked, managing to make the last word come out like the foulest of curses.
The long-haired young man was hard-put to breathe deeply and take a moment before answering; on one hand, he wanted to make things better, if he could, but on the other, he simply wanted to gut Quatre! "Trowa, I don't know why he would say that, I really don't. We all go through times when we're busy, but I can't think of a time when you were... unfair about it."
Bloodshot green eyes made Duo cringe as he was caught in their stare. "He didn't even... he didn't tell me why he was pushing me away! He never said anything - what am I supposed to do? I'm not a fucking mind reader! I'm just..."
"Trowa, please!" Duo said, scurrying across the bed to stop the taller teen from turning away as he spoke. "None of us know why he's doing this. It doesn't make any sense, and it isn't fair. But I can't even begin to try and help until you'll tell me what he said to you. All of it, this time."
Trowa cringed. Duo was too good at knowing when he was being deceived - it must have come from working with kids for so long. "He refused to tell me. He just... said it."
Duo blinked hard. "And you didn't ask him?"
Trowa grabbed a pillow and buried his face in it, his voice heavily muffled as he replied, "Of course I did! He just said... he said I wouldn't understand what it was like... that I couldn't understand him."
"Geez, just like me and Heero, all over again," Duo muttered, scowling. "Christ, I hope someone got that sonofabitch out of my office before I get home..."
"Duo!" Trowa looked up, aghast. "He was right, Duo! There are so many things about his life that I don't even come close to understanding. He's just..."
"Oh, no you don't!" Duo growled. "You will not rationalize all of this away! You're worth so much more than that, Trowa..."
"There's something very wrong, Duo, and you know it as well as I do," Trowa replied softly, looking over at a photograph of the five of them from last fall's hiking trip. "I just wish he'd have thought of letting me help with it. It's really hard to hate someone you think you love, ya know?"
Duo had no reply to that.
~*~
Roberto looked up as the door to the café opened, but quickly looked away, scowling as he recognized Quatre's shiny blond head. Wufei had come by that morning for his usual caramel latte before his morning lecture and told him the whole story. Like everyone else, he wanted very much so to grab the young businessman by the shoulders and shake him thoroughly.
It was noon, and Roberto couldn't help feeling slightly smug as he watched Quatre look around expectantly; normally, he and Trowa met for lunch on Thursdays. But there was no sign of the taller young man - Roberto saw the exact moment it hit the blond, and could no longer conceal a smirk. It served the little twerp right!
Quatre sighed heavily as he made his way over to the bar. "Hi, Roberto. I guess... can I just get a coffee to go, please?"
The Cajun decided to forego the normal banter, merely grunting his understanding and woodenly fixing the coffee. He set it on the counter in front of a quiet Quatre, and collected the fee without a word.
"Roberto, wait."
He stopped and turned around. "Yes?"
Now that he looked closer, the blond had huge circles around his dull eyes, his tie was crooked, and he seemed abnormally pale, even for him. Quatre licked his dry lips before asking softly, "Has Trowa been in yet today?"
Roberto scowled. "I don't know why I should tell you, boy."
"Please, Roberto!" Quatre pleaded, eyes sparking to life for a brief moment.
The bartender sighed heavily and looked away. For a minute, it had looked like the old Quatre again, not this... whatever the hell was wrong with him. "I haven seen him, but from what Wufei told me, s'not like he'll be here today. Duo stayed with him last night an' said he didn sleep a wink."
"Thank you." Quatre woodenly collected his coffee and almost fled to the door.
"Dat's one hell of a messed up boy," Roberto muttered as he turned to another customer.
~*~
Iria Winner's mouth was set in a grim line as she walked through the polished marble foyer of Winner Enterprises, headed for her brother's office and a long conversation. Quatre hadn't said a word to her the night before - he hadn't said anything to anyone, in fact. It wasn't until she was headed with Sally Po towards the hospital where both were working that she found out what her brother had done.
Now, a full rotation later, she had finally thought through exactly what she wanted to say to him. It had taken a single phone call to Jules to know he was once again hiding in his office; she'd had Sally drop her here. The worst that could happen, she mused, was that they would argue and she'd have to call Milliardo to come bail her out. There were far worse things she could think of than seeing that face after a tough day!
Jules looked up as Iria walked up, her eyes red with fatigue. "Good evening, Miss Iria. He's still in there."
"Thanks, Jules," Iria said, then sighed heavily. "Anything you can tell me before I go in there and slap him silly?"
Jules gave a nervous little laugh. "Oh, if it were my place to agree, I would - you should have seen that poor Trowa's face when he came here... only two days ago? It seems like forever." She shook her head. "He's making a huge mistake, ma'am. You only meet someone like that once in your life, and... I heard he's not talking to any of his other friends, either. He's cutting himself off, completely, and for no good reason, so far as I can tell."
"Thanks, Jules," Iria said, patting the older woman's hand and glancing over at the closed door. "Why don't you head on home. I can guarantee you that he's not going to be doing anything that would require your assistance for the rest of the evening."
"Thank you, Miss Iria, and good luck," she replied, and gave Iria a gentle, encouraging smile.
Steeling herself to what she was about to do, Iria walked straight up to her brother's door and walked in.
She eyed her brother disdainfully as he looked up with an air of surprised annoyance. "You know, for such a smart guy, you're a real moron."
Quatre rolled his eyes and pointedly looked back down at his work. "You don't know what you're talking about, so please don't."
She stalked forward and leaned over the large desk, hands on her hips. "That dismissive crap doesn't work on me, Little Brother, so don't bother. What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Look, if there is a problem, it is mine," Quatre fumed. "I don't need five million people telling me I'm a fuck up when they don't know anything about it - it's my life, and if you think you can do any better, by all means dear sister..."
"Oh, please!" the blonde woman sneered. "You're such a drama queen, Quatre! You're right. I don't know what's going on - no one knows anything right now, dumbass! That's part of the problem! D'you have any idea how lost we all feel because you refuse to talk to us? I mean a real talk, not that superficial bullshit you've been calling a conversation."
Quatre should have known enough to be scared; Iria rarely used profanity, only on those occasions when she really lost her temper. At such times, it was usually better to be at least one time zone away. He ignored all the warning signs, though, as his anger and frustration finally found a focus. "What? As if you all care! All the guys are back at school, you've got a job and a life. Geez - Heero and Duo are discussing wedding arrangements already! And Trowa..."
"Yeah, what about Trowa?" Iria asked, sensing blood and going in for the kill. "When has he ever not found time for you?! That boy is crazy about you; there's nothing he wouldn't do for you, and what did you do to him, you moron!"
"God Almighty, I KNOW!" Quatre shouted, pushing back from his desk and jumping to his feet with a wild look in his eyes. "You think I've been able to think of anything else since it happened? You think I don't know?! Trowa's bloody perfect! He's kind, generous, smart, witty, devoted, funny, sweet, God knows he's gorgeous..."
"So what's the problem, then?" Iria asked, dropping into a chair tiredly and glaring up at him.
Quatre glared right back. "That's just it! There is no problem. I mean, I know he's not perfect - no one is - but even with his faults, he's still the most wonderful person I've ever known. If this were a fairy tale and I was a princess, we'd be living in a nice castle, expecting kids by now!"
Iria wore a maddeningly superior look. "So that's what this is all about! My little brother - man enough to stand up the Congress and an entire legion of senior managers and investors, but afraid of commitment to the guy he's so obviously in love with! If it wasn't pathetic, it would be hilarious."
"Shut up, Iria."
She sighed and rubbed at tired eyes. "So why are you avoiding the others, then?"
Quatre grimaced and flinched. "It's just... Heero and Duo are so happy! They share all these little looks and touches - they could be on opposite ends of a crowded ballroom just looking at each other and still be having a better conversation than most of us have in a whole month..."
"And you want that for you and Trowa, too, don't you?" Iria prompted.
"Yes and no," he conceded. "I want to be with him, I really do, but... it's too much. You sometimes can't tell where one ends and the other begins. It really means forever, and there's so much responsibility in that..."
"So you're avoiding them because they make the commitment seem wonderful, but it still scares the hell out of you."
Quatre sighed. "That. And I think most of them want to deck me right now. They're probably right."
"Definitely right is more like it." In an instant, the sympathetic young woman he's been talking to morphed back into one of the Furies, glaring at him full force. "Because you got scared of being happy, you took it out on your boyfriend - on your anniversary, no less! - and broke his heart! I bet it never occurred to you that he might have wanted all that stuff, too. And now what must he be thinking? How do you think he feels?"
"Iria..."
"Don't 'Iria' me, young man!" she snapped, and leaned forward to look Quatre in the eye. "You have quite possibly made the biggest mistake of your life, and you'll be damned lucky if he takes you back!"
Quatre was silent, so Iria continued. "I will give you two days to figure out what to do and what to say, then do it. I expect full apologies for being a complete and total ass. I expect groveling. I expect humility in the face of anything he says to you, and I will hear all the details of it, so you'd better make it good. Is that clear?"
"He won't forgive me. I wouldn't forgive me, if I were him."
Iria flashed her little brother a tired half smile. "then be glad he isn't you. You just might stand a chance."
~*~
Einstein Library was a good place to go when you wanted to disappear completely and never be found. The fact that it was the science library just made things easier for Trowa - he could actually work there, while avoiding phones, email, well-meaning friends, and most of all, Quatre.
Just the thought of the blond young man made him angry all over again. He'd been terribly hurt at first, of course, but it quickly faded into a wish to hurt Quatre just as much as he'd been hurt, himself, to make him feel as miserable as possible. While revenge would have been sweet, though, Trowa wasn't sure he could see the other man any more without losing his resolve.
It was impossible to look at that face and remain angry long enough to intentionally hurt Quatre. It just... stung. Trowa couldn't help feeling pitiful and useless - the man had stomped all over him, for Heaven's sake, and all he could think about was trying to fix things, trying to get back the warm caring that was currently leaving a gaping hole in his chest .
Rubbing at a face that seriously needed a shave, Trowa leaned back in his chair and stopped even pretending to focus on his studies. "God. I feel like shit."
"You look like it, too."
Trowa heard the chair next to his scraping on the floor and winced. It figured Wufei would be the one to find him. He shot his friend a baleful look. "Thanks. That's a helpful thing to say."
Sniffing, Wufei wrinkled his nose. "You reek, too. Haven't you been home since Thursday?"
Trowa shook his head. "Didn't feel like it."
Wufei shook his head in disbelief. They'd all been looking for him for the past two days. Everywhere. Duo, in particular, was beginning to get frantic. But Trowa hadn't called, emailed, or shown his face in all that time. "Idiot. Get up - we're leaving."
Trowa slouched in his chair. "I don't want to go anywhere..."
"And I didn't give you a choice, did I?" Wufei asked, standing up and reaching out to pull his reluctant friend upright, as well. He softened the criticism with a smile as he finally managed to get Trowa on his feet. "You've had two whole days to sulk in peace; it's time to face the world again."
The taller young man swayed slightly on his feet. "I wasn't sulking. I was studying."
"Sure, whatever." Wufei quickly scooped all Trowa's books into his backpack and threw it over his shoulder, then put a comforting hand on the man's shoulder. "You okay?"
Trowa forced himself to nod. "I will be. But... can we go to your place?"
"Sure. Why?"
Trowa grimaced. "I just... I don't want to think about it right now."
Wufei nodded sagely. "Fair enough. Let's go get you a shower and something to eat, okay?"
"Hey! There are vending machines in here," the tall teen protested weakly.
"I rest my case. You need real food. Now let's go."
~*~
Heero looked up and smiled as he heard the door to Roberto's opening, and three familiar figures stepped in - Wufei and Sally were on either side of a pale and exhausted-looking Trowa. The Japanese man turned and poked his fiancé with the back of his pen. "Hey - take a look."
"Wha... Trowa!" The long-haired young man was on his feet instantly, darting through the other customers to come to a skidding halt in front of his friend. "Man - don't ever disappear like that again! We've been so worried about you - we looked everywhere..."
"He was at Einstein, Duo," Wufei said, gently turning them towards the table, where Heero was waiting.
"Figures - why didn't we think of looking there sooner?" Duo rolled his eyes. "You guys go on back - I'll just grab your usual for you, Tro," he said, already heading towards Roberto.
The Cajun leaned a little closer over the bar as Duo came up. "He don' look too good. Where was he?"
"Science Library," Duo replied, grimacing. "Damn - the stupid thing is they're both smarter than this! If Quatre dared to show his face, I'd smack him for being such an idiot!"
Roberto chuckled dryly as he poured steamed milk into the mug in front of him and added a dash of cinnamon to the top after stirring to make sure the sugar was mixed in. As he handed the beverage over, he remarked, "I tink dat's Trowa's right first. Dere you go."
Duo paid him and gave him a quick smile before turning to go back to the table.
Muttering under his breath, Roberto watched the four friends with a frown before he turned around and reached for the telephone and the scribbled note right next to it. His eyes glittered as he quickly dialled. Quatre had been there just that afternoon, begging to know if Trowa had come by yet, and had forced Roberto to promise to call, should the tall teen show up.
He'd call, sure. The blond deserved no less than to face Trowa and the rest of his friends now, before their anger faded.
Besides, he reflected as the phone began ringing, unless he'd read Quatre completely wrong when he'd seen him, the young man was more than ready to apologize. Well, it would be best to get it over with, then everyone would be happy.
"Hello, Quatre? It's Roberto. He's here..."
~*~
Duo scowled darkly as he recognized a slim, blond figure entering the café at a full fledged run. Quatre had never looked quite as scruffy as he did then - hair askew, khaki pants wrinkled, and one sneaker clearly coming untied.
He just had to show up when they'd finally convinced Trowa to eat something! Duo stood and crossed his arms over his chest belligerently as the blond caught sight of them and rushed in their direction. Heero was almost immediately at his side, glaring for all he was worth.
Duo heard a soft gasp and the sound of silverware clattering on the table and cursed under his breath.
Quatre stopped a few paces away and began speaking before Duo could begin his tirade. "I know you're pissed at me, Duo, and I'm sorry. But right now I don't want to talk to you. I want to talk to Trowa and at least attempt to apologize. I swear, after he's done telling me he never wants to talk to me again, I'll stand here and take anything you want to throw at me."
Duo glared. "I don't see why I should let you..."
"No, Duo," Trowa interrupted softly from behind him. "I want to know what he has to say." Still glowering, Duo stepped aside.
Quatre's mouth went dry as Trowa's pained, intense gaze caught and held his. The taller teen's voice cracked miserably as he said, "You're a fucking asshole, Winner."
"I- I know that," Quatre said tearing his eyes away, looking ay anything but the angry group of people around him. He would have much preferred to do this in private, but he somehow knew that, if he tried to back out, he would never have the chance again. "I was a complete bastard, Trowa, and I don't expect you to forgive me. But I want to explain, at least.
"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me," he said quietly, looking back up into those green eyes again. "Since I met you, I've become a better person. I've learned to stand up for myself better, I've learned how to enjoy myself, how it feels to be loved and cherished... I'm no longer the same person I was a year ago, and it is because of you, and that frightens me. And the rest of you," he said, tossing a glance over the others, "You couldn't ask for a better set of friends and supporters than you, but that scared me, too. It's absolutely terrifying when you're surrounded by so much of a good thing - you keep expecting the other shoe to drop. And then you," he said pointing at where Heero and Duo still stood, hands clasped, "start with your wedding planning, and you're so damned happy... It makes me sound like even more of a bastard when I say it, but I couldn't take how fucking wonderful you guys make this whole commitment thing seem!"
Trowa's white face perhaps got even whiter. "And you think I haven't changed as well? Do you think I wasn't a little scared of it all, too? Well, I was, but you know what? It didn't fucking matter because I knew you mattered more."
The words flew in Quatre's face, and he felt as though someone had sucker punched him. He flinched visibly. "I'm sorry, Trowa. I can't say it enough, but I'm sorry. You're right - I didn't think of anyone but myself... Hell, I didn't even think, or we wouldn't be here right now!"
Trowa's fists tightened, white knuckled, on the table. "You turned and ran from me - from us - because you got scared, and now you're sorry. What if I said it wasn't good enough, what then?"
Quatre blinked furiously as tears welled up in his eyes. "Then it is your choice," he whispered, looking away. "I knew you would not forgive me."
"Wrong!" Trowa stood up, suddenly seeming to tower over Quatre, who was staring down at his shoes. "Have you learned nothing, Quatre? You said they-" Heero and Duo both flinched and moved closer together as Trowa flung his arm out, pointing at them, "seemed so happy. You saw what they went through! Well? They didn't run from it - they fought for it, damn it! If you don't love me enough to do better than this, than maybe you were right, after all."
Quatre felt himself shivering, but he looked up at the man he loved, his own anger finally breaking through again. "Fuck you, Barton! Why else would I be here? I'm here because I want to be back with you - because I haven't been able to do anything since I said those awful things to you! I'm here because I was a moron who tore his own fucking heart out with his own hands and threw it away, and I want that heart back! I want you back! I don't want to be the person I was before I met you, anymore - I want to be the person I become when I'm with you!"
The small group suddenly realized that all conversation around them had stopped - everyone in the café was staring at them with shock clearly written on their faces. Heero glared over at Roberto, who quickly turned away and struck up an obviously contrived conversation with the woman closest to him.
Trowa sat down, drained, and Quatre sank into the seat across from him, elbows firmly planted on the table, face buried in his hands. Heero sank into an overstuffed armchair, and Duo perched on its arm, hand firmly clasped with that of his fiancé.
Quatre didn't look up as he spoke again. "I freely admit I'm the world's biggest fuck-up and I don't deserve to be forgiven, but I'm hoping you can be a better person than I am and give me a second chance. Please, Trowa," he said, looking up and locking eyes with the other. "Please tell me this isn't it."
Trowa's green eyes burned in his face as he stared back across the table. "You are a complete and total bastard, Quatre. What will happen next time? Will you pull another stupid stunt the next time you decide life is going too well for you and something bad has to happen? How can I possibly trust you with that?"
Quatre tore his eyes away and stood up, not looking at anything or anyone. "I understand. I- I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry..."
He turned and slowly began navigating his way between the tables, eyes blinded by tears.
He was thus completely surprised when a hand caught his wrist before he could grab the doorknob and spun him around. Quatre found himself looking up into Trowa's face.
The taller young man pulled him closer. "You ever pull something like this again, Quatre, and I'll kick your ass to India and back." He yanked Quatre against his chest and kissed him, hard.
Both young men were oblivious to the shocked gasps and "awww's" coming at them from the other patrons of the café - Quatre's arms automatically wrapped themselves around Trowa's waist as the taller teen wound one hand up into soft blond hair, cradling his head as they kissed.
Breaking the kiss, the two simply held each other, Quatre's face buried in Trowa's shoulder as the taller man rested his cheek on his companion's soft, blond hair.
"I ruined our anniversary."
Trowa chuckled. "Yes, you did. You'd better be ready to make it up to me."
"Trowa, I'm sorry! I really am," Quatre repeated, holding on tighter.
Trowa's reply was cut off as the door opened behind them and a person stepped in. "Hey - does anyone in here drive a sliver-blue Rolls Royce?"
Quatre spun around quickly, going white in the face. "Oh my God - I think I left the keys in the car..."
Trowa laughed behind him as the man's jaw dropped open. "Ummm, yeah, you did. You're lucky a cop was around or it'd be gone by now."
Wufei tapped Trowa's shoulder and handed him his jacket with a small, but happy smile. "Go on - go with him and make sure he doesn't cause any accidents, or something."
Trowa gave a small smile in return before Quatre dragged him out the door by the hand.
Wufei was still grinning as he made his way back to the table. "Well, thank goodness that's over."
"I still think he's a creep for pulling that, to begin with," Duo grumped, frowning.
Sally reached over and smacked his arm. "Oh, come on! If Trowa can forgive him, that's all that counts, right?"
"She's right, Duo," Heero said, squeezing the hand still held in his. "If not, hell, you'd all still probably hate me."
Duo squeezed back and lapsed silent again.
Sally tossed Wufei a wink. "Well, that's enough drama for me, I think. Take me to bed, lover."
He rolled his eyes in reply, but couldn't hold back his grin. "As the doctor orders..."
Duo and Heero watched the pair leave with something between shock and amusement on their faces. As the door closed, though, Heero pulled his fiancé into his lap and hugged him close. "We sure have an interesting set of friends, don't we?"
Duo nodded and cocked his head. "I think you and me are the sanest of the bunch."
Heero laughed out loud. "Now there's a scary thought!"
OWARI
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