Author: CeeDee

Pairing: 1x2 (implied)

Rating: PG

Warnings: Humor (attempted), shonen ai (verrry slightly)

Disclaimer: They're not mine, just borrowed them shortly...

Oh, well. This was intended for LJ fic_on_demand. But since there was no way I could fit the 'MUST be yaoi' in it...

Barney

"Oh, shit Heero, close the door!"

Heero hurriedly closed the door behind him and took a few steps inside the living room. He raised one eyebrow, taking in the sight of his lover, standing with one leg on a chair and with the other one on the sideboard, stretching his body to reach up to the hanging lamp. The hanging lamp, on which hung, or sat, as how from which point of view you looked, a green, feathered, creature. Heero squinted his eyes. "Duo? What is that?"

"Shit. shit, shit, shit."

"Duo?"

Heero's lover twisted his head to look over one shoulder, grinning sheepishly. "Uhm, this is Barney. Barney belongs to old Mrs. O'Neil next door. She had to go to the hospital, and had nobody to look after her parrot."

"A parrot."

"Hmm. And I had... shit!" Arms flailing wildly, Duo lost his balance and Heero watched the chair, like in slow motion, tilt to one side. His lover, going down with it, grabbed onto the edge of the sideboard for support, and hit one of the glass sculptures which Relena had gifted them with, and it crashed down to the floor, shattered in a thousand pieces.

He sighed.

Then ducked hastily as the parrot, frightened by the sound, fluttered in his direction, and barely missed his head as he flew through the open door into their bedroom.

"Uh, Duo? You alright?"

Sitting on the floor and rubbing his elbow, Duo exhaled heavily. "This little devil. I swear, if I catch it... Yeah. I'm alright." He stretched his feet out in front of him. "Ow."

Heero slowly walked over to the toppled chair, sat it on its feet again, and himself on it. "So, you care to explain..."

"As I said, this," Duo gestured vaguely in direction of their open bedroom door, "is Barney. Mrs. O'Neil has to have surgery, and I volunteered us to look after her sweetie. She said he never left his cage. Sits only on the metal bars on top of it. So I let him out, putting water in his bowl, and suddenly he decided he wanna go explore." He rubbed his neck. "And I just tried to catch him again."

Heero crossed his arms over his chest. "Futile, I gathered."

"Uh, yeah. Every time I got near, he decided to flutter away. And now he's in our bedroom... Oh, shit."

Heero straightened, alarmed. "What now?"

"Mrs. O'Neil said not to let him near stuffed toys..."

Heero's eyes widened. "The Elephant, I shot on the last carnival for you."

Duo scrambled to his feet. "And the giraffe I shot for you... and the bear from Relena..."

"And the leopard..."

Together they stormed to their bedroom. And stood in the doorway, mouths open.

Billions of small, white, wool balls covered the carpet, their bed, their dresser. Hell they were everywhere. The parrot had made short work out of their treasures, and the room was not to recognize as their bedroom anymore at all.

Duo groaned and stared, fascinated. He missed totally that Heero strode to their closet, rummaged around and only the click, as the bullet slid into the chamber of Heero's gun, ripped him back to awareness.

"No, you can't shoot him. Mrs. O'Neil..."

Heero turned his head, murder in his eyes. "One word and I shoot you too."

Duo snapped his mouth shut and gulped. His eyes widened as the parrot, a part of what was left from the leopards' ear in its beak, fluttered its wings a few times, whirling up what was left of the leopards filling, and flew towards Heero, landed on the barrel of his gun and wiped its peak on it. The fabric slid to the floor, together with the slowly settling wool balls around them.

Heero glared at Barney, who was fairly unimpressed by the threat. The bird then shook itself, obviously settling down comfortable on the metal barrel of the gun.

The peak opened and it croaked. "Barney gooood boy."

OWARI

 

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