Author: Aaeth Payne
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon
Pairings: 1x2
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimers: I do not own Gundam Wing! *curls up into the fetal position crying* But I can play with them right?
Beauty Part 1
On a ship bound for his robot-run home, Treize Kushrenada spent his one hundred and fifty first birthday. Before nightfall he would be back in his home, and among his children.
There was tall slender Trowa with his emerald eyes and love of music; little Quatre- much shorter, pale skinned, and eyes of soft blue, full of happiness and joy. And his youngest, his only born child, made with a woman he'd long since parted ways with: Heero with his moss green hair and turbulent spirit.
It seemed that he produced sons- either mixed with unknown women in tubes, or in the human womb. He loved them all and they loved him back, though Heero gave him an uneasy feeling. His life would never be peaceful, what would happen in fifty or sixty years when Treize was no longer around?
Tonight there would be a party, and guests would mingle in the golden rooms and exchange gifts to mark the occasion. This time each of his sons had told him what they wanted. Trowa desired a bow strung with real horse hair- but hair that had been collected humanely, and the horse had not been harmed. Quatre wanted a real silk shirt- produced before the silk trade had stopped. When asked, Heero simply replied, "A rose. A grown rose not from a greenhouse or a florists."
Treize felt uneasy as he considered Heero's request. "But all this snow... I suppose I could send east for it..."
"Plucked by your own hand."
Quatre's eyes watered. "But if he detours from his trip from Cerulia then he'll never be home in time for the dinner party!"
Heero smirked wryly. "It seems I've given you quite the puzzle Treize."
Winching slightly at Heero's refusal to call him dad, papa, or father, he replied. "It seems you have." He smiled at his children. "Well, I suppose I'll look out for roses in the snow."
He wouldn't realize until his ship landed at the station just why that sentence made him feel so troubled.
~*~
"Mr. Kushrenada? Would you please come this way?" The attendant wasn't a robot. That was a bad sign.
"What is wrong? My cargo?"
"No, no, nothing is wrong with that. The commissioner just wants to talk to you."
He entered the office and was offered teas, cakes, cookies and other treats. Treize refused them all while his sense of disquiet increased.
"It is my duty to inform you of a great honor or a great imposition that is to befall you... depending on how you look at it. We've been entrusted to give you this package."
Treize watched as the man removed a sheet from a crystal box. At the bottom of the box there was a pile of dirt. From the dirt a thin green stem grew. At the top of the stem there was a perfect rose. A perfect green rose. There was only a single thorn- but that single thorn pierced his heart.
"I'm sorry, I see that this is not an honor. But you see that the code and name stamped on the box are yours."
"I do."
"I'm also to be the witness to see to your acceptance."
"No."
The man appeared surprised. "Sir! You realize what a refusal-"
"I will comply, but how can I accept this?!" He opened the box and plucked the rose form the dirt. A sweet smell wafted through the office. Treize was going to be sick.
~*~
The feeling of joy he usually associated with homecoming was instead replaced by intense dread. The glowing welcoming beacons in the windows mocked him in his sorrow.
He hurried to his room and changed into his party clothes. He quickly made his way to the hall, but there was no happiness in his haste.
He arrived and took in the scene before anyone could notice him. Trowa was sitting at the piano. How could he send him away? He was studying with two great musicians, and although still very young his original compositions were exquisite and unique. He had so much to give to the world. And he was also in love. Beside the piano stood his Asian lover, shoulder length hair catching the candlelight. His calm demeanor and caring toward Trowa all endeared him to Treize.
By the fire sat Quatre. He sat listening to the music and admiring his lovers- one male and one female. They were eccentrics, as all of Quatre's friends were, but Zechs and Noin were both completely devoted to the small blonde. Though Treize had originally worried about their influence on Quatre, it seemed that he just gave them his sunshine- loosing none of himself in the process. To send Quatre away- No!
Then his eyes fell upon his third child. Heero- the child of he and a woman, stood at the edge of the group. The cold perfection of the omen sickened him. The green of Heero's preferred shirt matched perfectly with the rose's petals. He absently twirled the clear stem of a champagne glass between his fingers. It was almost as if he knew. It wasn't unheard of for the chosen to have had an inkling. It was ironic, now that he thought of it. Heero almost hadn't been born. Heero's mother had almost lost him, but thankfully he had been saved...
Suddenly Heero looked up and met Treize's gaze. He moved through the crowd and stood before him. "Welcome home Treize." Quiet and collected, almost a stranger. "Did you find the rose?"
"Initially I thought that I would fail you." Treize held out the rose. "But there is your rose."
Heero silently took the rose and gazed at it a moment. He looked up and nodded. "Ryokai. They are your sons. I'm just visiting."
"WHAT?!"
Heero held up his hand. "Gomen. I mean that I have very little to lose. But they would lose everything. It must be me."
"I will-"
"Hai, hai. When do I leave?"
"The usual time is a month. You know that if there was anything at all-"
Heero nodded. "Yes. You have much power and influence, but there is only so much you can do."
Biting his lip Treize hesitated a moment. "Can we wait until this thing is over to tell the others?"
"Absolutely." Heero turned on his heel and walked to his room taking the rose with him.
~*~
Treize had only been five when thy first came. The ships were few and came bearing gifts. They gave gifts of technology, intelligence and industry. Their culture was far superior to what the terrestrials' had been at the time. Their purpose seemed altruistic, and after a while most left. Some stayed behind as if Earth had enchanted them, and they were tired of their endless travels. They seemed content just to be there. It was easy to forget about them.
About the time Treize was twenty-six, the first roses were sent. He was distracted by his studies, and finally only the heated public outcry alerted him to what had happened. The aliens had made their first demand, actually it was more of a rather insistent request. One that could not be ignored.
It was clear they could have just taken. The rose was just good manners. And with the first roses came the explanation of what was required. One child from the family that received the roses would be sent to live among the aliens.
It was inhuman in the logic used. Every family chosen was wealthy, with plenty of friends, children, mental capacity and spirit: all in all the kind of people able to handle such a loss. A son or daughter, whichever the family felt could be spared, or would find the situation challenging, or tolerable, was sent away.
When sent to live with the aliens the children did not become sacrifices, or slaves. They did not become cut off from their families. They continued on in their way on the alien bits of ground. They were allowed to move about, and go outside, and explore to their hearts content. They could study and learn everything they desired.
There was only a single change in them, a sadness that would become more and more pronounced in every video call, and a dreadful silence would fall.
Visits home would become less and less, until stopping altogether. It seemed that they melted into the alien world. The last time families saw them the chosen ones looked sad, as if they had opened a door they shouldn't have and had learned something terrible. Finally families would mourn for their children- sucked into and absorbed by the alien culture.
~*~
The month passed, and now Heero quickly packed his things.
Somewhere in the house Quatre wept, and Trowa played a sad melody.
"Sayonara."
"I will-"
"I know." Heero glanced at his brothers and raised his hand in a farewell gesture. "I will see you again. I will make sure of that."
~*~
Heero felt nothing but anger. But even in this situation, the feeling was blunted- as if he knew he SHOULD feel anger... but he couldn't quite bring himself to really experience it. As long as he could remember Heero had been bereft of feeling. They just escaped him. Trowa expressed himself through music, Quatre through talking. He had no outlet for himself. Sure, blowing up random things was fun... but once you reach a certain age such displays are frowned upon. He preferred to speak plainly and concisely. He could write if he needed to, but couldn't create poetry to save his life. With all this against him, Heero felt he could never convey himself to others. As a result he grew to be something of a stranger in his own home.
At fifteen he tried to volunteer to go to the colony on Mars. It wasn't that he had any particular desire to go- he just wanted to see if he could find himself there. But his application was sent back with a big red "NO". It seems that his lungs were not strong enough for the thin atmosphere of Mars.
To examine his feelings he found himself puzzled. Why feel anger? Was it really because of the separation, or was it just because he had no choice? Perhaps deep down he had hoped to someday form a deeper bond with the people who loved him. Perhaps he had hoped to someday find someone who- once all his or her faults were obvious, he wouldn't come to hate. Is that why he was so angry? Because by being brought to this alien land he had lost his chance of ever becoming human?
It only took a single winter's day. The car quickly traveled over the frozen landscape, and Heero looked ahead to where the vehicle was taking him. They pulled up to a small building where he left the car and instead got into a car that was suspended from a cable. It took only a few minutes until the car touched down on a platform.
Heero stepped out. He looked around a moment before walking down the staircase after the metal servant that carried his luggage. Once at the bottom a large doorway was illuminated. He walked through and stood in the center of a large lobby. It was strange... there was a sound... or a smell... something about the entire place was hauntingly familiar.
Soon a glowing orb floated up to his eye level. "Heero Kushrenada, I will be your guide!" Its vice was soft and sweet... soothing. It annoyed him. "A room has been prepared, and I can answer any-"
"When will I meet the alien?" Heero had enough of the sweetness.
"Whenever you choose."
Heero arched an eyebrow. "But what if I never want to see... him?"
"If that is what you want then it will be respected whenever possible."
"And when it isn't possible I'll be thrust into his presence?"
The little orb dimmed.
"You won't be forced into anything."
"I'm here against my will." Heero crossed his arms over his chest suddenly feeling very stupid for arguing with a machine. He gestured for it to go, and he followed it to his room.
~*~
Because of the orb's assurances, Heero kept to his rooms for a month. He had everything he could ever require- a small garden, and even access to the library though a touch panel. Anything he couldn't get by computer, the orb brought to him.
He sometimes wondered if he was spied on. He strived to be as dull as possible just for spite.
After two days he sent a letter to Treize saying that all was well, and as a second thought that Quatre should stop crying- or he would wash his lovers away.
After a week Heero decided to look up every bit of information he could find about his mysterious host and his culture. "Curiosity killed the cat..."
That is of course what they resembled. Everyone knew that the aliens resembled some sort of large cat. It was obvious from their vertical pupils to their long tails and ears. Though ashamed of their appearance, they never tried to hide descriptions of themselves... only their actual selves.
One day he was staring at the walls. "If I am being watched... are you enjoying it, I wonder..."
Why was he here? He wasn't a slave, and he wasn't a toy.... He was as free as he had been at home. Supposedly all the others were free as well... but still, their answers were never satisfactory. And he certainly couldn't solve the puzzle all shut up in his rooms...
"You've been patient." He turned a bit and spoke to the walls. "Should I come to you? Or will you come to me?" He closed his eyes and then focused with his mind. ~I will wait for you in front of the house at sunset.~
~*~
When the sun dipped below the skyline Heero was at the front door dressed in his green shirt and black shorts.
He walked through the door and looked out over the grounds. He finally spotted the only other figure around.
Dressed completely in black the man... alien... bent over a rosebush and smelled the blossoms. With the black hooded mask that covered all his face, and his long-sleeved black shirt, gloves and pants that tucked into his black boots there was nothing even resembling skin showing.
With a certain perverse pleasure Heero walked up to the figure and smirked. "So you admit that even though you let me think I was free you've been watching me."
Straightening, the being spoke. Heero realized with surprise that even its voice was being altered so as to not offend his ears.
"I read your thoughts because you wanted me to! I am no telepath I am only sensitive to those thoughts directed at me specifically. And you were very specific."
The voice, though distorted, was pleasant and charming. Against his will, Heero found himself relaxing. That was not acceptable.
~*~
They walked in the garden for a while before going to the dining room for their meal.
Heero found himself fascinated with the alien's mask. When he went to take a bit or a drink, the mask was gone for that instant, but when finished it was back again. It was quite unnerving.
"If this bothers you I can wait to eat."
"It does, but don't stop eating." Their meal continued in silence. Finally Heero raised his head. "I'd like to go to Treize's house."
"Any time." The alien did not stop eating.
"I want to stay there." He waited for the alien's reaction.
"I'm not reading your mind, but I still know when you're lying."
Affronted Heero quickly replied. "I am not lying!"
"You don't know the meaning of the word 'home'. This is as much your home as Treize's home ever was."
Heero shook his head. "This is a beast's house! A superior monster that I wonder if I would be able to kill." Heero glared intently at the figure. "Could I kill you?"
There was a short laugh. "You could try. I'm tougher than I look. However, I have no doubt that you could hurt me."
"Gomen." Heero hung his head. "That was very... blunt and rude. Of course I'm also sorry that I could not kill you... Excuse me, I think I will go back to my rooms now."
"Why?" The head cocked to the side- a feline gesture that once again reminded him what he was talking to. "It was my impression that you're enjoying yourself."
Heero stared blankly.
"You're only trying to lie to yourself."
Standing suddenly Heero clenched his hands into fists. "Why was I brought here?! Is this some sick experiment?"
"You will find out when you are ready. Right now you are more afraid of what the answer could be, and not what it really is. When you are not afraid any longer, you will find out."
Heero saw how his words were lies. He had spoken more to this being in the past few hours than he had to any humans. He felt more at ease in his presence than any one else. He stood there a moment before turning to leave.
This time he wasn't stopped.
One in his room Heero decided he wouldn't see the alien again. Not until the alien asked.
Time passed.
He wrote about the alien. About his gestures and actions, about how ugly he must be, and how he should always be on his guard.
More time passed.
He thought about escape.
More time passed.
On the last day of the month he stopped pretending. And suddenly there he was. He stood there and held out his hand. Heero walked up and placed his own hand in the alien's.
They talked for hours. He learned that the alien's name could not be pronounced in his language... he couldn't even really think it in his head. So to manage He began calling him Duo because it was as close as he could come to the real thing. Duo didn't seem to mind- in fact, he seemed to like the new name immensely.
They talked all night and some of the day. Duo played some music, and though he didn't understand, Heero still loved it.
Once Heero woke up smiling and laughing at a dream he was sure included Duo.
He realized that here, with Duo, he was happier than he'd ever been in his life. The realization that he loved Duo was slow to come, but it was as undeniable as the rising sun. He looked back and realized he must have loved him from the moment he saw him by the roses.
Duo had to know. Even if he didn't see it in his mind, it must be obvious from the way he acted. What was he going to do?
He'd sent Treize a few letters, but they all said very little beyond that he was fine.
When it reached later summer Heero finally decided to visit Treize.
~*~
It was a still day when Heero reached Treize's house. Everyone came out to greet him enthusiastically. Trowa showed him the works of art the green-eyed boy had created with his lover Wufei. And Quatre introduced him to Noin's son... the trio were unsure and unconcerned with whom the father really was.
Later there was dinner, and when the baby was asleep, and the conversation lagged Heero faced the inevitable. "I haven't really told you much about where I live now."
"Actually, you have." Treize quietly answered.
Heero reflected that to them it probably did seem like he told them much... "What have I said, then?"
Pausing Treize said, "That we shouldn't be afraid. That you are doing very well."
"I'm actually very happy there."
Quatre gasped and then apologized.
"No, don't be sorry. I'm quite all right... I've been reading, and tending a garden. I've taken to writing a bit. And Duo is... fascinating."
"I didn't mean that-"
"You didn't mean that I shouldn't be happy where I am because of why I'm there. But truly, it isn't unpleasant. I never would have gone otherwise, but it really is good for me I think. I feel useful there." Heero paused, unused to speaking so much in a single stretch.
The conversation died, and everyone excused themselves until it was only Treize and Heero left.
"Please, tell me what you do with your time."
~*~
Treize calmly listened as Heero told him of his life with the alien. It struck him immediately how similar his life here and his life there were... except here he had the opportunity to do the same things as he did there, he just never did them. It also struck him that, while Heero often mentioned Duo in conjunction with other activities... when he spoke only of Duo his actions were more uncomfortable and he would stumble over words.
Treize took a sip of brandy. "This is a sensitive question, so don't feel you must answer it... I've always felt that despite all differences, the humans selected to live with aliens... eventually become their lovers. Is this true?"
"That has never been talked about."
"Do you think that it might eventually come up?"
"..."
"I'm not asking to make you uncomfortable, or to fulfill some idle curiosity. No one has ever claims to have been raped or otherwise coerced, so that means that partners are willing."
"You're asking me if I would become his lover."
"I am asking if you love him."
Heero grew still, and for a moment Treize saw the look of sorrow he'd only heard described flash across Heero's face. And then the look was gone.
"I don't think I want to talk about this."
Ever the diplomat, Treize instantly changed the subject.
~*~
Two weeks passed. They went on outings and had parties. Trowa gave a concert, and everyone came to cheer for him.
But all the activity was beginning to wear on Heero. Sometimes he just wanted to yell at them. "You're dear to me, but you get on my nerves! Now I want to go-"
I want to go home.
Yes. The house on the hill was his home. His home was with Duo... because... because he loved Duo. But how did he love him? Did he love him as a teacher...a friend... or as a lover?
That night he mentioned returning, and they didn't protest. They had known before he did that he wanted to leave.
~*~
"I nearly forgot to give you this." Quatre handed him a shirt of cobalt silk. "It matches your eyes perfectly. Wear it for him."
Heero's eyes widened. "For him?"
"Yes." Quarter smiled. "It is ok that you feel like that for him. Even if you want him sexually."
"QUATRE-"
"Heero, I know that you're innocent. You're not stupid, just innocent. It's ok. I suppose the only obstacle is his looks..."
"How can I..."
Quatre shook his head. "I don't know... you just have to see him. You must see him with nothing to disguise him. Have you done that?"
Heero was silent.
"Then you must. You've gone too far not to."
"You don't understand..."
"I don't?"
"You might want to... ruin... something..."
"Maybe. But what do you care? You've obviously become attached to him. He is a living breathing person, but until you know you can accept him, how can you commit yourself?"
"They're ugly..." Even Heero saw how hollow his words were.
"Some people are ugly too! Does that mean they can't be loved?"
"What if I do see him, and then I can't accept him? What then?"
"Your feelings will change! They will become something else, but you can't go on like this." Quatre hugged him gently. "Think about this."
~*~
Heero quickly made his way through the house to his rooms. He walked though to his gardens and wondered if Duo knew he was back...
A word echoed though his head that meant yes. Heero smiled as he realized how close they were that Duo could communicate with him like this. It didn't feel like an invasion, it was very polite and gentle, almost like a mental caress.
Heero hurried out into the garden and spotted him. Duo stood over by the pool that held several koi. Heero smiled shyly and offered his hand to Duo. He felt his hand carefully enclosed in a soft black glove.
They talked for hours, and that was all he cared about. It didn't matter if he loved Duo. Or if Duo knew... of course he did. It was just the two of them alone and comfortable with each other.
Later they listened to the music from his culture, and Heero took the time to study Duo and think about him.
For the past few nights he had been having distinctly sexual dreams about his host... but always the form was unseen. As he looked at Duo now, he wondered... would he be scared? Disgusted? Disappointed?
The music was over, and Duo gracefully rose to his feet. "I think that we are both tired, ne?"
"You know what I want to ask of you."
"Yes."
"Will you allow it?"
"If you feel you must... yes."
"Now?"
"Not right now... tomorrow. I swim in the morning. Come to my rooms- the orb will lead you. I swim without all this on. After that you can go or stay."
"Arigato." Heero turned and slowly walked back to his rooms.
"It is ok if you change your mind!"
Heero turned back to Duo and smiled a little. "You know I won't." He winked and walked back to his room with a spring in his step.
TBC...
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