Notes: *...* denotes thought
------ lines between these symbols connotate a flashback
BTW, this story has nothing to do whatsoever with my Embrace The Night timeline.
This is a fusion, not a crossover attempt, with Mermaid Forest/Scar/Mask, my version #1 of what makes Heero Yuy such a Perfect Soldier and why no matter how many times he attempts it, he never dies when he self destructs. I'm only borrowing certain elements of the MF/S/M storylines. Don't know what the above storyline is? Email me and I'll give you a brief overall view.
Gundam Forest Book 1 Part 1
Heero Yuy has been time and time again referred to as the 'Perfect Soldier'. By both enemies and allies alike, his fighting prowess, unmatched skills, and ruthless determination to fulfill his mission requirements have been revered, maintained as the ideal, envied, and of course, feared. His apparent fearlessness of death has attracted and repelled countless others; those that attempt to understand how he can hold his own life with so little regard. They try to understand why he is willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of his precious missions.
Perhaps he does not fear death because he has no need too.
Because Heero Yuy cannot die.
And all thanks and accreditation land on the shoulders of one perverse and maniacal doctor who can neither claim to be fully human or fully robotic. Rather, he is a motley combination of both.
So, if a soldier cannot die no matter how many times it is attempted, doesn't that make him a 'Perfect Soldier'? An ideal warrior who can fulfill any mission and come back ready to accomplish another, equally grueling task.
And if it can be done once, if there is such a soldier, what is there to stop his creator from devising an entire army of immortal warriors? A legion of unstoppable fighters that would ensure the dreams and goals of whomever controlled them. What could possibly exist to thwart such attempts?
Nothing.
Except that the immortality that Heero Yuy maintains is not easily achieved. In fact, it is rather difficult to attain, almost impossible. And it was not, for lack of a better word, perfect.
Much to Dr. J's ultimate dismay and disappointment.
So, that leaves the immortal fighter alone in his predicament. A lone enigma to those that know him and those that fight with and against him.
But all agree that Heero does indeed tend to live up to his nickname. He is, essentially, the 'Perfect Soldier'.
But even though he is immortal, he is also still human. And every human being has at least one weakness, one flaw.
So the natural conclusion is:
What is Heero Yuy's weakness?
Heero softly cursed under his breath as he stumbled in the darkened bedroom he had shared with Duo. Unwilling to turn on the overhead lights, and inadvertently alert the other sleeping pilots to his activity, he had attempted to function with only the dim illumination of the moon.
It was a painful mistake, as his shin soon found out. Right after he had started to move around the room, he had banged the unlucky appendage on the corner of the bed frame.
He bit his lip hard, drawing a small welling of blood. As he leaned down to rub the offended area, he quickly glanced around, his eyes searching for any items that he might have missed.
His precious laptop from Dr. J lay on the desk, next to four precisely folded letters. His lone duffel bag sat on the floor next to the wooden desk, his few pathetic belongings thrown in randomly.
As he glanced around the dark room, his eyes fell onto the second bed that graced the other wall of the room.
The other, unoccupied bed.
Granted, that bed hadn't really ever been occupied at night when Duo had slept in Heero's arms, but it had also never been so... empty. Duo had always come into the room and thrown his jacket or his bag onto the bed, mussing the covers, giving the illusion that he didn't sleep with Heero on one bed.
But now the bed was neatly made up, not one fold or crease showing in the coarse polyester blanket that covered it.
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"Heero, I think it would be best if I moved out for a little while. There's a third bedroom down the hall that Quatre's had made up for me. After everything that's happened... I... I can't stay here right now."
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Heero's eyes closed tightly as the painful words pierced through his memory. He understood where Duo was coming from, but that didn't ease the hurt that raced through his consciousness. Didn't hush the cry of denial that wailed from his recently shredded heart.
A grim, yet resigned thought entered his mind. *It's nothing more than you deserve. They're right. You are a monster... an abomination... something that's unnatural. Who in their right mind would want to stay with you? It's what you get for opening up your heart, for daring to reach for something that's beyond you.*
Heero stood up, grabbing his laptop and shoving it into his duffel bag. Zipping up the rather light pack, he slung it over his shoulder, satisfied that he had everything that mattered. He made a brief foray into the adjoining bathroom, double checking that area too, blatantly ignoring the small bits of personal items that Duo had left behind in his flight.
Content with the status, confident that nothing important had been left behind, he returned to the bedroom, stopping at the small wooden desk. Four brief letters were all that lay on the nicked surface, each of them had one name penned across the paper. Even with the faint moonlight that pierced the gloom of the bedroom, Heero's perfect eyesight could decipher the names written on the letters.
Quatre...
Trowa...
Wufei...
Duo...
Heero picked up the last letter, the one he had written to his lover, holding it limply in his free hand. His eyes clenched tightly shut as a sudden burning sensation sprung up behind the prussian blue orbs. However, he was unable to detain the one lone tear that managed to escape from its prison, sliding down his face to fall onto the pristine paper in his hand, slightly marring the ink written name.
Heero gritted his teeth and put the letter down with the others. He swiped his hand against his face, wiping all traces of the betraying tear from his skin.
'Perfect Soldiers' do not cry. They do not have emotions.
Heero reached up around his neck, his fingers lightly playing with a slender chain. They reached down and enfolded around the slightly heavy object hanging from the end of the chain, allowing it to rest against his palm. Heero toyed with it, his eyes still closed. He didn't need to see it to know what it looked like, or to read the inscription inside. To know what the mocking words etched inside promised. The memories were forever burned into his mind.
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[a few months ago]
Duo looked up at Heero, excitement apparent in his violet eyes. He held two small objects in his tight grip, a broad smile stretched across his heart shaped face. He had burst into their bedroom shortly after the mail had arrived at the Winner estate, his face flushed with happiness.
"Oi, Heero! They've finally arrived!"
Heero's impassive face showed no emotions, although his eyes were twinkling with a trace of some deep emotion.
"Hn. Baka," he said, although no trace of hostility was apparent, rather the term was uttered as an endearment.
Duo winked at his lover and said saucily, "Aa, but I'm YOUR baka, ne?"
Heero stared steadily at the braided flirt, before grabbing the other man and thoroughly kissing the living daylights out of him.
When Heero finally surfaced for air, he stared into the other man's dreamy eyes, completely satisfied with the result he had induced. He began tugging the other man towards the rumpled bed on the far wall, clearly intent on finishing what he had so spontaneously started. However, a slim hand halted him in his tracks.
Heero looked with surprise at the other man; usually the Japanese pilot was the more reticent one about the consummation of their relationship. He had turned questioning cobalt blue eyes on his lover, only to meet amethyst orbs filled with determination; a face set in quiet resolution.
"Iie, Heero. First we finish this."
Duo opened his fist to reveal the two objects nestled in the palm of his hand. Two simple bands, silver and gold on each intertwined together, lay sparkling in the dying sunlight that pierced through the large windows. Thin silver chains were looped through the rings, the metal gleaming up at the new owners.
Heero sucked in his breath as he recognized the simple design that he and Duo had picked out one lazy afternoon, so long ago. On a whim, they had ordered the rings, as a physical testament of their devotion to one another. However, in the recent struggles of the war, he had forgotten about that particular event.
Duo grinned again and reached up with his other hand to undo the clasp of one of the necklaces. Reaching up with his arms, he placed the silver metal around Heero's powerful neck, fastening it with deft movements. The ring solidly lay nestled in the middle of Heero's chest, almost in line with his thudding heart. It winked up at his wide blue eyes, looking for all the world as if it belonged there.
Heero had not been prepared for the sudden flooding of foreign emotions that invaded his mind.
It took Heero a few moments before he realized that Duo was holding up the second necklace, patiently waiting for his darker lover to reciprocate his earlier actions. With hands that were slighting shaking, Heero picked up the necklace and placed it around Duo's neck.
His face was excruciatingly close to Duo's as he leaned over, making sure to carefully sweep his braid aside, avoiding trapping any of the precious chestnut strands in the clasp. Accomplishing his mission, he began to withdraw his hands from around Duo's neck, only to find them trapped in another's grip.
Duo's smiling visage filled his vision, even as his lover's unique sunlight filled scent invaded his senses, threatening to destroy his already shaky composure.
Heero took a ragged breath and whispered, "Duo..."
Duo's cocky grin turned sultry as he answered. "It's just like the inscription says, Heero. Forever, Aishiteru."
Heero felt Duo's lips capture his own in a tender embrace which quickly turned demanding. Lithe hands released his only to snake up and around his torso, finding their way quickly underneath his thin tank top.
Underneath the impassive gleam of moonlight, the two lovers sealed their love.
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*NO!!* Heero ruthlessly shut his mind down, refusing to remember any more of the past. He didn't want to remember the lies... the cruel half-truths that he had been fed.
With one swift decision, he tore the necklace from his neck, snapping the silver chain. His hand fisted around the ring, the two loose ends of the silver swung freely from either side.
With a motion that belied his uncaring mask, he slammed the ring down on top of the letter. Securing his pack with a tighter grip, he paused for one second before turning away and walking silently from the room, his sneakers creating a light tread. As he closed the door behind him, he imagined that he was placing the last nail on the coffin of his emotions.
He effortlessly escaped from the place he had called home for the past several months, nothing and no one stopping him. He slipped into the massive garage that was attached to the side of the estate, quickly choosing his vehicle.
He picked up the helmet and smirked under his breath. Tossing the helmet aside, he straddled the bike, gunning the ignition. As he peeled out of the garage, he tossed one last look at the dark mansion, unwittingly picking out the window of the room that Duo had retreated to.
Firmly fixing his face forward, out onto the dark road ahead, he roared away, the wind whipping his hair wildly. Turning his back firmly on the past, he embraced the unknown future that lay in the night, leaving behind the shattered remains of his heart.
[the next morning]
Trowa hesitated outside of Heero's door, unsure whether or not to intrude on the Japanese boy's solitude. Last night, he and Quatre had talked and had made their decision regarding Heero. They had decided to accept the boy for what he had been before that doomed mission against the OZ foundation; their friend. It no longer mattered that he had not told them, perhaps he had good reason.
They would let him explain.
And then they would let him know that they were there for him. To give him support. He would need it.
Wufei had remained obstinate last night, refusing to discuss Heero or the revelations that the Japanese had unveiled after the successful escape from the OZ compound. And Duo hadn't left any doubts the night before about his personal demons he had to battle. The braided pilot had noticeably returned to wearing that silver cross of his, allowing it to take the place of the ring he had started wearing a few months ago.
Trowa didn't know whether or not Heero had noticed, but he was almost positive that the Japanese must have.
At Quatre's urging this morning, the broken and battered boy had whispered that he felt something awful had happened, Trowa had gone to confront the other pilot. He had faced fierce animals before, lions and tigers and bears (oh my! - sorry, couldn't help myself ^.^), but never had he ever been this nervous.
Gathering his courage, Trowa rapped three times on Heero's door and waited.
Nothing happened.
Trowa knocked again, this time louder and longer.
Again, nothing happened.
Worry started to seep into Trowa's mind, stalling his hand. He knew the Japanese pilot had low self esteem to begin with. Panic started spreading as he fervently prayed that the Wing Zero pilot hadn't done something rash or foolish.
Trowa gripped the doorknob and opened the door.
Emptiness met his inquisitive eyes.
Trowa could only stare disbelieving as he took in the details of the neatly made up, but completely deserted room. He gaped at the impeccably made up beds, not a crease in either coverlet. The closet door swung open listlessly on its hinges, revealing the empty space where Heero's clothes had once hung.
Trowa's gaze fell onto the desk, the only other piece of furniture in the small spare bedroom. Littering the top of the smooth surface were four slips of paper and a small circular object.
Trowa ventured further into the room, heading intently to the desk. Dread started filling his heart as he neared the far wall.
"Oh no," he whispered as he saw the objects that held his attention. He absently noticed that each paper had a different pilot's name inscribed on the cover. He noticed the one with his name written in sharp, slanted bold writing, but it was the last letter that held his morbid fascination.
Lying on the paper was a gold and silver ring that sparkled in the early morning sunlight, a broken silver chain snaking around it.
*His ring!!! Oh damn! What have we done??!!*
Scooping up the letters and broken necklace, Trowa ran from the empty room, down the hallway towards the bedchamber he shared with his two lovers. He raced to the side of his blonde lover, the one who was currently resting and nursing his several cracked ribs, while at the same time calling for the others.
His yells of panic echoed through the halls of the Winner estate, reaching the startled ears of the other two pilots who were in the kitchen, unaware of the drama that was slowly unfolding above.
[somewhere miles away]
A lone figure ate up the miles as the bike roared across the asphalt pavement. Unruly brown hair whipped around in the wild wind, the rider's face was an undeterminate grimace. The road was winding, sharp curves that hugged the cliffside, the sea a good few hundred miles below, complete with a collection of reefs and sharp rocks. Guardrails sparsely littered the sides of the roads, gaping holes existing where the aged metal had been eaten through by rust.
Heero's eyes strayed to the side, each upcoming hole in the safety fence being carefully examined before briefly dismissed. Suddenly, a large hole in the upcoming curve caught his morbid attention.
Increasing his already reckless speed, he was quickly approaching the sharp turn. A brief memory flashed through his mind, a white reflection of the past.
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[over two years ago]
Dr. J looked down at the young boy in front of him, the sixteen year old's countenance held a mixture of forced obedience and hostility carefully rolled up in one single glare. The scientist had just finished the latest batch of experiments he had been running on his little pet, and the subject wasn't taking kindly to his repeated tests.
As the half man, half machine started cleaning up the mess in his lab, he decided it would be wise to instigate a little fear in the boy.
"You know, Heero, although the mermaid flesh seems to have worked on you, it in itself is not infallible."
Dr. J looked out the corner of his eye, noting that he had grabbed the youngster's reluctant attention. He nodded his head, as if talking to himself, and continued.
"The old man that I had acquired it from told me that there is a way for those who have eaten the flesh and gained immortality to die. Unfortunately, the old fool passed away before I could learn what it was. So far, nothing I have tried has worked. You could die from something as simple as getting caught in crossfire, to something stronger like a genetic parasite. However, we have other things to start focusing on now."
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*I can die. I can be killed. I can die. I can be killed.*
Heero repeated this mantra over and over again as he pushed the cycle to its limits, increasing his dizzying speed. With one last burst of power, the cycle roared through the break in the safety barrier, leaving the tenuous sanctuary of the road to begin a free fall to the rocks below.
As the certain death loomed up before him, increasing in proximity, Heero's mind tiredly finished.
*It doesn't matter anymore. If I come back, I'll just start over again. Goodbye... Duo.*
TBC...
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