Author: CleverYoungThief
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Romance/Humor, First War, Fluff, language, shounen ai, sap? Nah...
Pairings: 2+1+2
Archive: GWA
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Don't sue. College kids are like L2 kids; we got nothin'.
Feedback: Please? ^_^
Notes: No, I haven't given up on my series fics, it's just that they're all so angsty, and I feel kind of angsted out at the moment. I needed something light and fluffy. So this is as light and fluffy and funny (and rather snarky) as I could manage. Consider it a last minute "going out of town for spring break" bribe.
"Fell in love with a boy
I fell in love once and almost completely
He's in love with the world
and sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
He turns and says Are you alright?
oh I must be fine 'cause my heart's still beating
Come and kiss me by the riverside
Sarah says it's cool she don't consider it cheating..."
--- Joss Stone, Fell In Love With A Boy
PDA (Fell In Love With a Boy)
"That girl is staring at you, buddy."
Heero looked up from his lunch, glaring at me with that "what are you, a moron?" expression. I didn't know so much introspection and concentration was needed to examine a meatloaf surprise, limp green beans, and a roll hard enough to use as a deadly weapon. But obviously Heero thinks he can absorb his food by osmosis, and any interference with his attempts to do so are regarded as reasonable cause for homicide.
I can pretty easily see him beating me to death with a roll. But that's only one of the things I love about him, after all. "What?"
I sighed. "The girl at the next table over, the one with red curly hair, sitting with all those other girls. She's staring at you something fierce, I think she has a crush on the back of your head. Better be careful, Relena might get jealous. No, don't look-oh, you doofus."
He snorted and turned around, glaring at her. A flock of girl-giggles ensued. I resisted the urge to cover my head with a book in embarrassment. Instead, I waved at her cheerfully. She ignored me, smiling sweetly at him, even though he was giving her a look that a serial killer could envy.
I felt a pang of jealousy, but it made me feel better that he'd be more likely to kill the chick than fall for her. I mean...what kind of a friend am I, anyway? Wishing my buddy misfortune in love? How low can you get?
It might be a little better if I didn't feel the same way about him that she did.
"She's not staring at me. She's staring at you," he muttered as he turned around, forking a mouthful of green beans that looked almost radioactive.
"Bullshit, she wants you bad. Admit it."
"Duo....shut up."
"You gonna stand up on the table and sing her 'Lost That Lovin' Feeling'?"
After a moment of serious contemplation, fork halfway to his mouth, he tapped the food off of it back onto his plate, then reached across the table and slammed it into my mashed potato sculpture, until the tines had sunk into the plastic of the tray almost a quarter of an inch. He grabbed my fork (aka chisel), wiped it off with a napkin, and kept eating. That's okay, I thought. I'd just use his fork as part of the infrastructure.
"...I'll take that as a no." I wiped a dab of mashed potatoes off my nose, looking over his shoulder at the girl. She and her other friends were all sitting there, long sultry legs crossed beneath short pleated skirts, whispering back and forth, giggling. I heard the word "ass" distinctly, followed by a fresh burst of laughter, and grinned despite myself.
/Why yes, yes he does./
I was surprised Relena wasn't sitting with them, but she was with the more debutante types on the other side of the cafeteria, probably discussing current events or whatever it is the "leaders of the student body" talk about over their half-frozen french fries and grisly hamburgers.
I knew that Heero was close enough to be able to hear them; the cafeteria wasn't that loud. It was a private school, after all. Either he heard them and was ignoring them, or he was selectively deaf.
When I thought Heero was more concentrated on his lunch than on me, I gave them a grin, raising my middle finger in the American salute.
A flurry of angry female British and French-accented voices rose like a storm, and I went back to making my own meal into an organic masterpiece. Heero looked up, glancing over his shoulder at the angry girls before looking back at me, scowling. "What did you do?"
I grinned. "Nada, amigo."
I could tell he wanted to look back at the girls, giving them that patented you're-so-gonna-die-now glare, but he knew it would be useless. Any attention he gave them would just spur them on, any attention he didn't give them would just make them work harder.
"They're going to compromise our position," he said, his voice so low I almost had to read his lips to hear it.
I shook my head. A Brilliant Idea had just struck me, like a bolt of lightning. If I could get away with it, my Brilliant Idea would also make for a really interesting afternoon. "No they won't. I have an idea."
He didn't answer, but he did raise his eyebrows a little, which I read as, "Oh? Go on, you brilliant, sexy thing you." Okay...maybe not exactly that, but the equivalent. What can I say? I've gotten really good at Heero translation the last few weeks.
"I'll show you, but you gotta promise not to kill me, or maim me in any way."
He scowled. Obviously, he considered anything that would make him think about killing or maiming me to be an inherently bad idea.
I added strips of roll crust to my mashed potato mobile suit, making it look like armor. Hey, it wasn't edible, not even for me (and that's saying a lot). There are starving kids in Somalia, or someplace, so I have to do something with the food. If I ever become a famous sculptor, I'll hold a benefit.
"I saved your ass in the past, bud. You owe me some credibility. Just trust me."
He ate a remaining forkful of meatloaf, chewing thoughtfully, then swallowed, just as the warning bell for class rang. The group of girls stood up, hanging back a bit, but the red-headed one came up, holding her books to a rather nice rack, if I do say so myself.
Sarah Dupont. The words "heaving bosom" come to mind. I may be more inclined to guys than girls, but even I can't resist the sexy little Catholic schoolgirl uniform. I think it's male instinct. Or twentieth century music videos. Either or.
She smiled down at where Heero was sitting, trying to finish his lunch, and after trying to ignore her for a few moments, he looked up, the same way an Ozzie might look up in the sky to find Wing there. The silence before the panic, I guess. I don't think he expected her to actually have the courage to approach him, after his Glares O' Death. Bully for her, points in the sheer stupidity category.
"Hi, Heero." She looked at me, smile fading a little. "Maxwell."
"C'est moi," I replied cheekily, smiling back. She looked at me like something stuck to the bottom of her high heel.
She turned back to Heero, smile at full watt. I've seen less teeth in a shark. She was smart, and pretty (despite having no sense of humor that I had witnessed so far). Even Heero should have had problems not returning a smile like that, anyway.
I think I underestimated him, though. If anything, his expression became even stonier.
"What do you want?"
I resisted the urge to put my hands over my face at the tone of his voice.
I didn't care if they didn't like me, we weren't staying long, only a week or two, and I could stand being disliked that long. But the girl was obviously head-over-heels for him. No need to break her heart or anything. Last thing we need to see is smeared mascara here.
"I was wondering if you had a date to the spring dance, Heero," she continued, obviously resolved to press on. I had to admire her bravery in the face of complete and utter indifference, if nothing else. But this was my time to step in.
"Actually he does," I interrupted politely, before Heero could have a chance to screw himself over.
He glanced at me with as much surprise as a professional terrorist can muster. I do?
Sarah glanced at me, and laughed shortly. It was the sort of thing you did with someone lower than you you thought was being unintentionally rude. "Don't be silly, Maxwell. If he doesn't want to go with me, he can tell me himself. Can't you, Heero?"
Heero looked as if he'd rather shoot himself.
I decided to help him out. After all, it would work great with my Brilliant Idea. Like the first guy to invent a parachute, and using Heero as my guinea pig. You'll get to be the first guy to use it; won't that be great? In his case, he probably wouldn't even pull the cord.
"Actually, no, I'm not joking," I answered, keeping my expression serious, but polite. "He's going with me."
He looked at me, shocked. I didn't look back at him, and I hoped she wasn't either, his are-you-kidding expression would have killed my ruse. I was giving the girl a well-practiced "back off, bitch" look. Okay, not all that well-practiced, but I think I still pulled it off pretty well. All the color drained out of her face.
Now, she glanced at him, but his face had almost slid back into something blank. "Is that true, Heero? Are you...going with him?"
He glanced at me, and I grinned at him. Yes, Heero, this was the thing I was talking about. Now just say yes, make a graceful retreat, and you can kill me somewhere else, not in the middle of a still somewhat crowded cafeteria.
Finally, he looked back up at her, somehow managing a semi-polite smile. He didn't practice it much, and it wasn't hard to tell.
"Yes."
Score one for the Brilliant Idea.
I smiled winningly at her. "Hear that? He is. He's also my boyfriend, so if it isn't too much to ask, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop talking about his ass two yards away from us. I don't think the rest of the cafeteria has heard you yet, but if they had, I wouldn't be surprised."
All the blood that had rushed out of her face was rushing back into it, straight to her cheeks. I didn't know whether she was going to cry or kill me. From the look on Heero's face, I knew which one he wanted to do.
"Oh, I'm....excuse me."
She walked back over to her friends, grabbing her bookbag off the cafeteria table and storming out. The rest of them followed her like a flock of geese, probably asking how mission Ask Out The Quiet Asshole went.
"Duo, what the hell are you doing?"
I grinned at him, even though I was starting to feel like maybe I took the Brilliant Idea just one step too far. He did look a little pissed. When I figured the ol' winning grin wasn't going to win over Heero Yuy in the next millennium, I sighed.
"Look, man, it was the best I could come up with on short notice. If you had told her off, you would have hurt her feelings."
"And you didn't?"
I shook my head. "Nope. She's pissed as hell at me, not you. Her feelings aren't hurt, she's feeling empowered. And not because you treated her badly, but because I burst her bubble and she didn't have to get rejected. Feel lucky. Hell hath no fury like a scorned woman."
"Where'd you get that. Actually listening in class?" Heero replied dryly, but I ignored it. That was as close to a joke as Heero was going to come.
"Nah, got it off a bottle of hot sauce." I stood up and stretched a moment, before grabbing my backpack and slinging it over my shoulder. Heero stood up after me, picking up his laptop where it sat in his case next to his feet. He slung it over his own shoulder. We grabbed our lunch trays and took them to the counter; the lunch lady was less than amused at my mobile suit mashed potato sculpture, but I thought she wasn't giving it enough credit, myself. I worked hard on that.
As we headed out to the main hall, I threw my arm around Heero's shoulders, trying to ignore the way he temporarily stiffened beneath it before slowly relaxing.
"What are you doing?" he hissed, though he kept walking as if nothing was wrong.
"We're a couple now, 'Ro. Gotta act the part, don't we?" I whispered in close to him, as if I was murmuring sweet nothings into his ear. I swear I could feel him blush. I didn't know Heero was a guy who could blush.
"And you have to do that?"
"Well, it's always that, or I could walk around with my hand in your back pocket."
He gave me a look that told me to try it, if I wanted to see my wrist broken in three places. Or he'd probably just dislocate my shoulder. Nothing permanent, mind you. Needed for the cause and all that.
I laughed. "C'mon, Heero. I'm not that bad, and you did want to get out of that date, didn't you? To protect the Mission?" I added, more quietly. I hated throwing that up, but I couldn't see any other way to chill him out enough to (gasp) enjoy my company for a change.
To my complete and utter shock, he slipped his arm around my waist, hand splayed over my side, still looking forward. It wasn't too big of a deal to most people, but I did hear a couple of whispers on either side of the hall. He didn't seem to care.
I swallowed. Hard. He must have noticed some kind of difference in the way I was walking, because he glanced over at me.
"Are you all right?" He would have used the same tone if my leg was broken and I was dragging myself across the battlefield. Can you walk?
I guess I'm all right, I thought. My heart was still beating. Way too hard, and at the speed of a squirrel's on crack, but it was beating. He saw how nervous I was, and something in my expression made him smirk.
Maybe he's not as completely clueless as he acts, sometimes. Sometimes I think it's all just a bunch of bullshit.
His hand reached up and slipped into mine, warm and firm and callused. I squeezed it, and walked down the hall, smiling like I just won the lottery. I was perfectly aware there was a big dumb-ass grin on my face, but I couldn't help it.
"There's Relena. From the look on her face, I think she's heard the news."
"Hn."
"You want to say hi?" I asked, teasing.
He blushed again-actually blushed, people, I'm trying to impress that on you-and glared at me like he was going to put my head through a locker. Or cut off my braid. Or both.
I squeezed his hand again, and then grinned. "Heero, promise not to kill me real quick."
"I'm not going to promise, but go ahead anyway," he murmured, his eyes flickering to the approaching group of girls before meeting mine. There was a little amusement in that cool cobalt gaze, I think. But I couldn't say for sure.
I pushed him gently up against the alcove between sets of lockers. I leaned in slowly, my hand resting along his jaw, giving him a chance to protest or pull away or to kill me, whichever he happened to choose, depending on his mood at the time.
He must have been in a damned good one, because he didn't do any of the above.
Even now, he still blames me for "compromising the Mission" that afternoon. Although I don't remember him complaining at the time, if I do say so myself. Not with his arms around my neck out of instinct, his tongue curled shyly against mine, his bangs in my face.
I told him that three days worth of detention wasn't going to ruin Mission parameters.
After all, who hasn't gotten caught in a public display of affection?
OWARI
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