Author: Aaeth Payne
Pairings: 1x2/2x1
Warnings: Yaoi, Angst?, Lemon, AU, Heero is very OOC
Rating: R
Disclaimers: I do not own Gundam Wing! *curls up into the fetal position crying* But I can play with them right?
A Fish Called Duo Part 1
Duo breathed deeply and took the odd tasting air deep into his lungs before the mask was removed. Panic threatened to overcome him, but it soon passed. But he only had to see his friend nearby to know that he was safe. Buddy breathing [1]was such a bitch.
How the hell did he get himself into these situations? The answer had to be his friends. He needed new friends. No more film students. No. Film students who need boys who can pass as girls to play stunt doubles for said girls will definitely not be considered friends from now on!
Of course that didn't help him now. His hair was tangling in the warm salt water, and he was breathing through a mask that he had to share with Quatre, who doubled as the underwater cameraman.
Looking down at the green rubber that extended from his padded chest to his toes, Duo couldn't believe this looked realistic at all.
Duo grabbed the mask again and took another deep breath. It was show time.
He waited for the signal and then took off. Carefully kicking his legs as if they were a real tail, Duo swam through the shallow waters off the coast of Islamorada. He was instructed to find the fishing line that had no bait on it, hook it into the rubber of his 'tail', and hold on for the ride.
He secretly thought that the premise of a man catching a mermaid while fishing sounded like the plot of a bad porno... but whatever floated Wufei's boat.
He quickly found a line with no bait, hooked it into the firm rubber of his... 'cleavage' and tugged on the line. Before he could grab onto the fishing line he was being reeled into shore.
~This isn't supposed to happen! I should be swimming toward shore while he reels in the slack!~ Duo tried his best to keep up with the steady tug, but he was mostly being pulled around by the hook, and it was not pleasant. ~Screw this! Wufei can get another double!~ Duo looked down to dislodge the sharp piece of metal.
That was why he didn't see the rocks just ahead of him.
[1] Two scuba divers sharing a single mask. One takes a breath- gives it to the other and back and fourth... its actually rather neat. But I wouldn't like to do it for a while.
~*~
Heero smiled down at his little sister's delight. She had eagerly handed the fishing pole over to him when she felt the strong tugs at the line. Judging by the way the fish was fighting, it was indeed something big.
It was good that they were allowed this time. Who knows how much longer they had. Agencies were breathing down his neck, and his lawyer was not being very positive.
He glanced down and took in the honey blonde hair and smiling blue eyes of his beloved little sister, Relena. She was the child of his father and stepmother, born shortly before they were both killed in an accident. He had only been thirteen at the time of their death. For the past seven years he had been the only parent she knew and they wanted to take her away now?! Where were these child welfare people when he'd needed them? When he had to go to school during the day and work at night to pay the bills?
He was twenty now. He had a good job and he could really take care of her. But now he was suddenly too young. Children and Youth came knocking just last week demanding for him to give Relena to them so she could be placed 'in a more stable environment'.
"Heero. Look." Relena's voice shocked him out of his thoughts.
Heero looked out into the ocean. It was then he realized that he'd reeled his line in completely. And there was a person at the end of it. A person with a tail. "What the fuck?!"
"Ohh baaaaad Heero! You shouldn't cuss!"
"Stand back Relena." Heero carefully stepped closer to the still body. It appeared to be a mermaid... but that was impossible! Heero took another look. Whoever this person was... they were gorgeous. Long chestnut hair wound around a thin body, a pert, upturned nose above a generous mouth, and toned arms. Beautiful.
Everyone in his school had been required to take First Aid course, and for once Heero was glad that he'd paid attention. He crouched down and placed his fingers on the artery in the stranger's neck, and Heero was able to find the steady pulse... but he immediately noted the fact that this person was not breathing.
Heero tilted the head back and put his ear to that adorable nose. Nothing. He looked down the body to see if the chest was rising at all. It wasn't, but he did notice something odd. What he thought was a scaled bosom, was in fact stuffing in green rubber.
Not taking a moment to really think about the implications of a man going around dressed like a mermaid, Heero pinched the man's nose closed, opened his mouth, and breathed air into the unconscious man's mouth. Seconds ticked by in Heero's brain while he administered rescue breathing. Again he put his ear to the man's open lips and looked at his chest: nothing.
Heero repeated the process twice more before the man finally began coughing and spitting up seawater. Quickly turning him on his side, Heero let the man empty the water from his lungs. Once sure there would be nothing more thrown up, he turned the man onto his back. For a moment the man's eyes fluttered open to reveal impossibly violet irises before closing once more.
Worried that his efforts had been in vain, Heero put his ear down by the man's face once more. But this time he was able to hear the sound of breathing and see the man's cheat rise and fall.
Sitting back on his heels, Heero looked over at Relena and grinned slightly. "Well, I think you caught the biggest fish of the day."
She giggled and took a step closer. "Can we take her home?!"
Heero realized that she hadn't noticed the actual sex of their 'fish'. How does one explain to a child about cross dressers? "Umm... I suppose we should." Heero carefully slid his arm under the man's shoulders and knees before carefully lifting him into his arms. He was surprised how light the man was... pleasantly surprised. They did have a ways to walk and it helped that he was light.
They carefully walked up from the beach to the parked car. Heero looked over his shoulder and couldn't help but grin at the way Relena was trying to keep up with him while carrying both fishing poles and the tackle box.
After juggling the man into one arm, Heero unlocked the door and lowered him into the passenger seat. He carefully buckled the man into the seat before helping Relena into the back. Heero got into his seat and started the car. As he drove back to their home, Heero didn't realize how much this fishing trip would change his and Relena's life.
~*~
**knock knock knock**
Heero sighed and went to the door. He looked out the peephole and recognized his best friend and lawyer, Trowa Barton. He opened the door and nodded. "Trowa."
The dark-haired man stepped inside and nodded back. "I have news."
Raising an eyebrow Heero crossed his arms. "News?"
"Yes." Trowa walked into the kitchen and placed a manila folder down on the table. "There is a way for you to circumvent Children and Youth. It is a long shot, but it might work."
Grinning widely Heero barely kept himself from glomping onto Trowa. "How?!"
Sighing in a completely un-Trowalike manner he opened the folder and pointed to a highlighted line of text. "Get married."
"WHAT?!" That was completely unthinkable, not only was there no way he could find and convince a woman to marry him in the immediate future... he didn't swing that way!
"The courts are more likely to give you permanent custody if you are able to produce a stable environment... and in their minds that means a mother and a father. If you were able to produce a mother before the hearing- then Children and Youth might drop the case before it even sees a judge."
Heero collapsed into a chair and rested his head in his hands. "Trowa, how can I do this? You know that... I don't even..."
"I know." Trowa sat down. "All I can suggest is finding a woman willing to marry you to please the court, and then get divorced a few weeks later. Like I said, it is a long shot."
"Trowa! I'm shocked!" Heero placed a hand over his ears and mock gasped. "That's so sneaky!"
"Mmmhmmm." Trowa grinned.
"I love it." Once again serious, Heero propped his chin in his hand. "But who?"
Trowa pulled another paper from the manila folder. "I've produced a list of women you know who might be willing to go along with the plan."
Heero grabbed the paper and looked at the names. "Dorothy Catalonia? There would be a rape victim in the marriage... and it wouldn't be her. Hilde Scheibiker? She'd want to wear the pants! Catharine Bloom? Trowa, I know you love her like a sister, but she's dying to get married. I'd never be allowed a divorce!" He checked off name after name until there were none. "Well shit."
Trowa took the paper back and stuffed it into the folder. "I know you're picky Heero, but you'd better seriously think about this. I haven't been able to find any other loopholes in their complaint."
"I know. I know."
Neither of the men noticed the cornflower blue eyes that had been peeking around the corner for the whole conversation.
~*~
Duo slowly blinked his eyes. Where was he? The room was too bright to be his bedroom; it also didn't look like Quatre or Wufei's rooms.
"Are you a girl?"
Duo started at the unfamiliar voice. He sat up to see an adorable little girl standing at the foot of his bed. "What?"
"Are you a girl?" She took a few steps closer. "When me an Heero found you, you were dressed like a mermaid. But Heero says that you weren't really a mermaid."
Blinking a bit, Duo nodded. "Yes, I was dressed as a mermaid, but I'm not a girl, I'm a boy."
"Then why were you dressed like a mermaid when you're a boy?" She stood up by his side now.
Duo thought about how to explain it to her. "Ummm my friend was making a movie. He needed me to dress up and pretend to be a mermaid for the movie."
"Oh ok!" She smiled widely. "My name is Relena! I'm seven years old. How old are you?"
Laughing at her exuberance, Duo couldn't help but smile back. "I'm Duo Maxwell, and I'm twenty three years old."
Relena nodded then got very serious. "Would you be my mommy?"
"What?!"
"Bad people want to take me away from daddy! Uncle Trowa says daddy can keep me if he gets married."
Duo sighed and nodded. "I see. Honey, I'm a boy. I can't be your mommy."
She shook her head. "No! Daddy doesn't wanna get married. He wants someone to pretend. You're good at pretending cuz you were a really good mermaid."
"Ummmm, thank you, but even if your daddy wants someone to pretend to be your mommy, he would want that person to be a girl." This was weird. Duo didn't figure it was his place to discuss the birds and the bees to the little girl.
"Nuh uh. He likes boys! I know cuz a all the naked boys in the magazines under his-"
"RELENA!"
Duo looked up to see an absolutely gorgeous man standing in the doorway. Said gorgeous man was currently turning beet red. "Heero, I take it?"
He nodded. "Uhh, yeah... Heero Yuy." Taking hold of her shoulder he gently guided the little girl into the hallway. "I'm sorry about that... kids her age- they'll say anything!" He closed the door and laughed nervously. "Are you feeling better?"
Duo grimaced. "A little... my head hurts like hell, but other than that..." He looked up and caught Heero staring at him. The blue-eyed man looked away and blushed again. "I'm Duo Maxwell, by the way."
"Yeah, I think you must have hit your head on the rocks near shore. I'm ummmm, sorry for... catching you."
Duo looked at the man, shocked for a moment, before he burst out laughing. "It's ok... better you than a whaler, right?" He winked and laughed some more.
"Yeah... uhh about my little sister..."
"Wait a minute... sister? I thought you were her father." Duo was feeling confused. Heero looked too young to have a child Relena's age, but you never could tell anymore.
Heero pulled a chair over to the bed. "I'm her brother... our parents died about a year after Relena was born. I've pretty much raised her so she considers me her father."
Duo nodded. "And now Children and Youth are getting off their collective asses and trying to provide a good home... a few years too late."
"Yeah. Pretty fucked up, right?" Heero lowered his head to his hands. "I guess Relena must have heard me and Trowa talking. He found out that I could keep her if I were married."
"Oh..." Duo watched Heero's still form. How much he had to have suffered to make it this far by himself... and then to have his sister taken from him? It just wasn't fair.
"But hey, you don't need to hear all this." Heero stood up. "You look hungry. We have eggs and toast, or Raisin Bran, or uhhh... Raisin Bran." He grinned. "We haven't gotten a chance to go shopping yet."
~That or you don't have the money to stock a kitchen for guests.~ Duo smiled. "Eggs are fine. Thanks a lot!" Duo lost his smile when Heero turned his back. ~Poor guy.~
TBC...
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