Secrets and Lies Part 1
~ Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. ~
They were soldiers, fighting one-man wars against impossible odds. They were killers, with the blood of countless thousands upon their hands. They were children, with no one to fight for them... no one left to protect them.
They sought each other's company because anyone else would have been deadly. They sought each other's bed because the nightmares didn't seem so bad when you weren't alone. They sought each other's bodies because by burying yourself in the warmth of another's flesh made you forget, if even for moments, the cold that was encompassing your own.
They dealt with it alone and in silence... never sharing. Maybe because they had nothing to truly call their own they refused to share their partners. Even their Gundams weren't truly their own.
*****
Duo was the first to stake a claim. It was in the way his eyes followed Heero that the others knew even before he did who he chased. But Quatre was actually the first to succeed; it was from his room the first cries of passion were heard. It surprised no one to hear Trowa's rich voice joining his in a lover's concerto. Wufei was off limits. It was an understanding that he still grieved for his long dead wife. He didn't find his comfort in another's embraces. He found it in dreams filled with half forgotten memories. Until the day he avenged his Meiran's death she couldn't rest in peace. And as long as her spirit wandered this mortal plane alone he couldn't touch another.
Heero was actually the first to make a move. One night when he and Duo were huddling together in a drafty storehouse waiting out a storm and the patrols of a nearby Oz base he began to talk. The normally taciturn boy found once he began he couldn't stop, those words that fell from his lips were soon followed by tears spilling from his eyes. Tears that Duo wiped away with out a word.
Before it happened they had appeared to barely tolerate each other. They were too different like water and oil. They had always been good for each other too. When Duo was with Heero he seemed calmer more serious, and when Heero was with Duo he smiled, becoming human. Was it so surprising they became best friends?
It was that friendship that destroyed them in the end.
*****
They hid their love behind the friendship, refusing to acknowledge their weakness and allowing it to take root and grow stronger. Sex was just sex, they never spoke when they were touching... and afterwards there was just silence in the musky room. They never questioned why every touch was so special. Why they needed each other so badly. Why when they were apart time dragged and when they were together the whole world stopped.
Alone they could have born any pain upon their tortured body or soul the enemy wished. After all they were soldiers, the mission came before all else. They were trained to deal with their own pain... they weren't trained to deal with each other's pain.
Or being hurt by a loved one... if it had been any of the other pilots.
Oz's plan would have failed.
But they had managed to capture Duo and Heero together in the last fight. It hadn't even been a huge base, just a tiny experimental facility they were scouting for strange activities. It was pure bad luck that a guard had changed the schedules making their intelligence data worthless.
Perhaps he could have gotten away alone, Duo had been around the corner hidden, but he couldn't. For the first time in a long time he had lived as the boy not the soldier. He couldn't leave his lover behind. No matter how Heero's normally expressionless Prussian eyes pleaded with him to run. He had known then nothing would matter if Heero died. If he lost that boy, the rest of the world could go to hell for all he cared.
He lost him anyway.
*****
As Heero glanced around the room the austerely fitted space seemed familiar some how. It wasn't like their usual cells though. The walls were bare gundanium, Expensive and cold. The cell was a twelve by twelve square. The only furniture was a bed, which Heero was chained to, and the chair that Duo was chained to. Both were utilitarian and molded to the floor.
"Baka... you should have run."
"I couldn't."
"Can you reach your pics?"
"No, my hands are encased in some metal gloves. You?"
"..."
"I guess that means you're stuck too, huh?"
Time passed in silence. No guards came to 'interrogate' them. The silence was uncanny and the sense of false peace stretched their nerves to breaking point. When the only sound other then Duo's voice finally broke the silence. Heero wanted the silence back.
"Welcome home my son." Came the soft voice and both boys turned to look at the woman standing in the doorway. Her words filling the room. Heero felt the bile rise in his throat half choking him as a thousand ruthlessly repressed memories were violently awoken. Only one woman spoke with the supple slither of a snake's underbelly against granite.
"Mother..." He whispered.
*****
Heero hadn't been born, he had been created in a lab by this woman. He was the result of years of research in the illegal science of genetic manipulation. The training J had given him was nothing compared what she did to him. Up until the year Heero had turned 4.
That was the year that Odin had been sent to assassinate the woman Heero called mother. He had rescued Heero from the cage she kept him and had barely escaped before the place went up in the flames of a well-planed bomb.
TBC...
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