When we are older you'll understand
What I meant when I said "No,
I don't think life is quite that simple."
- "Simple and Clean" Utada Hikaru
Bound Part 12
Complications
// How could she?! //
Tobias stormed through the the pastures, spooking the horses, feeling the high grass slap him in the arms and face as he walked, but not caring. He remembered the way Mary had looked at the violet-eyed pilot, the one the papers called Duo Maxwell... he remembered the look in her eyes. And it only made him more angry.
:: Please don't give up. Please. ::
He felt sick. Every step he took was miserable, as if he was in one of those nightmares where you're running away from something, but the closer they get, the slower you run, no matter how hard you try. He wanted to cry and break something and run and lie down and go to sleep all at the same time.
There was more to it than Mary knew, and there wasn't any way he could convince her of it. He saw that now. She couldn't see anything but what was right in front of her.
:: Never surrender. ::
His hands were clenched into fists at his side. He held them there, afraid that if he raised them, he wouldn't have any choice but to hit someone, something. Instead of going straight home, he headed out into the forests, listening to the sounds of the OZ troops waking in their camps far into the woods, far enough away so that their voices and the echoes of their barking dogs sounded like the echo of a waterfall in the trees.
He was a little hungry, and he knew that if he had just stayed at the Thompson's, a huge breakfast of homemade waffles and churned butter and maple syrup with bacon and sausage and biscuits and gravy would be almost ready by now. But he was so angry he figured he could walk to Nashville before he got hungry enough to stop.
When he finally headed back towards his own house, there was barely any darkness left in the sky. The first thing he noticed as he walked through the back pastures towards the farmhouse was that the Leo was untarped and kneeling next to the silo. Someone was hanging upside down in the repair harness, arm-deep in the left drive system of the Leo's leg. Tobias could see sparks flying in the dawn half-light.
// Zechs... //
He walked up and climbed the ladder on the outside of the silo until he was level with the lieutenant. Zechs acted as if he wasn't there, long blond hair hanging towards the ground, face flushed from hanging upside-down. The lieutenant was dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a white tank top, and looked nothing like the Lightning Count Tobias had seen on the Telnet. He looked like one of the mobile suit mechanics down at Brandeis Body and Repair.
Tobias waited silently while Zechs worked, until finally the Lightning Count pulled himself to an upright position and regarded the boy.
"Tobias Cale. I thought you were over at the Thompson farm."
"What are you doing to our mobile suit?" Tobias asked, sitting out on the catwalk that circled the catwalk, legs dangling over the side, swinging gently.
"Your father said you've been having problems with the drive system. It's bad wiring, and since I have had a similiar problem with Tallgeese in the past, I told him I would repair it. While you're sitting there, hand me the large solder, would you?"
Tobias rummaged through the chest of tools on the catwalk, grabbing the solder and leaning out to hand it to Zechs.
"Thank you." The lieutenant took the tool from his hand, going back to his work.
"But why are you fixing it?"
Zechs smiled a little, amused. "Because I am not due for a debriefing from my men for a few hours, and it is easier for me to do it than for your father to search for a mobile suit tech here. This is an old model, I doubt you could even get parts for this anymore unless you ordered directly from the Sweepers. Not a cheap venture. So you have to take care of what you have."
He adjusted something within the machinery, wiping a sheen of sweat from his forehead, leaving a smear of oil across his forehead. He cocked a friendly eye at the boy. "Besides....I like to fix things."
They were silent for a few minutes. The only sounds were the sounds of the cows lowing as they woke, and the sharp drilling noise of the soldier. Sparks flew through the air like fireflies. It was already growing warm, even though it was barely morning.
"Lieutenant."
"Hm?"
"When you catch the Gundam pilots, are you going to kill them?"
Zechs stilled what he was doing for a moment, swinging back upright. He regarded Tobias carefully. "Things aren't that simple."
Tobias looked down at the ground below the silo, watching his legs swing lazily, forty feet above the ground. "So, what will you do with them when you catch them?"
"Good question." He continued to work, inhaling in a hiss when he burnt his hand on a piece of titanium that hadn't cooled yet. He shook it briskly, scowling in a way that fascinated Tobias; real people burnt themselves and hissed and cursed. He hadn't expected a man as powerful as Zechs Marquise to even flinch.
"You mean you don't know?"
"The decision is up to His Excellency. You would have to ask him yourself. But I'm not sure that even he knows. There are too many things to be taken into consideration."
"My father said you've fought against Heero Yuy and won."
Zechs looked scornful. "Hm. That's not entirely true."
"Why didn't you finish him off? Why did you let them retreat? You could have... you know... ended the war."
Zech's voice was soft. "Because it would have been a dishonorable victory. He was at a disadvantage. I like my foes to be conscious when I beat them." He looked over at the boy, expression serious. He saw something in Tobias Cale that he had once felt; the boy reminded him of himself, when he was much younger. The boy spoke as if he had the weight of the world on his heart.
"You'll understand when you're older."
Without meeting the lieutenant's eyes, Tobias whispered, "Do you hate him?"
There was a period of silence so long that Tobias didn't think Zechs would answer, before the lieutenant finally did.
"... It's complicated."
"No shit," Tobias muttered, not thinking of Heero Yuy at all, and Zechs laughed softly. "Are we still talking about 01?" the blonde man asked, his tone gentle.
"Zechs." Tobias met the lieutenant's eyes squarely, not looking away. "What would you do if you made a promise... if you swore something... but if you kept your vow, a lot of innocent people could get hurt. Even die. But if you don't keep your word, a couple of people will get killed for sure."
The lieutenant straightened up and got out of the harness, stepping out onto the platform and sitting down next to the boy, letting his own legs hang down. He leaned against the side of the silo, staring off into the distance.
"I would keep my word," Zechs replied softly, gazing into the green hills. "When it comes down to it, Tobias Cale, your word is all you have." He closed his eyes, feeling the sun hit his face, then added, "I have sworn to serve Treize, come hell or high water. And I would die to fulfill that oath. That is what being a soldier is about, Tobias. It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, it's how much faith you have."
"So why do you fight for His Excellency?"
"I have faith in him."
Silence.
"So what should I do?"
Zechs looked at him, blue eyes as cold as ice, regally distant. "I left an enemy alive when I could have destroyed him at his weakest and ended the war in a single blow. I don't think I am the best person to ask that question."
The lieutenant stood and climbed down the ladder. Tobias watched him, long blonde hair caught in the breeze, a figure as distant and statuesque as the moon itself. How could he have ever thought...
Tobias closed his eyes, speaking in a whisper. "But I don't know what to have faith in anymore."
~*~
Mr. and Mrs. Thompson headed to church. Mary said she didn't feel well, and after a scutinizing inspection by her mother, who put a wrist to her forehead and felt up underneath her jaw, announced that she had been looking peakish, and told her to stay in bed.
As soon as she could, she slipped back into the barn with a couple of biscuits with bacon wrapped up in paper towels and a couple of bottles of water. She had looked cautiously out for the general when she crept out to visit the barn, but he had been nowhere to be seen.
"Guys? Guys, are you awake?" She whisper-shouted. Nothing. She climbed up into the loft carefully, the water bottles and packet of warm biscuits in a plastic bag around her wrist. When she got up into the loft, she saw that both pilots were sleeping again. Duo was leaned up against the wall of the barn, head lolled against the socket of his shoulder. Heero Yuy's head was lying limply in his lap, face ashen, lips chapped from fever, dark circles under his eyes.
"Duo.... Duo!" Mary dropped the bag and crawled over to them, shaking the taller pilot. He moaned in his sleep, but wouldn't wake up. His hair clung to his face in sweaty strings. In his lap, the gauze pad on Heero's shoulder had soaked through, gone a deep, dark red, the wound on his face gone an ugly, infected red. His breathing was harsh, uneven.
"Oh, no. Oh please," Mary whispered. She put her hand on Heero's limp wrist and felt his pulse; thready, irregular. Weak.
:: Ya can't stay up here forever. He'll die if ya stay here. ::
Tobias was right. He had always been right.
"What am I going to do?" she said out loud, tears welling in her eyes.
"Mary." A stern voice echoed in the barn, causing the doves in the rafters to flutter.
Heart pounding, she looked over the side of the loft.
It was Treize Khushrenada.
TBC...
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