Author: CeeDee
Pairing: 1x2, or 2x1
Rating: PG
Warnings: Moody, sad, sappy, cheesy
Disclaimer: I don't own GW.
Longing
Loving someone who doesn't loves you back sucks, let's face it. You can tell. Looking for a replacement, a warm body just for company, doesn't work really. And trying to fall in love, while you're in love with somebody else, doesn't work, either.
Your tale of an orphaned kid turned trained boy, turned skilled youth, turned jaded man, in much too short an amount of time. Lonely, without ties. Full with love for just the one, but without an outlet, without the special person to give it to. Bursting with emotions, with feelings, with a yearning to hold, to be held, to love, to be loved. And yet, ...all alone.
You wander down the streets, searching for the one, but never finding. Looking for the familiar face, but never seeing it. The blue of the eyes, the brown of the hair. And even if you know you've already found with your heart, it is not enough; you will look until you've found, too, with your eyes, with your ears, with your skin.
Hands in your pockets, you search for him, someone special, somewhere in here, in this crowd, but still in vain. You look, but you don't find him. Just noises surround you, twirl around, unfiltered, senseless, like the crowd itself.
You kick at a piece of junk in your path; you aimlessly stroll through busy streets, not noticed just once in the midst of the crowd, a faceless piece in the endless stream. Like the stream of people itself, consisting of faceless persons. Looking out for the one you will recognize. Hoping for the moment in which he will be able to recognize you, too.
No colours here. No peace until then.
But again, your search for the one you love still won't bring him across your path. Maybe even won't let him see you the same way you see him, even if you just could find him.
A few more steps, but today it is just too much. A few more steps and you turn around a corner, into a small alley, and come to a stop. There is no crowd here, no noise, and no faceless people.
You are alone.
And it is quiet.
And you lean back against a wall, and a solitaire tear runs down your face, because again, you looked in vain, haven't been found. Won't be loved, won't be held, not tonight.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe tomorrow your path will be the same he will walk, and maybe tomorrow he will find you, will recognize you for the one you are. And maybe he will recognize the love you hold, and are ready to give. And maybe he will love you back.
Tomorrow.
~*~
You can't understand yourself. Again he's been awfully close. Almost too close, this time. Only the pedestriant in front of you, opening his newspaper just the moment you caught a glimpse of him, prevented you from being found.
You duck and turn, slipping through the open door of the next shop, your eyes darting, your heart hammering. A coffee shop. You've seen him, and it had knocked the wind out of you, like you had knocked the wind out of him, long ago, in space, in a last moment of innocence.
Because that's what it has been. A last moment of innocence. The last moment before you realized he's more than a comrade to you. More than a partner. More, much more. The moment the look in his eyes turned from trusting to sad and betrayed. And you turned and ran. Ran from him, ran from yourself. Fled like a coward, not able to face your own feelings, your sudden desire.
And again he almost crossed your path. You duck in the shop, cross over to an empty seat in the corner and watch through the window, watch him wandering the street, gliding through the crowd, and you realize he's looking for something.
And you realize, it's not by chance, for, wherever you'd been he's been on your trail.
He's looking for you.
Too often you almost crossed paths, too often for it being an accident. Too often for it being not deliberate. You close your eyes and try to fight down the mixed feelings, the longing for him, and the dread of fearing he's just out for revenge. Because it hurts. And you take a deep breath and decide to finally face him.
You open your eyes, look out of the window, but he is gone.
You stand, ignoring the waitress trying to get your attention, spin and sprint out of the shop, searching. He's been here, you know. It hasn't been one of your dreams, no cruel play of imagination. No fantasy.
The face, the eyes, the hair. You've seen it for real, just moments before. The stroll, the set of the shoulders. You're sure. But he's gone, now. Slipped away in a moment.
You stand on the sidewalk, people pushing and showing, and you turn in a circle, looking out for a glimpse, for a trace. You take a few steps, but then turn, and head in the other direction. Eyes darting around, for he has to be here, somewhere near, at some place next to you.
A corner, leading into a side alley. You scan the perimeters and almost dismiss it. Almost.
A figure, leaning against a wall in the shadows.
You stop, some people curse while sidestepping you, and you make a hesitant step into the quiet of the alley, drawn by the figure, leaning against a wall in the shadows. Almost a shadow on its own. A step further, and you see a braid, dangling over one shoulder. It's him, you're sure.
You found him.
Facing Death after all this time is no easy task.
He's taller than you.
You step in front of him, and you look in his face, and it's beautiful. His eyes are closed and a lonely tear runs down his cheek. Death hurts, too. You wonder, and hesitate, but then raise your hand to wipe it away, to erase the proof of pain.
A wrench on your wrist, for his hand had shot out, and gripped hard, stopping you. His eyes slowly open, and your heart clenches at the sight, the beauty, the sadness in them, the hurt, the... betrayal.
It's your turn to close your eyes, to wait for the blow, the revenge.
But it never comes.
Instead of it, a hesitant touch on your face, and when you open your eyes his face is full of wonder. Gone is the sadness, the hurt. You lean into the touch, releasing the breath you never noticed you held, and a hesitant smile blooms on his face.
He makes a step, and your arms are around him, and his arms around you. And you feel light, free, no weight on your heart, and you know.
Your head turns, and you capture his mouth and melt into him, and his grip on you tightens while he kisses you back.
Duo.
He found you.
From now on your path will be the same he will walk, and from now on he will recognize you for the one you are. And from now on he will recognize the love you hold, and are ready to give. And he will love you back.
OWARI
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