Confusion of the Heart Part 4

//"I don't have something to smile about."//

Duo cursed as he attacked the OZ ships. Instead of seeing Heero's smirk and mocking smile as he slice through each ship, the Deathscythe pilot found himself replaying all of Hitoe's words since they first met.

//"Thank you very much. I've never been this happy before."//

Hitoe's words kept echoing in his mind as he cut down some ships in half.

//"I'm sorry Duo.."//

Duo gasped as one ship managed to attack his back. He turned and sliced the ship with his scythe.

//"You love my face."//

"Damn you, Yuy!" Duo cried out and controlled Deathscythe wildly, sending all the ships in his way to the bottom of ocean.

// "I'm not an innocent angel like you think I'm, Duo."//

The Deathscythe moved as efficient as ever, destroying more and more ships.

//"It's okay if you don't want to meet me again. I understand that....."//

Finally the last ship had been destroyed. Duo panted inside Deathscythe. No matter what he did, the image of a smiling Hitoe kept coming back into his mind. Her soft voice, her happy expression, and the sensation when he kissed those soft lips. Duo reminded himself that it was Heero all the time, but still he found he missed his Hitoe. And it had only been two days since his departure.

//"You don't hate me?" //.................

Duo stared out to the ocean far away. He was confused.........and angry....All Hitoe's words were true.....


After completing his mission on the sixth day, Duo finally flew Deathscythe back to the hidden cave near the safe house. He still wasn't sure about what to do with a certain Japanese pilot. He had spent six days inside Deathscythe, rarely eating or sleeping. All he could think was Hitoe and Hitoe. Her words kept ringing, repeating itself like a litany inside his mind.

It was past midnight when he arrived at the safe house. Duo trotted up to his room. Heero's room. Duo drew his breath, unsure of what to do. He couldn't predict what the Japanese pilot's reaction would be once he saw him. Slowly, he opened the door and walked in.

Duo held his breath as he acknowledged Heero lying on the bed, sleeping. Still confused about his own feelings, Duo approached the sleeping boy. He stood next to the bed and stared at the sleeping figure wrapped and covered from the neck down by a blanket. Heero's face was pale under the moonlight that fell from the window. He was breathing regularly through his pointed nose. Duo ran his eyes over the Japanese pilot's face. How much he missed this face, those soft lips, and the delicate cheeks he used to caress tenderly. He missed his Hitoe.

The braided pilot unconsciously raised his hand and touched the sleeping boy's cheek. Duo watched the face. It was Hitoe's. Hitoe's nose, Hitoe lips, Hitoe's chin, Hitoe's eyes. This was his Hitoe. The blue eyes opened slowly as he caressed the cheek and blinked in confusion at him. How he missed those beautiful eyes. His fingers trailed from the soft cheek to the lips. They were opened slightly as the owner seemed confused and surprised at Duo's action.

Duo felt drawn into those blue eyes as he leaned down and captured the delicate lips, replacing his fingers. Ah, Hitoe, his Hitoe. How he missed tasting her. Those lips opened as Duo ran his tongue on them, granting him access. Hitoe always let him inside, let him claim and tease the shy tongue inside and this time was no exception either. Duo sighed in satisfaction as he explored the moist cavern. He sucked and licked every inch of it, savoring the sensation he had missed for six days.

When he felt his lungs were on fire, Duo broke the kiss and stared at the lovely face. Those blue eyes were still staring at him in confusion and disbelief as a hand came up and touched Duo's face, as if trying to convince the owner that this wasn't a dream. The hand caressed Duo's cheek slowly and Duo leaned into the caress, closing his eyes.

Then a voice came up, breaking the serene moment they shared. "Duo..."

The was low and heavy. Hitoe's voice was lighter than this. It wasn't Hitoe's voice! Duo's eyes snapped open. His mind finally registered it was Heero that he kissed. It had always been Heero. Duo felt the anger rose inside him again. He had fallen into Heero's game again. He had kissed Heero again despite all the words he had said before he left the safe house. And being like a whore he was, Heero accepted his kiss again, opening his greedy mouth easily. The anger became stronger as Duo imagined the mocking smirk Heero would give him. A triumphant smirk. All right then if Heero wanted to play, he would play.

Duo caught the hand on his cheek and pinned it on the bed at the same level with Heero's head. He dropped his weight, sitting on Heero's torso and pinning the boy. "You like to be kissed, don't you whore?"

"Duo?" The voice sounded confused at the sudden change.

"How many men had fallen into your game, slut? I bet you open your mouth for them too. Well, if you want a kiss, I'll give you a kiss you deserve, whore." Duo leaned down and ravished the Japanese pilot's lips. This time there was no gentleness in the kiss. It was a kiss that was meant to hurt, to inflict pain. Duo poured all of his anger into the kiss, biting down on every surface he met with his teeth and tasting the sweet metallic blood. He thrust his tongue roughly into Heero's mouth, sucking and licking it ferociously as if wanting to draw all the air out of the Japanese boy. Duo even bit the tongue that tried to push his tongue away.

"Hmmph.." Duo felt Heero try to push him away with his free hand and turn his head to the side to avoid his kiss. This only resulted in angering him more. Breaking the kiss, Duo raised his hand and brought it down fast to meet Heero's left cheek. The resounding smack broke into the silence of the night.

Duo panted; his anger had blinded him. But he was shocked when he heard the loud smack echoing throughout the room. He could feel his hand throb in pain from the slap and slowly his anger subsided. Finally, he realized what he had done once his eyes fell on Heero's red cheek. He ran his eyes to check the Japanese boy's condition. His head had been thrown to the side by the force of the blow. Heero's eyes were wide open but didn't focus to any certain points. Then, Duo saw the bleeding and tortured lips.

The American pilot felt dizzy looking at the results of his anger. He never thought he would attack and ravish his partner like this. And what worried him the most was that Heero wasn't moving. He lay as still as a rock. One of the Japanese pilot's hands was still pinned by one of his, while the other one lay lifelessly by the side of his pinned body. Slowly, Duo released the pinned hand and moved his weight off of Heero to sit on the bed.

Heero still didn't move. The Japanese boy seemed to be afraid to move, like he would be hurt again if he moved. For the first time in his life, Duo felt lost. He didn't know what to do or what to say. Then his eyes caught something glint on Heero's chest. Their struggling had shoved the blanket down and revealed the bare chest of the Japanese pilot. Duo stared at the shimmering item. It was his cross.

Duo looked back at the Japanese pilot's face and was stabbed with guilt when he noticed the pain and hurt held within those beautiful eyes. His head throbbed painfully as the dizziness attacked him and his body couldn't stand the lack of sleep and food any longer. Duo fell forward and heard Hitoe's voice one last time before he blacked out.

//"Love most?" //


The Japanese pilot watched as his American partner rested uneasily on his bed, tossing and turning every few minutes. He raised his hand and touched his own cheek, feeling the pain there. His eyes kept on the restlessly figure on the bed, watching him long after coming to a decision.


Dark.....and hot...where was he? Duo opened his eyes and saw walls of fire in front of him. He ran away, trying to escape the hot walls, but the walls seemed to follow him wherever he went. He ran and ran, never stopping. Then he came to a dead end. Duo turned and saw the walls getting closer and felt his sweat sliding down rapidly over his body as his surrounding became hotter.

Then he felt something cold on his forehead. He looked up and saw a boy with blue eyes extending his hand. Duo quickly caught the hand and felt his body being pulled up, leaving the heated environment. The boy pushed him toward a light. As he entered the light, Duo felt his hand being released. He looked back and saw the boy standing in the dark, smiling sadly. Duo extended his hand but the boy shook his head. As the light engulfed him, Duo heard the boy uttering one word.




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